Hey Sheila, I've wanted to reply to your post for a while now, but I truly haven't come up with anything I think could possibly be comforting. We are now in the midst of our first season of culling, and also grappling with the same feelings. I have really had to wrestle with the logic of it all. Am I coldhearted? No, more so than when we bought meat exclusively from the grocer. Was I MORE cold hearted before, being ignorant and likely contributing to a meat industry and their sometimes reprehensible practices? Argueable. If i disassemble the process, which part(s) strikes a nerve? THe killing? The dressing? The eating? And why should I feel differently about meat i never "knew" from the grocer? Hardest for me is the feeling of betrayal. I'm amused at the human behaviors we engage in to comfort ourselves....how we are frozen with our kill, stroking it until the inevitable nerve twitching subsides because we can't bear that it should 'die alone', or how everyone gets extra grain after a a comrade goes to "freezer camp". These silly things are however, signals that we are different than say, the coyotes, which are far less benevolent. However idiotic, I am grateful for all the inner turmoil. Would I rather be like the coyote? and to that end, aren't I much more like the coyote in my attitude toward the meat I bring home from the store? A week or so ago, my co-worker asked if I didn't wish I could wiggle my nose and voila! All the birds would be dressed and cut and packaged and done! I think he was surprised when I very quietly and solemnly replied...'no'. It's hard, very hard, and I don't like it, but there's something very valuable about going through it too. I take from the experience a commitment to give our remaining animals the very best I'm capable of, a feeling of responsibilty I may not otherwise feel so deeply. And for the sacrificed lamb, this is the greatest lesson it can give to me, and the most important legacy it can leave for its fellow creatures in my care. All creatures must come, and must pass. When we take them without their permission, we are humbled. We pray they move to an elevated state after this life, (if they wish), and shine our gratefulness upon those that remain. I think the greatest means by which we can insult them is to waste their bodies and/or ignore their teachings. In the greater scheme of things, I think they would be content with that philosophy. I hope they are. In nature, they would still likely be eaten. Being a creature of higher consciousness (unlike the coyote) I can honor them with appreciation, or I can not. To me, coldheartedness is about THAT choice. I have no idea if this rant helps or not, but i definitely know what you're going through. Hang in there and keep trying to sort it out. It takes courage for the thinking person. Congraulate yourself as being part of the inspired. LFRJ

It's not ideal but it's what I have to work with. I have two children ages 1 and 3. The only other South facing window is in the living room where they have access. So, until they get a bit older and understand not to touch, mess with or put my plants in their mouths, this will have to suffice. My husband wasn't happy about my plants taking over the office at first but I assured him that I wouldn't take up too much space and if he didn't let me bring them in they would die and we would have to spend $$ to get more. So, it saves him money HAHAHAHA. I think I've started to convert him though. When I've learned any interesting fact about one of my plants I always tell him and he actually told me last night he's 'kinda getting interested more'. HAHAHA

We listed the car at $8995 and we sold it for $7900. It has 95K miles on it and we were the second owners. It was the somewhat less desirable color combination - white w/ tan interior. There were a few problems: leak in t-tops or windshield, don't know which, so we didn't take it out in the rain! The a/c didn't work, probably needed to recharged, but sold the car as is, just in case. Cosmetically, the paint was kind of bubbled on one 5" section of the hood and seemed to be peeling off on part of the rear spoiler. Of course, we could have sold it for too little, and I never thought my husband would go for the first "low ball" offer, but he did and the deed is done. It's just a bit ironic that I am feeling a bit disappointed when "I got what I wanted" and the car is gone. And yes, hubby has the 50th anniversary edition convertible, so he is not sad at all!

The wyeberry is very similar to the bosenberry except slightly bigger, ripens early, about the same time as boysenberry. Very similar plants. It is in a pot too. The Marion you sent me produced a few berries this year, and wow, those are leagues ahead of anything I have. It is really an excellent berry! the plant grew like gangbusters with 3 or 4 ten foot canes. It is in a pot so I'm putting it in the garage. I also grew Columbia Star and thought is was just ok, not really that great at all. New Berry I added in a pot too, I will have berries next year. See how that one is. Scott liked it a lot. I had a taste of Tayberries this year. It is in a spot that is low and the canes keep dying back on me. Even with wilt stop. It tasted to me like a raspberry, I liked it, I have to find a way to make it work. Maybe in a pot in the garage too! I think i will dig it out this fall and transfer to a pot.