Our move in date is the end of May. We have a lot of work left to do with detailing.

@bry911 I couldn't agree with you more. I'm sure the OP spent a good amount on this home and on this kitchen and trying to settle on a major kitchen screw-up definitely not going to fly with many people.

I would definitely have them order new uppers from 12 to 18 and that is the minimum that I would settle on. It's not a big deal to do that since they screwed up, it will not cause any delays, it can be done later when cabinets come in and call it a day and the customer will be happy after all this is the look she wants...

Make it happen... Lesson learned next time pay attention and verify everything onsite.

Unfortunately it only looks like different uppers. He had them as one piece with lower doors solid and upper doors glass. The cabinet pet is one continuous piece at each vertical section except for the center.

"... it will not cause any delays..." That may or may not be the case. If the upper cabinets need to be removed and replaced, the time to redesign, refabricate, and reinstall them can affect the installation of the trim in the kitchen, any under cabinet lighting, any backsplash and the painting. To be sure, one dimension of the OP's decision about implementing any change is the time to completion.

Amanda that picture is only a sample. If you have the stacked section 12" have them remove that and order the same uppers with glass 18" which will give you 6 extra inches and with build-up material plus the crown you will be where you need to be. Even if it takes longer to make it and get them delivered they can be installed after you move if it gets to that.

Good luck

If the construction of the OP's new home is financed, it's not likely the builder will receive final payment nor the OP moved in before 100% completion of the kitchen and final inspection. Time is money as they say....

@Charles Ross Homes Everything is doable... being done here all the time and you can get a temp certificate of occupancy if it comes to that but in this case, the only thing that will be incomplete is the upper cabinets and If all final plumbing and electrical, fire, etc passed Building department will not hold it up because of that.

I closed on the houses without flooring, etc I asked for a letter from the homeowner that the flooring is on back order or the homeowner will install the flooring himself, and they have no problem issuing a certificate of occupancy.

Exactly what GN said. You don't need upper cabinets to get a TCO or even a CO. How many kitchens have no uppers?

Amanda, if that's the case that it's one piece and can't be adjusted then get them to redo the uppers so you're happy with them.

I didn't claim that upper cabinets need to be installed in order to obtain a certificate of occupancy. They wouldn't in the municipalities I build in. But, in my experience, you'll need a completed kitchen in order to get final inspection approved by the lender and final payment to the builder authorized. That usually results in a delay. If it will in this case, the implications of a delay need to be considered along with whatever remedy the homeowner is seeking. If the project is 100% owner financed, then the parties just need to work out an amicable solution.

But, in my experience, you'll need a completed kitchen in order to get final inspection approved by the lender and final payment to the builder authorized

Then she needs to check if she needs final payment authorized because where I live, we didn't authorize final payment until we went to arbitration. We had a TCO.

If it will in this case, the implications of a delay need to be considered along with whatever remedy the homeowner is seeking.

So you're saying because the KD screwed up, she should just roll over and do something bass ackwards to get in the house? Something she'll see every single time she walks into the kitchen?

If the project is 100% owner financed, then the parties just need to work out an amicable solution.

Or she can work with her bank to hold back the payment until she's satisfied with the outcome, which is what we wound up doing. In fact we didn't release any of the final payment until we had agreed to a number in arbitration. Over a year later.

... The first thing we told the designer about the space was it had 10 foot ceilings ...

Asking this as nicely as possible: Can you prove you told him this? If it's not in writing or otherwise verifiable, it didn't happen.

They are losing functionality because my decorative cabinets are now needing to be functional cabinets in this look.

Well, no. At this moment you're not getting the look you want, but you're not losing functionality by not having cabinets 9' in the air. You'll need more than a step stool to reach items in those cabinets.

We want the height of the ceilings and don’t want to drop down.

Could you keep the ceiling height in the middle of the room /install sofits above the cabinets that've already been built /place fake doors with mirrors (which will look just like glass once they're 9' in the air) on the sofit? It might be a compromise that won't blow the budget.

"You approved the drawings. What you thought or assumed is irrelevant.

