RULE # 1...

Do NOT ask for any plants for FREE....(Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's stuff)

jill

Ken,
I love this one ..every year it gets more and more realistic as someone will cross the line and it gets added to the list...

DEnny

RULE #2

No touchy! Thou shalt not pinch, prune, harvest, deflower or otherwise fold, spindle or mutilate thy neighbor's plants, no matter how good your intentions.

RULE #3

Bet you have a weed or two, as well. Thou shalt not weed thy neighbor's garden lest you make thy neighbor feel self-conscious. (This one's debatable. If you weed in my yard, I'll probably just put you to work.)

I just had a call yesterday from a "friend" who thought she would like some of my yellow violets....well, ok, I have thousands of them. Then it got down to the Japanese anemones, and the bletillas, which she REALLY wanted in the first place......I think not. She'll get some of the violets. "Just not ready to divide the others, honey". She wanted to trade me something........welll she better come up with something really good! She knows she doesn't have anything I don't already have!

Then I got a call from another friend who wanted
to see the garden.....he wants to bring me a plant he thought I would enjoy, just for getting the "garden tour" and the conversation. Those are the kinds of visitors I love to see!

Rule # 4 do NOT step into my flower beds if there is not a stepping stone or path. If you can't see the label on that plant, ASK me.

I won't have to worry about visitors for a while. We got another 9" of snow Tuesday night.

Prior to the fresh snowfall I saw vole tracks everywhere. I wonder how many hostas were eaten over this incredibly long winter?

I've always loved the garden rules Ken - thanks for posting it again!

Teresa

yeah .. it is hard for peeps to being me something i dont have .... but again.. ITS THE OFFER that really matters ... but i am very gracious if they do bring it ... they usually spot it sooner or later ... lol ... or if its an all day visit.. the full experience.. they can buy the pizza for lunch.. so i dont have to stop to feed the crumb-munchers .... [i think thats what heyj did ...plus plants ]

usually.. i ask them to bring some goodie for the kids.. stop at the bakery or something like that ...

ken

Here are the (already published) rules from Ken's link:

********************************************************* Garden Etiquette

1. I did NOT invite you over to use my bathrom ... SO DO NOT ASK .... because i cleaned the garden for your visit, not the house... take care of this before you get here ... though obviously emergencies occur ...and dont stop at micky dee's to take care of it and then buy the 200 ounce pop because it is hot out there .... and then 2 hours later have to use the bathroom .... i will provide you with enough liquids to survive .... perhaps a tablespoon at a time ...

2. DO NOT walk in my garden beds, unless you have permission.

3. IGNORE the idiot dog, when standing near my beds .... to watch you turn him into a frothing love hound and rip up my labels and plants is truly disheartening ... we have the the middle of the lawn for that ...

4. Either bring a gift .... LIKE A HOSTA .. or any perennial .... or send a thank you note ... i did a lot of work for your visit ... and i want some afterglow ... a note a few days later .. usually gets you another invite w/o question ... and probably a hosta next time ... nothing pricey ... it is the gesture ... not the value ...

5. Leash your children if they are a problem [though they are usually not the children of hosta nuts ... these children have been taught the proper priorities] ... or bring something that will entertain them ... and dont rely on my dog to be the entertainment ... he is an idiot ... see above ....

6. Leash your uninterested significant other ... or insure they bring something to entertain themselves ... or better yet .. leave the uninterested at home ... i hate cutting short a tour with someone who is truly interested because they are distracted by someone else ... and suggest to them that if they have nothing nice to say ... they need not say anything ...

7. Do NOT resort to platitudes in describing the beauties before you. Also, PLEASE do NOT tell me how so-and-so's plants are doing better than mine, for whatever reason.

8. be on time .... i have waited and worked like a dog anticipating your visit .. have some respect ... and calling is not sufficient, because i will be out there an hour ahead sprucing up the garden waiting for you .... and i wont be near the phone ..... i will NOT be upset if there was an emergency ...

9. DO NOT try to surreptitiously purloin a piece of ANYTHING (with that plastic spoon hidden in your pocket) without asking my permission. If you ask nicely, I MAY give it to you-but on my terms.

10. if you can grow one better than me .... be prepared to discuss all variables in your success so that i may figure out what you are doing right that i am not

11. Amendment to #1 with relationship to #5 and #6. If you are going to stop at McDonalds on the way to my garden, leave the uninterested spouse and children there. We will all be happier that way.

12. Do NOT pull the plant marker out of the ground to read it easier, and if you must pull it out, PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM.

13. FEEL FREE TO PULL WEEDS .... IF YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ... I WILL BE GLAD TO PROVIDE ANY TOOLS OR SUPPLIES TO ENCOURAGE SUCH ... IF YOU ARE WILLING TO COME BACK TO WEED .. I WILL PAY YOU IN HOSTA ...

