LOSING YOUR LIFESTYLE, but GAINING A NEW YOU! All change has some pain if it's going to be successful! You sound like you are on your way! I have learned to eat carrot stick (those small ones) when I want something crunchy instead of chips. Radishes too. Celry too. Celry and peanut butter. After awhile, you don't want the COST (mentally) of chips... I get a huge bag of almonds, lay some out in a brownie pan, freeze the rest, and bake them until done. I have some in a jar at my desk at work RIGHT NOW! No salt, no sugar...plain, baked almonds. I do eat DOVE DARK CHOCOLATE and sometimes I throw in some almonds. DARK Chocolate has good ingredients for you vs. milk chocolate. Sometimes I splurge and make chocolate mousse. It's worth all the sugary candy in the world! It has improved my palate so that I only want the good stuff now. Less costly in the long run, for my budget, and my diet. I EAT VEGGIES with some Velvetta cheese. Yup, I cheat a little, but it get's me eatin' steamed brocolli, caulifower and brussel sprouts. Do you know a handfull of baby carrots will keep angina away!! I eat NO SALT whole tomato's...I eat those first during a meal or have a cup of tomato juice to fill me up a little first. I make raw veggies and blend the Italian season w. olive oil. Somes I add some cooked whole wheat pasta with hot pepper flakes. I eat more apples now. Never liked them, but now I do. They are filling! I still love fudgesicles and try to fine ones with the least sugar. I do have some indulgences. I have to! But I always EAT CERTAIN FOODS FIRST. Before I can have a fudgesickle, I must eat something of protein or some veggie. I love a good hamburger and buy only lean meat. In another email I told you how I eat more fish. For superbowl weekend, I'll probably be watching LIFETIME or something else, but I'll have my good munchies and crunchies. Ooowww, shrimp sounds good! If anything, the next day, you can ask, WHAT DID I DO TO BETTER MY LIFESTYLE OF EATING BETTER...and you feel soooo good! That has kept me going. Knowing that I CAN do this and I can do this with a new attitude about eating. You will be gaining so much! You need to think of all this junk food in they way your heart would look at it.... "potato chips...Oh, MY, all that FAT and empty calories", "Candy bars...gee all that WAX and hydrogenated oils"... "Store bought cookies...sugar, empty calories, and hydrogenated oils".... "Greasy hambuger...oh, please get the LEAN beef next time....you're cloggin' my arteries!" TAKE YOUR HEART WITH YOU IN YOUR HEAD EVERYTIME YOU BUY OR EAT SOMETHING! Ask her, "WHAT do you prefer?" You are on the road to a new and happier life! Good Luck, June Lynn

Hi Kmttsmom, Thank you for being kind. I'm really not trying to get a reaction or hurt anyone and I think I've stated it over and over, but it bears repeating. :) I'm hurt too, and confused at how my estrangement got to the point it did. Years and years of misunderstanding, letting things go when they really should have been talked out then, not feeling like I could say anything because it would be taken the wrong way. So I'm just trying to understand it from a mother's point of view. And it seems like a lot of mothers are defensive (that's ok, they have a right to be, but then they take it as I'm attacking) and words like "spoiled brat" come into the picture. I'm not, nor was I ever, a spoiled brat. I was raised one of the least spoiled people you would ever meet. No electricity, no television, catchment water, no neighbors. No Christmas tree, very few presents for my birthday. My mother never bought me a car, paid for insurance, college, rent, bills, etc. I had to give away my toys to more needy kids time and again. We recycled everything. I moved out at 14 to live with my dad because of her emotional abuse, and I lived pretty much on my own because he had to work 150 miles away and would be gone for days at a time. I walked to school a few miles away and walked home, did my homework, made myself dinner, and went to bed. And I forgave her in high school. I was able to put it all behind me and move forward. And I included her in my daughter's birth. And when she needed a place to live, I let her move in with me. And then I realized she was an energy vampire. She literally sucked me dry, blamed me for everything, took my friends and started to turn my daughter against me. And she walked all over me. Time and again. So, my defenses go up too, when mothers just say that kids just need to respect their parents, and "get over it". It's a very emotionally charged situation. I didn't come on here for support, I came on here to learn what others think. So I think part of the conflict is our approach to what we expect from this board. I'm shocked at being told to go away, that my opinion is not wanted or needed or valued because I don't agree and I'm asking questions. It seems it's either one way or the highway. And when I apply this to what women here are saying about their damaged relationships the correlation seems too blatant to ignore. I don't think anyone here is a "Bad Mother". The fact that people are even talking about it indicates that they are truly trying to be good people. I'm sure everyone on here has their good and bad moments, and it can be hard to judge emotion when it's in writing, without any facial gestures or other non-verbal clues. I guess this isn't the place for me to be asking my questions because it is seen as an attack, and I felt just terrible the past few days, because I feel bad that people are taking my words that way, and now I feel attacked too. Thank you again, for your very clear, from the heart post. I do wish you the best in your situation. No one should have to feel like this. ~Silver

Welcome from the Shenandoah Valley of northwestern Virginia! So glad you have joined us. Your princess quilt is adorable. I recently did a princess quilt--they are a lot of fun.

Thanks for the welcome! I immediately went to check the soil pep when I read your comment. Luckily I didn't see any thing of what you describe, but I think I will screen it before making a big batch just in case. Thanks for the heads up! Also, the worm castings I am using is not what you see at the big box stores in the bag. This is literally 100% pure worm droppings with zero added compost or anything else. It's literally only a couple tablespoons per gallon. I'll attempt to post a picture of the bag from my phone. Therefore I'm still considering using peat in the mix. If anything, maybe I'll cut the compost ratio down to .5 making it a 3:1:1:.5 mixture. Will see.