Yeah, this is kinda like my opening comment above -- if you can't prove it, it didn't happen.
Below is a photo of my 10' ceilings. My upper cabinets are 42" with 18" glass cabinets above and a 6" crown to give you an idea of how it will look in a 10' ceiling.

If you're going with 10' ceilings, as evidenced by these pictures, these proportions are ideal.

My kitchen guy came out 2x to measure to make sure his measurements would be correct.

'Cuz he remembered that old saying, "Measure twice, cut once."
I don't understand why homeowners hire unimaginative kitchen designers who specify standard 24" deep counters with 12" deep cabinets 18" above the counter as if there were no other options.

To play devil's advocate, I'd say it's because plates, cookware, etc. is all fairly well standard in size, and these are dimensions that work for most people.

We are clearing out our savings pretty good on this and have been paying as we go and will have the money from the sale of our current home (already have a buyer). No bank involvement.

Can the backsplash be put up and replacement cabinets go in later? That’s assuming the KD replaces them.

@Charles Ross Homes You never got a final inspection by the lender if something wasn't completed for whatever reason and got the payment authorized? I don't believe that for a second.

Bank sends some kids to take pictures who can't tell the difference between a bathroom and a laundry room. They take a few shots and off he goes to send them pictures and he or the lender who sends him has no clue what should be there or not. Carpets in, the place is painted, the kitchen is hanging, bathrooms are done, the outside is finished, the Certificate of occupancy is issued and they can't wait to write that check so they can collect the mortgage :-)

Mrs. Pete-

... The first thing we told the designer about the space was it had 10 foot ceilings ... Asking this as nicely as possible: Can you prove you told him this? If it's not in writing or otherwise verifiable, it didn't happen.

My husband gave him full sets of our architectural drawings to which he said the builder already sent them to me. We then told about the height being 10’ since 1) height is important when your putting cabinets on a wall- if we had 8’ ceilings the 9’ design would be a problem. It was a key component to laying out the room. We had a lengthy discussion about the ceilings being so high and the possible need for (I referred to it as built in and the KD told me it was) a soffit because I didn’t want a gap for dust to gather. So no I did not bring a camera and record our design consultation. I wasn’t aware I needed to. 2) If we didn’t mention height shouldn’t he have asked then- he is designing a kitchen and it seems ceilings can be from 7.5’+. Doesn’t seem like someplace you’d guess. 3) The arch drawings and ceiling height has not changed throughout our entire building process.

They are losing functionality because my decorative cabinets are now needing to be functional cabinets in this look.
Well, no. At this moment you're not getting the look you want, but you're not losing functionality by not having cabinets 9' in the air. You'll need more than a step stool to reach items in those cabinets.

We have cabinets at 9 feet now and are functional as I store my baking things (cake decorating, cookie cutters, punch bowls, etc) and things that I use not even yearly but don’t want to store in a basement. That is what would be now lost in functionality. My storage. Yes I can use the glass cabinets.

We want the height of the ceilings and don’t want to drop down.
Could you keep the ceiling height in the middle of the room /install sofits above the cabinets that've already been built /place fake doors with mirrors (which will look just like glass once they're 9' in the air) on the sofit? It might be a compromise that won't blow the budget.

We do not want a soffit. It was discussed with the KD early on. The cabinets alone cost 55k. I don’t think I should have to spend more for drywalling soffits in and literal smoke and mirrors to fix the KD mistake. Never have I had any design for my cabinets showing them 1.5-3 ft below the ceiling level. He drew a ceiling line in his drawings indicating that’s where the ceiling was and below it where our cabinets would be.

"You approved the drawings. What you thought or assumed is irrelevant.
Yeah, this is kinda like my opening comment above -- if you can't prove it, it didn't happen.
I approved the drawing showing the cabinet at just below the ceiling line. I can prove that happened because the KD drawings are taped to the windows at the kitchen of the house and in about 10 different email correspondences. Not one of the sets sent back and forth from Feb to May have cabinets any lower.


