Woo Hoo! I got my box from Suzi today! She sent: Watering can (I needed one. Mine seems to have disappeared - probably behind some plant) A cool linen calendar (2009) A decorative turtle (so cute) Hand rake Gloves (always love a new pair) A personal "N" note pad A hanging butterfly whose legs are like little bells that make a sweet twinkling sound when they bounce) A twirly thingy An iron girl with a welcome sign (all my colors:) A tulip bookmark A sweet card with a seed from her garden Gardening hand shears and elephant ear bulbs I had the best time going through everything. One more thing - a GRIT magazine all about gardening. I haven't seen one before and I can't wait to read it! THANK YOU for everything - I love it! I will post a positive on your rate and review later tonight. Nik

Hi - Sorry I haven't been posting much. A touch of winter gloom, I think. We had a nice little Christmas with 2 of our 4 daughters home. GD Marie was here, still not quite walking but doing absolutely everything but! She ate an amazing amount of pancakes this morning, then DD and husband bundled her off to his parents. They fly home tomorrow. Boy, the house was littered! Baby is in the container phase - put things in, take things out, etc. It was fun watching her open presents - she sure can do that efficiently! She's my perfect wintertime blossom. Marie Playing with Acorns I received a Night Blooming Cereus. With the cuttings Susan sent, it seems I suddenly have 5 Epis! I will be emailing you, Paul! Paul, I think everybody enjoyed your Secret Santa Swap! Jo - So glad to hear your husband's heart is safer now. Happy New Year and Birthday both, Shirley! I thought of you before, I remembered it after, does that count??? The lining for my new drapes came - again! The well pump went out and we had to spend mucho dinero to get it fixed, but our water pressure is up and we have our wonderful clear water again. That has been the best well!! The dryer of course broke down just when all the family was here, and baby needing a change of clothes all the time. DH fixed it. He got the railing up on the big loft room over the Big Room so Marie wouldn't fall off. That is one more house detail done! Jo - That crazy huge Helleborus foetidus you sent is preparing some enormous, bizarre, over the top blooming fit. A smaller one is doing a more modest show. And Harry Lauder is in bloom! Which is remarkable because DH nearly burned him to the ground when the rain got in his power plug to a string of lights and caught fire. Harry never looked so festive! But little damage was done. Such a busy holiday! Oh, and DD#@ arrived with almost no brakes on her car and a job to return to in MI in 2 days. Our good local mechanic, may he be blessed and rewarded!, fixed it THAT DAY!! Watching and worrying about everybody who is sick. Reaching out in my heart to sons and daughters overseas. Love to your old folks, too, as our parents now need all the love we can gather. Teensy hugs to Baby Schoedel! Bigger hugs to all the other kids. Happy New Year, the best to all of you! Barb

Ima! You gotta get busy, girl! Introspection is not an occupation for sad times; it'll get you bogged down every time, & that's when we make disastrous mistakes. *Obligate* yourself to do something; it's too easy to dwell on sad feelings & become immobilized if you don't "have to" do...whatever it is. When I went through a break-up many years ago, I decided to take Jazzercise. It worked great! as long as I wasn't moping when it was time for me to drive to the rec center. The only way I could make myself participate when I felt mopey (which is when we *most* need physical activity & other people) was to sign up to lead a Jazzercise class at church. I knew all those women were depending on me, & I went to every class. Please don't focus too much on your grandson's seeming lack of interest; he's very very young, & the young can move on much faster than we can. They have to, just to keep up with themselves, because they themselves are changing every day. Remember when you were a little girl & "back-to-school" shopping every September meant new dresses & shoes & a winter coat because the old ones were too little? I remember feeling sorry for my aunts & my mother because they stayed the same & never got a new dress or a new coat. Children shoot through time at warp speed, changing & adapting & getting "new clothes" as a matter of course, & we...keep climbing into the same clothes for a much longer time. & be careful that you don't talk to him because *you* need to talk. Talk to anybody else. Talk to everybody else. Talk here. Talk to the moon: a woman told me that she was broken-hearted when her adolescent son went to live with his father; she said she climbed onto the backyard trampoline the night her son left & "squalled & bawled & snotted & hollered", & nobody but the moon saw or heard her. *but* this is my free advice (& worth every penny, but I've had a bit of experience & I've been through some experiences with friends): Stay away from that man. Stay away from thoughts that you "need" that man, that he would be any answer to any problem at all, that he would be helpful in any way. Write yourself 3 lists: a list of instances in which he's responded callously to your needs, instances of how he's been a stinker, played mind games, put anybody/everybody ahead of you, treated you high-handedly, etc, & look at those pages any time you want to pick up the phone. a list of how many times & to what extent you went all-out to make his life easier or happier, & look at those pages any time you want to pick up the phone. a list of how many times & to what extent he went all-out to make your life easier or happier, & look at that blank piece of paper any time you want to pick up the phone. I once had to get the oil changed in my car on a cold evening when I was exhausted & not feeling good, & I found myself thinking, "I wish I had a husband to do this for me". & then I remembered: I had had a husband, & he *never* had the oil changed for me!

