Like you said...it is not their fault. Just be thankful that you and yours are healthy. Bless these parents who are dealing with disabilities 24/7.

If you're a homebody like me I totally understand. That said I think the best thing that I did with a similar situation is I bought really good noise canceling headsets. I made sure they were super comfortable and I wore them whenever the child in my case had an attack of Tourette's which was all the time. Not their fault not their parents fault and likely doubled their parents stress thinking people were going to complain and have them kicked out. Still it was hard to live with until the headsets. I say headsets because different ones at different times. You might find a good headset that works but buy two of them. Good luck and my heart goes out to the children with difficulties and their parents.

Parents have to deal with their kids no matter whether they're free of disabilities or burdened with them.

It's fine to admire the parents' efforts without whitewashing the disturbance these poor kids involuntarily cause. And it's reasonable in my view to be upset about no longer having peace and quiet in your home.

Are there noise rules? I'd speak to the building manager about it.

So sorry that life is being disrupted like that.

The headsets are a good idea, and a more low tech one is earplugs. I use a type I can still hear things like the phone or someone speaking to me in the same room, but they blunt everything else & give me blessed peace so I can sleep.

We have a number of kids in our program who are on the spectrum or have other disabilities, and I often thank my lucky stars that I don't have to live with some of those behaviors. I really empathize with the parents. Piercing vocalizations are common for many kids on the spectrum.

Are you in an apartment building or a twin house? Just wondering how close they are to you. You have my sympathy. If the kids did not have challenges, it would be easier to ask the parents to please do somehting,but I suppose there is not much they can do, poor souls. Maybe the kids will outgrow it.

My next door neighbors have four kids and they can get noisy at times. The only thing that drives me to distraction is when they play basketball at one of those portable nets set up at the curb. It’s torture but they seem to keep it a minimum for the most part.

Oh geez - that reminded me of our across-the-street neighbors with a hoop in their driveway. Their kids seemingly never, EVER, get tired of shooting hoops and the thumping is relentless - often well past dark. I don't think the sound penetrates into their house, but we get to hear it clearly. I'm hearing it as I write this...

Carol, isn’t just maddening? We both need those soundproof headphones.

I live in an apartment with thin walls. Yes there is a noise ordinance but I find it hard to complain given the situation. If the kids didn't have autism and ADD I would have complained about it already.

It would drive me crazy, as well. What if the people living nearby have a disability that makes this out of control noise untenable to them? Just because kids have disabilities doesn't mean they cannot be taught self regulation and control. It's a lot of work for the parents, but it works (in many, many cases). Not trying to help them learn those skills is doing them a huge disservice. What's going to happen to them when their family can no longer care for them if they cannot manage better than this? Maybe that's happening in this family; hopefully, it is and will get better with time. But I'd be looking for a new place.

samkaren, your motivations are kind but I think you're needlessly choosing to be a victim. What if the neighbors next door were piano teachers and the piano was against your common wall and in use 12 hours a day for them to make a living?

You have my sympathy. Although I have worked with the severely multiply diabled, I don't have experience with autism.

I googled and advice of what should and could be done is offered.

If the child is screening for that many hours, the are just letting it happen.

The thing is, although you should and are empathetic, you still deserve a a healthy living environment.

I agree with Oly. Something can be done to at least to minimize the behavior.

I know it was not easy getting this apartment and you should not have to move.

I would approach the parents again and explain that you understand that there are things they can do and that you would appreciate it if they could try for some of the hours you are home.

You are a better person than I am. I am not sure what I would do, but that much noise would be untenable to me. I understand the parents likely can't control the children, and I am not necessarily faulting them if they are really trying. But that also doesn't change the fact that it is intolerable.

I think It's nice to be understanding and all, but perhaps the parents need to be more selective in where they choose to live. Expecting others to tolerate non-stop screaming from their apartment is asking quite a bit of the neighbors. They need to consider who is going to also be hearing this screaming and factor that in when they decide where to live and not expect others to be so tolerant of this. Like eld said, you deserve a healthy living environment. It's unfortunate that these children are disabled and react by screaming non-stop, but that isn't your fault. You shouldn't have to listen to that.

Honestly, in this day and age, with skyrocketing housing costs, along with everything else, it can be super difficult for families to find an affordable place to live. They may not have a choice.

