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Should I let Neighbor pick the fence stain color of his side of yard?

Jeff S
last year

Hi,


I'm hoping to get some advice and everyone's opinion on what's the most appropriate/respectful action regarding staining my fence. I'm building a new home and I'm having a wood fenced installed in a couple weeks between my house and the house behind me. It will be a nice wood fence stained black on my side to match my side neighbor (The exact same fence). However on the rear side of my neighbors fence, its painted a gray color. I'm paying for 100% of my fence and have no interest in asking my neighbor behind me if he would be willing to pay for his part. However, I am not sure if I should leave their side unstained, stain it black like mine or knock on their door to see if they have a preference on one or the other. Should I ask the neighbor? Should I just leave it unstained and offer to stain their side if they bring it up? Or should I just stain it to match my side? or am I just overreacting?


My neighbor is not aware we are installing a fence yet. Would love everyone's opinion as I'm just trying to do the right thing. I'm not sure what preference I have but am a little worried that if we stain his side a different color, it could show on my side but I want to be fair as well.

Comments (37)

  • millworkman
    last year

    Has the relationship been acrimonious so far? Has their been any interaction of any sort? You do not have to but being new to the neighborhood and a new neighbor I would probably speak with him about it.

    Jeff S thanked millworkman
  • PRO
    Beth H. :
    last year
    last modified: last year

    so you're using a cedar? natural wood will gray over time w/o some type of varnish. staining it is not enough.

    You say you aren't interested in asking for him to pay a portion, but don't know if you should stain his side? Will it cost you extra?

    what's currently there? nothing? both your yards just meet 'up' ?


    At the very least, you should inform him of the fence and that one side is going to face his property. Ask him if he would like it varnished or stained (because without it, it will weather. and weathering on his side will eventually affect your side)

    If no other fence on his property is black, it's prob not going to look right. (what's on his other two sides?

    Just talk to the person and see what they say. that should have been the first thing you do.

    Jeff S thanked Beth H. :
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  • Jeff S
    Original Author
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Yes, I believe it is Cedar. Staining his side will cost me extra but that's okay. I'd rather keep a neighbor happy. It will be on my side of the property line. Both of our yards just meet up, there is nothing there other than some trees on his side that doesn't interfere with the fence. There is the same fence on his neighbor but they stained (maybe painted) it gray so he may want it to match that. His other neighbor does not have a fence. There is no other fence on his property today.


    I tend to overthink things so wasn't sure if I should even worry about it but sounds like I should just let him know and offer it. I have not met them yet.

  • kandrewspa
    last year

    How close is their house going to be to the fence? Is this a small urban lot or a large suburban lot? Unless they're going to be right on top of it I don't know why it would matter to them. They can always plant bushes in front of it if they don't like it, but it's nice of you to be thinking of them. If you feel like asking for their opinion and it's not going to cost you anything extra then by all means buy yourself some good will and ask.

  • elcieg
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Here, when a privacy fence is installed, the polite rule of thumb is to give the neighbor the better side.




    A stained fence...how do they stain the one side black and not have it drip through the slats?

  • Jeff S
    Original Author
    last year

    @kandrewspa the lots are pretty small, his lot is probably only .25 acres. Our property line divides the two neighborhoods. His is older (houses built in 1990s) and mine is newer (all houses on my street built in last 5 years). My lot used to be 20 ft of shrubs so they basically lost all their privacy because our lot was cleared. I'm hoping they will be happy to hear that we are installing a privacy fence.

  • Gailan -
    last year

    I would check with the nieghbor first. If you stain their side, you are committing them to re-staining it when needed unless you are willing to do that for them down the road.

  • PRO
    Beth H. :
    last year
    last modified: last year

    uh, I disagree w/that etiquette rule. If I'm paying for a fence on MY property, why would I give my neighbor the 'pretty' side? Sorry, but it's my property. if the neighbor wants to chip in to make his side 'prettier', he can surely do that. He's the one that's getting something for nothing.

    also, you can make both sides of the fence nice looking. just depends what someone wants to spend.


    even these are nice looking on both sides.




    a simple dog ear cedar is the cheapest. this would be the 'ugly side'. but one could always nail up cedar boards on this side too.







