Thinking about my personal experience years ago with 2 female yorkies who got along well for about 5 years & then suddenly didn’t with one becoming aggressive towards the other. The advice I was given is that the aggressive dog viewed herself as the alpha dog & I needed to change that to me being viewed as the alpha of our pack. Show no favoritism & don’t create situations where they might compete with me for attention. For example, when arriving home ignore them until they settle down from greeting you. No happy hellos etc. Separate food bowls for meals a good distance apart & put food down but don’t allow them to eat until you ’release’ command ok. If she gets possessive or aggressive when he approaches, instead of rewarding with treats, put her down on floor. She needs to associate her behaviour towards him as having a nice thing interrupted,. Same theory as rewarding but reverse. There are many behavior patterns that must be interrupted before they escalate. If you can find an animal behavior expert to consult - in your home even better - it would be money well spent. We looked & couldn’t find that level of help. It was a really tough situation to manage.

If she gets possessive or aggressive when he approaches, instead of rewarding with treats, put her down on floor.

she is exhibiting resource guarding behavior and YOU are the resource (instead of it being food or a toy). this ^ is excellent advice. every single time he approaches and she displays displeasure, you need to immediately put her on the floor. if she jumps back up, put her on the floor again. if you do this often enough (i.e., every single time), she will get the idea that her behavior is unacceptable.

what you don't want to do is make it a big deal. simply put her down and walk away.

i went through this with 2 great danes, both females. i brought a rescue in and my resident dane would snark at her any time she got close to the couch we were sitting on. i didn't have to say a word, i simply stood up and made her get down. over a period of 2 or 3 days, she finally learned that if she snarks at the new dog, all good things end. it wasn't long before all 3 of us were sharing the couch and they soon became best friends.

Yes, thank you both. the common wisdom has been to be to use a positive method, but obviously that has not worked for us. We have been working with a vet behaviorist and trainer, including some meds for Pete that didn’t seem to help his anxiety. I took him off the meds and he has improved a lot. Since then, his willingness to engage more is what put Sophie’s nose out of joint, and I haven’t had another meeting with the vet since that started. I suspect they are going to suggest more positive training methods. They recommend the you tuber kikopup

for training help.

I have given up on that method, and started making her get off the couch if she eyeballs him the wrong way. She looks visibly insulted and sulks for a while, lol. Last night when he came upstairs and was afraid to get up on the bed, I got up and carried her out the room and waited until he got up there before bringing her back. She doesn’t react as much if he is there first.

There is no need to establish myself as the alpha with Pete, as he is already very submissive, but sophie is a bit big for her britches.

Will post our progress.

there's nothing necessarily wrong with resistance-free training using treats and/or affection but those things don't always work with a determined dog, especially one that isn't particularly food-motivated.

there are as many methods as there are trainers whether those trainers are certified or some joe blow in his living room who thinks he's *all that*. it sounds like you're making progress so i'd just keep doing what you're doing.

one question i have for you, has sophie had any recent blood work? sometimes, sudden or prolonged aggression can be the result of a wacky thyroid. if you aren't seeing a lot of progress over the next few weeks with your training methods, before you pay a trainer to tell you things you may not agree with, it would be a good idea to have sophie checked for any health issues. thyroid values are not normally included in a simple CBC, it's something you have to specifically request.

good luck, looking forward to seeing your progress!

thanks ninapearl. she gets regular wellness checks, hw lyme listeria check, etc but not thyroid that i am aware of. thanks for the heads up on that, i will definitely keep it in mind if we don’t have some improvement. Sophie on the left.

@Joanne Such little cuties! Looks like Pete is Sophie’s ”follower” even in this picture. Please try to post updates with their relationship - I’m very interested in how things go for them.

oh, they're just adorable!! i've owned (or more accurately, been owned by) great danes for the past 17 years. now that i'm getting older, i can see a couple of small lap dogs in my distant future. at this point, i have 2 young/healthy danes who think they're lap dogs! 😂

you're welcome and yes, do keep it in mind if you continue to run into problems. it's a simple blood test that, if it shows unusual thyroid values, can be easily treated with meds.

pippin (brindle) and frank.

pippin takes "lap dog" to a whole other level. 😂

@Ninapearl Hilarious picture!

