"Chick Magnet," Yes! That's me, as you all can tell by the photo above. I have been working out and have put on a couple of pounds, and the scrotching Texas sun has kept my tan up to par. But as Kurt said, it doesn't hurt to grow some bamboo for a little added help, that's why I like the big stuff.

An exquisite taste for fine clothing helps with picking up chicks also, that is why I am going shopping for some new duds at Pizza Hut tomorrow....one of the few places that I can shop for a new wardrobe, and get something to eat at the same time.

Kt

instead of hose water and any old fertilizer, if bamboo was feminine, it would require Miracle Grow and bottled water.

...and since Textilis is stated to, "...never have a bad hair day," then that too is another unfeminine trait.

Kt

Yes I agree about the manliness of bamboo because my other half says that only men would participate in such long winded discussion. Also she is the one who says no more bamboo in the yard. But the saying goes "There is always room for more bamboo" That statement originated from a manly bamboo man. Rich

Many bamboo are only interested in sex once every 100 years or so. That sounds like more of a feminine trait. On the other hand, dying right afterwards... Well, that's just perfect.

LOL! Maybe the whispering rustle of the bamboo (for the first 100 years) is bamboospeak for "Not tonight - I have a rhizome ache."

Thuja...definately the best argument set forth to this point!!!

BLAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh.....Mike that is the best.....

I think Thuja and Cady are on to something.

Any woman that can put off a man for 100 years is pretty proficient in her womanly ways.

Any man that literally dies afterwards is pretty manly.

That would seem to be a checkmate.

But perhaps the woman is only able to put the man off for 100 years is because he is deficient in the pheremone department. And the fact that he gets her to succumb at all, smelling as he does to her....

MALE! Bamboo is definitely male.

Don't you just love the male's brilliant powers of deduction? Not just in my post immediately, but also I was thinking about The House Of the Flying Daggers movie. I watched it last night.
See Mei play the "echo game". See Mei throw daggers. See Mei run thru the forest at top speed. Okay.
See Mei pour a glass of tea. Suddenly heads are vibrating back and forth at a nearly imperceptible rate as revelations dawn on the minds of men.

What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
-William Shakespeare,

Just FYI, to WS Man=people (not just male)

If Shakespeare had been truly even-handed about humanity, he would also have pointed out how this paragon of animals also belches, farts, picks its nose and toes, grows hair in unseemly places, has unsanitary habits and stinky feet. Traits which bamboo does not possess - thus putting it above and beyond the mundane issue of anthropomorphism 'n' gender.

Come to think of it, didn't he say something about "mewling and puking" too?

All I can say is that I hope this thread gets up to 100 posts pretty soon so that no more can be added to it!

Then some bozo will start "Is Bamboo the Manliest Plant on Earth? - Pt. 2." nyuk nyuk.

Speaking of picking things...
Does anyone else find sheath picking to be disturbingly fun?
I only go for the ones that are coming loose though.

"Hair in unseeemly places."
That reminds me, if it weren't for "Hair", the musical, I wouldn't even be able to quote this. Not that I've never read ol' Bill.

Here baby, there mama, everywhere daddy daddy....Hair. good tune. Sounds a little dirty which seems exactly right for this forum I serendipitously stumbled upon due to the exchange forum. I have bamboo, a man wants some of my bamboo, I have asked this man to help me enlarge my patch, we are going engage in a swap... Hmm, how does that fit in with the general tone of this thread?

Kudzu, the dreaded thread lives on!

Okie, I heard that the Soil Forum is dirtier than ours but that may just be vicious rumors. ;) Anyway, your message certainly fits this thread, elastic as it is.

Thuja-
I know. I've got my fingers in my ears, but it's not helping!

Kudzu, try saying loudly, "LALALALALA! I cant heaaaar you! LALALALALA!"
Okie, we should wash out your mouth with horticultural soap for that post. heehee

Better to talk dirty than to smell it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Dirt, the fragrance

Checked out the fragrance...some reviewer said he can't think of too many times he'd need to smell like dirt...I can't think of too many times when I don't smell like dirt. It makes the bugs in my hair feel at home. Besides, I like to have my outside reflect my inside. Piscean need for authenticity:)

Oh well, dirt by any other name would still smell as " crisp and green with mossy woody basenotes".

