Keeping things in perspective

15 years ago

Two weeks ago, then again at the beginning of the week my biggest weather concern was the peas. Today I've been grumpy because steady 40-50 mph winds with 60-75 mph gusts have kepts me from putting my tomatoes in the ground. On a lark I turned on the seldom used TV to discover that Oklahoma is alive with wild fires. One is just 12 miles west of me, moving east. With winds like this they can't use air support to put the fires out. They're trying to dig ditches ahead of the fires, but it's not working so well. I'm sure we'll be fine, but the fact is people all over my state are losing their property and their homes. Somehow frozen peas, unplanted tomatoes, and the 20 foot tree now stretched across my driveway don't seem so bad.

Seedmama, contemplating the fate of others, including the goldfish

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Comments (15)

seedmama
Original Author
15 years ago
So for a time this evening I've been contemplating our own fate. The fire is to my west, moving east. Roadblock barring entry to the west is a mere 1/2 mile from my house. Evacuation orders have come within 1 1/2 miles of my house. The fire is still a little further away. By city standards, this is far. By country standards, it's not far at all. The air is thick with smoke and homes are on fire. We have packed our bags and put a note on the front door telling firemen the doorbell doesn't always work. Won't sleep well waiting for a knock on the door. I've moved the tree so we can get out, and the sprinklers are on. If we have to go, I'll take the container count with me, but the containers will have to stay.
mnwsgal
15 years ago
I am hoping that the fire does not come to your home, seedmama, and you will not have to be evacuated. Amazing how quickly our lives and concerns can change.
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Keeping it in perspective
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Comments (35)
Diane, what we did with my dad and the tape recorder was not really easy to get started because he didn't understand what we wanted to know. But once we did get him started about old San Bernardino, he'd say something like 'the old park at Urbita Springs' and we'd just answer 'no, what was that?' and he'd be off and running. We got some amazing stories, like when the parks dept put up some immense concrete picnic tables with benches attached, at a little campground at Devore. Then the rains came, and they picked up those benches and hurtled them down, all the way across San Bernardino to the Santa Ana River, about 15 miles away! Anyone ever doubt the force of water? Yikes. It's a shame that you don't have anyone nearby who could try doing the same thing with your relatives. I know that if I'd tried getting any of mine to write stuff down in a book, it wouldn't have happened. All of our stories are verbal. Only the very old journals from the 1850s were written and preserved. Here's a little story from one of them that you might appreciate. This notation of the ocean crossing that shows the sort of observation they wrote down. It seems that there was a large and very whiny lady aboard with her son, and she was constantly complaining and asking "Sonny, get Mama this". Or "get Mama that". After a long confinement in pretty close quarters on a fairly small sailing ship, you can imagine the rest of the passengers were heartily sick of it. Then one day they ran into a bit of weather and some sizable swells. Apparently the ship lurched and Mama went flying backwards on the deck with her voluminous skirts up over her head. She wasn't hurt at all, but she screeched like a wet hen, and the other passengers couldn't help themselves. It was unforgivably rude of them, and particularly for that day and age, but they were tired of the trip and tired of her, and it was funny. They simply lost control and laughed. Somehow I doubt if she spoke to any of them for the rest of the voyage. Pat
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I think the book is written from a slightly "northerly" perspective in that respect. On the other hand, due to the close planting, and the shade often provided by bigger plants like (bush) beans, it is possible to plant and keep lettuce and spinach much later into the season than I ever did with a conventional garden. I found this to be quite helpful, as the otherwise "bad" shade from the beans allowed me to keep things growing well past the point where they would normally have bolted to uselessness even in a Maine summer.
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Comments (21)
Divorce is also an upsetting experence, Satine, and I found a number of friendships in Parents WIthout Partners following mine. One of my kids participated more than the other, but one of the good things that we found there was, as you mention, a sense of kinship with folks who've been through similar battles - some of us called it "instant acceptance", for many regular folks were unable to empathize strongly, not having "been there - done that". One of the things that we parents find it hard to do is to let go. Part of the business of growing up is the independence: we want to be independent, not tied to anyone's apron strings ... and why are we supprised that our kids want the same? Daughter and I were good friends after the divorce, when she was 6, and I felt that I should enjoy it while it lasted, but it has continued substantially like that through the years, though she has many interests on her own and has often lived at a distance. Something like your two who are currently part of your life, I expect. Son and I were rather distant for a time, but have become better friends for a number of years (he's enjoying the remainig few months of his being able to consider himself in his 40s). As our young ones set off on that journey of independence, we need to become more acclimatized to a similar distancing for ourselves. Perhaps some of the trauma might be mitigated if we, especially Moms of an earlier generation who'd been used to staying at home, develop other interests with which to fill our lives. If we can be part of a community, e.g. a faith one, or an interest- or community-based one, where there are others with similar interests, sometimes we can take become involved with other young ones during their growing years. Especially in our modern times, when many families live distant from their relatives, we can partly stand-in for uncles, aunts and grandparents whom they seldom see. When we lived in a foreign country, we used to act as surrogate aunts, uncles and grandparents for the young ones of other colleagues' families, in the midst of the young ones becoming acclimatized in the culture and society in which they were living. While we will always continue to be concerned for an estranged loved one, it is important that we realize that, in most cases, we've tried everything that we can think of to maintain the relationship and they have almost all been rejected. I've often heard it said that worrying is a fruitless enterprise: it can get us down, but doesn't accomplish anything. Better to transfer our interests and activities, one at a time, to things about and over which we can have some influence and control. To keep us otherwise occupied until the relationship can be at least somewhat restored with the one for whom we carry such concerns. Sorry if I'm coming across sort of like a know-it-all old grandfather ... ... berate me, if you feel that it's indicated! ole joyful
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not_a_contessa
15 years ago
Holy crap, that's really rough, I would not go to bed tonight, that fire is too close and you don't need to be breathing that smoke. Keep safe, I will pray for you and hopefully all will be well.