I thought my two were heavy when they’re both on top of me! so funny!

@Joanne that girl does love cuddle time! 😂

@Joanne it's been a little over a week, how is your training progressing?

Hi. thanks for asking. I think that taking Sophie off the bed or couch if she starts giving him stink eye has helped. It’s a bit early to say for certain, but she looks quite dejected when she finds out that there is nothing to gain by challenging him. Pete has become a little more confident about joining us. I’m also staying aware that I need to give her lots of attention when she is behaving herself.

i appreciate the helpful advice and will update again. 😋

oh, those sad puppy dog eyes can be so hard to resist! i'm glad your are seeing some success, keep up the good work!

Giving your beloved pet affection is something that you do on your terms, not his. If you ignore his conduct, you're telling him that it's unacceptable and that you won't pay attention to him until he's in control. Both Cocker Spaniels and French Bulldogs are among the most envious dog breeds. Even breeds like Border Collies, which are well-known for being devoted family pets, have the potential to turn into green-eyed monsters on four legs. They will only receive food and attention when they are relaxed and at ease. Fur Daddy

I’m happy to report that the situation has improved quite a bit. Sophie seems to understand that acting up will not give her the result she wants. Pete is more relaxed about joining us, which is a huge deal.

i'm so so happy to see your update, this is wonderful news!! well done, joanne!

it's been a while, how is everything going?

Things are spotty. We still have the occasional problem. Sophie has been sulking when I put her off the couch. She will go sit elsewhere and give us mournful glances. not sure how it will go longer term. I’m afraid she will see this as favoring Pete and make her more determined to guard me instead of less. We’ll see.

A question about recall: Pete comes back from the yard when called and gets a treat as a reward. He often comes right back after pottying without being called at all.

Sophie takes her sweet time and comes in when she’s good and ready because she is hunting for rabbit poop. I often walk out there with a leash and bring her back.

She will come to me inside the house when she knows I have treats but is very stubborn from outside. I’m wondering if giving her a reward when she finally decides on her own to come back is counter productive. I was hoping she would figure out that the treat is only there when she comes right away, but I don’t think she’s that smart. She is the most stubborn dog I’ve ever had.

she may be jealous of your attention to pete especially if you allow him on the couch when you have removed her. if he's up there when she isn't allowed and you are seeing this behavior from her, it would be better to restrict him, too. alternatively, if you aren't already doing it, i would allow sophie on the couch and make pete stay down while she is getting your attention.

you can do this by teaching pete "place" or "mat" or whatever other word you can think of to guide him to a special rug or bed on the floor (in the same room). give him something to occupy him (a little kong stuffed with peanut butter or cottage cheese) to take his mind off of things. if you freeze these treats overnight, they last much longer! save them for this purpose only and after a short time, he will associate "place" with a super yummy treat and will gladly scamper to the spot. you can do the very same thing with a special "place" for sophie when it's pete's turn to sit in your lap and charm your socks off.

as for her recall outside, i'm guessing that you repeatedly call her to you and she ignores you. when you train a dog to the "come" command, you should try to not give the command over and over as they soon realize that you aren't really serious about what you want and they will ignore you. i would put sophie on a very long line (30' of soft clothesline works well) when you take her out to potty. once you know for sure she is finished with her business, give her the "come" command in a happy sing songy voice and when she doesn't obey immediately (which she won't at first), gently reel her in and when she gets to you, praise praise and more praise and a treat and then head back inside. you will have to do this every single time she goes out. i know it sounds like a pain in the butt but it won't take terribly long until she gets the idea. just always make sure you set her up for success, don't let your frustration show (i know, easier said than done) but when it comes to training dogs, the more time you take to do it right every time, the quicker you will get the results you want.

thanks for coming to my ted talk. 😂

Have you tried higher value treats?

Chicken is a good one.

I used cheese for my dogs recall. I would walk the yard with him (off leash), when he "checked in" without me calling him, he got praise and cheese.

Good luck, your pups are super cute!

