just a little update. brought mine out of the greenhouse and into some filtered shade. They overwintered pretty good. A little yellowing on a couple and just a touch of leaf drop. Not a big fruit set but thats ok because I plan to push these with more N this year to really get bigger. Fukushu, key and washington left to right meyer, bearrs lime, armstrong satsuma, seedling grapefruit and seedling lemon, left to right up close of fukushu kumquat, probably my favorite right now. Prolific bloomer, great fruit set, and always healthy. Its regulary flowers every other month or so. Steve these are for you the lemon seedling on the right is one of 2 of the very first citrus I grew. the other I gave to my mother. Both were germinated in the Fall of 2009 making them just over 6 years old. Ive neglected them a little and thats why they arent so big. One did flower last spring but just one or 2 flowers. Grapefruit is about 3 years old. and again neglected a little. mike

Saphire, some other thoughts: As Barb mentioned, you need to have a locked, inaccessible (to grandma) cabinet for ALL medications,including your mother's. I know that both Barb & I have had experiences with our parents misusing medications. It's pretty typical for the elderly. Include all over the counter medications too -- just about anything that you can purchase from a drug store. Use the same precautions you'd follow if you had a 2 year old crawling around in the house. Last year I read about an athlete poisoning himself with the over use of Ben Gay. So go through your mom's medicine cabinet carefully and scrutinize everything. Your grandma already has proven that she needs complete supervision with her meds. See if you can install some sort of intercom system between the apartments. That way if your mom needs help, she could much more easily contact either you or your brother's family. Radio Shack might be a source of help. You might want to look into special call buttons and emergency phone services. With her bad back, your mom should not attempt to pick grandma up after a fall. Call 911 and just wait for the help to arrive. To save wear & tear on your mom's back, work out a bathing schedule for grandma that will always have someone else assisting. Do the same for laundry & house cleaning. It could be one of your family members, or you could hire someone to come in for a few hours each week to take care of those needs. Regarding transitioning into the role of caregiver, there's no easy way. With your grandmother, you can always blame the changes on the hospital doctors. Just say that they're the ones who ordered this kind of oversight. You'll probably have to repeat yourself a dozen times each day for a while. For your mom, you'll just have to tell her that the inconveniences to her freedoms are for grandma's sake. Without her cooperation & willingness, grandma would have to be sent to a nursing home. Good luck with all that. It's really hard because most elderly absolutely hate giving up any of their independence. It's understandable but it doesn't make it easy on the caregiver. Check out web sites that carry assistive devices. I'm linking one below. These places carry lots of products that can be most helpful when dealing with mobility challenged individuals. Some of these things could make life a whole lot easier for your mom and the other members of your family while you're taking care of grandma. I have several others websites saved if you need more. Here is a link that might be useful: Dynamic Living

I don't know if you will see this, as much time has passed since you posted this, but I could have written your post word for word. My Mom died on Oct 8/08 with the exact same scenarior yours did, including her last moments. The difference is, my mom was able to tell us what she saw, and I'm hoping by letting you know, it might help you. Mom's breast cancer spread to her lungs, liver and bones. She was 47 when she died and my son was 10 months old. They were so close and it kills me that she isn't around anymore to see him (at least physically). It makes me hurt every time I think of it. I was there was she took her last breath too and am haunted by the memories of her death and the day she died. However, she was able to describe to us what she saw and that has helped me, so will maybe help you. The Tuesday morning of the day that she died, she talked all day to people that we couldn't see. At first we thought she was just out of it, but she would have moments where she would open her eyes and say clearly and with intent "I love all of you so much". But mostly she was back and forth between here and the Other Side (for lack of a better word). She was very agitated, yet talked to people in my family who had passed and I swear to you when she said my grandpa was there, you could literally feel him in the room. At one point, she said she saw Jesus at the end of her bed and was happy he was there. She said to us "You should see it, its beautiful". When it came down to the last half an hour of her life, she started to describe a path that she was going down. It was treed and beautiful and at the end of it was a house. She kept saying that she wanted to go in but couldn't find a way in. We told her to look for a door and then about a minute before she died, she said "Ok, you can let me go, I'm in now". Those were the last words she said. At that point, her breathing became very rattled and she focused her eyes up and to the right corner of the room. She took a few more breaths and then cried one single tear and then stopped breathing. For me, it was a horrible, yet amazing experience. I still get very upset over the physical experiences her body went through, but I know in my heart that she felt barely any of that pain as she was mostly with God on the Other side. I am only 25 and miss my mom so much that it physically hurts sometimes. I have been having a hard time with it lately, but then last week, I got an email from my mom's best friend who said that she had a dream about my mom. She said she was younger (about 30) and just beautiful. She said she was at my mom's house (which made me so happy because that is where she said she was going when she died) and that it was beautiful She said there were rocks and trees and gardens everywhere and the house was modest an cozy. My mom showed her around her house but there was one dark room and her friend said "But that room is dark and I can't see anything" and she said "yes, that room is for my daughter, she is in the dark a lot right now but will be bright again very soon". I'm assuming this meant the fact that I have been really depressed lately and that I will start feeling better soon. It was really great to know she was OK and that she still knows me and loves me like she did before. I'm sorry this has been so long but I thought it might help you as we seem to have had almost identical experiences. I hope you can find comfort in my story and know that your mom is OK and still loves you from wherever she is, please don't feel left out, some people are just more open to visits from their loved ones and sometimes we are too clouded by pain and grief to open up. Take care and try to be happy. :)

