I think you can plan on all the hostas growing slower in more shade. I don't think there are any that actually prefer that level of dark, other than the spring dessication problem on Frances Williams and the other variegated sieboldianas - and if I were starting out a garden now, I wouldn't bother with any of those plants anyway. There are so many good ones without the worry of that genetic defect. I just looked at an Aurora Borealis that is is deep deep shade - after our cold snap, it is a total wreck... don't know why I don't put it out of its misery. This will be a terrible year for that whole family... So rather than shade tolerance, I'd be looking at a list of the fastest growing hostas, figuring the faster ones will be slower in the shade, but will still be faster than the slower ones in the shade... and I'd look for older, less expensive, tried-and-true varieties in the size and colors you like. Plants that did well in really deep shade - meaning grew faster than average - include Squash Casserole, Abba Dabba Do, Golden Tiara, Paradigm...

To me, there's nothing wrong with mixing "high end" and lower cost, functional good-quality kitchen components. More important to me is to avoid the waste implied in buying things that will not last or that will certainly become unfashionable. I live in a working class neighborhood, mostly little 1950s houses with lots of retirees, including myself. Although our lot is on a lake, this property will NEVER command top dollar because of the settlement pattern of the community. The recession has really hurt home values here; I thought our house was $275,000 to $300,000 because of previous improvements, but I believe that it's now $220,000 and that was before we launched a major addition, geothermal, and new siding, etc. No matter what we sink into the house, it's for us, not for resale or peer pressure. We have decided to retain the 30 inch refrigerator we bought last year (an emergency purchase) but to put it in a position where a larger unit could some day fit. No wooden housing around it. We are keeping our old electric range, but are adding a portable induction burner that can be set out on the countertop to increase functionality. There is room for another oven on a wall outside our new G shaped kitchen, but I don't think I will be the one to buy it (unless my grown children move back to live nearby); a portable roaster oven will suffice to augment the baking and roasting for large gatherings. We use our outdoor gas grill in all seasons for grilling. My husband enjoys the ritual of being the griller and he shovels the access space before dinner parties. The broiler in the old range suffices if he doesn't want to venture outdoors. We are retaining our existing dishwasher. Our big innovation is to add a second sink to the kitchen. All sinks and appliances are white. My muse is the idea of a "workshop kitchen." I am not trying to reproduce any particular theme, unless it is a farm kitchen that processes a lot of food in season. I do hope to make the kitchen work as a functional, welcoming space for myself and husband now that we're empty nesters and for events when we have visitors, whether large or small groups. Laminate for countertops is sufficient and my ego does not require anything more dazzling on the countertops, although there will be slabs of butcherblock on either side of the stove. Hubby decided to go with hardwood floor and install it and finish it himself, although I was ready to order the vinyl. We have found a local cabinetmaker who said he would meet the price of a sample plan of readymade cabinets from the Big Box home stores. Now, we're adding custom touches to the cabinetry plans, not in decorative features but real utility features, such as tapping the space that was wasted in "spacers" between boxes. All materials are American made, or American harvested. Except for the old siding and walls and flooring, very little is going to the landfill. Furnace went to the scrap metal guy. My own eccentricities will add all the "pop" and pizzaz that this kitchen will need. Fabric, color, laminate choice, color of stain, art, displays of collections-- a creative outlet without a high end price tag. We have splurged on a bank of windows and a few light fixtures (No, we're not putting in "cans" because the ceiling feeds to an attic where we're fighting heat loss.) We are working very hard to live within our means, following the requirements of good sense and ignoring consumer manias. When I get myself too fired up about making a more upscale purchase, I remind myself that the photos, the ad copy, the home shows and the open houses, are all there to facilitate SELLING, not living. Here in Minnesota, where granite is quarried, I know that some of the rock countertops are fairly reasonable, but as I have declared elsewhere on this forum, I refuse to purchase anything that is sold with a "how to care for it" bottle of something and some warnings about how to protect the finish. In many ways, by definition, I am free from the pressures that other posters feel in order to keep up with the neighborhood, to make a kitchen that defines a house value, or to prepare for the brutal house market. I don't envy the young and broke. But I was there once and I not only survived but thrived on it. The original kitchen in this house was painted baby blue without concern for the cathair? gobs in the paint and the kitchen 'table' had a hinge so we could access the refrigerator. My hubby and my carpenter father and a different local cabinetmaker came up with a sufficient re-do that we have appreciated since right before the Bicentennial. I raised two sensible daughters in that modest kitchen. This doesn't mean I'm not agonizing over choices today, though. "Leave me alone, I'm thinking!" is a common mantra right now. Today's musing: Do I want to order fancier cupboard doors? It's always something. Enjoy your day. Florantha

