Regarding cleaning, you are actually adding a cleaning chore because that 3-4” backsplash creates a ledge that collects dust and grime and will need to be wiped down. The 3-4” backsplash does make it easier on the ”counter guy” as you put it, because he doesn’t have to be so careful about scribing, since that little backsplash allows margin for error. I suspect that is why he wants to convince you to get it. Also, he will charge for time and materials to install the 3-4” backsplash.
“the grout connecting the backsplash and countertop”
Caulk should be used for areas where movements occur, like corners, different planes (horizontal of counter and vertical of backsplash), and a change in materials (counter and backsplash). Epoxy grout can be used in those areas, but it is still not as flexible as caulk. Regular grout should not be used in that joint. Since the contractor mentioned staining of the grout, that means he is talking about regular grout. I would pin down this contractor about whether he will be using grout, epoxy grout or caulk between the counters and backsplash.
“It’s just not trendy anymore.”
I don’t really agree with this comment because the small backsplash was never trendy in the first place. It was commonly used in the time before the scribing tools existed that we have today—which some fabricators still don’t have the skill or equipment to use. It actually is trendy today to use the 3-4” backsplash when you want your kitchen to look old-timey, to harken back to an earlier era, particularly when soapsone counters are being used.
Who is installing your tile backsplash? I would not use this guy or someone on his crew. I’d hire a tile installer separately.
Q