14. if you want the label in the picture .. i will gladly do it for you, and put it back where i want it ... they are placed in a certain manner .. so me and the dog know where to walk when you arent here ... moving them can lead to bloody feet for one or the other of us ... and so i know where the dormant plants are in spring ...

15. Never ask to trade me two undulata's for a plant I just gave my left arm and two grandchildren for.

16. Don't ever ask in front of my spouse "Whad'ya give for that one?"

17. No, that one will never be big enough to divide up and give away. If you really like it, I will tell you where to BUY it.

18. Yes, I am sure you would like some plants to get started since they are so expensive. I know, I because I bought most of mine.

19. No, That one won't get any bigger with more light and fertilizer, it is a mini....we like em' that size!

20. Yes, this is a lot of work and takes alot of time, but it keeps me out of the bars.... and I don't get a hangover from it....Occasionally slugs can be a headache, though.

21. Addendum to #1. I did NOT even invite you. You were here when I got home from work and said you didn't think I would mind, since you are related to so and so downtown, and they know me. I DO mind.

22. Addendum to #3. Leave YOUR idiot dog home. Don't tie a beagle on a 6 ft. lead to my gazebo to destroy my Blue Mammoth Hosta while you are on the other side of the house and your dog is going nuts because you just disappeared from his view!!

23. If you don't know a thing at all about Hosta, don't ask for an invite, and then view my Liberty Hosta, which was 6 eyes last year, and say.."Well, I have that one--but mine's huge!!"

24. Do NOT tell me what I "should" OR "shouldn't" do or plant. I love talking about my gardens when someone says "have you ever thought about..." because it's interesting to share ideas and experience. However, I garden for my own pleasure and appeal, so I don't really care if you find something not to your liking. And please don't ever say: You should plant some marigolds. (No, I should not...they don't happen to be a favorite of mine and your barrelful is utterly boring.) You should run those bricks farther down. (No, I want it to transition into a woodland path at this point and you don't even have a garden path, so just go sit down some place and get out of my sight for a while.) You should try some of that colored mulch...really brights up the place. (Are you crazy?...I've seen your yard)

25. And DON'T waste my precious TIME, having to explain the history of each and every HOSTA to YOU, only to tell ME that they LOOK ALL ALIKE.

If I ever make it to Michigan, Ken, I'm bringing a box full of cannolis.

Either that or a little maple tree as a gift plant. Remember it's the thought that counts. :)

Ken, make sure to have your blood pressure checked, often. I can speak to this as I have the same tendency.

I will concur regarding dogs and stepping into beds instead of following paths, so someday I'll add 'Please stay on pathways underneath the admonition on our sign that says 'No Dogs Please'.

Please is the key.

My other aggravation is timing. I try to reel up all the hoses, and tuck away other extraneous tools, even brew up some herbal tea and/or ice water with lemon. I also time my personal food/drink consumption. I simply cannot believe how often guests are WAY late (or as bad, early). Punctuality goes a long way in my book.

Did I mention blood pressure issues, teehee?

hh
Don't give an RA about gifts, though I love to give them.

From a nursery owner's perspective.
1) Do not sneer. You would not curl your lip when you visit someone else's garden; do not do so at mine. This may be a public nursery, but I'm still a gardener. And gardening is neither a contact sport, nor a competition.
2) Do not tell me how many more hosta varieties you grow than I do. Do not stand in my driveway and announce airily that you have everything that I do. It's not true and it is not the point.
3) Do not tell me how much less you paid for those hosta than I charge. I don't believe you. I know how much it costs to bring these babies in. I also know roughly what other nurseries charge.
4) Stop telling me that such and such and so and so is misidentified. It is not.
5) Do not step into the gardens. Leave the labels where they are - you may not have a label just because you want to remember the name of that hosta and hope you can find it more cheaply elsewhere. Please stay on the paths. That's why they are there.
6) Stop complaining. Stop bragging. Stop telling me you only buy hosta at - you fill in the name of the trendy nursery here.
7) Stop dissing my competitors. It does not make me feel good to know that they are doing badly.
7) Do not talk down to me. I am dirty because I am working in the gardens, not because I am stupid.
8) By all means, discuss hosta. Tell me the ones you like; the ones that grow well and the ones that don't. That's just the kind of discussion that we gardeners enjoy. By all means recommend worthy varieties that you grow and I don't. Please do tell me about some of the fabulous gardens you have seen. Certainly I am interested in your great grandmother's best slug repellent recipe. You'd be surprised how much you teach me.
9) The gardens are here for you to enjoy. I like you to enjoy them. By all means, bring the kids. After many years in this business, I am still surprised at how much children like gardens, and at how many children like hosta. Let them run. I have never known a child to disturb any of my gardens (unlike their parents and their pets). I have never even seen a child step on the soil. But please keep all dogs leashed. And don't come before or after we are open. I am not very nice in the mornings and I'd like to spare you that.
10) No, I am not willing to trade a multi-eyed 'please insert name of recent, expensive variety' for a noid.
11) Never, ever remove a leaf or a flower from a plant to ask me what the name is. I would never do that in your gardens- it's astounding how many of you do it in mine.
12) If you shop at big box stores, do not expect me to supply the information or instructions on care that were not included in the sale price. If the box store cannot afford to include that information in the price of the product, how can I afford to supply it for free?
13) You are not required to bring a gift for me. This is a commercial operation. But you'd be surprised how much attention a simple compliment or thank you will garner.
14) I know you are a paid up member of the hosta society. I know you are much smarter than I am and know much more about growing plants than I do. I know you would be better at running a nursery than I am, if you only happened to be running a nursery. These things must be true, because you tell me often enough. Maybe I�m just a jaded nursery owner, but I find you so very, very rude.
15) Who are my suppliers? What is my soil mix? Where do I get my pots? What�s my markup? How much money do I make in a year? None of your damn business.
There. I just avoided an hour of work rehashing these complaints.

