Just saw this...thanks for your kind words, mommielady. No resolution yet, but only because our dear electrician had to cancel his appointment to redo the splices because: He had a 1000-pound roll of something at a commercial job *roll onto his foot* and crush his foot! He called and said "I don't think it would be too good to be down on the floor with my foot tucked under me right now--I'll get to you as soon as I can"...poor man!! Told him not to worry about us at all. I'm imagining that he escaped relatively lucky, as a 1000-lb anything could have crushed *him* outright... He's the sole breadwinner for his family--and they homeschool, like we do. Thank goodness he's union and it happened at work, etc...he'll have job security, workers' comp and good coverage. But the poor guy... So we'll have to wait a bit longer for resolution on this issue. On the bright side: if I get my nerve up, when I'm finished grouting the third accent column, in which I mixed some slices of Oregon rocks that our family has found (including fossils and petrified wood, among quartz and jasper and agate) along with the purchased onyx-on-mesh, I'll photo that and maybe ask a forum friend to post it for me, since I still don't have a photo account. It really completes the room, IMO -- the idea of threes, like in landscaping, held true once more. A bright (although still stressful--grouting freeform edge next to an already-installed medicine cabinet and door molding? WHY do I make things so hard for myself?!) spot in all this. kgwlisa, I'd forgotten that you're gestating! Hard to remember that all that Really Matters is the little helpless one :), but it's so true...and re timeframes: why do I think that kgwlisa II will be here before we have warm floors? Hope *you* have a bathroom on your floor before her/his arrival. cognuggets, sorry to hear about the thermostat not being the problem.

I had a bunch of credit cards opened in my name some years ago. I had rental property and had a Centruy 21 agent manage it for me. Apparently, since the mortgage statement went to that office, so did a bunch of those free offers for credit cards. The receptionist opened the accounts got the cards, and just kept paying the minimum payments on the cards. It went on for over a year and was only discovered when she went away on her honeymoon and my agent started opening the mail with my name on it--a bunch of Visa bills with over $20,000 total charges! This girl had charged her whole wedding and honeymoon in my name! The hardest part was cancelling the cards--when I called Visa they wouldn't believe I was me because the girl had given them _her_ mother's maiden name, information of course that I could not supply! It was pretty stupid, really, she thought she would never be caught, said she every intention of paying off the cards eventually. Stupid criminal. Stupid credit card companies. We all paid for that one. And yes, I do check my credit report now!

Be careful about offering relish, pickles, salsas, chow-chows, chutney, and other acidified foods - I recommend that you do not until you find out the rules and plan to follow them. The FDA has very strict laws about them being produced in a home kitchen (as well as commercially - the same rules apply) and they have to be made under the supervision of one who has taken the FDA course for acid and acidified food manufacturing, has each product listed with them (usually after having a Food Safety Lab testing done), along with their "food manufacturing facility" being registered with them, and that has a written plan for national recall in the event of contamination or botulism in their acidified product. I know a lot of little old ladies sell their brined pickles at farm stands and Markets but they are usually totally illegal. On the other hand, fermented pickles are not regulated and can be sold without any FDA involvement. Go figure. Also, nothing canned using a home pressure canner is allowed to be sold in the US. Most jams and jellies are fine as there is no risk of botulism because of the sugar content and naturally occurring acid in fruits (low pH). I've been selling at Market for 5 years now. I expanded my 65 varieties of jam offerings with old fashioned baked goods and then added gluten free baked goods. If you go GF you must be so very careful about cross contamination with wheat flour (which can hang microscopically in the air for days and can stay in the "pores" of metal baking pans even after washing). I am the only "retail bakery" in NC to have approval by the NC Dept of Ag to offer both wheat based and gluten free products from the same "facility". Think of gluten as being a deadly virus and that is how you must treat baking gluten free, it is not just substituting wheat flour for another non-gluten flour. For both baked goods offerings the things that sell best are cookies to walk around with to eat, but not by the dozen, and breads/rolls of any kind to take home, and scones. Cupcakes and pies never sell no matter how pretty, slices of cake don't either unless they are pound cake or angel food. Even candy sits there though people comment, "Oh, look there's fudge", they don't buy it. Don't bother with fancy packaging but do be mindful of labeling, display of prices, and you must have a list of ingredients either on each product or on a paper they can take with them. Another guarantee is that diabetics will always come to your sweets table. Since I do not use chemicals in my products, I do not have anything they can eat. If you want to appease them you'll have to do a whole lot of research for cals and carbs. Nancy

