Mom moved out Daughter moving in Completely new everything Help !!!
Nicole Charlene Davis
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Moving Mom- hope we both survive
Comments (11)This is not my mother's long time home, that was sold years ago. It is a long time apartment and the last place that she lived with dad, who has been gone 8 years. When they sold that house I got all the family heirlooms. The kinds of things I want her to get rid of are 24 glass pickle jars. Wouldn't 6 be enough? A zillion plastic margerine containers. 8 dress raincoats (we are keeping 6), Shoes with too high of heels for her to wear anymore. Double sheets when she hasn't had a double bed for decades. The ratty towels and blankets when she has dozen of nice ones that are "too good to use". It is independent living. She can come and go as she pleases. She can have one to 2 meals a day if she wants. She has a full kitchen and she does enjoy cooking. There is a handicapped shower. She has had nothing but a sponge bath for several years because she is afraid of falling in the tub. It has a large bedroom and lots of closets and storage. It is an apartment with amenities. Someone who comes in and does light housekeeping once a week. A handyman to change a light bulb or hang a picture. (She hates to ask dh, thinks she is imposing. At her current apartment there use to be the maintenance man who went above and beyond his duties for her. The apartment building changed hands and she now has typical landlords. Change your own furnace filter and light bulbs.) And the most important thing, is social contact with someone besides me. She cannot walk like she use to and misses all the people she use to chat with on her walks. There are people that she knows that live at the independenet living apartments. People leave their door open and visit. They have transportation to her favorite grocery store every other week. I will continue to take her on the off weeks. It is a few miles closer to me. It is not in the same town, but the immediately adjacent town. If you are not from the area you think they are the same city, much to the annoyance of residents. She is getting forgetful. She is falling. She starts her walks at dusk, no concept of time. This move is for my peace of mind, and hopefully a new lease on life for her. I sure hope so, 'cause my grandma lived to 96 and if mom lives that long she needs a change. This just sounds like I am trying to justify moving her. Not only to I want what is best for her but what is good for me and my family, too....See MoreMom with dementia upset about move
Comments (65)My mom has had Dementia for a while and she moved from an apartment to a room and board where she wasn’t taking her meds, never changing clothes, showering etc and had a small dog that she loved but was neglected and she would forget to feed etc. i ended up going to take care of her once a week, give her a bath, change her clothes, clean her room and take care of her dog. the Dementia grew worse. She would call the police 3-4 times a day, accused me of stealing from her and that the ppl at her room and board were poisoning her. They finally kicked her out and after I had been looking for months to find a semi-affordable assisted living/memory care facility that I will have to help pay for due to her limited funds, I was able to move her there and had to tell her the dog would join her another day because she said she wanted to live in the street with her dog. She’s not not been there a week and attempted to leave multiple times, continues to ask for her dog and leaves me awful messages that she’s gonna have me arrested, that she hates it there and that I’m dead to her. Doctors are going to increase or change her meds to assist with her anxiety. It’s been draining, and depressing- I am her only child and I have spent so much time taking care of her and all I get in return is vulgar words, messages and accusations - and all the while I am working extra to pay for her damn care while I have a family of my own and the money I pay for her is taking away from my own kids. It’s painful....it’s comforting to see others on here with similar stories of how awful loved become with Dementia.......See Moredaughter moving out....niffle, niffle, sigh....
Comments (6)This is the beginning of a new chapter in her life and the end of one of mine....... Actually, it's the beginning of a new chapter for BOTH of you... and the end of one for both as well. It's a pretty cool thing to be able to relate to your child as an adult. It's sort of the culmination of your hard work in raising her. You get to see the wonderful results as she gains independence and begins to make her own life, just as you did when you left your parents' home. And you also gain some independence. You now have an opportunity to get new interests, do things you couldn't do when she was at home, etc. Remember, you were a whole person before you had kids, and although you've changed by your experience as a mother, you are still a whole person now that she's leaving home. Step back and take a moment to be proud. Of her for moving forward with her life and continuing her education and becoming an adult. And of yourself for having raised her well....See MoreMoving out of New Jersey
Comments (72)Qdog, I agree. There are many nice places to live in both PA and NJ and there are always the bad areas. The same as any other state. Call me weird, but I actually like living in NJ. Yes my property taxes are more than most people's mortgage payments, but we do live in a town with one of the top school districts. And even in a down market our property values have held steady. Also I love being fairly close to NYC. We get the best of both worlds. We are close to the best (IMO) city in the world while being able to raise our children in the suburbs. And this is just my experience so don't attack me, but I have found the NY/NJ area to have the most diverse, highly educated and sophisticated populace in the country. Most people we know are college educated, worldly and tolerant of other religions and races. I haven't found that to be the case in most other parts of the country. C...See MoreRehabit
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