hey nina .... lol ...

15 ... why not talk about soil mix... or do you mean the brand name???

if i were to walk in.. and want to buy a giant sack of your potting media ... presumably at a markup from your wholesale price .. that would irritate you???

i only ask because i have done that ... and didnt think i was threading on thin ice ...

ken

I hate it when guests are early. HATE.

This is my fave...though it was hard to pick:

18. Yes, I am sure you would like some plants to get started since they are so expensive. I know, because I bought most of mine.

People who are real hosta addicts might forget one or two of these rules, can't help it. Would they be forgiven?

I must be lucky. I live in a neighborhood that has a lot of children. No one ever steps into my yard even though the entire front yard is all garden. Something is usually always in bloom yet nothing gets picked.

My secret? One large breed dog and 4 giant breed dogs that the entire neighborhood knows about but are rarely seen or heard. People are afraid that if they come into my yard they will be eaten.

I don't get requests for plants but I often try to get people to take some of my extras with them that I always have sitting around in pots.

Ken, we make our own soil mix. It is a blend of leaf mold, bark mix, pearlite/vermiculite, with small amounts of peat.
It would not irritate me if you walked in and offered to buy it.

TRUE Hostaholics tend to be a bit better about some rules than others....

But, #12 is definitely one that hostaholics tend to ignore...

I'm ok with #6, so long as my OWN #6 is home to keep YOUR #6 busy.

And I feel the need to add one:
#15a. "When you divide that one, I sure would like a piece of it." ... Please do not assume I plan to divide ANY of my hosta. And if I do, please do not assume I would GIVE them away for FREE (cash, garden tours and trades [in kind] are all acceptable forms of payment)!

I always love the rules.

The above rules I absolutely enforce & don't care how much of a witch people think I am:

"Leash your children if they are a problem...".

Paraphrased: "...they (labels) are placed in a certain manner...so i know where the dormant plants are in spring..."
That's no joke. When I say put them back in the SAME spot, I'm being literal.

Here are my own...more in a General Gardening topic:

You can borrow my car. You can use my washing machine until you get a new one. I'll watch your kids with nothing in return. Anything you need. I'm nice like that. No, you cannot borrow my lawn mower. You have too many weeds. Cross-contamination is real.

Your shrubs are fabulous. It's because they're 15 years old. I don't need or want your "secret" 10-10-10 fertilizer. My shrubs are 3 years old. It's not the dumb fertilizer. I'm not having this conversation again.

I don't have weeds in the beds because I get in there and Weed. With my hands and a hoe. Weed is a verb. I don't have recommendations for chemicals. I'm not holding back trade secrets. Another conversation I'm not having again.

Yes, I told you I was digging up/chopping/getting rid of ____. I've got plans for the space. If you want it, I'll dig it for you, and I'll do it now. Not next month. Not next spring. Take it or leave it. (Disclaimer: I'll hold or pot & tend for other gardener friends & family. I'm not that mean. Folks wanting free plants on their schedules get ultimatums.)

Gayle

Another of my rules: Don't tell me I need to pull those "weeds", those are not weeds, those are carefully protected and encouraged wildflowers! And don't tell me what to use to kill off the moss in my paths and lawn. I WANT my moss!

Besides, don't tell me about weeds. I've seen your garden!

I like what Rosemary Verey said: "Create a spectacular sight for the visitors to take their eyes off the weeds", and I always tell visitors that they are supposed to be looking at the flowers, not the weeds! If it's good enough for Rosemary Verey, it's good enough for me!

When on a busload type garden tour - find the host(s) and thank them for opening their gardens to us and a compliment or three as well.

Paul

aint that the truth paul ...

bus in 500 peeps .. and i get 3 notes back.. and these are professional hosta peeps ..

what in the heck did i invest hundreds of dollars and thousands of hours of work for..

so you cant even waste 44 cents to send a note..

pigs

ken