I make my own happiness my priority.
I exercise, which has been proven to be beneficial for mental health. Long walks for me offer an opportunity for self reflection, where I can consider more ways to improve myself and my life. They also offer an opportunity to LEARN. I love listening to documentaries or books on topics that interest me. They also help me sleep better, another ingredient in good mental health.
I garden, because the results make me happy, be it a pretty flower or a delicious blackberry. Seeing successful results of work invested is so satisfying. Its a rush.
I set boundaries and stick to them. My family knows that I do not entertain drama or take sides. There is almost no drama in my family but no one is perfect. Most of them respect that I do not welcome unsolicited advice or opinions on my life choices, and the one that forgets that, gets reminded every time she tries to nag me to go to church with her. I do not intrude on anyones personal life and do NOT allow anyone to intrude on mine.
I do not believe in things such as "guilty pleasures" or "indulgent" purchases. I deserve nice things and so do you. If the bills are paid and I want something, I do not think that I have to justify it. I wanted it. So what if I have a million heart shaped baking dishes, I don't have THIS one and I want it. Done and done. I sometimes joke about justifying such things but in my mind there is truly no need. To that end....
I learned to let go of guilt. Guilt from past things that cannot be changed. Guilt for having nice things that not everyone can afford. Guilt for having a nice life when not everyone does. Guilt for putting myself first. Guilt for saying NO to people asking for favors that would inconvenience me to grant. As long as I personally have not done anything to harm anyone, then no need for such. Its been a game changer in my happiness.
I cut out any and everybody in my life who were not good for me or brought me no joy to know. Energy vampires, leeches, users, that one friend who only calls to hang out when no one else is available, or when they need a ride or a few bucks, or who is a walking dumpster fire and who brings chaos with them whenever they come around. Bye bye.
To bring balance to what seems like a "me me me" philosophy, I do find it good for my mental health to do nice things for others, even if indirectly. I like decorating my office at the holidays to bring joy to others, I like doing small things for my truck drivers. Occasionally I will pick up some cupcakes or doughnuts as a treat for them. And of course all the treats of the holidays. I like cooking for other people. And I love making my SO happy in many ways. Doing things to make others feel happy WITHOUT the pressure or demand or obligation to do so can do marvels for ones mental health!
So, in summary, I do nice things for myself. Whatever I want.
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