I can't speak to the species, but I will say that "Cinderella" can indeed grow taller than 3 ft -- I had some that were at least 3.5 ft, approaching 4 ft. I think it just really depends on growing conditions. "Ice Ballet" never gets very tall for me, 3 ft or less, but IME it's not as vigorous a plant as "Cinderella" and not as long-blooming.

I have really been struggling with milkweed the last few years. Something chomps on the shoots in the spring. I suspect it's a combination of slugs and milkweed weevils because I've found both on the plants. I plan to hunt down weevil traps this spring to see if that helps at all. If not, I may have to drastically cut down on the amount of milkweed I grow -- they're in prominent spots, and the last two years I've had to replace with fresh stock because they're utterly destroyed before they ever put on much growth, but even yearly fresh stock hasn't performed all that well the last couple years, it's been a battle.

ETA: You've got the opposite problem in that yours are too vigorous, but for others here is info about the milkweed weevil: Home, Yard & Garden Newsletter at the University of Illinois

Thanks for the response! I've never seen milkweed weevils, thankfully. I'm in Northern Illinois, maybe they're not there yet (and hopefully they stay away).

Ah, I am a milkweed virgin - they are not considered typical plants over here (cos we don't have monarchs) but can still be found in older style perennial borders. You know - those huge herbaceous borders in grandiose houses,but less so in our bijoux gardens in the UK. Anyway, this year, I am growing both syriacus and incarnata (sp?) as I nabbed seeds from one of the aforementioned stately homes. I know nothing whatsoever about these (I just loved the seedheads, tbh) and suspect I may be in for a rude awakening with my sandy, dry soil. Any advice and suggestions eagerly awaited.

Asclepias incarnata is very well behaved but A. syriacus is a thug. It spreads by underground roots that spread out below the surface and then go very deep. I suggest planting A. syriacus very far from anything you hold dear. I like the flowers and they have a wonderful scent. If you have Mourning Cloak butterflies they enjoy the nectar.

ETA: A. tuberosa is one to explore and is very easy from seed.

You can cut back SM. I would recommend doing it in late spring; and weeks before the normal flowering date, to give the plant enough time to rebound and produce flowers.

hmmm, I have tried growing apocynum venetum because I have an interest in textiles. As a gardener, finding the connection point between plants and other uses (not just edible or medicinal) was a natural progression. Bast fibres especially, such as flax, ramie, nettle etc...and even barkcloth from paper mulberry. I am an indifferent spinner so I never really produced much (and the processes are long and whiffy) but it is an especial joy when a plant I have grown for utilitarian purposes (fibres, dye) has a delightful form and structure. At present, I have spent far too much time on the gromwells (lithospermum) although the best dye plant yields an insignificant flower. Milkweeds also can be spun up into an interesting fabric.

Although I do use a lot of natural dyes, I am also inclined to fall back on my old Jacquard acid dyes for a quick and easy yarn colour.

The whole DIY ethos has always interested me, including basketry, carpentry and all textile work. I came to gardening primarily through an affinity for colour...it was much later when I fully came to appreciate the intricacies of botany and horticulture.

My indigo bed is currently underneath a vast pile of rose arisings so I may have to forgo persicaria and indigofera this year...but the madder remains vigorous.

I am also very interested in those loyal and consistent people who choose a category and delve deeply, sometimes across an entire lifespan. This does often combine with the collecting impulse (hostas, for example). The closest I ever came was a long wild rose obsession, but even that was put on a back-burner when umbellifers and salvias hove into view. And the pruning became onerous. Unfortunately, having a magpie mind and short attention span tends to make me more of a dilletante - jack of all trades, master of none, type of thing. There are always too many new things to try and not enough time to do them.

Annuals are truly the perfect plants.

For the pink flowered version I'd just buy the smallest cheapest plants you can find. My experience supports these are short-lived, at least under my garden conditions, so I let them reseed. They get big fast then die out.

I'm in St. Louis, Missouri and the milkweed bugs and milkweed aphids are horrible every year! And it's true; the ants mine them get their sap! I just run my fingers down the leaves and smush them. It's a constant battle. I tried washing them off with hose, but that was less effective for me. The larger milkweed bugs are usually worse on my orange milkweed plants.