Below is a photo of my 10' ceilings. My upper cabinets are 42" with 18" glass cabinets above and a 6" crown to give you an idea of how it will look in a 10' ceiling.
If you're going with 10' ceilings, as evidenced by these pictures, these proportions are ideal.
Yes, he mentioned 42” cabinets in our initial meeting. Showed us them in his studio. I didn’t record our visit.

My kitchen guy came out 2x to measure to make sure his measurements would be correct.
'Cuz he remembered that old saying, "Measure twice, cut once."
I don't understand why homeowners hire unimaginative kitchen designers who specify standard 24" deep counters with 12" deep cabinets 18" above the counter as if there were no other options.
To play devil's advocate, I'd say it's because plates, cookware, etc. is all fairly well standard in size, and these are dimensions that work for most people.

I’d say it ranges in size. We discovered today and it is written on his drawings under the stove- “2 pull out drawers in cabinet”— instead we have 4 tiny pull out drawers in cabinet. Definitely not gonna work for our pots and pans and once again not what we asked for and a mistake on his part that is in writing.

Other mistakes we discovered-

we have a baking sheet cabinet that is thin and we did not want the divider in it. He put it in anyway. We have that in writing that we did not want it.

One of the corner cabinets is missing the pull out lazy Susan and has a shelf instead. Is written in as being the LS.

Half the island cabinets came too short…. And not on one side where it might even make sense.

The pull out cabinet drawers are not what we were shown- but I didn’t take pics at the time and can’t prove it so we are stuck with them. Choosing my battles.

GN Builders. That is a beautiful kitchen!

"@Charles Ross Homes You never got a final inspection by the lender if something wasn't completed for whatever reason and got the payment authorized? I don't believe that for a second."

That might be the case for entry-level and first-level move up homes; it might be the case for small items and it might be the case in your area. In my experience building high-end homes in the Williamsburg, VA area, bank inspectors are experienced professionals (often they're appraisers) who know what they're looking at and document everything. They might look the other way for a missing light fixture that's on back order, but they won't do that for a kitchen missing all of its upper cabinets. The frustrating part for the builder is that the lender retains fully 5% of the construction loan amount until they judge the home to be 100% complete (a c.o. is necessary, but not sufficient for the home to be considered complete.) If the construction loan goes past 12 months, they can charge the borrower a renewal fee. Ditto for builder's risk insurance. If the client is renting temporary living quarters, they may have difficulty renewing their lease. The point, and I hope it's been sufficiently articulated, is that the builder's and homeowners' interests are best served by working together to achieve a solution that doesn't delay the completion of the project. That doesn't mean the homeowner has to accept the current condition, but they'll be well served to consider the time implications of whatever course of action is agreed.

I find the thing about "completeness" interesting, and I know it's highly variable--a friend of mine did not get occupancy because of an obviously broken light fixture, my contractor worked on a kitchen where the inspectors(S) two, did not like the kitchen faucet.

One the other hand, what if the house was designed without upper kitchen cabinets? How would they even know what's supposed to be there.

There is nothing where I live that specifies that at kitchen has to have any cabinets or minimum counterspace at all. It needs to meet specific electrical and plumbing requirements but it would be considered a kitchen with finished walls, a cooking appliance, a refrigerator and a sink.

The kitchen could be completed with inexpensive shelving and maybe a can of cheap paint. People are allowed to remodel their kitchen after they move in, even days after they move in. If getting in the house is a priority it could be done for a couple of hundred bucks easily... which is a small price to pay for the kitchen the OP wants.

At least for high-end homes, construction lenders and their inspectors have both detailed sets of construction plans and an appraisal which includes a specific line-item breakdown of construction costs. Cabinetry and tops is a typical line item. If there's a disconnect between what they see on paper and what they see in the home (they do this for a living,) they'll flag it. If it's obvious something is incomplete or missing, it will be reported on the inspector's report to the bank and payment to the builder will be held up. At the risk of stating the obvious, lenders are risk-averse. They will withhold the final 5% of the loan amount to incentivize the builder to fully complete the home.

But what if there is no lender? I was under the impression there is not a loan here.