    As for the stain color, just ask him. maybe he doesn't care what color it is. but putting on two diff stains will take some careful work. Personally I'd stain the boards BEFORE they get nailed up just because you have two diff colors. (if he doesn't mind the black, then it doesn't matter) .

  • anj_p
    last year

    I would read your city/county whatever code. The previous city I lived in, fences were installed entirely on the owner's property (so were inset from the property line) and the nice side had to face the neighbor (not a rule of thumb, an absolute requirement). Neighbor input/approval to install the fence was not required.

    In my current city the fences are installed on the property line, and neighbors share the cost. Neighbors are also required to sign off on the fence. I don't recall whether the nice side has to face the neighbor or not (we are required to do black wrought iron in our neighborhood so it doesn't really matter).

    If your city does not have requirements for this (which would be hard to believe), I would ask your neighbor what they would prefer for their side, and clarify that whatever is done will need to be maintained by them.

  • PRO
    Beth H. :
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Also, get a product w/UV protectant. I like the marine product from Penofin if you want stain/sealer in one. I used the Ebony for my exterior oak door. (however, if you want really black, I'd use a good black gel stain first, and then for the second coat use the Penofin Verde in Ebony. I used General Finishes Gel in black on my oak door, and then went over that w/the Ebony stain color in this Verde oil.





    Jeff S thanked Beth H. :
  • PRO
    Beth H. :
    last year
    last modified: last year

    good point about codes.

    here in Calif:

    Under California’s Building Code, you must obtain a permit before building a fence that will be over 6 feet tall unless the top 2 feet of the fence will be barbed wire. For a front yard fence, the maximum height is 42 inches. For a backyard fence, the maximum height is 72 inches. If you’re sharing a fence with a neighbor, your fence must be a minimum of 60 inches high and be free of gaps that a small child might pass through.

    Part of California fence law, California Civil Code 841, describes the rights and responsibilities of those who share a fence along a mutual boundary line. While each neighbor may only see one side of the fence, this particular portion of California law outlines basic etiquette that each neighbor must uphold.

    Under this fence law, anyone who plans to conduct maintenance or replacement of a shared fence must inform all impacted property owners at least 30 days in advance. This is because adjoining landowners are equally responsible for the costs of construction, maintenance, and any needed replacement of the fence.

    If you’re planning on building or replacing a shared fence, you must send a letter to the other impacted homeowners. This letter is known as a good neighbor fence letter and should include:

    • A description of the problem: This helps them understand why you’re building, fixing, or replacing the fence.
    • A solution to the problem: A clear explanation of how your action will correct the problem.
    • The timeline: Explain how long the repair or replacement will take and what they can expect.
    • Space for signatures: Include your signature and the date and leave room for their signature

    Doesn't say anything about the the 'good side' facing the neighbor. Some states do have this rule, others do not.

    I would just pick a fence design that is pleasant on both sides.

    And, most codes will also require the neighbor to pay a portion for upkeep and such. If you don't want any money from the neighbor, I would have papers drawn up that outline everything with him signing it (with a witness). down the road you don't want to be sued.

    So make sure it's on your property, he's been notified, he signs off on anything that could bite you in the butt later on.

  • sugarcakes2
    last year

    It would be really nice of you to ask the neighbors.  In a previous home our neighbors put up a really cheap, ugly fence and it made me sad because if they had just told us we would have been happy to chip in for something better.  In our current home the adjacent land owner put up a horrible chain link fence right after we moved in and now we are stuck looking at it until our landscaping grows in.  Because of the way our lot is, it would be difficult to have enough access to put up another fence with that one there. Again, wr would have been willing to split the bill for something nicer.


    I think leaving it unstained and letting them know you're fine with them staining it at some future point would be ok too.

  • PRO
    Mark Bischak, Architect
    last year

    I have not read the other comments; but it seems like giving your neighbor the option between you staining both sides the color you want, or they can stain their side any color they want, would be fair.

  • PRO
    Beth H. :
    last year

    sugarcakes, check your local city codes. a lot of them specify the owner MUST contact the nieghbor first. maybe you can do something about the chainlink.

  • gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
    last year

    Check the code requirements for your area. They will differ from location to location. Here, if the fence is within your property lines, you are under no obligation to inform any neighbors of what you are doing (any HOA regulations aside) or consult with them about style of fencing or color of any stain or paint. It is fully on your property so they have NO input. Nor will they be expected to contribute to cost or ongoing maintenance any more than if it was your garage or garden shed!

    btw, check out what a "good neighbor fence" is if this is a shared or property line situation.

  • tvq1
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I haven't read all the comments, but RE: "The Nice Side" of the fence--in our former home our wood "dog ear" cedar fence alternated nice sections and back side sections--fair to both parties. We each painted our side the color of our choice. (Edited to add: we each paid half for the fence)

    And to the OP Jeff S: You are sure to be a very welcome neighbor--if only all new neighbors were so thoughtful!

  • PRO
    Patricia Colwell Consulting
    last year

    IMO the fence facing his property is not up to you you decide . Yes in many places the good side of a fence you put up faces the neighbor so think about that and be ready IMO to add more panels to your side to make it look good and leave the neighbor to do whatever he wants on his side

  • WestCoast Hopeful
    last year

    We built new and fenced both sides of our lot. We didn’t stain our side. One neighbour did his and it has zero impact on us. Both sides of the fence look the same and are nice. I wouldn’t dream of telling a neighbour what their side, that faces them and not me, should look like. Our fence is straight d

  • WestCoast Hopeful
    last year

    Down the property line.

  • freedomplace1
    last year

    I think it is just a courtesy to approach the neighbor and make the option available. Ultimately, you have nothing to do with what the neighbor does with their side of this fence. However, since the neighbor is at this point unaware that a fence is going to be showing up - informing the neighbor that you plan to put one up - as well as offering to stain their side in any finish they prefer - would be very gracious. The neighbor would probably appreciate the thoughtfulness. At the same, they may or may not want you doing anything on their property or to their side of this fence; and that would totally be their prerogative, too.

  • HU-332092608
    last year

    of course ask the neighbor!

  • HU-996389822
    last year

    If you are concerned about security, you want the nice side facing out. Harder to climb.

  • Diane
    last year

    Some municipalities require the nice side to be out and the “ugly” side to be in. Best way around is a fence that alternates the boards or use a different material.

  • RedRyder
    last year

    Think about what you want to do, then talk to your neighbor about your plans. Have a plan but be considerate of your neighbor’s suggestions or requests. Ultimately, it’s your fence but between the municipality’s rules, your plans and keeping a neighbor happy, I would start with a plan. Being indecisive can end up being unattractive and you not being happy.

    Good neighbors talk to each other.

  • millworkman
    last year

    You thinking about a pool at some point? The good side will have to out then so that kids cannot use the backside horizontal boards as a ladder to climb over the fence. I think this is pretty much a universal code.

  • hollyhobbyist
    last year

    1) I would check your local code/ordinances. 2) I would advise the neighbor what you plan to do. 3) I would paint both sides of the fence the same. I'm not sure what material you are using, but we have put up a LOT of split rail fencing. It requires fence paint, and would NOT last if left unpainted. It actually needs a couple of coats, and occasional recoating to enhance the longevity. If you let them choose the color, they should pay for (at least) the paint. But will they maintain their side? What if they will, but they sell, and the new owner doesn't? I think you are being very conscientious, but if it were up to me, I would pull the fence back from the property line a few inches, paint it one color, both sides, and maintain it. We were fortunate to have one neighbor share the cost (fence, paint, labor) for one side of our property, but would have gone ahead and done what we were planning regardless of their opinion. Your property, your dollars, your decision, but respectfully let them know, and check with local authorities. If they don't like your choices, too bad. They can put up their own fence with the color of their choosing, or plant shrubs and trees.

  • charles kidder
    last year

    I've stained a 6' tall privacy fence and my deck several times. Both made from pressure treated southern yellow pine. You need to wait a few years to stain. If the wood is wet, the stain doesn't stain. It just puts a layer on top of the wood. Eventually some of it wears off. The wood needs to have turned grey and dried out. Not sure if this is true with the wood you're using or maybe you're using a special kind of stain, but you might want to wait a few years before deciding what to stain with.


