Well I don't know about an apology but certainly you did a good thing and you know it.

I'd say a thank you would work as well.

It may have been his first asthma attack and the mother was not aware of any problem. I can see why she would be unhappy that you gave him the use of an inhaler without her permission in advance. Hopefully, she used your advise and took him to a doctor promptly. I don't think she needed to apologize.

I wonder how long it was between the incident at your house and her figuring out he did have asthma?

If she had found and and called you closer in time to the incident, I don't know that she should have apologize, but a thank you for realizing and being proactive, plus bring it to her attention would have been nice. Have you considered maybe she have felt gulity for not recognizing this in her own son? Maybe it had happened before and no action was taken, so she felt like a bad mother or judged. Moms learn as they go, and some people have a hard time saying I'm sorry.

It’s hard to say, not being there in the moment and with not knowing exactly what factors were involved. It sounds like you did the right thing, though, so that’s all that matters. I’m sure it was a scary situation.

How is your DH doing? I’ve been thinking of you both.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Lucky for that child that you acted quickly all those years ago! We have a number of asthmatics in our family, and know only too well the fright of a serious attack.

It's neat that you know the "boy's" wife now! Sounds like the pharmacy in your town still retains a small-town feel. That's a rarity.

I think you went with your gut and and did the right thing. What else could you have done.... let him suffer and possibly die?

I would be the same in wanting some mention of what I did.

However, we can't always get what we want.

If I had any children, I would feel very safe leaving them with you!

30 years ago? I mean this in the kindest way, it is time to move on.

I agree with Sue. You did a good deed whether it was acknowledged or not. Let yourself feel good for helping the boy and don't worry about thank-yous, etc. Time to let it go.

Since this happened in the 70s, yes move on! :-)

It pains me greatly to point this out, but 30 years ago it was 1993.

Do you feel as ancient as I do?

Sure, a thank you would have been nice but you can not control the manners of someone else.

Supposedly, I once carried a girl scout over a scary (to her) bridge during a parade. This little girl is now in her 40s and thanks me whenever I see her. I don’t remember ever doing it, she is sure it was me. We laugh. She’ll continue to thank me because that’s what she does. I can not control her either. 😊

One of my GF's from 2nd grade always tells me about things I have forgotten from our childhood. I normally end up remembering after she reminds me. Your friend probably forgot. My brother told a funny story just yesterday while having our weekly lunch with our Dad that I didn't remember-and probably should have remembered. Well, I vaguely remembered. My brother remembers every thing! Me, not so much.

That's a joke all over the internet

Oakley, I’ll tell you what we say jokingly around here to people asking similar questions: get down off that cross, somebody needs the wood!

Please don't think I haven't gotten over the incident. I rarely think about it. I was buying my inhaler and that's when I thought of her husband. I told her the story but left out the response from her MIL, who I see at times and we're FB friends.

Asthma kills. There was no way I wasn't going to let him use the inhaler. My first asthma attack was in my 30's and I had to go to the ER because I thought I was dying. There was no time to call the mom first and then give him and inhaler, or take him home while he couldn't breathe. Not on my watch.

Now that I found out after all these years he did have asthma, I can't help but wonder why the mom didn't call and say I was right, thank you so much.

Not once out of all these years did a lack of an apology or thank you cross my mind. Because he may not have had asthma. But he did. That's why I asked which made me wonder where was common courtesy? It was her child. I remember how short she was on the phone with me that night and had I treated someone that way who saved my child's life, I'd bake them a pie and clean their toilets. :)

Thank you for the compliments. Ida, yes our small town pharmacy is wonderful. We're blessed to have one here.

Now this story crosses my mind a lot but in a funny way because I see the reminder every day. Years ago I was looking out the front door at nighttime and saw a huge fire at my neighbor's farm house which is about a third of a mile away. An elderly couple lived there, & their son & and his family living across the road. I called the son who was bff;'s with DH since I knew his number by memory. He said there isn't a fire. I said, LOOK OUTSIDE!! He did and came back and said, there's a fire!!! lol

An outbuilding caught on fire and right next to it was their big propane tank. Fire department came and was able to put it out before it spread. Our friend called and said thank you so much, you'll get a Tbone steak out of this. I never got that steak but hey, it's okay, it was a crazy night.