I have gotten a lot from this forum, as well. It's funny to me that sprinkles says all people want to do is gripe and not change things. I have found the opposite, that 99% of the time people offer advice and workable solutions. Sometimes they ARE no solutions but then I have been given advice on how to cope. My situation has similarities to many other posters on here, and differences, as well. I started dating my DH in February of 2004. We moved in together after about 3 years and we got married in September last year. Even though I officially became a SM in the fall of 2008, I had lived with DH and been in the "role" of SM for 2.5 yrs, or something like that. BM has always been difficult. She is an alcoholic ( in our opinion, though she would never admit it.) and I do fault DH for not documenting things and pursuing his legal options sooner. They always excercised a 50-50 custody situation but never had anything court-ordered until about 18 months ago. DH and BM have joint legal and physical custody per the parenting plan now. Things have gotten progressively worse with BM, her drinking and her lifestyle growing more and more unstable. "In court papers, BM said "Ima is the driving force" when DH asked for child support. That is her attitude... if it weren't for me, there would be no problems" I can so relate to this. BM has always put SS in the middle of things and she does blame me for the way things are. She told him last summer in the midst of the court battle that DH and I were trying to take him away from her--not true, btw. The odd thing about BM--and this is a way I cannot relate to Ima or Pseudo---is that she would never "ditch" her son. She really does love SS and she has never been the type of mom to be absent. I think she resents DH for having SS half the time, and she really resents me for being in a parenting role to him. It's strange to me, though, because you would think she would WANT me to love him and she would WANT him to be happy with me and to have a close bond with me. NOT AT ALL. She is so threatened by me and my relationship with SS----and I think DH, too. For years, she has done so many things to sabotage my relationship with SS, from telling him that I wanted to have her arrrested to telling him he didn't have to listen to me b/c I wasn't his mom to telling him that his dad loves me and DD more, etc. Terrible things that no child should hear. All those things have colored my relationship with SS to a certain extent. I feel he has always viewed me through suspicious eyes, like one half of him believes what his mom says, but the other half doesn't. Things got really bad this last year---BM first withheld custody from DH for 3 weeks and it took an emergency court hearing for DH to get him back. (This was in July of 2008.) Then a massive court battle ensued over whose school district SS would attend. He had attended a private school for kindergarten, which my DH paid for completely. Then BM enrolled him in HER district for 1st grade, without DH's consent or even knowledge until after the fact. In December of 2008, DH won residential custody for schooling purposes and it was entered into the paretning plan that SS would attend our district starting in August of 2009---now. We were ELATED and thought the battle was over. Then BM's drinking spiraled out of control. The final straw was when she didn't get SS off the bus this past April---she called DH from a bar, drunk, at 3 pm and said she was too drunk to get him and could he or I go get him. I picked SS up from the busstop and took him home to our house. 5-6 pm BM showed up drunk at our house, wanting to "talk" to SS. Against my WAY better judgement, I let her inside. that was MY mistake. In hindsight, I should of told her no and called the police right off the bat. I didn't, ironically, for fear of causing a scene. The scene that ultimately ensued was WAY worse than I ever imagined. BM stayed for an hour to two hours---I let her sit in my kitchen and cry and I listened and offered advice and support. I finallly told her she had to leave,as it was bathtime for the kids and that was when she wanted to take SS with her. I told her NO WAY, she was too drunk---and she went to say goodbye to him. He was understandably reallu upset to see his mom in such sad shape and he went under his blanket on his bed, and started mumbling to her about how I "beat him and spank him all the time." NOT TRUE. I don't even know where he learned the word "beat" as it is certainly not a word in our vocabulary. My DD would not know that word in that context. Anyway, BM was drunk and irrational and became quite enraged at me and I told her she needed to get out NOW. She took SS with her out to her car and I told her I would call 911 if she attemepted to leave with him. Long story short, she did, I called 911 in front of her and she punched me, yelled at me, came at me---all of this in front of a hysterical SS. I tried to get him away from her and she came at me again, and I ended up having to lock myself inside the house with her trying to get in--I slammed the door in her face just as she tried to shove her way back in. She was taken to jail--not arrrested---taken to jail and her DH had to come pick her up. Back to court we went. I was given a year-long order of protection against BM. Bm had to sign documents saying she is not to consume alcohol 4 hrs prior to or during custody of her son. If she does so, it is a violation of the parenting plan, we can call the police and it gives DH grounds to modify the plan for full custody. In the middle of all this, BM called the police on me and CPS and said I abused SS and he had a bruise on his wrist from me. Well, there was NO bruise and SS himself even said to the CPS worker that I didn't do it but his mom said I did. SIGH. I feel like I am always looking over my shoulder and wondering what will happen next with this woman. We recently found out BM has another order of protection pending on her now. Her SD's mother has filed an order of protection on behalf of her daughter. BM is a volatile and sometiems scary alcoholic. I don't trust her for a second. What I have learned from this forum is that I have a right AND an obligation to protect myself and my DD from her. I unfortunately cannot change the fact that she is SS's mother and all I can do for him is protect him when he's with us and pray that DH and I can counter-act her enough. I cannot control my DH or his reactions to BM. He often deals with her in ways I don't agree with, and I have come to the conclusion, from all the advice I've gotten on here, that I have to do what feels right to me in setting boundaries and protecting my child, myself and our home. My main issues have not been with SS (although i've had some, but funny enough, all the drama has actually BETTERED our relationsip) but have been with DH. This stress has taken a HUGE toll on our marriage and there have been many times i've questioned EVERYTHING and contemplated leaving. I still do at times. I have gotten GREAT emotional support and advice regarding all that on here.