that's one way to look at it. It sounds worse the way you describe it... He/we borrowed money to pay off credit cards... which consolidated everything to one lower payment a month so then he figured he could afford a motorcycle payment. After I said we can't afford it, he got together with his parents & they discussed how it would save money on gas and all the pluses... he could get to work & home faster. Then his parents made me feel like a heel for wanting to deprive their son of having his own motorcycle... after all, he works so hard. His brother has one & soon after DH got his, FIL bought one... they said to go riding together, which hasn't happened yet. He justifies it because he works 40+ hours at his job, works at our business on his days off & in the evening, maintains the 6 acres during Spring & Summer. He does work hard, but I disagreed, his parents butted in (with his invitation of course) so when they complain he hasn't made his payment (on the debt consolidation), I ignore it or tell them how much he loves riding his bike... when it's not raining or cold. He doesn't miss the motorcycle payment though. No, it doesn't escape me that he is willing to buy what he wants & tell his daughter we can't afford it when she WANTS something. He does pay for the health insurance but I pay all the co-pays and other things because he puts his entire check toward the bills, including paying his parents back for the debt consolidation loan... and it was mostly HIS pre-me debt. He did sell his truck because it was only driven a few times a year & we wanted to get rid of that payment when the economy tanked. If she needs something, he will make sure she gets it. But, he'll take it out of our bill paying account & then tell me he needs me to cover some of the bills that he usually covers. It still comes out of my pocket... but it is really OUR pocket. I buy those things because it was what I did as a mother for my own kids... he thinks some of it is unnecessary ~ the extra's like school pictures, yearbooks & fundraisers, not the health care. He also doesn't like shopping & doesn't have patience... he used to go into the store knowing her current size & buy a few cheap outfits at a department store... sometimes the SAME outfit in different colors. That was when she was 5-6. She's now 11 & he would do the same.. he took her shopping for school clothes & dragged me along. It was a nightmare for me because he is so impatient & they argued over what she could get. (wanting low rise skinny jeans) plus she was upset that nothing fit her. Then he about had a heart attack at the register... until I told him that the last time I took her shopping, it was at least twice that much. AS for the update on MIL: We went to dinner at the restaurant last night & left baby at home with my DD. MIL sat furthest away from her parents (across from me) & SD between us at the end of the table. She interrogated... er, conversed with SD about life at our house & life at her mother's house.... anything to avoid her own parents, who seemed miserable. Then, MIL had planned us to come to her house tomorrow evening but I had plans so she moved it up to tonight. DH went straight from work. I took SD & my DS stayed at my house with the baby. By the time I got there, they actually had tried to cancel the whole thing... DH was upset that I didn't bring the baby because THEY WANT TO SEE THE BABY! So, I asked him WHO is making such a big deal about the baby being there? HIS MOM of course. I told him that first of all, the baby is not really related to anyone... he's a step-great great grandson at best. I doubt they really want to spend the night fawning over him as much as MIL wanted to see if I let SD play with him at HER house. Secondly, he wants the attention of the room. When people are talking, he tries to get in on it & gets noisy. I asked hi do we really want the evening to be about DGS or DH's grandparents & Aunt? So, since SD is having trouble in school (all F's & D's), I had her bring her homework. She took it out & MIL spent the entire time (along with MIL's sister) helping SD with her homework... focusing the entire evening on SD. I think that's the way it should be... SD is their granddaughter & SHE is the one that needs attention & help, not DGS ~ who would have demanded the attention & SD would have been ignored. MIL hardly said two words to me.. trying to remain pleasant for show but she was probably pissed at me. Oh well, I told DH that after what MIL did at the luau & the way she has been on me about SD playing with the baby, I am not putting the baby in the middle of that mess. He was sleeping at home anyways.