BTW, the elderly couple have passed, their son and family moved in to do the farming which is a big operation, and now their son who is DS1's BFF since they were in diapers, live there. Same age as the pharmacist's DH. Those boys practically lived here.

Guess who the friend of my DS's is married to? The sister of the pharmacist. :)

I don’t know much about albuterol inhalers or asthma, so had someone given one to my child I might have been put off, too. But, had he subsequently been diagnosed, and if I remembered that incident, I likely would have called to say hey, you were right. But, me being me, I might not have remembered, especially if he wasn’t diagnosed for years. Also, me being me, I might rehearse what I’d say in my head, but never get around to calling you.

I wonder if the kid (well, man now) remembers? I wouldn’t pursue it, but after talking to his wife, i’d just wonder about it in my head.

I would not have been okay with someone other than a doctor diagnosing and giving their own prescription medication to my child. I would have preferred that they called 911 and then me, in that order. You never know if there was another medical issue going on. But I also know that you live in a rural area and a timely emergency response might have been a consideration.

I'm glad the child was okay though. That's the important thing. And good to know that a puffer can help a cardiac victim.

I'm almost certain this was his first asthma attack because if he had an attack before he'd have an inhaler. I'm almost certain he had another attack shortly after at home because once you get it, the ride begins.

Some of the replies is why I was hesitant in posting this topic because I knew I'd be ridiculed as usual because my post wasn't read in full, or they deliberately disagree with something I never said in the first place. Most of all, and this is what bites. It's never done to anyone here but me. Like Oly saying I was an "odd one" when I'd been too busy to read the board for a couple of weeks. What if I'd been sick? Is that odd?

Bumble and KSWL, I have no idea what you're talking about. The memory only came up yesterday. What cross? What joke is all over the internet? It never occurred to me over the years about being thanked, or apologized to for being curt with me until yesterday.

Jojo, since you know nothing about asthma or breathing problems, let me fill you in and then tell me if I was wrong. I gave him one puff of an Albuterol inhaler. It's a quick relief inhaler and all it does is open the airways so the person can breathe. Just like I did for DH who was literally near death and the medics told me I did the right thing. Common sense. Even if it took one minute for an ambulance to get here, it could still be too late. You have to know what you're doing, and I did. Ask your DH, he'd know. If he disagrees then I'd never ever go to him in the first place.

A puffer can help anyone who is having trouble breathing.

All over the internet is 30 years ago is 1970.

Before you criticize Oakley further, she is 100% correct that some members here treat her differently. They wouldn't dream of treating anyone else like that. The reason is because she's shared some personal feelings about situations in her life, and when she hasn't received the support that most everyone else here gets, she's gotten upset. Good for you for standing up for yourself, Oakley.

My advice: don't share in spaces that aren't safe to share in.

My son had asthma from about age 7 until 11 - I do understand how serious not being able to breathe can be.

I'm not sure if I would've given his medication to another child having a breathing emergency, but I don't think it matters, since that's totally hypothetical. We kept an albuterol inhaler for emergencies. He had a Cromolyn sodium inhaler that he used every morning, IIRC.

I guess you could chalk up that mom's lack of response as one of life's mysteries you may never learn. Of course, you could ask when he was diagnosed.

TBH, I never expect apologies. I do appreciate them tho.

That's a large assumption, Oakley, that I know nothing about asthma or breathing problems. I actually do, but I'm going to leave it at that.

I am not saying you were wrong. I just said that I would not have been okay if someone other than a dr gave my child meds not prescribed for that child. Sounds like the boy's mom may have felt the same as I do. But neither of us was there. You made a judgment call and it turned out fine. I just wanted to point out why she might have not have shared your view.

"You have to know what you're doing, and I did. Ask your DH, he'd know. If he disagrees then I'd never ever go to him in the first place."

I think you're confusing me with someone else? My dh is a lawyer, not a doctor. I know exactly what he would do.

Take our opinions with a grain of salt. That is the beauty of this place--we are all different. And thank goodness for that.

