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1929spanishgw

Why do you come to Home Decorating Conversations?

1929Spanish-GW
last month
last modified: last month

The sneaker thread had me asking why do I still come back. Not in a bad way, but more in a what is it about this space that you enjoy.

I'll start.

First of all, due to illness in the family, my life is not as it was a couple years ago. There are plenty of places I can go to discuss those topics and plenty of people I can discuss them with. In fact, there's a long list of weighty subjects that I like to avoid here, or at least dip into lightly. While I tend to skip in and out, I appreaciate this space where we are connected by our underlying interest in creating with objects.

I picture the comings and goings here as the discussions we have while we're at lunch in the middle of a home project.

  • I come back here because I enjoy the perspectives, interests an lifestyles of folks here. Some are more similar to mine, some less.
  • I love that folks all over the country and across demographic divides include themselves in the discussion.
  • I come back here - as opposed to the other topical boards - because I enjoy the "home design-adjacent" conversation. How one presents goes beyond home decor.
  • I believe that having a passion for creating personal space unites us in a way that I'm not connected to some of my oldest friends. Those connections are built on history and experience that started with people while these connections started with a mutual interest.
  • I appreciate divergent perspectives and have found much of the information shared and discussed here to be helpful and informative.

Comments (75)

  • Kitchenwitch111
    last month

    I come here because my forum friends are here! I love seeing the projects, fashions and pets and how everyone jumps in to help. We are a special bunch!

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    last month

    Light-hearted escapism and to find like-minded friends in regarding home and pets and decor. I really don't have anybody else who would understand the effort put into the most minor of decor/ things or care.

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  • barncatz
    last month

    I just checked in on my Clown Pants thread and was blown away by the very smart and sensible analysis and then the incredible kindness and empathy offered to a virtual stranger.

    Also, you guys are funny and who doesn't need a laugh these days?

  • ilikefriday
    last month

    I came here because HGTV forums ended. I stay here because I find it is a more accepting and intimate space for out of the box ideas, though I do post on the other side also. This forum is good for decorating, kindness, and internet socialization.


    I think it would be fun for a bunch of forum members to get together irl but not disclose their forum names. Then try and guess who the person is based on what we know about their internet personalities. How closely do we all match IRL to our www persona?

  • Lars
    last month

    Meeting you and the SoCal group at Martinca's house back in 2019 made me more interested in visiting here, but I first started visiting this forum when I was still working as a furniture designer, and I wanted to keep up with people's design preferences. I did not especially like the Home Decorating forum, as I found it difficult to relate, and I like the people in this forum a lot better, and even more so after meeting many in person.

  • salonva
    last month

    As an aside I have met a few of the forum folk more than once. A long long time ago I met a group in NYC -from the kitchen forum. I think most are not here any more. This was probably 15 to 20 years ago ir that's possible... Trailrunner was there and I think Catwoman or cat mama now I can't recall. More recently a few meetups at Longwood thanks to Jojo.

    The funny thing is I can't recall too many of the "real" names. I think if I really try to remember I could probably come up with most, but the forum names are what really stick in my mind.

  • daki
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I discovered Gardenweb in the late 90s after we bought a house with a yard in deep shade. I then discovered the kitchen remodeling and laundry forum during our kitchen remodel in 2001 (where we removed the original stainless steel appliances from 1957 and replaced with stainless steel - not a fad as was claimed in the early 2000s). Rediscovered the kitchen forum after moving in 2004, and read it off and on until after our 2008 remodel. I eventually preferred reading just the conversations forum. Now that we moved to the PNW in 2022 and are in a home that needs a few updates, I still prefer reading this forum and have gotten so many good ideas from you all.

    Even though I mostly lurk, it is kinder. I enjoy the atmosphere, sharing, and personalities here. While the moderation is heavy handed at times, I think it is somewhat necessary to prevent some of the vitriol that can grow into an ugly mess if left unchecked.

  • bpath
    last month

    All of the above. And, as is my nature, I like that I can sit back at the ”kids’ table” and just listen in, and occasionally pop into a conversation.

