Susierose, my heart breaks for you! Your faith will be your strength to carry you through. I understand what you're going through, lost my Dad to emphysema in '89, the pain of it is always in the background. Don't beat yourself up over what you see as shortcomings, you were a blessing to his life, that's all that really matters. God bless you and yours in the coming days and weeks. Your garden junk friend sending love, hugs and prayers ~tenderlee

Susierose when my dad died in 2002 my heart broke cause the flesh part of me wanted him her even tho he was disabled from strokes after openheart sur. But the spirit in me rejoiced that he believed in Jesus and was a whole person again and having family reuions...And that some day we will be together again....God Bless you sisierose...And your dad...

Sweet SusieRose, blessed be those who brings comfort & "humor"! My heart cries for your struggle. You are a blessing to your Dad through his struggle.
I'm listening to Simon & Garfunkel's, Bridge Over Troubled Water,
When you're down & out, I will comfort you, like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind, etc.
That's my prayer for you.
Vickie

SusieRose...what pain you are in! I just hope others understanding and caring help you feel less alone. I lost my Mom to emphysema in 01, leaving me with the feelings Leveta and Tenderlee just shared.

To me, grief is like the ebbs and tides of the oceans. Sometimes, it laps casually at your ankles and sprays you with a fine mist. Other times, it crashes in to you with a force that knocks you on your butt, soaks you through and through, and makes you fight to catch your breath!

(Vicki, I love that old song!)
{{gwi:77274}}

It sounds like your dad has some good folks looking out for him & what better hands can you be in than a nurse & dr.that are related to you!! You can rest easy that he is getting better than normal care, he's getting family love & hugs besides the medical aspect!! (something we would all like when we are down!) Sometimes like now you just have to let God take control & let him make the decisions! Hugs & prayers, hang in there & glad you have hubs to comfort you!! Jan

susieroses ...I have a little Chinese fortune cookie slip of paper taped by my keyboard..

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."

You're one heck of a sailor, susieroses, you've been "adjusting the sails" with your Dad for quite some time. Keep at it, keep prayers going & keep your faith...cling to "Hubs"...you are a survivor! Bless you, and will keep you and your family in prayer. Jeanne S.

Dearest Susie~

The relationship you have with your Dad is so precious. I lost my daddy in 2003, so I know so well the feelings you are having at this moment. Just continue to love him and encourage him and let him know that all will be well for him and for you. There are no good works we can do to receive the love of God...it is given freely and that is the beauty of knowing the heart of God. I will be praying for you in the days to come and for the rest of your family as well. Your Dad will be fine...he will be free of his pain and will see those he loves again. He will be watching over you and your life as well...that I do believe. We love you Susie!
~Marlene

Susie, I haven't been around much lately....Lurking mostly...Your post has brought tears to my eyes. You are such a deeply caring and loving person. Your there for your dad in the most important way. Soothing his fears about his own faith and eternal destiny. The thief on the cross only had to say to Jesus.. I believe and was told "today you will be with me in the kingdom of heaven". I pray for you the strength to say goodbye.. and for your dad the belief and peace...all is well with his soul. I had to talk to my dad just minutes before he died on the phone and ask him if he had asked for forgiveness... He was in a nursing home in Ohio and would not go to the services held there.. but would listen from a distance.... It has been three years since that phone call. Please take care of yourself...

I remember when my mother died. My father was in the hospital about to have surgery for cancer the next day. About 1:00am my mother was driving my sister back to college when they were hit by a drunk driver with no headlights on. So around 6:00am when my father should have been going into the ER, the doctors came in to tell him my mother had died, and there the drunk driver was, screaming for a beer.My sister broke her arm. My father went back a couple days after the funeral for surgery, and died 3 years later. Lots of other deaths in the family, including my first husband, then our son. And that was it for me.
I'm like you and attempt to cope by crafting and with the wickedly morbid sense of humor my husband and I share. I try to tell myself every morning that there is always always always something to be thankful for...I painted it on a sign!
Everyone else has said what I would say if I could find the words!
You're such a good person, Susie..Bless You!

Susie, I had to read the subject line again. This guy sounds like he has been much more than a step dad to you! My goodness, from your love and concern for him, he sure sounds like a genuine father. It gives me the impression that he is truly a remarkable man.

It sounds like he will get some awesome care in Arizona. I hope he finds much love, comfort and peace there.

Susie, if it weren't for that "crybaby" quality of yours, other people would not realize just how special the people in your life are because of how much you feel for them.

How much do you want to bet that every medical person that sees your reaction is more inspired to watch over your loved ones because they know how special they are? I think sometimes nurses, doctors and other medical staff get discouraged when people - patients and visitors alike - are ornery, demanding and rude. Someone like you helps remind them just how important their jobs are and what their skills and talent mean to other people, not just the patient.

So just keep being a crybaby! It is a wonderful quality and I'm sure your family feels the same way. You wear your love and concern for them on your sleeve. I know I would feel very loved and appreciated if you expressed the same love and concern for me that you have for your step dad.

I've been teary eyed everytime I read a new post. Thank you all for sharing your stories and thus identifing with my sadness. There are parts of our lives that we are never totally prepared for. It helps to link arms with those who have "Been There". Thank you.