Whenever posting, there will always be a variety of opinions. Why focus on what you perceive to be a negative opinion. It is just that person’s opinion.

Oakley, no need to call each member out for what you think they know or don’t. If you just want to vent, that is okay too, but to be fair, we all assume you want a discussion which includes personal experience and opinions.

Side story: quite a few times I have been unanimously disagreed with on a thread. Wow. But it has made me decide to turn my reaction and my actions around to a different direction. And, I was always better for it.

Did you see the thread where you was thanked for sharing a medical issue and helped a member here?

Oak, I read your post in full and chose not to give a serious reply because I disagree with what you did all those years ago. I have a child who was on an inhaler for 13 years and would not have wanted you to treat him based on symptoms that at the time you did not know with 100% certainty were asthma.

My reply was in reference to what we say in our neck of the woods —-JOKINGLY— when someone is acting even a tiny bit like a martyr. It is a Christian reference: get down off the cross— implying someone is on a cross waiting to be crucified like Jesus— because somebody else needs the wood (the cross is made of) for some practical, not self-aggrandizing, purpose. I’m surprised you haven’t heard it, but maybe it’s just a Southern thing. To be clear, it is a joke. Such things are usually said to people fondly but with the message that no one thinks the person complaining has actually been wronged.

FWIW, I didn't interpret the OP as a complaint, but more of a conversation starter. The first sentence is "I don't expect an apology now, it's only been like 30 years ago. lol"

She said he doesn't have asthma and didn't appreciate that I had him use an inhaler. Seriously?

I'm sorry, but that would have been my reaction as well, rightly or wrongly. Also, I think I would have preferred if you called and told me what happened, including why you made the decision (eg "I was concerned and I was pretty sure this would help and also pretty certain that one dose could not harm.") I can imagine that not only does she not feel she owes you an apology, she could actually think you owe her one!

All of this is by way of answering the question you asked.

PS The Mayo Clinic has this to say about albuterol inhalers "This medicine may cause paradoxical bronchospasm, which means your breathing or wheezing will get worse. This may be life-threatening."

No matter what, I can’t imagine it’s ever a good idea to give a child a medication that was not prescribed for him.

Medical Misinformation "A puffer can help anyone who is having trouble breathing."

Person having difficulty breathing used family members albuterol inhaler, even though the medication was not prescribed for them and they had no medical history of asthma or COPD. Patient died of myocardial infarction "heart attack" that caused cardiac arrest.
The medication in "reliever" inhalers is albuterol, a beta-agonist that can increase heart rate and myocardial oxygen consumption, making a myocardial infarction worse and triggering fatal dysrhythmias (abnormal heart rhythm). Even patients without heart disease may "feel their heart racing" after taking albuterol.

Wow, how many of these type of posts end up going south? Seems like most of them and you'd think that we would all learn.

I would have been livid if anyone had treated my child or grandchild medically without parental consent. I have NEVER given my own grandson any medication without first checking with his parents. If it was an emergency, I would call 911. I do have an epipen for him and I would use that in an urgent situation, but it was prescribed for him.

So, no, you aren't owed any gratitude or apology (why would you even think of this after all of these years)?

""Like Oly saying I was an "odd one" when I'd been too busy to read the board for a couple of weeks. What if I'd been sick? Is that odd? "

What in the world are you talking about?

I too would have been aghast if someone gave my child their prescription medication during a visit without contacting me

Agree too if there was a medical emergency that was dire, 911 should have been called. If not the child’s parent should have been

So to answer the hypothetical question no apology was necessary other than Oakleys to the mother whose child she diagnosed and treated on her own

Have to say, I'd be furious if my kids were given an inhaler without a doctor prescribing it or without my consent. Even if it later turned out my child had asthma, I would still be mad.

@Oakley , do you know when the kid was actually diagnosed? I wonder if it was years later and the mom didn't even remember (or he'd already moved out and never told her).

Anyway, if the options are (1) let kid die on the kitchen floor, or (2) give him something, then yeah, you give him something.

And I think the need to act is different depending on how close you are to medical services, too. If you're semi rural, you have to make decisions that people who live near ERs don't have to.

(I don't know if everyone should have albuterol at home, but it's pretty important for my family!)