  • 3katz4me
    last month

    I come here to visit with my virtual friends though I have met quite a few IRL so they don't feel so virtual any more. I first came to GW around 2000 - looking for reviews of FL washing machines. I drifted off after I bought my W/D and then came back to Kitchens when we remodeled ours. I hung around there for a long time through some cosmetic updates of the kitchen at our lake cabin. I finally had nothing more to say about kitchens and wandered around GW looking for a new home. I'm not that much into decorating but lurked here in conversations for a while and decided this would be a good place for me if the decor mavens would have me. You all welcomed me with open arms so here I am - many years later. I love you guys!!

  • carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
    last month

    FWIW, I also call the people here 'my internet friends'

  • OllieJane
    last month

    It's a habit for me since the Spike days. Started when we built our 2nd, 3rd and 4th new home and been here ever since. However, I got burned out on decorating, due to decorating 24/7 for years and now hardly venture over the the other side. Kitchens was always my favorite though.

    I am a dissenting voice on a particular subject, but I don't let it get to me. Otherwise, it would be just an echo chamber here. I know some can't emotionally handle it, but that's just how it goes. Take away politics, IMO, I'm not that different than most here. Some just cannot get past that though. I'm fine with that.

  • Allison0704
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Everything said by the OP.

    I usually visit several times a day, unless I'm busy. Mostly out of habit, or if I am bored, to see what others (most of you are posting here) are up to. I only click on threads with titles that interest me. I don't usually read names (who started a thread or who commented), unless I read something and want to know who it was. We all share common interests, like making our houses our homes, enjoy decorating and design and shopping, hearing about our dogs/cats, babies and weddings. It is a place to ask questions and get advice for a variety of more personal subjects.

    I discovered GW in 2005 researching dual fuel ranges. Made friends with a large group in BAH, we even got together for three nights in another state. DH thought I was crazy when I more or less said "I am meeting X at the airport in Y, and we are driving to Z for three nights." There was +/-20 of us (mostly women) that came from all over, some with their spouses. Our main meeting location was at one couples' private home. We had a blast. No one got drunk and no one hooked up. LOL I still hear from a few of them several days a week. X has been a BFF since then. We've been to each others' homes several times, met in other cities and met other internet friends. We text almost daily, and talk for hours several times a month. I also email with a few from Houzz.

    I've left twice, deleting my account or just taking a break, but always come back. I usually leave when Conversations gets ugly or name calling begins. I don't come here for that nonsense. If a thread takes a wrong turn, I remove notifications for that thread, if I'm receiving, and don't return. So y'all need to play nice!


    I am an introvet, but talk a lot in different circumstances. I don't post much, and they are usually short - unlike this one.

  • LynnNM
    last month

    Like so many here, I enjoy this group of such good and interesting people. I come to enjoy your projects, stories, pets, etc.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    last month

    @salonva .was that at an Indian restaurant in Soho, with Marthavila and Elizpiz too? I was at that one, back in the early 50's. 🤣


    You are all forever your screennames to me, even if i have met you in person.


    No one got drunk and no one hooked up. LOL


    I think it would be fun for a bunch of forum members to get together irl but not disclose their forum names. Then try and guess who the person is based on what we know about their internet personalities.

    One thing that is always funny is meeting a couple and needing to downplay how much you know about them, so as not to make the DH think you are like, a stalker. So you can't say, "where did you move the 'Go Sox' sign to now?" or "yes, you travelled to India a lot as an engineer, didn't you?" etc etc

  • yeonassky
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I also am a spike GW 90's gal. The op said it wonderfully. Also since I am from Canada I enjoy the cultural differences as well from the UK US etc.

    I absolutely love reading about decor clothing family pets etc etc etc.

  • Arapaho-Rd
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I came here 20+ years ago because of my interest in decorating. Actually, I landed on the decorating side, but when everyone I "knew" moved over to conversations, I followed. Maybe I am a bit naive, but I do consider the people here to be friends, in that, whenever someone needs to "talk" or someone is going through a difficult time, you can witness those who make a sincere effort to be there - maybe in words only, but sometimes those words are cherished more than anything. We've come to know each other through what is shared and I can't say how much that means, how much I've learned and how comforting it is to be a part of this group. The light is always on here : )

  • maire_cate
    last month

    So many wonderful replies, I honestly can't think of anything new to add.

