Life Lessons the hard way...
I used to sell tile. All kinds. And if you're looking for fault, it is with both the tile choice (you), AND the installer.
For both were not paying attention to the details.
This is a perfect example of how, and why, not just anyone can install every tile.
There are hundreds of installers who are just average installers in every city. This seems to be what you have ended up with. There are only a handful of expert tile installers, sometimes less. To find an expert tile installer for specialty tile, such as yours, one should visit the tile showrooms who ONLY sell tile. They can give you a list of names. While they may not be allowed to recommend one installer over another, they can give you a list of names and tell you which installers they know for a fact (because they regularly sell the types of tile to those installers) have installed uneven tiles, or better yet- ask who has installed natural slate tiles more than one time! It only takes one time of installing natural slate tile for an average installer to learn his lesson!
(The practise of recommending certain installers can, and usually does, end up with the installers paying off the sales people, which is a bad practise.)
So getting names of experienced tile setters is crucial. You can even go to more than one tile showroom and get a list from them too. Compare the list from several showrooms and the better setters will become evident. The cream always rises to the top. And in the world of tile, this rule of thumb definitely applies.
The next step for the homeowners is to at least get photographic proof of jobs these installers have done. The recommendations are of utmost importance. The only installers that can install this type of tile you have, will have past jobs which they are MORE than happy to show you the results. They may even be able to let you see it in person. These expert installers will be VERY, VERY expensive. This is because they are worth every penny when they do a job such as yours and there are no complaints at the end of the job. Had you employed an expert from the beginning, these installers would have told you the grout joints would NEED to be wider than what you have because there has to be some room to "fudge" the tile into the space. The tiles are not uniform. The tiles are not at fault. The wall has probably not changed. But if the wall HAD changed, this would again, show the inexperience of the installer. The expert installer should be able to asses a wall, enough to know if there needs to be a certain special kind of underlayement applied before the tile goes up. An underlayement which will keep a wall dry, or make it even and plum, etc. There are many reasons for underlayments, but that's a whole other bucket of worms, and with the information you've given, that doesn't seem to be the issue. Back to the uneven tiles and the installers...
Another example of tiles that are uneven are natural slate tiles. The real slate from the earth, not manufactured by humans. They are not exactly cut from a rock, but are sort of peeled off in sheets, then cut into squares etc. But the thickness of each natural slate tile are not uniform. This is a feature people like. Unless of coarse it is installed incorrectly. Imagine you are walking barefoot on this slate, and you stub your toe because one tile is sticking up more than half an inch, just on one side of the tile. Not good. And not installed correctly. But these are issues that even a semi-beginning installer would see as a problem right away. The tile setters should know their limitations. They should tell the customer that they will NOT be able to install that tile in a smooth fashion. No tile setter WANTS to re-do a job.
Which brings us to the experts.
The ONLY people that can install slate tiles are extremely experienced tile setters. With natural slate, and your tile too, the uneven edges need to be worked in a special way. The first mistake I see with this job is the tiny grout lines. I can only assume the installer is following your instructions on your grout line size preference. Only because that is usually up to the homeowner. However, with THIS tile, there should not be an option. An experienced tile setter would know this right away upon inspection of the tile. Large grout lines are the ONLY way to install this tile for perfection. Well, large grout lines and a very experienced installer. Again, information the installer SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. The fact that the installer either decided on small joints or was following your choice of small grout lines shows the installer does not have enough experience to install this tile.
Also -
IF you purchased this from a "tile house" showroom the sales person SHOULD HAVE told you this tile requires large grout lines. And by large grout lines I simply mean a minimum of one quarter inch, maybe even larger. I would not want to guess the proper size of the grout lines from the information given, except to say that less is NOT good. But then, you already know that, now. By the way - there is no actual "requirement" on grout line size. The lines simply need to be fashioned to do what is best for the tile. Then, after all that is decided, the TYPE of grout is decided, either sanded or unsanded, etc. This is what the tile showroom sales people are good for, as well as discussing it with the installer. If however, you purchased this from a big box store, well... your loss on expert sales information is now showing on your wall.
So, who is really at fault?
The lack of sufficient and expert information is the fault here.
Which is a shame.
This tile could look beautiful in the correct setting, with the correct grout size, and most of all - the correct installer.
What to do now?
Learn to like what you have?
Like the others said - install lighting in such a way that it compliments the tile instead of detracts from it.
OR
If you cannot stand to look at it the way it is, AND you have extra money in your budget...
1.) Fire the installer you have now. Tell him/her you are done with their services and don't forget to tell them you are not anywhere near happy with the result. This doesn't have to be done in an ugly way. What's the point? Well, how will he/she know what your feeling if you don't tell them outright. How will this installer learn from his/her mistakes? Just tell them - What's done is done.
You're moving on.
Besides, chances are you cannot prove he/she did wrong, as he/she was simply "following your instructions". That is what he/she will most likely say in court anyway. Besides, taking them to court (which is probably your only chance of getting any money back) will only eat up your budget anyway, and you probably will not win.
Chalk it up to a very expensive life lesson.
Next -
2.) Pay someone to un-install that tile.
Or YOU do that yourself! You COULD work out a whole lot of aggression doing that job yourself! Just be aware that no matter who takes that tile down, new drywall will most likely need to be put up afterward.
The current tile you have now will probably not be savable either. But it sounds like you don't like it anymore anyway.
3.) Find a reputable tile place (or more than one) that has been in business a long time. Someplace that sells natural stone, as well as tile, most good places sell both.
Talk to the sales staff, ask A LOT of questions. If that sales person doesn't have answers, go somewhere else.
Don't try to cut corners. You don't want to do this all over a third time.
4.) Choose a new tile.
5.) Have the new, more experienced, and therefore more expensive tile setter, put up the new tile. You should also be aware that it is normal practise for the better setters to have a waiting list. So you will be waiting a few weeks, or more...
6.) Finally, after your new tile is up and gleaming in just the right way - smile and walk away.
Don't hold any grudges.
It isn't worth it!
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