This is one of the most disturbing posts I've ever read here - in fact, it's been haunting me since it first appeared. I don't know which is worse -- the idea that you molested your wife's sister, or the idea that you didn't and she claims you did. Either way, it's a horrible, awful mess. For what it's worth, I find it very hard to believe that a young woman who behaves anywhere near appropriately would have been molested by 2 of her 3 brothers-in-law... Of course, there's no way to prove either side of the story, since there wouldn't have been any witnesses. So it all boils down to a question of character, history and reputation. If your character is above reproach, your story should be believed (though perhaps quietly, since it's likely D is emotional, dramatic and vocal) and this should all blow over in a few months. If your character hasn't always been above reproach, let this situation serve as a warning that you need to monitor your behavior a little more carefully, and that in the future, you should not to let D get within 10 feet of you. Without knowing any of the parties involved, I would have a tendency to believe that there was some truth to each side, with exaggerations and distortions likely on both sides.

You are absolutely right Anne. After 20yrs too. That's a remarkable run of such an aggressive cancer but still.... it does suck! As Heather says, she recovered quickly although I think it was day 2 post op that she went shopping! Marjorie sounds equally stoic and probably should be Heather's twin instead of me. I'm just not built with the same stuff as she is. I'd be the one asking for the morphine. I saw Heather go through chemo, surgery and then radiation virtually without complaint. She set the bar very high should I follow in her footsteps. I went with Heather for her pre-op anaesthetic visit. The anaethetist said "Don't worry - it's simple surgery! I wanted to scream at him - Simple..... for who! Compared to what your sister has gone through it may well be but when I worked with oncology children, it was often the simple stuff that seemed to them to be the last straw! They'd tolerate bone marrows/spinal taps but lose it when having blood drawn. If you don't have one - a fanny pack will make it a lot easier to have to hold the JP drains. Much easier than coiling the tubing and pinning it to your clothes. I will be thinking of your sister in the coming days. I totally understand your need not to be an active caregiver without a break. Please don't feel selfish. A worn-out caregiver whether it be physically or emotionally is just not an effective one. You are very wise to realize that ahead of time.

This sister is not the one with weight issues. In fact she is a beautiful girl. But I know she has some self esteem issues. She is on meds for anxiety because she has social anxiety. And she gets mad real quick. She is always mad at at least one sister. Her latest is that she is mad at one of my sisters for being friends with her bf on facebook. Even though her and her bf hung around my other sis and her bf everyday for weeks and they all became friends my sister was mad at her sis and bf for being on eachothers friend list! Its insane.

I've had clients who went out in the middle of a BIG project and bought furniture that was beyond hideous - it was a monstrosity. I could have cried - all the work I put into this MBR and then they bought this enormous bed with built in headboard/bookcases/lights - heck there might have even been a refrigerator in it - it was bigger than some efficiency apartments. They could not wait for me to see this purchase, of which they were SO proud. I responded the same way I do when a really ugly baby is presented to me and said, "Well, that's quite a bed!" (I always say "What a baby!"). After the installation of what we were doing was complete, I bowed out - WAY too busy to help them with more decorating - always WAY too busy for the next 2 years. They finally quit calling and I was greatly relieved.