@palimpsest

Check up thread for this comment:

"If the project is 100% owner financed, then the parties just need to work out an amicable solution."

@Charles Ross Homes - I am not understanding your point, if you could clarify it would be helpful. A certificate of occupancy is all that is required to occupy a home on land you own, in my area construction loans are often left open after occupancy in situations similar to this. When we were constructing a home there were water restrictions that prevented any landscaping, which were in the loan. We moved into the home and 4 months later the landscaping was completed and we then closed (converted) the loan.

You own the home, you can move in any time after the CO is issued. Do banks in your area have typically have clauses that trigger conversion on occupancy (which seems odd so close to the Covid supply chain problems)?

@bry911,

The right to occupy a home and the builder receiving final payment are separate, but related issues.

My Construction Agreement defines completion as obtaining a certificate of occupancy. It allows for the client to withhold an amount equal to 150% of the estimated cost to complete anything that is incomplete or defective at the time of settlement. It's not unusual to receive a damaged light fixture which also has a long order lead time and which gets installed after move-in. Banks and code officials don't normally give us a problem over small items like that provided a permanent c.o. is issued. I just received final payment this month for a $950K custom home we completed a couple of months ago. The lender wouldn't pay the final 5% because the city wouldn't issue a permanent c.o. (we got the owners moved in with a temporary c.o.) The issue was that sod, landscaping, and hardscaping weren't completed. The city won't issue a permanent c.o. without the site being fully stabilized and the lender won't issue final payment without a permanent c.o. Both were performed outside my contract with the owner, but I still had to wait for final payment as the homeowner's cash was tapped out.

@Charles Ross Homes - I think I understand what you are saying, but I am confused about how the homeowner is adversely affected. I do understand that the builder might have to wait for their payment, but I believe that is exactly what should happen in this situation. The OP notes that they had to endure this designer because this is the KD the builder uses, so the builder is at least partially responsible for the KD's mistakes.

The only penalty for the homeowner is the marginal interest during the construction loan phase, which is likely small.

@bry911,

My original comment was made before the homeowner clarified the project is owner financed-- with no bank involvement. In that case, it's up to the builder and homeowner to work out an amicable solution as there's no lender protocol to get in the way.

Never had a problem with the lander having an issue with temp C.O. it never even came up, that always gets resolved between the builder and the buyer and between attorneys at the closing. The lender never delayed any payments because of a temp C.O.

@Charles Ross Homes If your house was completed 2 months ago that puts you in November give or take, that lot should have been graded with sod installed in October (what you guys sleeping up there or spending too much time in the office) :-) Light some fire under your guys who run the job or get out of the office yourself once in a while.

Greg,

If you'll take time to read the post, you'll note that sod, landscaping, and hardscaping were outside my contract with the homeowner. Let me make clear for you what that means: They contracted directly with the landscaper of their choice; it wasn't in my contract scope of work. The company they chose was a small outfit relative to the scope of work, they took forever and I had to float 5% of the contract price of the home as a consequence. My attorney is amending my Construction Agreement to prevent a repeat performance.

My bad I missed it, while on the subject that should be a valuable lesson to you, my friend, never allow your customers to hire anyone while you're building their home...Just bad practice. After the closing, they can bring anyone they want and do anything they want but not before the closing.

If you do allow that you should have a clause in regard to work done by others with completion time requirements and penalties should there be any delays on their part, etc

It happened to a friend of mine who let his customer hire a kitchen designer and install done through them, gave them allowance on the kitchen, and he was sitting without the kitchen for a long time and it delayed closing on the house 3-4 months later due to their incompetence.

@Charles Ross Homes - I understand that it doesn't affect this homeowner, but supposing there was a lender involved how would it adversely affect the homeowner? Do banks in your area regularly require closing/converting the construction loan prior to occupancy? If not, it seems like a homeowner could move into the home while the builder had some few items left to finish.

This would absolutely delay closing, but since occupancy isn't necessarily tied to closing the homeowner could move in while the cabinets were being sorted, even with a loan.

