Your situation reminds me of some words a wise woman once told me when someone from my life had passed away, and I didn't have a lot of emotion to this happening. I found myself feeling at odds with myself for not having a more pronounced sense of grief.
This wise woman said, when a person dies, we find out how much that person meant to us by way of what they added to our lives. Without that person who brought a lot of love (or whatever goodness it was) to our life, we grieve. Without those attributes, we don't, so much. That comment cleared a lot of ambivilent feelings I had for this departed person.
Either way, very sorry for your loss.
Q
death of an estranged sibling!
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