Shelley, Thanks so much for the answer. It's nice to know he has a chance...lol How big is yours?? I will probably have to move this one, as thinking it was an Alba I put it at the back of the bed right in front of the fence. Now I am seeing 1 to 1.5 feet for JC/MB.

I don't think you have much to worry about with the roots. The root systems of Asian maples are not particularly aggressive and like most trees, if they encounter an obstacle - the retaining wall - they will simply grow off to the side. To hasten the tree's 'drape' over the wall, I'd remove any staking ASAP. That will allow it to assume its natural cascading habit. And typically, one side of a weeping maple generally has a more pronounced weep or drape to it than the others, so I'd position the tree so that face is placed next to the wall. FWIW, I grew one of these from a 4" potted seedling as a container plant for many years. Aways had to have it on a raised pedestal as the branches extended far longer than the container height. When I moved houses/gardens, it was too big to easily transport the distance to my new place so I donated it to a friend's garden where it was planted in exactly the same situation you describe....cascading over the top of a block retaining wall, where it looks stunning. This selection also gets some of the best fall color of any Japanese maple I've ever encountered. You'll be very happy with it.

You are beyond stressed... aside from some of the excellent advice you have already gotten... I wonder have you had a girls night out since you have had Layla. After I had my daughter it was the best medicine in the world. (and I am a chick who generally hangs with the guys) A chance to decompress and just be me... not pregoo me swimming in hormones preparing for a baby... not tired new mommy me... not newly single mom balancing career me... just old fashioned out with the girls laughing without a care without men just L. I highly recommend it for any new mom. A good friend of mine is already looking forward to a girls night out and she still has two months before due date. It seems silly that one night out on the town can do so much but it eased sooo many things for me. It was like I was just going going going that I almost forgot the person I was. Even just dressing up without wearing business attire for work or jeans and t for home was a welcome change. That one night relaxed me, reminded me of me and allowed me to go back to being the chill person handling it all that I have always been. Ofcourse I didnt have another night out for probably about a year. But, I needed that night. My mom was the one who recommended it at the time. (such a smart woman) Aside from all of your worries and before you drive yourself crazy imagining all the stick thin fake breasted women your J could be talking to.... call up some girl friends dress up to the nines and take a breather... then take another look at everything and address each concern one at a time. Baby steps darlin'... first make you feel like you again... you know the hot sexy you musicians girlfriend you ;-)... who I seriously doubt would even be questioning wether he should be helping out more or not (given all of your advice to others I have seen on here)

Thank you gardengal-- you make some good points here, very helpful. Glad to know the Koto No Ito won't get bigger than 6'... and that you have had good experience with the Shishigashira fairly close to the house. Right now mine is so tiny that it seems it could never get to be 25' but I suppose I need to prepare for it just in case? Some of the ones that pop up under google images are huge! I'm not as concerned about space with the Viridis bc I can always prune that a little, and probably will anyway. But the ones that get tall make me nervous; it's not like I would want to hire someone to get up there and prune height, and I've heard that's not so good for the tree anyway? I'll keep the Golden Fullmoon in the pot for longer than the others, I imagine. Someday far far away from today when I've put a decent dent in the work right next to and around the house, I can start focusing on other areas, and find a better permanent home for him. Far far away : ) I took some pics today but it's a little embarrassing bc everything looks so yucky right now. We are in the process of getting the lawn looking better but as it was 80% weeds when we got here, it's going to take some time too. A reputable lawn service gave us an estimate for $1500/year and no, that's not in the budget for us. So I'm using this forum to walk me through some steps there too! And I couldn't get great angles for the photos bc there's huge red maple right smack in front of our front door. I love the tree but not necessarily where it's sited. Oh well. For reference, the hydrangeas were already here and I love them so it's all good there. We are removing all the grass on the inside of the sidewalk on the left side, soon-- meant to last fall but didn't get to it. Also last fall, I planted the DeGroot's Spire, and that short little thing on the right (I lost the tag for when I bought it a few years ago--think it was a Fernspray Gold Dwarf False Cypress?), and the Green Arrow Alaskan Cedar (sunniest spot right corner there). I also have here a freshly arrived mail-order Redbud Hazel --want to site that in a way to maybe hide the gas and electric box-- and 4 more dwarf conifers on the way. Everything I bought is still tiny though so it's going to look a little silly for the next few years regardless I guess. I don't mind though. I'll try to post progress pictures along the way. It's going to get better, little by little ; )