The reason we keep sod, landscaping, and hardscaping outside our contract is twofold: first, that's not our area of expertise and we don't add value, and second, most of the master planned communities in which we build have "developer's marketing fees" embedded in the deed for the property. Depending on the particular community, the marketing fee requirement costs the homeowner anywhere from 2% to 5% of the contract price to build their home--on top of the builder's contract price. If there's a Realtor involved, they often want to collect a referral fee that can range from 1% to 6% of the contract price, too. By contracting sod, irrigation, landscaping, and hardscaping outside our contract to construct the home, the homeowner avoids those fees on that portion of the total cost of their project.

@Charles Ross Homes It doesn't matter. It's your job, your insurance, etc. If something happens you will have headaches you wouldn't believe. That said, what you do is your business, I'm just giving you friendly advice... Never let a 3d party do any work on your job while you are responsible for it.

Thanks, Greg.

How high are the doors in your house? 6'8" or 8'? If they are 8' then you can use the drawing he did as additional proof that they were supposed to be 10' ceilings. I say that because if you have 8' doors, the drawing looks like the ceiling could be 10'. It also looks like the ceiling could be 9' in the picture with 6'8" doors. However it is not on you to have to figure out if that ceiling is 9' or 10'. You are not the expert.

Can the backsplash be put up and replacement cabinets go in later? That’s assuming the KD replaces them.

Yes as long as they're careful

My husband gave him full sets of our architectural drawings to which he said the builder already sent them to me

I assume the drawings showed the ceiling at 10'? Actually even if it didn't, it's on him to verify the height with you or the builder.

He drew a ceiling line in his drawings indicating that’s where the ceiling was and below it where our cabinets would be.

I approved the drawing showing the cabinet at just below the ceiling line. I can prove that happened because the KD drawings are taped to the windows at the kitchen of the house and in about 10 different email correspondences. Not one of the sets sent back and forth from Feb to May have cabinets any lower.

Yes he did and that's what you keep reminding him. Ask him how the cabinets could go to the ceiling in your 10' kitchen if he only ordered cabinets to be 9' high, even though his drawing shows it going to the ceiling.

I’d say it ranges in size. We discovered today and it is written on his drawings under the stove- “2 pull out drawers in cabinet”— instead we have 4 tiny pull out drawers in cabinet. Definitely not gonna work for our pots and pans and once again not what we asked for and a mistake on his part that is in writing.

Other mistakes we discovered-

we have a baking sheet cabinet that is thin and we did not want the divider in it. He put it in anyway. We have that in writing that we did not want it.

One of the corner cabinets is missing the pull out lazy Susan and has a shelf instead. Is written in as being the LS.

Half the island cabinets came too short…. And not on one side where it might even make sense.

Sounds like he needs to redo lots of things. Don't settle. That's way too expensive to settle.

The point, and I hope it's been sufficiently articulated, is that the builder's and homeowners' interests are best served by working together to achieve a solution that doesn't delay the completion of the project.

And in your mind, keeping cabinets that were not what the homeowner specified and wanted is ok with you? Along with the other mistakes this KD made? REALLY? When it does affect the functionality for her?

By your standards, you might remember when they poured my slab it wasn't level, which we didn't discover until we were putting our fireplace cabinets in. The builder's solution was to ask the cabinet maker to make a wedge to fit under the slope. Would that be best served in your book even though the floors were off by more than an inch in 10'?

After all if I had agreed to that, my project wouldn't have been delayed more than 3 months, because then they wouldn't have had to pry up the whole living room/kitchen floors, pour and level out the slab and then wait 3+ months for more of boxes of my wood floors.

And hey most people wouldn't have been the wiser?

My point being that if it was a minor issue, then yes, you don't delay the build, but when you're paying as much as she's paying for cabinets, then they sure as heck better get them right. This isn't the issue of one or 2 drawers being incorrect. It's 11 uppers being wrong.

At the risk of stating the obvious, lenders are risk-averse. They will withhold the final 5% of the loan amount to incentivize the builder to fully complete the home.

