Cheese and crusty bread, plus fruit.

I love your thought of pasta as the first course, so traditionally Italian. Keep the portions small. I hope you will have kitchen help as plating multiple courses is a lot to do. Do you know what will be on the plate with the beef? Spinach fettuccine with mushrooms, proscuitto, peas and cream has an element of spring. Looking forward to hearing more as your plans develop.

I can never manage soup, pasta, bread or risotto as a starter. I'm too full to eat a main afterwards. I agree to use the shrimp or some other fishy thing. I like a smoked fish paté with thin brown toast. Personally I don't like mixing seafood with meat. Good quality ingredients stand on their own. Mixing them up detracts from both imo.

How about some stuffed mushroom caps?

One of my favorites is half a small avocado sliced into a fan-very elegant looking- with a spoon of Balsamic vinegar over the top. You and fan a strawberry as well or a few large green grapes.

Back in my youth I loved to horrify friends by serving multi course meals. All that training needed an outlet.

patricia

I'd want something light...so as to save room for the main course. Maybe little spinach & cream cheese roll ups.....just finger food.

Agree pasta can be filling for some. I do like Annie’s suggestion of stuffed mushrooms.

I love a steamed artichoke.

Does everyone like mushrooms though? I don't.

People who are served something they dislike or cannot eat can say no thank you.

This is why it's impossible to please everyone and why I don't do dinner parties. I much prefer to go out to eat with friends so we can all choose what we want to eat.

I don't like mushrooms either.

I would love pasta as first course because I do not like steak either, so I'd prefer to have the pasta and then I'd eat the side dishes at the main course.

Two or three small lobster ravioli with a light, lemony sauce. Another suggestion is scallops- again, keep the serving small

You cant please everyone...Well no. We the guest are supposed to just let a course go. You arent going to starve after all. You fiddle the food and move on. People used to get taught these social nuances. I was. When you plan a dinner party you should make sure of your guests. Back in the day you would know because people did dinner parties and you knew your friends. These days, well lord help you.

patriciae

Scallops, while delicious, require you to stand over the stove and cook fast. Not easy while hosting. I always do a cold starter or something which can be kept hot. Same for desserts.

Nicole’s pic of the rollups made me think of these little puff pastry pinwheels with garlic, herbs and Parmesan.

Oh, those look wonderful.

patriciae

I love mushrooms and seafood but know several people who don’t eat one or the other. They seem to be the most common disliked foods. So, while it’s easy to say a guest can just say No thank you, that is an awkward position to put them in when it’s the first course and nothing else on the plate to allow them to try to hide the fact they aren’t eating them., or to reject the serving and sit without having anything on their plate while others finish the first course.

Even tho salad has been rejected as an option, it doesn’t have to be a tossed green salad. There are so many interesting ways to serve different vegetables as a salad course. And they can be so beauiful. Maybe a small slice of a vegetable terrine?

Scallops can be an issue for some people who are allergic to seafood. Nothing is easy!

I haven't made these but there are a lot of apps that can be made with puff pastry in a mini muffin pan, so something like these? Cranberry brie bites....

https://www.wellplated.com/brie-bites/#wprm-recipe-container-44657

If you serve a pasta first course, I would do one large ravioli with a sauce. Or you can combine pasta and soup and serve angolotti en brodo. A small serving with a really flavorful broth is a great 1st course.

When you have a dinner you the host and the other guests are not supposed to be judging and weighing the other guests. That is how a dinner party works. It solves the issue of what one person doesn't like. It really is that simple. That person fudges around their food until the next course. Really. Read Emily Post or who ever. Back in the day no one ran a menu by the guests. People who did dinner parties would keep a book of the likes and dislikes of important guests and everyone else sucked it up because no one was actually going to starve to death.

patriciae

I agree but there’s no reason to serve things that may cause awkwardness to your guests if it’s something that is impossible to fudge around, as you call it.

Nowadays, it's different. It's not just that people dislike something (me not a fan of liver!) but that, like my cousin with celiac, if he gets gluten at all, he can end up in the hospital, so as a host, I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for that. So whenever I have co. I ask about dietary restrictions. I have come up with some oddballs too, like one is allergic to walnuts but no other kinds of nuts, another is allergic to arugula, and another isn't celiac but is allergic to wheat. Go figure.