Mary
monipsych
15 years ago
Seed Mama, You'll be in my thoughts, and please keep us posted. I would be fearful as well, and not sleeping much. Hopefully the weather will break and help the firefighters get a handle on things. Monica
retiredprof
15 years ago
Seedmama: Where are you? All ok? Has anybody heard anything more? The fires are a top story on CNN this morning.

Prof
seedmama
Original Author
15 years ago
We're fine. Others are not. Varying reports regarding the fire next to me range from "100 structures lost" to "100 homes lost", which suggests some of the 100 could be barns and outbuildings. I know nothing of the other fires in Oklahoma, but I do know that high winds and drought are not acting in our favor. Thankfully, no lives lost.

Hubs asked me how I moved a tree with a 20 foot trunk out of the driveway. I honestly don't know. I would liken it to the urban legend about a grand piano being moved durig a fire, but I moved it before I knew how serious the situation was, so who knows?

We're being told not to get comfortable because there are still so many hot spots. The hope is that rain will come on Sunday and douse things well.

Thanks for all the kind and supportive energy.
PVick
15 years ago
Good to know that you are OK, seedmama. Hope it stays OK for you and yours. Have been following the news story this morning about these wildfires, and it sure is scary.

This is certainly a time when rain would be more than welcome -

PV
token28001
15 years ago
Good thoughts your way seedmama.
seedmama
Original Author
15 years ago
This morning I thought I was okay, and physically, we are. But knowing that someone did this intentionally is tearing me up.
When a tornado hits, it's terrible. Yet there is something different in knowing it was Mother Nature. How can one human being do something like this to another?

Here is a link that might be useful: News Coverage
mayberrygardener
15 years ago
seedmama,

My inlaws are in Oklahoma, and hubs grew up there, so we have been glued to the stories in the news. You have my sympathies--the not knowing if and/or when you gotta get out is so hard.

Colorado had some serious fires a couple years back--burned THOUSANDS of acres of old forest, homes, more. Come to find out that it was intentionally set by a firefighter that wanted some work; there were allegations of mental imbalance, but it still doesn't take away the hurt.

Please keep us posted as the weekend wears on, and know that you and all the people impacted are in my prayers. It sounds like you have the right perspective though; you really hold onto your loved ones, and we'll all do the same.
just1morehosta
15 years ago
Seedmama,
This is awful,We do not have cable,so we do not get CNN news,i had no idea things were this bad,12 miles is way to close to be to fire,i pray that you will be safe,life can take a twist so quickly,please keep up posted if you are able,we will all be thinking of you,and sending positive thoughts your way.
cAROL
seedmama
Original Author
15 years ago
We're still fine. There were lots of hot spots flaring up through Saturday. It rained all day Sunday. What a blessing. Now there's the not so simple matter of rebuilding lives for 100+ displaced families.
morz8 - Washington Coast
15 years ago
Seedmama - I'm glad you got the rain to cool things down. If I could have, I'd have sent you some of ours, we had 2" yesterday. On Easter. Sheesh.

Seriously, I really am glad you are fine, and that your property is undamaged. Living all my adult life in this part of the country, a fire this time of year is a stretch for my imagination but I did see the photos on television...I've never been to Oklahoma, but my dad was born in Butler.

Is your air clearing with the rain too? We've had forest fires close enough to get the benefit of the smoke...not fun at all, and so dirty if the wind is carrying any ash.
just1morehosta
15 years ago
Thank you seedmama for letting us know you are ok.I have thought of you so many times these last few days.What a blessing to be sure.
Yes, is is so sad the 100+ homes are gone,in the blink of an eye, we all have a lot to be thankful for.
cAROL
seedmama
Original Author
15 years ago
Right now we're focused on helping my husband's co-worker get work appropriate clothing. Folks are quick to respond with toys and children's clothing, but the bread winners need attention too. Focusing attention on this task helps divert energy away from the anger I feel toward those who started the fire.

Keeping things in perspective

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seedmama
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