@Ninapearl Great TED talk! I was wondering the same thing that you explained. That is, when putting Sophie down on floor for acting possesive, maybe Pete needs to go too. Reinforcement of when mama’s not pleased, no one gets attention. Reinforcing attention to both at same time.

I usually invite Sophie back up once Pete is up, and then give her lots of pets. She spends almost all of her time with me when I’m there, so she gets a LOT of attention.

I hate to discourage Pete from seeking social contact.

After 2.5 years with us, he still won’t always come to me for a treat, I have to slowly approach him to give it, or toss it to him. When I put down his food bowl, he won’t come to it until I take away my hand and move away. He just recently stopped running away if I stood up when he was on the couch with me, and I still have to corner him most of the time when I need to pick him up. He usually runs up the stairs to the bedroom to escape.

I try to do it when it isn’t necessary and he’s next to me to avoid the chase, give him lots of pets and then put him back down, in hopes that he won’t associate it only with something unpleasant, like grooming or vet, but so far it hasn’t helped much. He often struggles and slips out of my hands even then. He’s so sweet but like a wild animal.

He would go in his bed for a kong, but I’m sure she wouldn’t stay with me unless she also had one.

He will seek to be near me if I have a throw he can go under, and will snuggle up behind my knees. He does the same at night. I think he might be cold, but he won’t wear a sweater. I can try again to get him used to one, but I like to encourage the contact.

Poor Pete, I always wonder if he is just unsocialized to a severe degree, or if he was actually abused.

I’ve tried chicken and cheese. She looks for the dog cookie when she does come in, but it’s not tempting enough to stop her sniffing around for interesting things like rabbit poop.

I do have a smaller xpen enclosure outside one of the doors, about 15 x 15, where they go out when it’s not broad daylight, or if the weather is bad. She will do her business in there, but still comes back when she’s good and ready, even when there is a treat waiting. He comes right back as soon as he’s done peeing, but won’t poop there, he only wants the big yard. I keep the pen clean, so it’s not that.

I can try the rope again. We used one before we fenced the back yard for them. I have to walk about 30 ft. from the house to get off the patio and away from the furniture, and onto the grass. I sometimes let her into the pen and let him out the other way, so he can poop. This may also cause her to get annoyed but sometimes she doesn’t notice. Yes, I’m being lazy.

thanks for the suggestions, some things I can try.

Poor Pete, I always wonder if he is just unsocialized to a severe degree, or if he was actually abused.

i think it's probably both. usually dogs that are simply unsocialized will come around after a while but sometimes, dogs that have been abused (depending on the severity and the methods) will always be wary of life in general.

one of my past danes came to me at the age of 3. she was 100% unsocialized and she was somewhat abused in that she was never allowed in the house, spent her days with the only human contact she had was when someone would pour dry kibble into a bowl outside when they remembered and then just walk away. no kind words, no pets, just nothing.

we had to literally pick her up and put her in my car. when i got home, it took her a long time before she would step down from the car and when she did, she cowered in front of me as if i was going to hit her. when i finally got her into the house, i left her collar/leash on her and pretty much left her alone. i did not approach her except to pick up her leash and take her out for potty breaks. the rest of the time, she was allowed every freedom inside including lounging on the furniture which was a totally foreign concept to her. all i did in the way of interacting with her was to talk softly and occasionally scratch her ears which she seemed to enjoy.

i would say it probably took about 2 months before she started to seek me out for attention and once she knew that all good things came from me, she became one of the most velcro dogs i've ever had.

swee' pea, the first time i ever saw her on the furniture. she looked at me as if to say "am i doing it right?" she was one of the sweetest dogs i've ever known!

pea was supposed to be a foster that i would turn back over to the rescue after i got her used to living inside and being a much loved dog. when it came right down to it, she was a foster failure. there was just no way i was going to trust anybody else with her. she gave me 6 years of fierce love and eventually, she turned into quite a social butterfly. she loved going to the farm store with me and adored all of the attention!

sometimes we just have to learn to live with their little quirks. you've done so well by pete and sophie, even if they aren't perfect, they're perfect for YOU!