The hard one was when my cousin came over who because of meds she's on has to avoid Vit K. That was rough as it's in so many healthy things. I think I ended up with carrots as they are supposed to be ok.

" Back in the day you would know because people did dinner parties and you knew your friends. These days, well lord help you. "

and

" Back in the day no one ran a menu by the guests. People who did dinner parties would keep a book of the likes and dislikes of important guests and everyone else sucked it up "

There's a message here and I'm not sure what it is. Do you often have friends over for dinner? Your comments suggest you don't or, alternatively, you don't like to.

We don't find it hard to make a starting list of what we may want to serve and then check around to see if people would enjoy or not enjoy specific items. My concept of being a host is that one accommodates guests, not the other way around. It isn't that hard.

I love surf and turf. I also like the idea of serving ravioli as the first course. Brings back memories of eating in real Italian restaurants run by actual Italians growing up.

When I am inviting someone new to dinner I do ask if they have any food restrictions but I never actually share the menu. Fortunately my friends enjoy pretty much anything. I am happy to accommodate allergies or real health issues celiac, diabetic etc. Not about to cater to picky eaters with imaginary "intolerances".

Something I haven't seen mentioned is a bruschetta. Endless possibilities, but a classic tomato and basil -- with or without mozzarella, is always good.

What about a tomato salad and a french baguette to dip in the juices? Tomato salad is simply juicy tomatoes cut in chunks, very thin red onion slices, jalapeño peppers cut in very thin rings, and chopped garlic, with a dressing of evoo, red wine vinegar, salt, and dried oregano, served in bowls. Bread is traditionally torn but can be sliced for an occasion like yours.

It is absolutely delicious and given your menu, perfection! It can be left in individual bowls until serving time, thus freeing you to be with your guests. I have served it a thousand times to rave reviews.

If you want to go Italian, then it has to be Anti pasti. It always precedes the pasta!.Great for a party as you can prepare it in advance.

https://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/dishtype/antipasti/

I don't know many women who can manage the quantities of a traditional meal any more.... anti pasti, pasta, or soups then the main course.

If you want to go French, then it's usually something like :

A selection of veggies and salads. NOT cheese - that's for the salad course after your beef.

Or something like fish rillettes served with slices of bread

https://www.marmiton.org/recettes/recette_rillette-aux-deux-saumons_11739.aspx

or a cassoulette of fish - you can pop it in the oven just beore serving Or this one that looks so elegant and delicious https://www.lesrecettesdevirginie.com/2017/07/mousseline-de-poisson-et-sauce-aux-crevettes.html

Have fun!!!

Escargot.

Coquille St Jacques.

Otherwise, I’m thinking a halved, seeded, roasted tomato stuffed with bread crumbs and chevre.

Coquilles St Jacques, being scallops, are stand over the stove last minute cooking.

Cookie issues again with the salmon rillets recipe but it's essentially a fish paté which would definitely appeal to me.

I often serve stuffed tomatoes as an accompaniment to a meal, but never as a first course. It’s not substantial enough alone to serve as a starter IMO, and there are lots of people who simply don’t like tomatoes. That would make it awkward for them if they did not eat any of it.

I like the idea of one big or two slightly smaller sized ravioli, but I would serve them toasted with just a bit of drizzled sauce (or balsamic reduction) —which requires pulling out of the oven just before plating.

Stuffed mushrooms or crabcakes are other choices. I personally do not eat crabcakes but I could make it look like I tried it.. I would, however, want a new fork if there were a salad course to follow. Do you have a server for this dinner party?

Personally I don't want my starters to be substantial. Just a few mouthfuls of something delicious. Stuffed tomatoes don't really seem special enough though, and if filled with breadcrumbs they'd be too filling for me. They'd be a meal in themselves.

My stuffed tomatoes are a combination of cheeses, minced onions and garlic and grated zucchini bound together with an egg and breadcrumbs. But I use small campari tomatoes to stuff instead of the often flavorless larger tomatoes. One small campari, regardless of the deliciousness of the stuffing, is not substantial enough to present on a plate IMO, especially if the meal is just three courses.

This shrimp cocktail is very good. Since it is made ahead and put in the individual serving dishes, it is great to have fixed ahead.

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/mexican_shrimp_cocktail/

You cant please everyone...Well no. We the guest are supposed to just let a course go. You arent going to starve after all. You fiddle the food and move on. People used to get taught these social nuances. I was.

