You cannot get your redwood deck to ever look like finished hardwood flooring. It's just an unrealistic expectation. Even if you could, it wouldn't last more than a couple of months.
You need to use a high quality, penetrating oil formulation from a paint store (not Home Depot or Lowes) Brand names would be TWP, Cabot's, Deckscapes, Sikkens (SRD formula) or maybe even Olympic Maximum (not plain Olympic which is junk) Do not, by any stretch, use CWF, Behr, or Thompsons. You also cannot use any type of tung oil or plain oil rub. The deck will covered in black and green mold in very short time, shortening the life of the deck.
When you are done building the deck, you will need to find a sodium percarbonate based cleaner (Wolman's makes one) Follow that with an oxalic based pH balance/brightener (Cabot's makes one).
Your desire to not have to seal every year is a long shot if you are sealing it yourself. It can be done every two years if your prep and cleaning is perfect, the wood is in the right pH balance range when applying the oil sealer, you use the right technique for proper sealer penetration, you use a very high quality product, and if you're enviroment isn't too harsh. If you get frequent rain/high sun cycles you can count on doing it every year for the type of aesthetic you are seeking.
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