    I'll keep it simple - I like it here.

  • OutsidePlaying
    last month

    1929spanish said it so perfectly. I came to Houzz in the mid 90’s to other forums long before I found this one. I looked at Gardening, Kitchens and Baths when we were building but somehow missed or wasn’t comfortable with the decorating forum.

    I have no innate decorating talent but have learned so much from reading and following along here, even though there are many decorating styles to be found. And the best part is there is so much a helpful community mind here! I’ve only met one of you in person (hi, 3katz) but feel as if I ’know’ many of you or at least your personalities.

    I usually read every day but don’t always post. Even though I’m retired, I am busy!

  • ljwrar
    last month

    I came here in the early 2000s Spike/GW era while working on a kitchen remodel. A wonderful local kitchen designer offered to help design my kitchen without charge. She really helped me, then we decided to move instead of remodel. Fortunately, she supported that decision, too!


    I come here most evenings after work as a lurker to decompress from my day, learn something new, laugh a bit, and just enjoy the conversation. Also, for all the reasons mentioned by the OP. I do chime in when I feel I can really add something.



  • bbstx
    last month

    I’m a pre-Spike person. I first came because of Glyphs. Remember when it was a part of ThatHomeSite? Some how I wandered from books into decorating. I liked the decorating advice. Then it became a paid subscription and I bailed. Then I came back when DH and I bought our second home and I gutted the kitchen. I was on the Kitchen Forum a lot during that time. When the kitchen was completed, I moved on to the Cooking Forum. Some how, I eventually stumbled into the Conversation pit. I will make occasional forays into a subject-specific forum but rarely. I feel safe here. I ”know” the people. I know whose taste I like.


    I have recently become uncomfortable with some of the snide remarks in the quasi-political threads; remarks that are along the lines of ”of course you would say that. We should have known. You always say that.” It strikes me as bullying and/or an attempt to chill conversations. I know XYZ is going to respond to certain topics in a certain way and I’m not surprised when they do. But I see no need to call them out for having done so. My iPad has a scroll button. I know how to use it.

  • Sueb20
    last month

    Speaking of meeting IRL…I do not tell my IRL friends about you people. You are like my imaginary friends. And I have oniy vaguely, a few times, mentioned this group to DH. So you can imagine my family’s surprise several years ago when we were on vacation, on the opposite end of the country, and I announced that ”dad and I are going to meet up at the bar with someone I met online.” My kids were horrified! But Mtn and her DH were harmless enough.


    So far, I haven’t met anyone else here in person but would love to make it to a get-together one of these days!


    PS I wonder how Trailrunner is.

  • carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
    last month

    Thank you, 1929Spanish, for starting this very good thread 🙂

  • Kswl
    last month

    I’m still hoping we can do a September meetup at King Arthur, that place to me is like the Vatican to practicing Catholics 🙏

  • Ida Claire
    last month

    With remarkably few exceptions, I find the regular participants here to be intelligent, interesting and interested, eloquent, humorous, and broad-minded. I've been coming here for decades and although my participation ebbs and flows, these are the reasons that I keep the site saved as a favorite.

  • jsk
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I'm here for all the reasons everyone has already said. I was actually here for a loooong time back in the day under a different name. Would frequent and post on the decorating forum. Read this one too but probably didn't post much. Read the kitchen and bath forums but I don't think I ever posted there. Too intimidating plus I wasn't do those levels of renovations but I did learn a lot. I also read the building a home forum (never posted) because I just love watching houses go up. Got sucked in that shall not be named forum that is no more and why we can't talk about certain topics here. Once that was gone, so was I for a long time. Came back recently and recognize lots of names and enjoy all the conversations, especially any decorating/remodeling and fashion. Oh and I get lots of book recommendations here too.

