If you're concerned about building a house being overly stressful on your marriage, I'd suggest you postpone the building project.
I'd make a couple suggestions:
1. Choose a time in your life that's "right" for building. If you have toddlers, elderly parents, or a stressful job, that might mean that waiting is the right choice.
2. Build within your finanical means. Several people have made comments about money being one of the biggest stressors in a marriage -- if my social group is typical, that's true. So many people here are planning large, expensive houses, and if you can comfortably afford them, that's great. But if they're a stretch, cut back. Playrooms, baths for every bedroom, bonus rooms -- these are all luxury items, but so often on this board they sound like necessities. Build what you can comfortably afford, and allow for some unexpected costs.
3. Take your time in the planning stage, and once you've set things in motion, do not second-guess yourself. One way to do this: After you've made a choice (say, on cabinets), stop looking at other options.
4. Accept that everything won't be perfect. Pick the top few things that are genuinely your "must haves" and make them your no-compromise items, but be prepared to accept "okay" in other areas. As everything comes together, that less-than-perfect tile or that questionable paint will blend in with everything else, and no one else'll ever notice -- whether you notice or not depends upon your attitude.
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Possible microwave
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