Ok, that should read "Gardenseque Wildflower planting", like I said, my head is really spinning...

As you can see from my name, I am NOT anywhere near you and cannot make recommendations for Illinois. However, I am sure there is a state native plant group to help...or lots of folks on this web who are closer to you. I did want to point out to your wife that, if we have no bees, we have no fruits, veggies, etc., as many of our favorite things are pollinated by bees. I am not a fan of bats or beetles, either, but I know that they have a place in the pollination of many plants. Oh, and my favorite plant, trilliums, are helped along by ants, nobody's favorite critter. Anyway, congratulations on being interested in natives, and if nobody finds you some websites or info for your locality, write me directly, and I will try to help.

First of all, decide if you are going to be planting trees, shrubs or perennials (or some of all 3). That might help narrow your scope (especially if you feel, for example, that you have enough trees in that area and you didn't plan to use any).

Second, whether a plant is native or not has no bearing on it's ability to attract bees/wasps/critters compared to non-native plants. It is flowers period that attract bees.

Here is a link to the Illinois Native Plant Society; do check out their site, you might find some great resources. People here are always willing to help too. Welcome!

Here is a link that might be useful: Illinois Native Plant Society

I guess in my case its a catch -22 as my wife wants something very flowery yet doesnt want the bees that get attracted to it.Guess she has to put up with the bees.
I am less worried about bees and more about attraction of wildlife(bats,snakes? etc) to the wildflowers..The neighbor has a children playhouse right next to the side fence border,
and so I dont want to be the subject of any complaints to the HOA...

Anything that flowers will attract bees... bees are more likely to harm (sting) a child than anything bats or snakes would do?

A few suggestions for a fence line, you want to plant tall stuff that can tolerate shade up against the fence. And then you want to plant a series of shorter plants in front of those.

You can take native plants and plant them in clumps to form a more organized, landscaped look. No one would complain.

For tall shade tolerant plants along the fence line, I would suggest cupplant(silphinium perfoliatum), ironweed (vernonia fasciculata), joepyeweed (eupatorium maculatum), culversroot (veronicastrum virginicum), new england aster (aster novae angliae) and I would add clumps of indian grass(sorghastrum nutans), for filler in the tall area. (Maybe some red milkweed (asclepias incarnata), if you have moist soil.)

For medium height plants in front of the tall plants I would suggest purple coneflowers (echinacea purpurea), white snakeroot (Eupatorium rugosum), big leaf aster (aster macrophllus), bergamot (monarda fistulosa), coreopsis, penstamen, and for filler in this area I would add a few clumps of little blue stem (schizachyrium scoparium).

And if you have room, in front of the medium height plants I would put in even shorter plants like dolls eyes, (actaea alba), wild geraniums (geranium maculatum), columbines (Aquilegia canadensis) and maybe some native ferns.

Its just creating a tiered landscaped look in front of the fence, using native plants.

If you are already shady then you probably don't want to add a tree, but you may want to consider a shrub or an understory tree. A redbud tree, a serviceberry tree or a pagada dogwood are native small trees commonly used in landscapes.

Unless bees happen to swarm in your yard, I, for one, would not be at all concerned. I would worry about ground hornets. they can be nasty.

I like the tiered approach.I will indiviudally checkout each of the plants you mentioned. I have to compromise a little bit, since as Waplummer mentioned, I have to be more worried about ground hornets and wasps and yellow jackets than bees I guess.Is there a way I can have best of both worlds, ie have flowers yet not attract wasps,yellow jackets etc, ie can I be selective in what I plant so that I attract only certain beneficial ones and not others...

Ground hornets and yellow jackets are going to nest wherever they deem it appropriate. I don't think there is anything you can do to prevent them, just learn how to recognize them. For example, if you see yellow jackets flying low to the ground, stop and observe them. They may just be solo, looking for water. But if you see more than one, look to see where they are going. If they go into a hole in the ground, that's a nest. Yellow jackets build new nests in late summer/fall.

No need to be paranoid. I have 2 acres and I see about 1-2 nests per year.

I don't know of any list that says here are flowers if you don't want bees/wasps. Perhaps others have ideas about that.

Generally the bees that I see on my flowers are bumble bees or honey bees. Wasps and hornets typically eat other insects, I do see them on occasion, but they are not attracted to the flowers.

I would plant perennial flowers in relatively large groups. This will create a simple, easily-maintained, very impressive-looking garden. 60 by 4 is a nice long border to work with. I would select about 4 types of plants, plant about 8 feet by 4 feet of each, giving you enough space for about two groups of each plant. Alternate the plants so that you spread out the color. Not all the plants will bloom at the same time, so alternating plants will create color all through the bed all summer. I would select native perennials that are easy to grow and that spread. You'll hear a lot of complaints about plants that are invasive in the garden (not the same as invasive in wild areas) but I wouldn't worry too much about that. It is a lot easier to have a plant that grows vigorously and you have to pull some out each year than it is to have a plant that grows very slowly and you have to explain why the bed isn't filled in after two or three years.

Plants that attract hummingbirds generally do not attract bees or other insects, so my list has a couple of hummingbird plants.

My plant list would include:

Bee Balm (Monarda Didyma). Select a red cultivar, and "Jacob Kline" is probably the one you want. This is a striking plant that blooms all summer. You'll want to plant 1 plant per 2 feet at a minimum, or one per foot of bed for a fuller bed next summer. This one will spread to fill its space by the end of next year or maybe the following year.

Eastern Columbine - Aquilegia canadensis. This blooms in APril thru June, a time when many other perennials aren't blooming. Plant at least one plant per foot in two parallel rows, one row a foot from the back of the bed and one a foot from the front, both rows parallel to the long axis of the bed (hope that makes sense) stagger the plants in the front and back rows. This spreads only by seed, so it will take a couple of years to fill in.

New England Aster - Aster novae englae. This is a striking purple flower of late autumn. Spreads slowly. You'll want one plant per 18 inches of bed for a full bed next year.

For the final plant I'd consider a milkweed. If you have decent amount of sun try butterflyweed - asclepias tuberosa. With more shade try common milkweed. Any milkweed will attract monarch butterflies, and kids should have interesting bugs like monarchs to see in the yard.