^^^ very true. But samkaren shouldn't have to listen to kids nonstop screaming. That's not fair to her. The parents have a role in this. Did they disclose to the rental office that they have a child who is going to scream nonstop? And another child with ADD and runs back and forth?

The austistic child has a good excuse: he really can't help it and I'm not sure if there's anything a doctor can prescribe. But the ADHD child? They have med's for that. While my grandson has ADHD, he isn't hyperactive. He can sit on the couch and watch tv all day and not run amock all over the place yelling and hollering. He's verbally ADHD. He has 12 conversations at a time going on inside his head which makes his voice a little louder and he's VERY talkative. But, give him 1/2 an hour on his medication at breakfast and he's calm as a cucumber. His voice is lowered, his concentration does a 180 and he's fantastic! I don't know much about autistic children and what can be done for them, so I cannot comment.

But the parent has to find a way to keep her kids quieter. You do not have to live in that enviroment. You pay to live there too and you have the right to peace and quiet.

Life isn't fair. We all need compassion. Good idea to try the earplugs and/or earphones, if SamKaren hasn't already tried that.

And it's okay to let the parents know when they ask that yes, the noise is tiresome. Not that you expect a quick fix, but you don't have to pretend it doesn't bother you.

My neighbor has two with autism, and two neurotypical (well, not so neurotypical: they are highly gifted). Anyway, the two with autism spent a weekend with the grandparents, and the parents’ thought was ”so this is what typical families are like”.

I lived above a professional pianist, and I did ask her not to practice after 11pm. I didn’t mind her playing, but the practicing (which is quite different) was disturbing.

Anyway, I have no ideas for you. It is an unfortunate situation all around.

Are you getting some relief from the 6 year old's running now that school is probably back in session? Does the 4 year old also go to school? At least that might give relief during some hours of the day.

While my heart goes out to the parents of these children, that said, you deserve a quiet place to exist. You pay rent and you didn't ask for this to disrupt your quality of life. I certainly would be moving if nothing was done about this. I'm lucky to live on a quiet street and I hope it stays that way. But relating to the basketball situation. That is maddening. There is a kid from blocks away who dribbles his ball down our street on the way to the park. Since it's short-lived I can deal with it but would hate to hear it for hours.

Yes I do have ear plugs and they help somewhat. Not sure if they are going to renew their lease or not.

On the plus side they are better than the people who lived below me at the other building. Lady and young son moved in and she decided to let her 6 brothers move in as well. Nonstop talking all night. Landlord eventually kicked them out.

i have nothing to add but to say, 'sorry'. i understand on a human level, but on a day to day level, i would be so stressed listening to screaming and running feet all day.

maybe try to find out if they are going to renew: if yes, then say something to landlord and them, if no, count the days till they leave.

i have nothing but sympathy for parents with a special needs child, its so hard!! i know quite a few and it is life changing.

This is terrible to say but I have never considered how the reality of many families might affect others at home,never considered apartment living. It has to be tough. All I can say is this too will pass. It is not forever. Most times these behaviors are managed given time. I have worked in a middle and high school for over 30 years and these behaviors are rarely seen at that level. Please pray for these parents--and all the other neighbors. It has to be frustrating.

Can you ask your property management to do something? You should not have to live like that. It sounds like torture. Maybe they can move you into a new unit or pay for soundproofing.

This sounds terrible but there are resources available for people with low income and special needs kids. If the child with autism cannot be controlled now with just screaming he may become an uncontrollable adult. That is dangerous. Perhaps a group home or inpatient therapy will be better suited for the child. The child with ADD needs meds. The parents need to do their jobs. I feel tremendously for parents who have special needs children,and one can certainly my overlook a mere annoyance or inconvenience here and there. But constant screaming and running? No.

We moved far far away from our last house because of screaming kids. It was constant and torturous,for us and our pets.

One of my nephews and his wife have two autistic boys. They are in their early teens and have much improved in every way since they were first diagnosed as toddlers. They live in an area where there is considerable support for these kids and their parents within the school district. The reports, at first, were quite grim but now they are attending mainstream classes and functioning at a high level. Everyone in the family has been the recipient of behaviorial training every step of the way.

They are extremely well aware of the fact that they are very fortunate and that others have little or no help afforded to them.