The doctor has decided that no further Chemo is reccommended. He feels that the COPD (empheseama) may be his ultimate demise anyway, not the lung cancer. My question is "Why didn't you consider that before you put him through Chemo for the lung cancer"??????? He also has diabetese. The steroids had his blood sugar up over 500 for weeks. I think all things needed to be considered before aggressive treatments were started. This has been a very good life lesson for me, AFTER THE FACT. I wanted to share this with you all as well. If you have multiple deseases go to specialist's for each of them before agreeing to fight a new one with chemo. EXample: Your heart doctor may tell you that statistically you have only 3 years to live. So why would you aggressively fight slow growing colon cancer??

There was an article last week on MSN News about this very thing but I do not know how to do links or transfer a link from my favorites list yet. If anybody missed the article and want it, I will try to copy down the web address for you.

Susie

You are right, SusieRose. When multiple things involved, its VERY necessary to make choices. My dear Dad has both heart disease and kidney disease. When he's had to go in hospital twice for mild heart attacks, I had to make sure his heart doc and kidney doc worked together. Most treatments for the heart (involving dye injections) would wreck Dad's kidneys and put him on dialysis. He doesn't want that of course. As for the heart disease, that's not even the major concern. Dad has an aortic aneurysm that will mostly like kill him, in a matter of minutes when it bursts. He can't have the surgery to remove it unfortunately with all his other issues. So both his specialists have opted to just keep him comfortable with meds and monitor him with frequent check-ups. Had the heart doc not listened to us tho, and treated Dad, it would have been horrible in the long run to have his kidneys destroyed.
I will pray for your DAD (because he's that in every sense to you.) to be comfortable and able to enjoy his time on earth with family who love him so much.

Cry all you want, we'll catch your tears.
{{gwi:76417}}

Susie,

My prayers have been with you and your dad since I read this. I tried to say something the day you posted it but for some reason it didn't go. I understand what you are going through. I lost my dad 2 years ago. Since I was always his little girl, I was devastated when he passed on. I still miss him every day. I try to remember that he isn't suffering anymore and he is with God. I know he is better off where he is because he is no longer suffering. You are right, there is no way to prepare for this loss even when you know it is coming. It is ok to cry. My prayers are with you. And we are all here for you when you need to talk.

~Micki~

Dear SusieRose
Lots of calming karma and good thoughts coming your way. Having multiple problems like with the diabetes it is so hard to be monitoring all this . I have my own glucometer with me and I check my blood sugar levels so that I make sure I get insulin. What a sweet heart you are to feel so deeply and God has send you some good news and help your Dad will be getting help from a family nurse and doctor.

It seems we jUNKERS have become a lifeline for each other and that is so very good. Remind your Dad that all he has to say "I accept you Jesus as my Lord and Savior"

God Bless you and tell your dad that this half bald lady in California is praYing for him too!

God Bless You and Yours

Sylvia

Sometimes they do chemo & it really takes, that is what the drs were hoping for probably. So you never know what will work & what isn't worth trying. GF's dad had colon cancer & he said, no chemo, month later pain was so bad he was begging them but it was too far advanced & he only lived short time. Drs do their best. The chaplin at hospital my GF is in said it is so easy to just glance in a room & tell which patients have support from families & prayer, he said they actually go home sooner, have better attitude & are up quicker. We had a man from church who had heart surgery. His wife had died, I told friend we should go visit him about week after surgery- he was laying there more "out-of-it" than "there" as we talked & reminded him who we were he came out of it & started talking. nurse came in & said she was going to go get him some lunch, we prodded him to eat & he ate some. The nurse ran after us in the hall & told us they didn't expect him to make it as he hadn't had any visitors,somehow he had fallen through the cracks. He did recover to live many yrs. Jan

I am so amazed at how quick Bob's regular physician got all his records from the doctors who did all his other surgeries. His regular physician walks around the clinic with a laptop computer. Everything is on there. A good word of advice to everyone ... have all your physician's name's and contact information with you just in case you have to go to the ER for emergency treatment. If you stay within the same healthcare group (like our doctor is affiliated with a group with multiple clinics and hospitals), all the facilities should instantly have all your medical information in their computers. I think it helped a lot that every time my Bob went into the hospital, I kept telling them his all his physician's names and contact information. They all ended up with all his medical records.

Jan, what a lovely story. I know when I visit my mother in the nursing home, I have even sat with her at the table at dinner time with the rest of the ladies and had conversations with them. They seem to pick up when you get them talking. Those little random acts of kindness they are always talking about sure can make a difference!

Susie, you and your dad will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!

I can really feel the prayers. There is a calm peace now. I am keeping busy and trying to keep to normal activities. If I slow down I start thinking about things.

My Dad is out of the hospital and preparing to be taken on a direct flight to Tuscon AZ. The airline will help with oxygen during the flight and wheel chairs.

Thank everyone for your prayers, well wishes, and genuine support. I am so greatful. If the prayers helped me to be stronger, I am assured that my Dad was also helped to feel stronger.

Bless you all.

Susie

I know you'll be relieved that Rick will be in the best of care and comfort possible. That in itself is a blessing. Thinking of you, I know it's tough, and you're right, the quiet moments are sometimes the hardest ones of the day. ~tenderlee