cathi - My story is so long and sad I don't know where to begin to help you. But we are moving in to our "dream home " this week after 4 long heartbreaking years. We have a very similar story. We had not 1 but 2 builders go bankrupt after taking our money. The 2nd took so much out of construction budget we did not have enough to finish. After he left the bank told us it was up to us to finish. We literally (my husband & I) finished our home. We did everything after drywall and plaster. We did tile, hardwood floors, finish, paint, plumbing finish, fireplace, etc. This is a big , high end home & we were in there banging nails & setting tile. WE have our own business to run and 9 children still living at home whom we homeschool . We had the bank checking up on us every week, telling us we were not working fast enough, like we didn't have enough to do? We have personally been working on our home for the last year. We have not been living in 600 sq. ft. but 2200 sq. ft. with 9 children, 3 cats, a dog, well you know the story, too many in too little space. Our children have also grown up on this property. We have spent summers there in the barn, having bar-b-ques, planting gardens, harvesting , camping, etc. Some of our children don't know anything else but the "new house". We weren't given any compensation for our heartache. The bank put us with the builder and they pretty much said it was our tough luck. I have shared my trials here many times, you can do a search and read them. I know for us we couldn't walk away even though many suggested it. We just felt this was our home, we have fought & fought and now we are finally moving. We also had picked everything, many of the things were in storage on property just waiting to be installed. I know the emotional connection too well. I understand what you are going through. I can not give you advice but will tell you for us we had to go the whole distance. It was about fighting the good fight for us & our family. We sunk a ton of money in also that we will not recover, as our GC did not pay subs and we had to pay them again as they liened the property. Seriously it has been a mess. The upside.... .... we start moving tomorrow. Our children will see the fruit of long suffering, perseverance, prayer, patience, hope, faith, gratefulness, etc. All the things we want them to learn & understand. Is this path for everyone? I don't know. I know for this I am a better person. I have always believed "that which doesn't break us, makes us stronger". So for me not all was in vain. So as I have no advice I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers as this is a hard road. Please let me know what you decide and how it works out. You are welcome to email me for more specifics. Kimberly

I'm sorry to hear of your experience with this builder/developer. Unfortunately, this happens sometimes. The first thing you will want to do is verify if there are any restrictions on builders you can use. Sometimes, developers will have a handful of "approved" builders that you have to use in their developments. From there, you can interview from the approved list. You will also want to make sure what types of restrictions there are on the types/sizes of homes that can be built in the development. Also check for any other restrictions that apply to homes/property in the development. Some of the things that are included in those covenants are unbelievable (type/color of fencing, front door color, where and what you can park in the driveway or on the street, etc. Basically, just make 100% sure you want to live in this particular development and that you can deal with the covenants and restrictions that will apply. It would be shame to do all the legwork to find an approved builder you feel you can trust to build your house and then realize that the development restrictions were not something you could live with. I know you liked the house this guy built...just know that the plan may not be a stock plan, but one he commissioned to be designed which means he owns the rights to it & does not have to share it with you. If it's his design, to get that house, you will need to either find a similar house plan and make any changes you desire or start from scratch with an architect/designer/draftsman. If you can use any builder you want, start asking friends, family and neighbors. Don't overlook service companies/trades that you are familiar with as well. For example, the owner of the heating & air company/plumber/electrician, etc. that you have used in the past may be able to point you to some good builders that will work with you. (Remember to do your own homework on the referrals you interview for the job...don't just accept your family members'/ friends'/ neighbors word for the builder. Watch a couple episodes of 'Holmes on Homes' on HGTV & you'll see why I say that.) I understand you wanting the most bang for your buck (esp. in these economic times). Hopefully the builder will also understand that he has to remain competitive. I'm not sure how things are going in your area right now, but in many areas of the US, the foreclosures have pushed the comps for appraisals way down and builders aren't able to build a new construction home for the comparables' price per sq. ft. This will mean you will need to come up with the difference, or the builder will have to lower his price. Materials & labor costs tend to be down right now so lowering the price (from where they were just 1-2 years ago) shouldn't be a problem unless the builder is trying to get the maximum bang for his buck as well. With the way things are in the building industry right now, many of the fly by night / not reliable / shoddy quality builders and subs have been put out of business. Many of those that are stable, reliable and have good quality and customer service are still in business (albeit considerably slower business than in the past) for the most part. With that being said, I'm certain there are at least a few stragglers on both sides, so definitely do your homework on any potential builder/sub. Hope this helps! Good luck!

I think the "clarity" and "focus" is the reason that nearly every religious tradition has some form of fasting: Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity. Honestly, I still need my cup of coffee, however! I'd have to ween myself off that slowly or I'd get terrific migraines. The worst "fasting" for me is one the rare occasions I've had surgery and you are not supposed to eat or drink beforehand. Last year I had a surgery that was scheduled for 9 a.m. but was then delayed until 2:00. Going without food was no problem; going without coffee was miserable. As I sat recovering afterward (just a 30 minute surgery) the first thing I asked for was the coffee!

Most of us have lots of experience purchasing tangible products (e.g., cars, stereos, TVs, furniture, clothing, etc.) and less experience purchasing services. When it comes to choosing a custom home builder you're choosing a service provider--not a product. So, think about how you choose other service providers: doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, car mechanics, tailors, dry cleaners, landscapers, etc. Our default mode is to fall back on criteria for selecting products: what kind of tile do you recommend? What kind of windows do you install? Do you use adhesive and nails when installing your subfloors? But such criteria won't get at the key issues. The first meeting shouldn't focus on specifics like I've listed above. Rather, it should be aimed at assessing whether a particular builder is a good fit for your needs. Your goal is to leave the first meeting with enough information for you to want to 1.) come back for more information or 2.) take the particular builder off the list of potential builders for your custom home. Ask open-ended questions. Ask about each builder's processes and controls during construction. How do they ensure you get the home you want in the time frame you want it and for the agreed upon cost? Ask to see samples of how they manage communications with clients, requests for changes, on-site meetings, construction scheduling, warranty service issues, etc. Ask about their experience building homes of similar style and size to what you want. Please don't show them your plans, do an "information dump" (I want granite counters and a tile backsplash, a free standing tub, yadda, yadda, yadda) and and ask them for a price to build it on your lot ("I'm not going to hold to this, but.... " That question takes a lot of time to answer and shouldn't be the key criterion for selecting your builder. Nor should you bother asking it of folks inappropriate for your needs. Best wishes for a successful project.