Bull dogs apparently have breathing problems, but do you think she's having a little acid reflux? The combination of the fish food and the BEANS could be what's contributing to her breath smell. Black beans do have an odor when they've set too long in the fridge. And after they hit the stomach acid it's hard telling what they smell like! HA! If a dog has an ear infection their ears will really stink. So it could be the fungus stuff, you mentioned, on her face. Is there a special concoction that you use to wash her face? Whatever you use, I would clean her face at least twice a day. Also note what she was eating right before you smelled the bad odor. Keep a log. Possibly just a week of cleaning her folds will remove the smell. But you also might notice a pattern to her breath smell and what she has consumed. If you don't see a change after a week then you might want to run it by your vet.

Well fine, it COULD be a source of resentment and anger (and to show off) IF I HAD INVITED BM and done so for those reasons. I didn't. I want SD to have a nice party with lots of friends from school. She had to change schools when her mom left and because of her behavior problems adjusting, she's had a harder time making new friends. It would be devastating for her to be embarrassed by her mom in front of her new friends. I was going to invite her BF's ex wife only because SD said she wanted her mom's BF's kids there and she'll have them that weekend. I wasn't doing that to annoy or torture anyone. I didn't expect BM to be there so didn't see that it would be a problem. and I was going to invite her sister but wasn't sure how to do that without inviting BM (I wouldn't mind BM's mom bringing her, since she seems nice). and I wanted to give SD a party she'll remember forever, but not for the wrong reasons. She will have a wonderful time, even if I have to chew my own tongue off or leave early. I don't know why she'd want to be there, except to prove she has the right because 'she's the mom'. Everyone in my family and DH's family will be there (even a couple of DH's friends from work that witnessed the big scene) and all are a little upset over everything that has happened over the last year (court battle, her leaving her kids for the BF, threats & accusations of abuse). I don't think anyone will start anything with her because they aren't that immature, they all remember last year too and I don't think anyone would want to spoil SD's day. However, I can't control what BM will do and I can't control my mom, I know she has a tendency to glare at people she doesn't like. Heck, I can't control anyone else but I hope everyone behaves. My family and DH's will be asked to. My husband thinks I should still invite the BF's ex wife. I am not going to unless SD really wants her kids to come. I am not going to 'use' her to make BM angry. and ceph, I don't think even Dr. Phil could help her. He says you can't change what you don't acknowledge and she really believes she's done NOTHING wrong, everyone does her wrong. and fine, don't you think with all the money BM is saving by not paying for her daughter's birthdays, school clothes, field trips, extra curricular activities, medical/dental/therapy, feeding her, and everything else it costs to raise a child, she should start a college fund. Don't ya think? I'm SM, you think I should put the money aside for her college? and I didn't intend to hijack this thread with talk of a birthday party, I was disputing kkny's point about SM's vs. BM's (and pointing out that not all BM's are good, not all SM's are bad) I think it's people that are good or bad, not because of the title they have, but who they are as a person.

Agree with the other posts. Why the he// do you stay with someone who, according to you, is wonderful, loving and generous with everyone else including his (not related to him) friends and employees, and treats you and your child like carp? And who expects you to pay for pretty well everything as well as doing all the housework? You're not only a skivvy, but a skivvy who supports this ingrate and enables him to be Mr Generosity to everyone else. I'd be moving back to my place and cutting all ties with this creep. You say you want your children to have a father, but this guy surely cannot possibly be the father you wanted for them, one who gives them the example that Mom is the household slave and who ignores them (forgetting to pick up one from day care???) in favour of others. You may not get child support but then it won't be an unfamiliar situation- you're not getting it now. This guy isn't a husband and father, he's a millstone. Time to slip your neck out of the hole, breathe free and have the chance to find someone who appreciates you, if that's what you want.

Mascara! Get out of this relationship RIGHT NOW! I'm sorry to sound harsh. But, Mascara, I'm not telling you anything you don't know when I say that this is going nowhere fast. There is nothing in it for you. I don't care if the guy looks like Johnny Depp, thinks like Einstein, loves you like Romeo, has money like Bill Gates, and sings like Frank Sinatra -- there is nothing to look forward to here but disaster. STOP focusing on distractors like - whether he is inconsistent with regard to his son - whether the mom is to blame, lazy, irresponsible, inconsiderate, radioactive, purple or polka-dotted! She is completely irrelevant. - whether he is fair or right or wrong in preferring, in any sense, his son's needs to yours You are focusing on all this stuff to avoid looking at what you know you really need to: what is in the future for you. That's human nature; everyone does it. It's so much easier to think about blame and fault and chances and clues in remarks than to look at the harsh facts. But you have to get past it. (Some people never do -- they are pathetic at best and self-destructive at worst.) For a while there you were on the right track, but it sounds like you've backslid a bit. That's okay, but it's time to get back to the hard work of ending this. I think you know that. I think that's why you posted here. It's just too hard to tell yourself this (also human nature), so you came here for us to do it for you. That's okay, too. (I have to say I have been wondering where your own mother has been.) But, honey, you really have to get out of this mess. That little family has enough major problems without having to worry about your (very legitimate) 19 year old needs and insecurities, and you have enough on your plate without having to deal with - a very sick little boy -- and by the way, 6 years old is PLENTY old enough to be aware of whether his father is there for him. - an unreliable boyfriend (with an alcohol problem and a broken foot) - his ex-girlfriend You are more than entitled to be thinking about your own needs -- indeed, that's what everyone here has been telling you. But you are NOT entitled to expect everyone else to put your needs first all the time, and especially not right now: there is a 6 year old boy undergoing a kidney transplant! His parents will need -- for quite a long time -- to focus 100% on him and what will help him and make him the most comfortable -- whether it is more or less convenient for one of them or whether he has a broken foot, and even if it is totally unfair to you. Even if he were married with 3 more kids, his wife and kids would have to take the backseat right now; indeed, they should pitch in. If he ditches that sick child to go drinking with his friends, that's awful; but it's hardly less awful to do so to be with his girlfriend. I think the thing holding you back is what you said in an earlier post, that you don't want to give up while there is still a little shred of good in this relationship. Big mistake. And also a very common one. (Goes for quitting a job, moving, changing a major, etc., too, not just relationships, by the way). But when it's time to move on, you move on, even though there are indeed some great things remaining in the situation or relationship. That's what makes it so hard -- if it were all already 100% bad, it would be easy. But think about it: would you enter a situation that was only 25% good? Even 50% or 75%? Then why stay in one? You know what to do. It seems you just needed someone to tell you to do it. So reread all these posts if you need that push. (The fact that you two have had some nice times lately doesn't change anything; the problem was never that he was an ogre.) He is not speaking to you; he may actually be the one to end things. If he does, that may even make it easier in the end. Again, I'm sorry to sound harsh. I really am in your corner. This is exactly what I would tell my own daughter. Good luck to you -- we are all rooting for you.