I've seen the Cowboy Junkies listed as favorite musical group on many, many, many a blog and they have been a regular fixture on college radio stations for a long, long time. They sure seem to have an underground following and that might not be a bad thing. Maybe they've decided they don't want to play the corporate music game, but at lease one of their albums was produced by Geffen. Perhaps because they're a band that's not easily pigeonholed and their music is so eclectic. Probably a marketing directors worst nightmare. What are they....they're blues, soft jazz, pop and country. And the name. They didn't start out as a country band, that music crept in later. I've mentioned before that I went to school with John Prine. He's not a household name but he's made himself a very successful career and has a big following without the flash and bling of say a Bob Dylan. I'm not sure if it's of his own design or that some exec decided he wasn't pretty enough or marketable enough, but that's the way it's played out.

I appreciate your post, because I've always had that 'dream' in my head, of living in the country, which I've never done and this is a reminder of the reality of how challenging it is. I don't know how you do it. I just wanted to share that we have a dog and it has not been a problem in the garden at all. This dog is not a digger at all, She enjoys the garden. I have a shrub border edged by grass on 2 sides of the back that she can wander through and look out the back post and rail fence at the next yard. And we have a 30ft mixed border with perennials that has a rock edge, that she was very easy to train to stay out of. She will chase squirrels when she sees them, and that has cut down on their mischief. So the right dog can be a workable solution and a joy as well. Maybe you have friends or family that might consider taking the dog when you go away? You might have to drive to them before your trip, but on the plus side, you might see them more often. :-) Maybe you have a friend with a dog that you could borrow for a weekend to test out how it would work out? We have never had outdoor cats, we have allergies in the family. But if I had rodent problems like you do, I would definitely get some cats right away. There are so many cats in shelters. But you might want to speak to someone about how you judge whether a cat is a good mouser. You said you have raised beds, I wonder if you added hardware cloth to the bottom of them? I would look into that. We just finished building new beds and added 1/4 inch hardware cloth to the bottom. I've been told that makes a big difference. I haven't had a lot of problems. I definitely have a mole in the yard, but not sure about the voles. So I did it as a precaution. It was expensive. I've also had it suggested to me to plant my bulbs in little baskets made of hardware cloth. On the Hosta forum, there was a suggestion to plant Hostas in wire wastebaskets that you can get at the dollar store. I've also seen people build chicken wire tops for their raised beds to keep animals out, although I haven't heard how successful that is. Good luck!

Shermann, It sounds like you've already made a good start by involving your daughter in the decision-making process. If the girls decide they don't want something that you'd like to get rid of, don't put it away for "later". It is your choice what stays and what goes. In 2004, I went through a very similar process to what you are dealing with as far as mother's things. My brother and I took a UHaul to mom's house and anything he didn't want, we loaded into that truck. I brought home a 27 foot box trailer loaded to the gills. We unloaded it all and I went through the stuff from the truck, replacing anything I wanted to in my house with the things that came from mom's house. Dishes, yes. Beds, no. Towels, yes. Tablecloths, no. Once I'd decided what I wanted, I put anything I didn't want in my carport and called family members to come take their pick. Kind of a free yardsale. If someone had already mentioned they wanted something specific and I didn't want it, then that person got first dibs. If they passed on it at that point, that item went out to the carport as well. (I live in Florida, and this was in the dry part of early summer, so no worries about rain.) I left everything on my carport for a month, which I felt was more than enough time for all of the family members to pick up anything they wanted. At the end of the month, I let everyone know that Goodwill was coming in 3 days to pick up anything still on the carport. After Goodwill picked up everything they could/would take, I donated the rest to a local Safe Space thrift store. The very last of it was 2 boxes, if I remember correctly. My mom was one of 17 kids, and all of them have at least one or two adult children and quite a few adult grandchildren, so there were a BUNCH of people going through the stuff on my carport. Four years later, I still find it cool when I walk into a cousin's house and see mom's curtains or mom's old kitchen bowls in use.

TIA, It's true about a situation being 95% of what we make of it and that's why I suggest you make the situation 95% to suit you! Stop trying to please SS! He does not want to be pleased & he will never like you. He's all about punishing you. Your the adult so take charge. Since SS is treating your home like an hotel and treating you worse than a slave servant. Tell your H the situation is causing unhappiness for you all & ask him to accommodate & visit with his son separately. or Hire a full time cleaning woman when SS is by you & have her also order takeout for him. She's to do only cleaning & takeout meal ordering. Absolutely NO cooking. No exceptions! Totally ignore SS. If none of the above is an option for you, I suggest you STOP catering to SS whims & STOP cleaning up after SS. Leave the mess as is and totally ignore him. If H complains about the mess. Offer to call in a cleaning woman to clean up the mess. Absolutely refuse to clean & or do anything for for SS. SS has made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that he does not want to be part of you & H's family. You can also tell H that while you understand that by marrying H, SS is part of the "package", BUT being mistreated & disrespected is NOT part of the "package"! Hopefully this helps. If not, you may have to walk away, because when a husband refuses to protect his own wife from mistreatment & or abuse, this sort of thing doesn't improve it just gets worse & WORSE!