Not stupid. Picking paint colors is always hard, and some rooms are just particularly challenging. I've seen a lot of rooms on this board, and believe me that your room qualifies as particularly challenging. Before you tackle paint, you should improve your lighting, since it can make all the difference in choosing colors. The room IS dark (look at the difference between your photos and the realtor's professionally lit photos!), and if you aren't getting light from outside, you need to compensate with more, better interior light. I don't see any floor or table lamps in your furnishings; that's one place to start. Are the foyer pendant, ceiling fan, and dining fixture the only ceiling lights in the room? Any recessed cans? I would start with brighter LEDs in all the ceiling fixtures, and maybe tweak the color temperature (though I think your problem is more that you don't have enough lumens than about color temperature). Can you address the carpet on the stairs without tackling the carpet in the upstairs? I was just looking at DIY stair carpet removal and refresh with paint. It's a lot of work. (https://www.remodelaholic.com/under-100-carpeted-stair-to-wooden-tread-makeover-diy/). I wouldn't paint the wood trim. My sympathies on your divorce. Regardless of the circumstances, the process is difficult and disruptive and expensive.

people have been using up-facing chandeliers forever, that's why they still make em' so dont be off-put by that, Same goes for a bell jar ( second style) tho they are not my first choice for task lighting, dining rooms are for eating. We do need to see the space so we can understand what is going on.. or a floor plan and some inspo.

We had someone come out last week, and he recommended 10 - 6” lights. We live in a community made up of mostly older homes, so recessed lighting is done pretty frequently. I just wanted to get some other ideas for comparison. We have another electrician coming out on Thursday. Thanks!

I like all the same temp. for lighting everywhere I use LED 4000K I like that it mimics bright daylight and keeps colors true all the time. I ave some made for dimmers and you need to make sure you get the right dimmer and bulbs for those areas. I usually place pot 4" about 4 ' apart . You can add LED art lights if you want but I find if there are pot lights above each area where you hang the art it seems to be all you need. I also think lighting in a LR needs to hove overall lighting and then for sure table lamps and somtimes floor lamps too. A good lighting store will help you do this right. In the kitchen again perimeter lighting that lights the whole kitcen, under cabinet and island task light. I like those 3 types to nbe on sepate switches I never use dimmers in the kitchen if I wany only a bit of light I use just the under cabinet.