POLL: When The Kids Move Out - Change OR Leave Their Rooms Alone?
Fratantoni Lifestyles
10 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
CHANGE IT!!!
LEAVE IT ALONE!! THEY MIGHT COME BACK!
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (129)
speckledcat
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoredecoratingtropicalcalm
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Are You Unable to Leave Your Garden Alone?
Comments (18)Hoovb: "It's all about the journey, not the destination..." and Lottirose: "My garden is not and never will be a showplace, but it is my bliss.". Both wonderful articulations of my feelings. My garden movement I think is pretty minor, but a constant slow flow. I cannot shovel prune anything - just not in my nature, but I do move plants that are not doing as well as I'd like, or I don't think belong in their current place for one reason or another, to a less obvious place. I find myself moving more and more companion plants, and making more room for roses in the prime garden spots. The one rose I moved to replace with another (moved a Crimson Glory to put in a Sunsprite instead, as I thought she'd look better there) - I find myself apologizing daily to Crimson Glory as she doesn't like her new spot. I think in future, any roses happy in their spot will remain in their spot, despite my opinion. Daily dead-heading and weeding mostly gives me the sense of activity I need for constant input into my garden. I do keep visualizing more places for more and different roses as I plan to further expand. One think I have learned about the perception of my garden, is to keep my less pleasant relatives out! I had my cousin and his wife visit the other day, and somehow looking at my superbly beautiful garden (in my eyes that is) through her eyes, dimished it greatly. She had a critical eye, and lots of suggestions on how it could be better. Opinions I likely would have welcomed from any of the true rosarians on this forum, but were not appreciated from one with less than constructive intent....See MoreCabinets - Paint, Stain or leave them alone?
Comments (1)I am in exactly the same place as you. I have an excellent painter so I will use him to refinish & match as well as I can. The trick is to find a good looking hinge. My other choice is refacing-but lots of $$$...See MoreFather needs help, stepmom wants kids to move out
Comments (22)I'm a stepmom of 2 kids... an 11-year old boy and a 14-year old girl... who live with my husband and I about 80% of the time. I have to say that I'm blessed - they are kind, loving and very respectful kids who have always treated me well. Even given that, I have to admit that I STILL find being a stepmom very challenging. I think like most stepmoms, I came into this situation with the desire to create a happy, harmonious environment for me and the man I married and his children. I still do. I care about these kids, and I want them to be happy and set up to have a successful life, emotionally and in every other way. But over time... again, even though my stepkids are such good kids... I have STILL found myself surprised at the amount of resentment (and sometimes even anger) that has built up in me. It's the result of a few factors I think. A big one for me is that I resent the fact that their own mother doesn't do more. I shared with my husband a few months back that he and his ex need to split the driving duties and other parenting responsibilities 50/50, while I only help out occasionally, versus me doing 70% of all of the pickups and drop offs for school and other activities. (Just because I work from home and have a flexible work schedule doesn't mean that I'm an on-call chauffeur for the kids.) Another big one is that my husband is happy to have his kids around all the time (of course, he's their dad!) while I really need time away from them where it's just the two of us. No matter how nicely I may share with my lovely husband that I need more time with him (i.e. on the third week in a row that their mom wants us to take them during the weekend when she is supposed to have them) on some level he'll always hear it like I am rejecting his children. This has caused major friction in our marriage. His children, their mom's lack of care for them and him making me feel like I need to fill the gap (or I'm not being supportive) is really the only thing we fight about. Before you call me evil, let me explain: So much of being a stepmom is holding your tongue. I really care about the emotional well being of my stepkids, and I don't ever want to say or do anything that may cause them pain or make them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in my home. I'm not a jerk or anything, I'm a pretty kind person I think. But the amount of stuff that you may want to say out loud that you don't... about the kids, their mom, whatever... it's a lot. On some level, I feel like I'm always monitoring what I do and say. It's tiring. I have to admit that it's nice when they go to their moms, so that I can "turn off" so to speak and just BE in my own home. So I look forward to that time. It also gives me a chance to miss them and appreciate them even more when they come back! I see so many comments attacking stepmoms, and I'm sure there are some majorly s***ty ones out there, but there's also a lot of well-meaning ladies that really do care for the kids in their care. But guys, I'd just ask you to remember that these ARE NOT our kids. Everything we do for them, we do out of love for you. And it can be very draining. A mom gets fed by the unconditional love that flows effortlessly between her and her biological child. A stepmom does not. She gives a lot and really doesn't get a lot back. Overtime, you can start to feel like the hired help, a guest in your own home, and the lowest person on the totem pole. My advice for the original poster? If you're not willing to change the kids' schedule, then offer an alternative that she can work with - hiring a nanny. Seriously. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but really, it sounds like your wife is stuck in what's called a "double bind." She wants to support you by helping you with your kids (she LOVES you, after all) but at the same time, she really doesn't want to be doing most of what she is doing... but by not doing it, she feels she would be letting you down. It's a lose lose. Add on top of that the pain of losing the baby, and she is growing to resent the lot of you. Take the burden off of her. Look into hiring a nanny to carry most of the load. Yes, it will cost you some money, but hiring a nanny is much less expensive than paying for a divorce. Also consider setting a date night for just the two of you once per week that you don't break (and when you do go out, don't talk about your kids!). Much love to you and your situation x...See MoreThis kid won't leave me alone!!!