Of course. Anyone with any kind of manners would do just that. Anyone who cares about their host would do just that. I was just pointing out that it will be almost impossible to make everyone happy. Never insinuated anyone would starve.

It doesn't even have to be a fancy dinner party. We recently went to a friend's house for a casual dinner. She served a beef stew as the main course. I do not like red meat. I pushed the food around. Ate a couple of the vegetables from the stew which I didn't enjoy because of the beef flavor. Nobody other than my husband noticed. There was also a vegetable side which was delicious (to me). She also announced what she was serving while we were having cheese/crackers/wine so I made sure to eat more of that than I normally would.

So whenever I have co. I ask about dietary restrictions. I have come up with some oddballs too

This is so true. My DH is allergic to pine nuts. Not any other nut. It's not a life threatening allergy but it causes very odd symptoms -- several days after eating them all food tastes spoiled. The condition lasts about a week. It's very unpleasant for him. So if someone served something with pine nuts (pesto!) he would not be able to eat it at all.

Not about to cater to picky eaters with imaginary "intolerances".

I am a picky eater but I can assure you it's not imaginary. I do not expect hosts to cater to my picky eating, but to suggest that it's imaginary is just rude.

I seem to have lost a post...maybe to Danny Naugh. Anyway, not salad, but light enough to eat and have room for dinner, how about the rainbow colored carrots oven roasted with honey/ginger, maybe a drizzle of balsamic. If they are cut small and plated nicely, it could be very attractive.

I mentioned above Elmer that I used to do multi course dinners for friends. Because even in the 80's very few people did that sort of thing any more it took some hand holding and encouragement. Proper guests wont care if you use the wrong fork. I would make sure that everyone had enough to eat. That was the fear of one of my guests once. My then husband's boss. It was purely for the fun of it and an opportunity to cook things you don't normally cook. I also did formal garden parties. Hats and gloves required. My ex would dress up as the butler and serve. That was the challenge, no servants. My other comments were historic. People were more likely to have too much food rather than not enough. When you would attend elaborate dinners several times a week you might long for something simple.

patriciae

@gardener123, let us know what you decide!

I see, patricia. Maybe what seems to me as elaborate approaches to hosting some meals led to burnout for you? Or, your significant efforts were done more for the experiences you wanted to have and less so for the expectations of your guests? And guests didn't appreciate what you did as much as you hoped?

It doesn't matter. My experiences with dinner parties are that the emphasis is always on conversation and social interaction. Always very casual and food is never expected to require the hosts' elaborate efforts. If someone asked me to dress up for such a party when there was no particular occasion, I would likely decline or find the lowest possible level of compliance.

I wonder if your exclamations that I quoted are describing your own feelings and practices that changed or stopped because you didn't feel all the work was appreciated. Rather than being broad descriptions of what others did?

That shrimp cocktail recipe looks easy and delicious, sherry. Thanks.

Folks, can you please not bicker with each other? It's not really appropriate to the topic of helping the OP with menu suggestions.

Sorry. I'd asked a question about interesting comments and was surprised by the response.

I am sorry, it is not my intent to bicker. I adored doing dinner parties and my health these days doesnt allow it. I cant help some posters need to pick but I will not pick back.

patriciae

Great responses, thank you so much! So much unpack :)

@Elmer J Fudd, I’m not set on seafood as part of the entrée, but would like to serve 2 small complimentary protein portions instead of one larger portion. What else would pair well with filet? I would love to go a little out of the box with that, and keep the sides simple like roasted heirloom carrots, a roasted green veggie and some kind of potato, possibly a mash.

I love your ideas @beesneeds Maybe start with an amuse bouche?

@Michele, melon and prosciutto, a classic!

@Sheeshie, I have some help and a very efficient process. Panzanella with jalapeño…nice twist, thank you!

@pillog, thanks for the encouragement, I do think I’m on the right track… now it’s nailing the pairings! About the “fork”, I meant I didn’t want finger food. Knives welcome too!

@jojoco Asparagus spears wrapped in prosciutto sounds fresh, I wonder what spring fruit I could use instead of pear? Thinking about seasons, if it were late summer wouldn't grilled peaches with cherries with burrata sound good? Maybe with almonds or pistachios?

