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grief, taking ages to get going

last month

So, apart from a sneaky trip to the allotment to do the forbidden burning of last years prunings (tons of them), I have been very late in getting off the blocks this year. Late with everything, in fact, even winter sewing and knitting didn't really ramp up till just before Xmas so I am still deep in textile chaos. No idea why I have been such a laggard - I failed to sow all of last years seeds, failed to deal with the overwintering bulbs and tubers, failed to sort out the greenhouse (I was even going to clean all the glass Ho Ho). With no input from me, plants are growing - there are hundreds of seedlings to attend to in the greenhouse...and any moment now, I am going to have to make decisions where to put stuff. O, I had such clear and considered plans last year but once again, another year of hapless stuffing, shoehorning and squeezing the far too many plantlets is looming like a dull shadow of shame.

It is so, so easy to fill any number of little pots with seed when there is not much going on in November...but another thing altogether when each pot (there are literally hundreds) starts to fill with seedlings. For example, 3 dozen pulsatillas is bad enough...but with a dozen or so in EACH pot, I have a problem on my hands. Happens every bloody year. It is as though I am allergic to proper planning, simply winging it and making it up as I go. This happens with knitting too (looks doubtfully at horrible neckline on a sweater which has been 2 years in the knitting, yet about 30 seconds in the planning). Assuming much failure, I always sow too, too many of everything. Then viciously berate myself until I have to take to the couch with recreational substances to dull the pain. I am now waiting for either inspiration or desperation to prod me into action. Very much likely to be the latter (again).

I love my gardens but yet again, they are not going to win any prizes for presentation or style.

Please, if there are any other procrastinators and ditherers out there, join me in guilt and recriminations. It can't just be me, can it?

I am tempted to blame the unusual sodden weather - unheard of here in the east where raincoats and umbrellas are bizarre novelties.

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