Bonnie, It only gets better when they get older if they are taught from the beginning HOW to behave properly. If they are allowed to treat people like crap, they won't wake up one morning & realize they shouldn't act that way. However if the parents are drilling into them to treat people nice, they may wake up one day & realize the parents were right. Usually it happens when they become parents themselves. (and maybe they appreciate or realize how hard it is to be a stepparent when they become one or see a situation that opens their eyes to it) As you can see in other threads, every kid & every situation is different. I read Pseudo's thread where her SD has an about face & now wants to be "friends" with Pseudo after years of animosity. My first inclination is that the SD is going to use her "friendliness" with SM as a weapon to hurt a mom she is angry at, rather than an epiphany that she now realizes how great SM is and loves her for it. I'm not saying she doesn't realize how great Pseudo is, because she does realize Pseudo doesn't treat her as bad as her own mom... but in my opinion, it's more likely a manipulation. My point is that kids do get older & figure things out, form their own opinions, and maybe even stick up for themselves.... but do you really want to go through what Pseudo is going through? Or JustNotMartha? Or me? or any of the other SM's that are in similar situations? We all had the best intentions, have given endlessly & ended up, in one way or another, stressed out & frustrated. and the stress takes it's toll... on our relationships, physical health, mental health, and quality of work. I'm envious of those that can toss back a few drinks, even though I abstain from alcohol because my mom is an alcoholic & I have health problems I don't want to make worse... but I've been on medication, take stress management, go to counseling, and have gained weight because I'm a stress eater. For me, it just keeps getting worse. My SD is 12 now. She knows her mom is full of BS. She knows all I've done for her. But, there are people in their 30's, 40's, and older that can STILL be manipulated. There is no magical age where that ends... it ends when a person decides they are being manipulated and no longer wants to allow someone else to manipulate them. My SD's grandma is in her 70's and still allows BM to tell her what to do. That is what dysfunction is all about. Perhaps there is something in your past that draws you into the situation because that is where you're comfortable?

I totally understand the snowballing effect...its amazing how a cracked sidewalk leads to total makeover! We (sadly) had our front door kicked in from a robbery. The experts are saying we have to replace our entire sidelight/transom b/c there is also a small crack in the door jamb. So my trying to figure out what do replace it with has lead me to doing something about my white garage doors, some dingy trim, some over-grown bushes, etc. From what I recall hearing about columns, they are not all that expensive and even inexpensive ones look fine. I'm sure our builder but in the cheapest column he could find that would look decent but they look perfectly fine, are holding up well. And if you are re-doing the front stoop, aren't you going to have to replace the columns and railing anyway? You will have a beautiful new stoop with lovely stone but the old thin columns and railings. I think new thicked columns will enhance your pretty porch and door, and in fact with the new stuff might make the columns look even more in need of replacement (snowball effect!!). If you don't know much about landscape/gardening (I don't!) I think the most important thing is to have a plan from the beginning. I would consult with a landscape desiger to give you drawings for a long-term plan. That way you can put in new plants over time when you're not spending so much now. Ask the designer which should go in first and then add a few each year. Thats what we did 13 years ago and it was a worthwhile decision even though at the time I didn't want to spend the money for the plans. Good luch with all your decisions! I hope to post some pictures of our exterior in the next week or so..if it ever stops raining here.