    When I need a break from work for a bit, this is usually where I come. I'm almost never here on weekends/holidays because I'm not at my computer.

  • nicole___
    last month

    When I saw Jilly refinished a little table with oven cleaner....I was hooked! Someone else who takes older pieces and makes them new again. I also like a lot of nicer older pieces. I don't get the disposal of brown wood trend. I love cats "and" dogs and pics of them just make me happy....so many of you willing to share your happy pet pics, such a great way to communicate how you live. And...I always have a renovation project going with one of my houses. It's not an addiction...it's upgrading. YOU understand. 😋

  • Jilly
    last month

    Aww, Nicole, that made me smile! :)

    I’m currently using it as an end table between The Olives. When I find a different end table, it’ll go back to the den.

  • SEA SEA
    last month

    Yes, all of the above.

    I appreciate the broad knowledge base here, very much. And that it is shared. Either through a question I've asked here or through a topic seach (when search used to function), I've learned so much and am always grateful for this.

    I visit often, then have to be away, so I'm not as interactive as many here are. I choose not to have the app on my phone, so I have to find the time to sit down at the computer and devote blocks of time I may not really be able to on a regular basis. I like to catch up with HDC current events.

    I do wish threads didn't have to poof though. Perhaps a -this thread has been closed- notice might suffice. I usually miss the poofed thread, then read about it after the fact, or had read it and wondered why it either went sideways or why was that taken away. In any case, I've been positively touched by many of the comments/discussions in this forum; sideways events aside. IRL, stuff like that happens too.

    I like to come here to decompress and see different perspectives. I love to see the support and kindness shared here much of the time. And the dog and cat photos.

    Maybe Jilly can share how she finds the center end on a Pound of Love skein of yarn over 50% of the time (assuming she does). I've been zoinked an awful lot lately and end up with a knotted mess of 1000+ yards of yarn. Then I have to ruminate about how all I wanted to do was crochet but I'm doing knot and blob solving instead.


  • Jilly
    last month

    SEA, I wish I could sew/crochet, but I can’t. I had to look up what Pound of Love was. Great name. :D

  • SEA SEA
    last month

    Aww, sorry Jilly. I thought I had seen you mention this yarn in a thread, perhaps a couple of months ago. Must have been someone else. But it is a great name, isn't it?

  • Jilly
    last month
    last modified: last month

    We need a sewing circle in person and you all could teach me. :)

    I can do simple pattern cross stitch and crewel (my fav), that’s pretty much it. :D

    I wonder if it was Ida who shared her crochet projects? She’s very talented!

  • chinacatpeekin
    last month

    I stumbled across this group when I was regularly scrolling through Houzz during a renovation. It just seemed the topics and conversations were to my liking. I am a relative newcomer, but have felt welcomed by this group, and I thank you! It’s become a regular habit to check in and see what’s up each morning and evening. I really enjoy the range of topics, the (mostly) kind and thoughtful answers, and feeling some connection to a group that spans the country. I live in a blue bubble (and I’m grateful for it) and find it so interesting to get a peek into other perspectives, too.

  • carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
    last month

    @ SEA SEA - I deal with lots of skeins of yarn in my work and my solution to the dysfunctional ones is to take the time to roll it up into balls first. You can usually do that from the outside, rather than vainly searching for the end inside.

  • lisaam
    last month

    I live just about 1 hour from Lexington where I belive TrailRunner is and hope she is doing well even though we don’t hear from her these days.

    This is a cozy place to learn about all kinds of stuff. I haven’t been in a place to add much to my home but there’s a set of architectural drawings living on my dining table that I hope we get going on before I age another decade. I know I will value your input then.

  • czarinalex
    last month

    I started coming here when it was I-village. I hung out mostly on the decorating forum. I'm not sure when this forum broke out from the main decorating one. I agree with all of 1929's comments. I'm generally a quiet person and my participation here reflects that. I don't comment on a lot of posts, but I enjoy reading them. I have learned a lot about so many subjects! I've been fortunate to meet many participants IRL and feel like I 'know' so many others. I would never feel comfortable posting on other forums. This place is like home.

