Mom moved out Daughter moving in Completely new everything Help !!!
Nicole Charlene Davis
last year
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Moving Mom- hope we both survive
Comments (11)This is not my mother's long time home, that was sold years ago. It is a long time apartment and the last place that she lived with dad, who has been gone 8 years. When they sold that house I got all the family heirlooms. The kinds of things I want her to get rid of are 24 glass pickle jars. Wouldn't 6 be enough? A zillion plastic margerine containers. 8 dress raincoats (we are keeping 6), Shoes with too high of heels for her to wear anymore. Double sheets when she hasn't had a double bed for decades. The ratty towels and blankets when she has dozen of nice ones that are "too good to use". It is independent living. She can come and go as she pleases. She can have one to 2 meals a day if she wants. She has a full kitchen and she does enjoy cooking. There is a handicapped shower. She has had nothing but a sponge bath for several years because she is afraid of falling in the tub. It has a large bedroom and lots of closets and storage. It is an apartment with amenities. Someone who comes in and does light housekeeping once a week. A handyman to change a light bulb or hang a picture. (She hates to ask dh, thinks she is imposing. At her current apartment there use to be the maintenance man who went above and beyond his duties for her. The apartment building changed hands and she now has typical landlords. Change your own furnace filter and light bulbs.) And the most important thing, is social contact with someone besides me. She cannot walk like she use to and misses all the people she use to chat with on her walks. There are people that she knows that live at the independenet living apartments. People leave their door open and visit. They have transportation to her favorite grocery store every other week. I will continue to take her on the off weeks. It is a few miles closer to me. It is not in the same town, but the immediately adjacent town. If you are not from the area you think they are the same city, much to the annoyance of residents. She is getting forgetful. She is falling. She starts her walks at dusk, no concept of time. This move is for my peace of mind, and hopefully a new lease on life for her. I sure hope so, 'cause my grandma lived to 96 and if mom lives that long she needs a change. This just sounds like I am trying to justify moving her. Not only to I want what is best for her but what is good for me and my family, too....See MoreMom with dementia upset about move
Comments (66)My mom has had Dementia for a while and she moved from an apartment to a room and board where she wasn’t taking her meds, never changing clothes, showering etc and had a small dog that she loved but was neglected and she would forget to feed etc. i ended up going to take care of her once a week, give her a bath, change her clothes, clean her room and take care of her dog. the Dementia grew worse. She would call the police 3-4 times a day, accused me of stealing from her and that the ppl at her room and board were poisoning her. They finally kicked her out and after I had been looking for months to find a semi-affordable assisted living/memory care facility that I will have to help pay for due to her limited funds, I was able to move her there and had to tell her the dog would join her another day because she said she wanted to live in the street with her dog. She’s not not been there a week and attempted to leave multiple times, continues to ask for her dog and leaves me awful messages that she’s gonna have me arrested, that she hates it there and that I’m dead to her. Doctors are going to increase or change her meds to assist with her anxiety. It’s been draining, and depressing- I am her only child and I have spent so much time taking care of her and all I get in return is vulgar words, messages and accusations - and all the while I am working extra to pay for her damn care while I have a family of my own and the money I pay for her is taking away from my own kids. It’s painful....it’s comforting to see others on here with similar stories of how awful loved become with Dementia.......See MoreMy daughter has moved out of the house and wants
Comments (33)Don't cut off all contact with your children, always remember them at their birthdays with a phone call and a card with $5-$10 dollars in it. Just concentrate on getting your own head together. It is now time for you, so even if you have to deal with the kids, you can do it in a calm rational manner. Like stated above, try going to a house of worship, take craft classes, yoga classes or something through your park district to occupy your time. You don't say if you have a job, if you don't, get one, at least a part time job, to get out of the house. That way you will have a little spending money to buy some new clothes. Don't let anyone talk you out of it either. Good luck! You can do it....See MoreDad Moved Away...And Moved On: Daughter Left Behind
Comments (6)This is the classic damage that happens to children from divorce. This is why its so important for parents to EXPLAIN TO KIDS why things are happening. kids tend to blame themselves for everything around them because at their age they cannot grasp reality and societies ways of life. Thank God my husband always explains to his kids. WHy he left their mother, why he cannot go back with her. He always explains. There is alot of facts missing from your explaination. There are many reasons a father could have left. One usual reason is the deep seeded hate for the ex wife. And the exwife causing him grief. She may have put a restraining order on him. He couldnt' stand seeing her while picking up and dropping of his daughter. Second. the amount of child support was so heavy he needed to get a better job to support his daughter. If that was so, they yes, he would leave the support for teh benefit of his daughter. Third, he may have been depressed. I know my husband was depressed because he felt at the time of the divorce, being a failure as a husband and a father. He felt he couldnt' fix the situation and left for the benefit of his kids. But he didn't leave the province or state. But he still left and his kids did blame themselves for a while. What this man did wrong was that he did not explain to his daughter that he is leaving not because of her. He needs to leave for _______explaination. It should have been given to your friend. That way she would not have this complex of selfblame, less worth and so. ITs so IMPORTANT. Unfortunately, the damage is done. But i honestly think, she should meet with her dad and confront him with her feelings. Tell him off the bat that she doesnt want to lose the relationship she has with him BUT she has long lingering questions and feelings of the past. She is an adult and has the right for answers. He will speak with her because she is not a child anymore. i have to be honest. What i've noticed is that men just dont seem to see the same things woman do. My father also moved on and doesnt' speak anymore to us since he remarried. He speaks with me on the phone and now is trying to have a relationship. I've been invited this weekend to his house. I know whatever didn't happen in the past is long gone. He was never much of a father to me. I had alot of resentment and hate for him. Felt neglected, not good enough. But overcame it by delving into my environment and friends and talking my feelings out. But what helped me the most was my confrontation with him. It was heated and loud and alot of emotions poured out. But that helped me. Screaming at him and telling him he wasnt' there for me while i grew up helped me. I felt a closure of somesort. And from that point i moved on with my life. i finally married and have a child ofmy own. Your friend needs to speak with her dad. She must on this, or she will never get over her feelings. Regardless of how much counseling is done....See MoreRehabit
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