My dad's mom was from a farm in Minnesota. They raised horses. Several kids all together in one bed in the upstairs room. She loved the country and her home with the stream running through the pastures. My dad's dad lost his parents young. His dad was a tailor. Both their parents had come over from Sweden. My grandfather especially never forgot that his parents came over to escape religious persecution for being Baptists. Both grandparents always celebrated their Swedish heritage. My grandmother spoke Swedish with all her brothers and sisters. At the end of her life, when she had memory loss, she said she wanted to go back to be with the Swedes ( Minnesota ). They had things from Sweden all over the house and my grandma always had blue and gold curtains and fabrics for slipcovers. They asked me to make them a big Dala horse with the house numbers on it for the gate. I remember the two Victorian portraits of my grandfathers parents over the Victorian organ that was in the family room. We loved to play that organ as kids. Grandfather also had the china and a writing desk from his family when they came to America in the 1800s. Grandma always loved gardening and had a flower garden everywhere they lived. They started out in Minnesota, moved to Maryland, Indiana, and then out to California. The happiest day my Grandma had according to my dad was when her brothers and sister came over during WWII and they were all together again. Both brothers were in the army then and my grandpa worked as a radar specialist and sometimes flew in the large bombers. My grandmas brothers helped my grandpa build the first house they had in So.CA My grandma had a big garden then and it was packed full of flowers. I was a toddler then but I still remember all the flowers and the hand poured cement walks. Grandpa also built a little pass through door in the wall from the kitchen into the family room so grandma wouldn't have to go around. She always loved to bake. Later, they moved out to Riverside county. They had a bigger property and grew all kinds of fruit trees and grapes and every kind of vegetables. Grandma canned them all even though she had a market right down the road. She had all kind of little figurines and things for the kids to play with in the yard. We liked to make out little farms with the toy animals and give them rides in the old wagon she used to move plants around in. Grandpa had a room he added on to the garage where he had his electronics equipment. After the war, he was involved with the space missions. He loved radios, anything electric and my dad got him an Apple computer when they were first available. He was on the cutting edge of technology even into his nineties. I remember dad said he could fix anything. He was always going over to a neighbors house to help with electical or plumbing or carpentry. That's what neighbors were supposed to do. He had a woodshop in the garage and he built all our garage cabinetry and shelving and all our kitchen cabinets and a big kitchen island. He removed all the kitchen cabinets from their last home and replaced them with custom ones. If his body hadn't worn out, he'd still be doing it. Grandma always had pets. She loved them and I don't remember a time when she ever scolded them ( or us) . My sister said that grandma could make a good dog out of a bad one. She never was sophisticated and had an 8th grade little schoolhouse education but she had a kind heart and would always be there for a friend or neighbor in need. Her three kids all went to college but she never boasted about it. Any kind of flattery embarassed her in fact. She loved crafts and had a little room full of scraps and buttons and trims where she would sew. We spent hours in that room going through it all just for fun and on holidays she let us make valentines and ornaments and all kinds of Christmas decorations. We got together every Sunday for dinner and afterwards watched Lawerence Welk, Wild Kingdom, and Disney. I remember my cousins came over too and especially during the holidays. Two of my cousins moved to Virginia but they came to spend the summer with grandma in CA. She loved Virginia too and sometimes she lived there with my aunt for a month in the summer. After my grandpa passed away, she moved to my aunt's in Virginia and saw my cousins and their kids all the time. She loved kids and babies and all kinds of animals. She loved the seasons in Virginia and sent me pictures and fall leaves.