Comments (46)There are four girls in this room. Poor set up, no privacy. The only doors are the front door and the ones to the toilet. There isn't even a door to the showers, only a curtain. They all sleep in the same room, which is open to the "living room". She requested a cheaper room which had four sharing a quad but two girls shared a bedroom which had doors. They were filled already. So, she's still poking me on Facebook, although not every day now. Yes, all three girls have problems with the one. One of them had a screaming match with her the first week or two of moving in. At first Lauren and C. (the one she gets along with the most), thought it was the other girl with the problem. M. (the nudist) moved into her brother's apartment for a couple weeks and all was quiet. She apparently got into a fight with her brother over something I'm not going to post here and moved back to the dorm. She has since been acting like a slob and being inconsiderate of her roommates. The 3 girls have morning classes, M. doesn't so she can stay out late at night and come back in the early morning waking them all with her loud banging around. Like I said, I'm going to let her handle it and if she doesn't go to someone about it then she will just have to put up with it. I'm not going to march up there and demand they fix it. She and the other two girls need to speak up. It's a 2 hour drive. I didn't want to pay $110 for nothing. She has no vehicle and who knows how far the nearest UPS was from her dorm. I did it so I wouldn't get stuck paying for the rental. (I should say she has a vehicle, but the transmission is out and it's sitting at her father's waiting for him to fix it.)...See Moremom3333
8 years agoDana Taylor
8 years agoelisanastassopulos
8 years agopocopson
8 years agoKathi Steele
8 years agoalwaysdesigning
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoNicole Mehelich
8 years agoLuis Guillermo Barragan De Anda
8 years agodebrakadabra
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoKim Sheldon_Rothe
8 years agoAnn Smitt
8 years agoAngela D
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoMelody Drinkwater Wagner
8 years agoP. Draper
8 years agoaltadavey
8 years agoSueann
8 years agoravensmom13
8 years agobmcilvain
8 years agowendyme1
8 years agosuze55
8 years agosuze55
8 years agoladydianem
8 years agoChristiane Wingert
8 years agoeward13
8 years agocmcm807423
8 years agoSherri S.
8 years agodamaton
8 years agoElizabeth Connor
8 years agotencms
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoKathi Steele
8 years agokaylynnr
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoVERMONT WOODS STUDIOS
8 years agominperkins
8 years agoUnique Design Solutions, LLC
8 years agoartsyphartsy_home_maker
8 years agoTerri Henderson
7 years agoCloset Factory
7 years agosheilaskb
7 years agolast modified: 7 years agosamybee101
7 years agolinnea56 (zone 5b Chicago)
7 years agoKathi Steele
7 years agolinnea56 (zone 5b Chicago)
7 years agoAnn Smitt
6 years agoDaniel Heller
6 years agoadevvvw
6 years agoDebbie Thomas
6 years agoornurse797
5 years agobetd
5 years ago
Related Stories
LAUNDRY ROOMSRoom of the Day: The Laundry Room No One Wants to Leave
The Hardworking Home: Ocean views, vaulted ceilings and extensive counter and storage space make this hub a joy to work in
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESRoom Doctor: 10 Things to Try When Your Room Needs a Little Something
Get a fresh perspective with these tips for improving your room’s design and decor
Full StoryBEDROOMSRoom of the Day: A Teen’s Bedroom Branches Out
This room's global bohemian style includes a chandelier inspired by a trip to India, and comfy spots to play and listen to music
Full StoryBEDROOMSRoom of the Day: A Boy’s Bedroom to Move Through Tween and Teen Years
Reorganizing the space with a new study desk, bed, seating and storage gives him room to grow
Full StoryKIDS’ SPACESSingle Design Moves That Can Transform a Child’s Room
Your children are unique and special. Why not give them a room to match?
Full StoryMODERN HOMESHouzz Tour: Builder Moves From Party House to Kid-Friendly Home
A Texas pro designs and builds a one-story home with a safe room and an unconventional layout just right for her family
Full StoryKIDS’ SPACESKids’ Room Colors and How They Can Affect Behavior
Find out how different hues can nurture sensitivity, counter restlessness and encourage confidence in children
Full StoryMOVINGBefore You Move: Declutter the Kids’ Stuff in 6 Steps
Make the move a little easier by enlisting the children’s help when it comes to packing up their stuff around the house
Full StoryHOUZZ TOURSHouzz Tour: A Compact Bungalow Makes Room for Growing Kids
When their 1927 Spanish bungalow began to shrink as their kids grew, the Roskins added square footage and more entertainment space
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDESAsk an Architect: How Can I Carve Out a New Room Without Adding On?
When it comes to creating extra room, a mezzanine or loft level can be your best friend
Full Story
FORNEY + architecture, LLC