My wife's birthday is coming up. She has been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the place. Aha, I bought her a magazine rack!

I'm wondering, eld - did you stand there holding that fork long enough to have those strands of spaghetti freeze? Hope you were well bundled up! o j

A poor woman called a radio station asking God for help. An arrogant, wealthy atheist heard her and decided to mock her. He bought a huge amount of groceries and told his secretary to deliver them. He gave her one instruction, "If she asks who sent them, tell her they came from the devil." When the groceries arrived, the woman was overjoyed and started putting everything away. The secretary asked, "Don't you want to know who sent all this?" The woman smiled and said, "Oh, there's no need. I don't care who sent it. When God gives an order, even the devil has to obey!"

What do you call a man with no shins? . . . . . Tony