Oak cabinets are returning - though not in the style of your present kitchen. In general, white oak is the new wood style. Oak has always been a good wood because it is durable and easy to stain. For the past decade that oak was "out", people turned to maple (difficult to stain evenly) and alder, knotty and can also stain unevenly and other woods with good and bad points. Cherry is lovely but took the same knocking as oak because of its red undertone. I am not surprised to see a return of an easy to work with and easy to stain wood.
You might consider a craftsman style kitchen - as long as you like the style and can blend it with your home. If your husband would go for it, you could do a painted uppers and stained lowers.
This is my wood kitchens idea book - some newer kitchens and some older refreshed kitchens:
https://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/75202366/list/wood-kitchens
I did slowly over time paint my trim white - but it was never oak. If it had been oak I might not have done it. My kitchen cabinets are stained oak and my house is a mix of white and wood. White gives brightness while wood gives warmth. This is my wood and white idea book which also might inspire. You do not have to get it all done in a day:)
https://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/59566423/list/wood-and-white
Q