@foodonastump, great idea to incorporate watercress with the drunken shrimp (that looks amazing!) as a nod to a salad course. Not sure if I’ve had Risotto cakes, but it sounds delish.

@faftris instant read digital thermometer and room temp filets, I think it will be ok.

@Chartreuse Scorpion, you made me think of panzanella..

Thank you, @lisaamam definitely small portions. Spinach fettuccine with mushrooms, prosciutto, peas and cream is a contender, and would be so pretty

@floral_uk z.8/9 SW UK (love your name) paté is an idea! And thanks for the reality checks ;)

@patriciae , avocado sounds good, but avocado is tough to gauge for prime ripeness and browns so quickly. Same reason my banana cream pie always has a backup…

Goodness @Bunny, that is one small appetite!

@chloebud, for me it depends on how delicious the dish is ;) @nicole and chloe, the puff pastry and rollups look great, and they are always a hit, too.

@localeater, you’re channeling Italy too. Love artichokes too, but can be so messy.

@pkpk23 somehow I keep coming back to pasta with a light, lemony sauce…sounds so good.

@olychick, vegetable terrine! So beautiful, looking into that.

@Annie Deighnaugh, I am saving the cranberry brie bites, adding to my appetizer file. Those are some elevated mushroom caps, and they do lean into the beef, thank you. I might be reconsidering my sides, the carrot recipe looks great too. This would be a good time to thank you again for your apricot bites recipe…I think of you whenever I serve them (which is often), and they are always a hit.

@czarinalex, one large ravioli on a pretty plate could work. I could see it with pea tendrils and maybe a pea puree depending on the filling. That pesky filling choice lol.

Thank you @wildchild2x2 I do hope this will be a memorable evening with friends I won’t see for a few months as we all go separate ways for the summer.

@Islay Corbel Thank you sending those links!! I’m headed down the rabbit hole! Do you think the salad substitute course is considered antipasti? Love the Mousseline de poisson et sauce aux crevettes as well. And I have fish forks lol.

@John Liu that’s a direction I hadn’t thought of, thank you!

@Kswl toasting the ravioli is a great option, and thanks for the fork reminder.

@Sherry8aNorthAL, thank you, that is so pretty!

Apologies if I missed anyone, you all knocked it out of the park.

After the first round of responses contenders were: Ravioli with a light possibly lemony cream sauce… but what filling?

Risotto cakes

Vegetable terrines…maybe as a side if not a first course? Bonus points for being "make ahead".

Still debating if shrimp is the best choice to go along with the filet, which will help determine the starter. Can't wait to dive into the links and the later suggestions.

The side bar comments are interesting as well. I appreciate your perspectives and enjoy the collaboration, which is, after all, why we are here on GW. When it comes to hosting, the formality of my menu varies widely, as does the guest list. Food plays a big role across cultures—what we eat and how we prepare our meals are a reflection of who we are, where we come from, and our experiences along the way. After the isolation of covid, we took to hosting intimate dinner parties because we wanted to share that part of ourselves with each other. Food can jet us back to some of our happiest memories. And I am grateful that I get to share it with my GW friends as well.

And thank YOU, gardener 123, for taking the time to read and respond so thoroughly.

Ravioli is very practical as you can cook it from frozen. It's always a bonus when you can cook in advance. How about a crab ravioli if you're going to serve it with a lemony sauce?

It's rich though with the cream. You'd need to keep the sides with your beef lighter. (I'm assuming you mean beef ( filet mignon) as here that would be pork. If you want to go French, then simple roast baby new potatoes with some simple green beans. If you make sure your jus is really "top" then the simple veg will taste all the better.

Then follow with your cheese and salad, then your dessert.

The amuse bouche comes before the starter. For that, I like to make little tartlette cases with filo pastry or brick and at the last minute, fill them. That could be a tartare or beef or fish, or beetroot for veggies, with a horseradish or feta cream. Decorate with a few micro leaves and bob est ton oncle! Or fill them with a little tuna mousse with an avocado sauce on top, or a tepid cauliflower and goat's cheese purée with a half callop on top. You can cook the scallops just before your guests arrive.

So much food to eat in this world!!! Too many choices LOL Or a verrine with something delicious per person.

I have made the cranberry and brie bites. Most awesome. I served them for a Christmas meal, but they could totally work anytime.