Actually our lender held back not only the 5% but the full final payment. Many banks will work with you.

I'm not suggesting the OP accept the status quo, merely that they adopt a collaborative rather than confrontational tone when they approach the builder about the issue. Most builders want their clients to have a good experience and will work hard to remedy problems. When problems do occur, clients who are nicer to work with typically get better results.

We met with the KD today. After he emailed this morning that my husband was correct that the CAD drawings were put to 9’ ceilings, he turned it around and tried saying the drawings say they are not exact and are “artistic renderings”. I am pretty sure that means the cabinet little details might be different and not that the cabinet size in relation to your kitchen ceilings might be different. 🙄 I mean in that definition he could sell me a child size kitchen drawn to look like a adult kitchen and call it artistic interpretation. He is redrawing the upper cabinet design at 10’ and we will have to pay more $$ for the difference. I mean if we would have paid that amount initially for them, ok. But we were already in 55k and now we are adding God knows what. I feel taken advantage of because now we can’t go elsewhere. I had pretty much the same set up priced first at another place and it was about 55k for the correct size and I think better cabinets. Now I am paying more for these because I have no choice. He told the builder PM to toss these uppers in the dumpster. 🙄. Very dramatic. The PM said he wasn’t wasting perfectly good cabinets and got him to agree to donate them to HUD or someplace. He said he can’t rush them so we will be three months and just get them in before we are set to go for the COO. I’m glad we are gonna get the cabinets we want but not happy that the cost is more and I had no option to go elsewhere! I asked him to please send dimensional drawings so I can check that things are the correct height and he said he does not give out dimensioned drawings because we could take them elsewhere and get a quote. I replied well if he did we would have caught the error in ceiling height and not be in this mess.

Hi, Amanda,

What is your builder's role in this? Did he/she insist on the particular kitchen designer? Is that why you are limited? If they directed you to a particular designer, to what extent is the builder involved in resolving the issue?

They gave us a list of who they use for things. This was the kitchen designer. They are playing no role at this point. I am limited now because the money has been payed for the cabinets and I can’t get it back to go elsewhere. I would love to tell him to take his cabinets and I would go to someplace else. He made us think the cabinets for 55k were for our height and now locked in we have to pay more or have a look we don’t want.

If your contract is with your builder, I would expect them to be working for you to set things straight. If they use the particular kitchen designer exclusively, they have some leverage.

@Mrs C - There is a lot to unpack here. I strongly advise that you schedule a meeting with an attorney who has construction experience. I think you need an advocate who has more heft that you are going to find even by being well informed. If you are paying anything more than the marginal cost of the cabinets, you are getting taken advantage of.

First, I don't think your builder is off the hook, an exclusivity arrangement creates a duty. If the builder will only let you use one KD, then he can't get around his duty to supervise that work by saying it was outside the scope of his contract. It isn't.

Next, you note that "He is redrawing the upper cabinet design at 10’ and we will have to pay more $$ for the difference." The KD has to put you back into the spot you would have been in if there was no mistake. So you might have to pay the marginal cost between cabinets for a 10' ceiling and cabinets for 9' ceiling, but you don't have to pay the cost to change to 10' ceilings. IN other words, suppose your current cabinets were $55,000 but cabinets to the 10' ceiling would have been $58,000. Then you should pay $3,000 extra as that is what you would have had to pay were it done correctly the first time. Any more than that is on the party who made a mistake.

You also note that the cabinetmaker, "He told the builder PM to toss these uppers in the dumpster. Very dramatic. The PM said he wasn’t wasting perfectly good cabinets and got him to agree to donate them to HUD or someplace." Unless the KD is giving you full credit for those cabinets (see above), they are your cabinets. This really just helps with the point above, if the KD is accepting the cabinets back and issuing a full credit towards new cabinets, then he can throw them away if he wants, however, if there is anything other than a full credit, they are your cabinets and you get to donate them or sell them or anything else.

Here is a real nugget... he turned it around and tried saying the drawings say they are not exact and are “artistic renderings”. The KD really needs to put down the shovel. If the drawings don't represent the finished product then any approval of them is meaningless. I hope you can get this in writing.