    The side with the studs showing should be on the inside. Otherwise it looks funny.


    Don't offer the neighbors anything. If they ask if they can stain their side, then maybe let them do it. Because otherwise, they may feel they share the fence with you and can do what they please. Might decide on fencing their yard and using your fence as part of their fence. If their fence isn't constructed properly, it can pull down your fence. I've seen it many times.

  • anj_p
    last year

    Seems like a lot of people don't read the codes in their area, or they maybe do not live somewhere governed by codes. If a fence is on a property line it is shared and the neighbor should be approving it, will be allowed to do what they want to it AND will be required to maintain it. They are also able to use that part of it for their own fence if they decide to construct it. In that case the neighbor typically pays half of the fence cost for the portion that is shared.

    If the fence is inside your property you either need to set it far enough inside to maintain both sides or make some concessions with your neighbors to either trespass on their property to maintain it, or have them maintain it themselves.

    Read the applicable code in your area.

  • 3onthetree
    last year

    You are trying to do the right thing. What is the right thing if the neighbor decides the style of fence you are building is not to their liking? What if they want it lower to not block sun? What if they want it painted pink, or a random pattern of alternating colors for each picket and how paint is not good for cedar? What if they want to hang large things on it compromising it's integrity?

    The first of the comments were optimistic, as are you. The latter comments reflect more of what most neighbors in these situations are like, especially ones that had their backyard view changed (humans=change=bad). Be prepared mentally and know your stance for both scenarios (lassez faire vs angry against the world). Either scenario the saying applies - fences make good neighbors. In this case don't forget it is your fence.

  • RNmomof2 zone 5
    last year

    I have never seen a black stained fence. Do these go with the black/white house trends? Do they not fade fast?

  • WestCoast Hopeful
    last year

    Tons of dark stained fences here. Very common.

  • RNmomof2 zone 5
    last year

    Must not have made it to the Midwest yet. You know, we are slow to get everything!

  • Tara
    last year

    This is the perfect time to get to know your neighbor. Who knows? You might become fast friends.

  • elcieg
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Etiquette isn't a rule; it's a code of behavior. Here on Cape Cod giving your neighbor the better side of the privacy fence is tradition...the expected. Just saying....

    Anyway, the fences wind up being covered with climbers, which spill over the top. In the end, both sides win. I have autumn clematis mixed with cherry laurel.




    I just became aware of evergreen clematis.



  • blfenton
    last year

    I'm assuming that a property survey has been done with the markers being visible so that the back neighbour can't dispute where the fence is being built.

  • ptreckel
    last year

    I understand yours is a wooden fence. I installed an extruded aluminum fence. Notified my side neighbors. Also installed a nice ornamental gate along the side where one neighbor’s yard abuts mine. (I have a pin in the latch.). While he wasn’t happy that a nice, black metal fence was installed…I have noted that he often posts photos of my fence and my yard through the fence, with the gate quite visible, on Facebook! So…good fences make good neighbors! Just saying….Frost had it right. And your instinct is right, too!

  • artemis78
    last year
    last modified: last year

    The last two fences we've built have been good neighbor fences, where there is no good or bad side. The cost wasn't much more than a standard fence, so that's worth doing if you don't plan to follow the basic "good side faces the neighbor" etiquette. We have one that the neighboring building's HOA built and paid for where the bad side faces us, but we didn't really care because they paid for it. (In California the law expects that each neighbor pays 50% of the cost, so that's unusual.) I will say I was still pretty annoyed when they replaced that fence because we live in an urban area and went to let our dog out one day only to discover that we no longer had a fenced backyard (and wouldn't for the next three days). Sure, it was great that we didn't have to pay, but basic courtesy (and in our case, local law!) says you still need to give people a heads up.

    I would definitely consider building it on the property line rather than fully on your property, though. Even if the neighbor is aware that the slice of land on the opposite side of the fence is technically yours, they're likely to absorb it into their yard in practice because there's a fence there, and a future neighbor might not be aware since most places the practice is to put the fence on the property line. You are also responsible for maintaining both sides of the fence (and the section of yard on the other side) if it's in your yard, too, whereas if you put it on the line, they maintain their side. Is there a compelling reason not to build it there?