I think Thuja should speak for herself when she says being interested in sex only once every 100 years is more of a feminine trait!! I think Id rather die first than have to wait THAT LONG!!! (though necessity is the mother of invention they tell me)

Sue
'One thing all gardeners share in common is a belief in tomorrow"

Sue, I think Thuja was speaking from a "male's" point of view...being that his name is Mike.

Kt

It is possible that she is referring to bamboo that is unable to self-propigate and doesn't know how to communicate its individual preferences pertaining to sunlight, quality of soil and drainage? Might make it feel a little dirty (in a bad way).

Sue, if you did wait 100 years, you would die. Literally. Too long to go. Too long. I'm not a doctor (soon, very soon) but my personal recommendation is that you defy bamboo-onic stereotypes and give that leafy green feminine side exactly what it requires (especially if you are in your 30's).

p.s to Thuja, i've heard that the compost forum is pretty hot as well.

Argh! Now I'm going to have to rename myself something like "BooDaddy." :)

Bamboo sets seed on its own so in fact is both male and female. I guess in this way it appeals to both men and women, and probably hermaphrodites too.

ok Mike my sincerest apologies... i dont know why i assumed you were female... i hope i didnt offend you ... but i think you definitely need to meet some new females!! lol

so bamboo is bi-sexual then.. well at least its thoroughly contempory!!

Sue
"The one thing all gardeners share in common is a belief in tomorrow"

btw... ornamental grasses and hostas seem to attract many males as well. they just seem less frilly or something i guess.

Sue
"The one thing all gardeners share in common is a belief in tomorrow"

Sue, I think you're on to something with the "less frilly" thought. E.g., the TREES forum seems to attract many men too and trees are fairly down to earth. :)

Manly yes, but I like it too....

Are we talking about manly forums now, then? You should take time to visit the ToolShed Forum!

How did bamboo become something that sexist, egomaniacs decide they need to fight over. It's not the manliest plant because it is the California Redwood that takes that prize. Bamboo is perhaps the sexiest grass on earth but most people/losers think that it's a parasitic weed that needs to be eradicated. Sound like someone you know?

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned Amorphophallus titanum, the name of which alone should make it quite clear that this is the manliest plant in the plant kingdom.

Here is a link that might be useful: {{gwi:414592}}

Cady-
I'm also surprised that you didn't mention it apparently smells terrible...like a rotting carcass! And that it attracts fecal-loving insects! I wonder where that figures into the manliness discussion?

Kudzu, maybe the putrid stink goes with the perception too? I wonder what's the average frequency of baths taken by bamboo fanciers?

I don't know about bamboo fanciers, but I have heard that some people take baths everyday. Imagine that! I personally think that the daily bathers are mostly the upper class and the rich people. Saturday night comes around soon enough down here.

Kt

I hear WildBill bathes once a year whether he needs it or not! heehee

So that means he has only bathed once since he moved into his new home.

Kt

With water bills so high, I have to choose between watering my bamboo or bathing. WildBill is definitely more fastidious...

Why, Kudzu? You know you can have it both ways. Just go shower amongst your bamboos. Who knows, that might just about cause the T-T- girls to materialise. For those who bath less than once a month - no T_T_ girls for you!!

i just got back from vacation and know you guys are talking about jumbo voodoo lillies?? egads! that thing looks just like something straight out of that plant shop in the flick 'little shop of horrors'
i just acquired a standard sized voodoo lilly and due to the purported smell when blooming ... i intentionally planted on the side of my property that borders my crabby neighbor!! ssssshhhh!! dont tell him!!

speaking of irish spring soap lol heres another one:

dont get next to me... untill you get next to life buoy!!

Sue
"The one thing all gardeners share in common is a belief in tomorrow"

Every year I hope my bamboo will get bigger.

Man Like Big.

Sadly, it seems to have stalled out years ago.

Can't you just tell the growing season is coming to a close when threads like this get resurrected?

I thought I was the only one going stircrazy already...

I started growing some arrow inside (thanks Pat) and after about two weeks or so it is already shooting. Even though it is smaller, still satisfying.

I just read all 80 or so of these posts. Not sure how I missed it until now. Sure was fun, but I think it is now, officially, all played out. Or maybe it should have a smoke, and try again?

Or, a little blue....

fertilizer?

I just dragged in the khasia bamboo and all of the container 'boo that I want to keep as houseplants for the winter. Everything else gets a blanket of mulch. The khasia is showing its resentment by turning yellow and dropping leaves all over the sunroom. It throws the same tantrum every fall when I bring it inside, kicking and screaming (figuratively).

it is very manly

Well...