All kids grow and change, and kids with autism do too - it can take them longer tho. I enjoy seeing kids with cognitive/developmental disabilities evolve as they come up in our program. A lot of it is social/emotional skills.

Also keep in mind that young children today have experienced several years of very abnormal conditions because of the pandemic, and this has impacted their development.

When we moved into our home 30+ years ago our neighbours had a nonverbal autistic son who was just entering high school. He had a full time care aid who would walk him to the school everyday and back. But at around 10pm he would start yelling and screaming and carry on for several hours. I felt so bad for the parents. Our bedroom was on that side of the house so I just shifted the bed to the other wall and kept the windows shut and we made it work.

At the time (and still) the wait lists for help are months or even years long and when help is available it is a fraction of what is needed to help both kids and parents.

When the young man reached 18 he was eligible for an adult group home, his parents found him a nice one, divorced, sold the house and went their separate ways.

There was a news report that I saw last night outlining what the 2+ years of covid lockdown has done to those families and kids who had needed and relied on various resources before covid and that weren't available during that time. As an example - the demand for tutors has grown exponentially for those kids who struggle in school and relied on help before. The need is great to get those kids back up to grade level.

The need is great, and the pool of professionals to provide it has dwindled, and is in short supply.

I too have wondered about what the future holds for these children when their parents do little to try to reduce their behaviors. For those that say they will become better with age what if they don't. Are you accepting of a middle aged person screaming at the top of their lungs either living beside you or walking/running in the area that you live in. There are ways that the behaviors can be modified and it is not always drugs. People are upset because of the homeless some of which do these same behaviors. I suspect considering the age of some in this area with these behaviors they are on the spectrum.

(((samkarenorkaren))) vent away

Would management install some sound-proofing in your apartment?

Why assume parents are doing nothing? Most do the best they know how. OP states they understand how difficult this must be for the family and that they're venting. The parents did apologize, and are described as nice people.

Being inside an apartment with a screaming kid is worse than being next door.

Hopefully this is a temporary issue.

Some of you are good at rationalizing suffering in silence without acting to try to remedy the problem. Whatever unfortunate condition the neighborhood kids are in, whatever treatment they do or don't get, whatever the parents do or don't do, are not samkaren's concern. Having a peaceful home is a reasonable expectation and the problem shouldn't be hers have to continue to rationalize having or to suffer through, full stop.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this. You sound like you have a great deal of empathy and understanding. As someone who is quite noise sensitive and values quiet, you have my utmost sympathy. I live in a single family home and there is a child that lives in the home behind me that loves to shriek endlessly from inside their pool that is built too close to our fenceline and echoes into our main living room and bedroom. It makes me crazy. And that is nothing compared with what you are experiencing. I'm so sorry. Vent away. If it were me, I would be investigating the option of moving because I don't think I could cope.

Samkaren, I am sorry you’ve been disrupted by these neighbors. I disagree with all the suggestions that YOU should move. No, No, you should not further disrupt your life in a place you like because of this current situation. I would not suffer in silence either.

As you have tried to be understanding, I would record the noise if you can and keep up with the dates and times for a week or two. Then present these results to your landlord and have the landlord address the issue with your neighbors. This is your evidence so retain a copy. You have a right to a peaceful existence. Best of luck!

I would guess that these children will be considered disabled and their disability has to be accommodated by the landlord. I would also guess the chances of any remedy involving the children's behavior is non-existent (such as non-renewal of their lease, or eviction). That is why the focus is on Samkaren and what she has control over. And it's not the neighbor kids.

Thanks everyone for your understanding and for letting me vent. Spoke with neighbor and he said they will be looking to move when their lease is up in May.

I guess that's something to look forward to - and in the meantime, I think noise-cancelling headphones might bring you some relief.

Great news for you! May can’t come quickly enough, I’m sure.

I really can't offer any advice because I really feel for you and I feel for the other family.

I think you've shown a lot of compassion and understanding and hopefully they find something that works for them and their neighbors.

Every so often I will see a family with a similar situation and I find it just sobering to think about that being a reality.

Well-said, Salonva. I'm sorry for your situation, Samkaren.

I’m glad you are on good terms with the family. They surely realize an apartment is not the best of living situatuons for them. Perhaps they can find a house which will suit their needs and budget. Hang in there.