I saw one advertised for about 150. It works with ios. They were recommending it as a front door surveillance.

Yes, that sounds right. You could have 1 pico control embedded in the wall and another floating since the pico control is the device that remembers which switch it controls. Alternatives could involve 1. An alarm system - Alarm.com or SimpliSafe controlling lights. Alarm.com and SimpliSafe utilize z-wave, so you could have 2 z-wave switches in the wall and a key fob that turns the lights on/off. The downside is that z-wave may have the reliable performance you desire. 2. A RadioRA2 starter kit. (3. Professionally installed Control4 or RadioRA2 (starter kit to full blown) 4. Wifi controlled bulbs - LiFX or Hue. This could be impractical and is definitely costly since the bulbs are always powered even when not lit. I'd recommend that you think about what else you'd like to automate as 1. Caseta switches cannot be added directly to a RadioRA2 controller if you decide to install Lutron's full blown HA system. 2. Things will get complicated and probably expensive quickly regardless of which option you pick (excluding the forget about it option).

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It might be too much hassle, but you could probably drop direct-buried (relatively shallow burial) low voltage wiring to the barn and use it to control a relay there. The one I'm familiar with is the RIB ("relay in a box") made by Functional Devices. They have nipples that go right into a box knockout. They can be bought with 24v or 10-30v coils.. You can even get them as SPDT relays, so you could make the barn switch a 3-way. One snag with this is that I think the code requires separation of low voltage wiring from line voltage wiring, and the RIB's LV coil connections pop out the same nipple as the HV ones. Maybe someone else has an idea about that, or knows of a similar relay with the LV terminals separate. Also, I think all the RIBs are rated for dry indoor use, so you'd have to take that into account. Hope this helps!