He said he can’t rush them so we will be three months and just get them in before we are set to go for the COO. - Does your contract with the designer have a limitation of liability clause in it and what does it say specifically? Just discuss this with an attorney. I suspect the KD will help find a solution for a temporary COO... Especially since his statement above disposes of the old cabinets, which could be used for a COO. I would argue it as retaliatory and hit him with the three months of delay... it might not stick but sometimes a bigger stick helps.

I should have added this above, but it slipped my mind. I recommend a follow up email for any conversations you have with the KD at this point. Just send an email with a read receipt that basically says, "Here is my understanding of our conversation today, if there is anything that you feel I am misunderstanding please respond accordingly." It establishes an affirmative duty to correct you, therefore a passive acceptance of your email. It isn't as good as a confirmation but still pretty powerful if you have a problem down the road... I suspect you may.

That is a great idea. I will be sure we respond to his emails to be sure I am clear on things (or have my husband since he refuses to work directly with me and will only officially work with my husband). I guess he will try to work the extra cost into the new cabinets and since he never gave us a breakdown of what things cost it will probably be pretty easy. Can’t wait to see how the next few days play out.

They are playing no role at this point. I am limited now because the money has been payed for the cabinets and I can’t get it back to go elsewhere.

So you're paying the KD directly or through the builder?

Bry's advice is right on the money. PLEASE listen to him and work with a CONSTRUCTION attorney at this point.

I recommend a follow up email for any conversations you have with the KD at this point. Just send an email with a read receipt that basically says, "Here is my understanding of our conversation today, if there is anything that you feel I am misunderstanding please respond accordingly." It establishes an affirmative duty to correct you, therefore a passive acceptance of your email.

YES! After every single meeting I had with our builder and/or supervisor, I would follow up with an email stating exactly what happened in the meeting and how it would be resolved. As mentioned we went to arbitration at the end, and having those emails helped tremendously. (In our favor)

or have my husband since he refuses to work directly with me and will only officially work with my husband

I would put an immediate stop to this also. I assume that you are a party to the contract on the home and if that is the case, then your KD doesn't have the luxury of not speaking to you. Either get your attorney to do it, or make your builder do it. If your builder tries to weasel out of it, I would explain that you can't be forced to work with someone who refuses to work with you... and then have the attorney explain it in a less nice way.

I was going to give you some specific advice, but honestly, misogyny crap like this angers me so much that I can't even give advice without going nuclear.

Paying through the builder.

He sent new drawings over today. Not sure what to make of them. Something my husband doesn’t want the cabinets by the stove higher than this — trying to balance the window on the other side. The rest is ceiling height and we already responded back it should be a shelf above the window not just trim. Asked for the cabinet above the fridge to split in two so it matches the cabinets beside it. Any advice on the design?

Not sure what these sketches are but the second image is what you need... it shows 60" upper cabinets so this is the change they will be made by reordering new cabinets or this is the original drawings that were sent to KD and he made a mistake.

It shows a stacked combo of 42+18" = 60" which will bring you to a total height of 114" leaving space above just for the crown against the ceiling. By the stove they show 42" so that will be the total height on that wall.

The cabinet next to a sliding door looks a bit out of place I would make the height as the other side and I would build a soffit using panels matching kitchen and connecting to the cabinets on the other side of the window with crown and some recessed lights under there, it will add a nice detail something like this.

In any case hopefully they will do the right thing and make it right.

Good luck

Who is the kitchen designer’s boss? At this point it sounds like it’s time to sit down with them to go over all of the errors that the KD has made. Would your builder be willing to go with you to that meeting? I think that it would also help the boss/owner of the company to hear how unreasonable and unprofessional the KD has been in their communications.

Mostly I am just really sorry that you’re having to deal with this. These type of things are so stressful and really impact how you feel about your new home. I hope that it gets sorted out soon without you having to fork out more money.

"Something my husband doesn’t want the cabinets by the stove higher than this — trying to balance the window on the other side."

Like balancing a herd of cats.