@Rusty - I have a 90+ year old dear aunt who has a framed needlework on the wall above her kitchen table that says "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life." Which I found doubly funny because her place is always immaculate to my eye.

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"? "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?) "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket." "For reading a book"? she replies. "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again. "But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

In one Rocky & Bullwinkle episode, Bullwinkle was creating paintings by whitewashing them. Rocky asked him what the title of one of them was, and Bullwinkle said, "White cows eating marshmallows in a snowstorm." Rocky then said, "Where are the marshmallows?" Bullwinkle: "The cows ate them." Rocky: "Where are the cows? Bullwinkle: "You didn't expect them to hang around after they ate the marshmallows, did you?"

really really enjoyed these today!