I'm sure it must depend on the stage of life one is currently in. I live in a 1200 square foot farmhouse with my husband and four small children. We have very large parties with three or four other families with small children several times a month. We host all the major holidays and have a growing extended family. I literally cannot fit all the people in my house. There is nowhere to sit. There are bottlenecks in the kitchen, bathroom, and entrance areas. Usually, the children and toddlers outnumber the adults 3 or 4 - 1, and they are so loud and so boisterous that the adults can have no peace unless the kids are all outside. Since we are in California, most of the time our parties spill out into the yard and that works great because the weather is usually beautiful. But Dec-Jan and July-Aug are tough. We are building a house on a 5 acre lot right in the middle of town, and it will have a large kitchen and several large rooms for entertaining. Sometimes I worry that it will be hard to take care of, because I am used to cleaning and caring for a 2bd 1bath tiny little house. But my kitchen right now is 10x10, and I have 48" of available countertop on one side, and 5' of countertop on the other. My husband cooks as much as I do, and he loves to get all the kids in there cooking and helping him. I have a hard time being in the kitchen when everyone else is in there too. It's just too crowded and loud and I like to have everything orderly and clean before I begin cooking. I am planning a large kitchen- 15x24 or so with a small eating area included- so my husband can have one side and I can cook on the other and we don't run into each other and I don't have to clean up his mess before I start cooking. I agree that large kitchens cause the cook to walk farther and, because of the space between stations, some efficiency is sacrificed. It is true that my tiny galley kitchen is very efficient, if by efficiency you mean not having to move much to reach everything. But in my current kitchen I trip over kids and my husband and the dog and the dishes and on and on every time I turn around. I'm thinking maybe inefficiency in the form of large aisles and lots of space would be heavenly. I plan to glass in one of the porches off the kitchen and make that into a pantry/summer kitchen where my husband can make his ginger beer and fermented stuff and I can do canning and vegetable washing and large crop/batch cooking and seed starting. My in-laws are in the downsizing phase and they warn me that the extra room I am planning in my new house will be an expensive, uneccesary burden. But again, how much of the "downsizing" craze is fueled by retired people with no children left in the home? My new house will be 1700 square feet of entertaining space on the main floor, with another 1000 square feet or so of covered porches. We will put all the bedrooms in the upstairs half-story. If we need additional kid space, I will have a daylight basement that can also be finished eventually. I did design a main floor study/bath combo that can be turned into a master suite should we ever need one on the main floor. Maybe I will get in my new house and realize that it is too big. But if so I can just not finish the basement or parts of the second floor. But it would be nice to have that problem as opposed to the space limitations that I have now.

thanks for the responses. Funny thing is, that 2nd table is, I believe, a restoration hardware piece (?) and we found one used in the bay area, but couldn't get down to pick it up! Re: backsplash...there is a marble w/ some green mosaic that was popular on here for a while, but I can't find it anywhere...

The logical place to put it would be under the chandelier (after upgrading it severely.) There are charts all over the internet to help determine size and shape for a specific number of people. Google for those and then decide on shape. Tape it on the floor under the chandy with painter's tape to see which one works best in your space. Don't forget you need 38-42" of clearance all around the table for chair scoot and sit space. If you plan for a rug, it should be 38-42" larger than the table yet not run into other furniture. If you entertain larger groups only once or twice a year, you may prefer a drop leaf or extension style table for those occasions.

Benches are great for kids and I suggest having only one bench if you really want it and putting chairs at the head and end of the table along with chairs on the opposite side. You want to think about if you have guests or relatives over with health issues. Well made chairs with backs work best for them! My dining room table is similar to this and it does have a leaf for when we have several people over for dinner!