  • jill302
    last month

    Thanks for posting this topic Spanish.


    I have been peripherally involved in forums here in some form or another for many years. I started in the iVillage or THS era, before GardenWeb. Originally came looking for help with wallpaper removal, nothing was working. Later found out my issue was that the prior owner had used super glue. I continued on as I was attracted by all the home design knowledge and kindness of my fellow posters. Loved following everyone's progress with their home projects both small and large. My discovery of Home Decorating Conversations came much later. Although I have been coming here for years, I sometimes still feel like a newbie. I keep coming back because I like my fellow posters, overall a lovely and fun group. Ignoring the occasional negative people, most of us are very kind and supportive of each. Sometimes hard to find that IRL.

  • bragu_DSM 5
    last month
    last modified: last month

    For the 'recycled threads' from six years ago ... and beyond

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    last month

    I'm thinking it was around 1999 when I first started here and there's been a lot of water under the bridge. So many people have come and gone.

  • aprilneverends
    last month

    I don't read or write that much in the past years because my life is kinda upside down; I do feel bad about it and sometimes I try changing it yet it's hard because words just don't come out, or are inappropriate somehow, or I know I can't concentrate, or I know I'm too much, or..

    yet I always come back, to you, here, in this or that manner.

    That's because people here are wise, kind, knowlegeable, insanely talented, funny, because everybody's different and I love it, because it calms me down and challenges me, because it's several levels up from usual sovial media, because it's a forum and I love forums, because interesting, because it's like another home

    Actually it's the place, maybe an only one in the world where I am an American, albeit strange and new (its been 20 years give or take of me living here, 10 since I am a citizen..I don't know why precisely this virtual spot on the map makes me feel utmost connected to this country).

    Because I miss you. Because you're part of my life. Because sailing away is hard, and sailing back is hard, and one longs for a shore, and you're part of mine.

  • deegw
    last month

    APRIL! I have been looking at old posts and seeing your name and thinking of you. I'm sorry things have been so rough lately. Cyber hugs to you.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    last month

    Because sailing away is hard, and sailing back is hard, and one longs for a shore, and you're part of mine.


    What a lovely sentiment. All the best to you, April

  • aprilneverends
    last month

    Thank you..

    I'll take all the hugs and every kind word, with gratitude, and keep them close

  • Arapaho-Rd
    last month

    I haven't read anything in a long time that was so beautifully written, April.

  • DLM2000-GW
    last month

    Oh April - my heart! As usual your words touch on so much that is felt and shared here. Wishing you peaceful sailing and know this port is always here.

  • Ally De
    last month

    Your writing captivates me April. I stop scrolling when I see your name, and I settle in to take it all in. You write with an honesty mixed with a kindness that is both rare and beautiful.


    I am so sorry it is so hard. If sharing it helps at all, you have many people here wanting to listen.

  • Allison0704
    last month

    April, I also find your words captivating, and would love to hear from you more often. Ally De said it so well.

  • jojoco
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I come here because I'm still trying to get more information about Fancy Feast cat food.


    I see our corner of the internet as a sorority of sorts (with a few welcome men,too) You all have seen me through divorce, dating, remarriage and have held my hand throughout my mom's ongoing serious medical journey. The support here is unflagging and (with only a few exceptions,) non-judgmental. You all make the world a better place.


    (Oh, and you've given good decorating advice, too.)

    Jo

  • jojoco
    last month

    April, your words are profoundly touching.

  • gardener123
    29 days ago
    last modified: 29 days ago

    Because the people on this thread have a special place in my heart. You make me think, you make me laugh, you teach me so much. I am in awe and so grateful for this community. Consider this a "like" on every post,

    @aprilneverends, you summed it up so eloquently, and demonstrated exactly what we love about HD Conversations.

  • salonva
    29 days ago

    Well I was expecting to see a spam post resurrecting this thread.............and was so happy that I was wrong. It's wonderful reading all the replies. I see I replied earlier but somehow I missed April's comment until now.

    All great contributions.