I’m not an overly sentimental person but I still have an Avon bottle shaped like a bell that my father gave me when I was about 10 years old. I’m sure it wasn’t expensive and, well, you know it was Avon. I have three sisters and my father always bought us something special at Christmas, just from him. My mother didn’t even know what he had bought until we opened it.

I think at the time, maybe I would have preferred money from him but I think it was his little way of saying we were special to him. I’m glad he stuck to that thought and didn’t ask me what I wanted. It was a thoughtful gift.

It sits on the window in my bathroom.

I think the snowflake is a nice gift, nekotish. I hope you get the issue resolved.

nekotish didn't ask for judgment on whether we thought this was an appropriate gift. The OP knows her family and what would make a nice gift. Sounds lovely, and so sorry the boxes were messed up. Absolutely unacceptable. You cannot gift like that.

I have one that I love, I know this is kind of off topic but I use it for a sun catcher. The Swarovski crystal catches the sun and makes rainbows all over the walls of my bedroom.

Nekotish - that is such a lovely thought and I'm sure your daughters will treasure the snowflake.

I hope you have better luck with your local store tomorrow.

I'm tempted to comment, but seeing as I don't want to take this thread further off track, and knowing that my comment wouldn't make a bit of difference, I'm biting my tongue...or rather hobbling my fingers and am moving on.

Nekotish, I was wondering if there was a local store you could visit as they may even have a box in store to replace the damaged one....might be faster than seeking a remedy from an 800 #.

Elmer,

I do understand some of what you are saying. My parents' generation seemed to me the high mark of collecting for the Great American Middle Class. My Mom collected Lladro, Herend, Cloisonne etc. not to mention the ubiquitous fine china, silver and crystal. I am sure I am forgetting something.

Forget my college age kids ... in large measure, *I* do not want it. I have a tiny handful of all these many things my parents kept in glass-fronted hutches and china cabinets (which I also did not want and do not have).

Something about the boom of the mid-late century and the rise of the middle class convinced all these otherwise reasonable people to spend significant sums on little follies and tchotchkes, and then to put them in (lighted!) cabinets, almost as if for sale. It was what was done. I always found it odd, and I think it is good that younger people today are far less interested in things, especially largely useless items that used to be markers of status.

That doesn't mean there isn't a place for items solely of sentimental value or solely to spark joy or relive memories. Au contraire, it is important to have physical remembrances, even psychologically important they say. But the days when every middle class household had to have a large display of doodads are, IMHO, thankfully gone.

YMMV

How disappointing! ANY gift we want to be pristine when we give it. Back in the day I bought my first brand new Mustang (car). I ordered it to get it just the way I wanted it, color , sun roof etc. It came with several dents and dings. Then when I told the sales person he said "make a list' and we will fix. I took it to mean they KNEW and unless I found what was wrong they weren't going to fix things!!! It was an eye opening lesson to be sure. I agree mtnrdredux! Especially this season as I am putting out Christmas items I inherited, or was gifted while they were still alive mean ooodles to me and reminds me to stop and say a prayer for the loved one who has died. Memories are THE BEST gift ever!!!

This issue with customer service reminded me of yesterday's Dilbert...especially good for fans of Quantum theory...

Hahah Mtnrd, you have described my DR hutch exactly. It has stuff in it I have no desire to keep except that it came from family like the hummel figurine. But it also has stuff of sentimental value for us...such as a wedding gift from a friend who has passed. So it stays on display and lit up for dining as it lends a soft light...hopefully not looking like it's for sale though!

But having just cleaned out the cabinet in the FR, I'd suggest each generation...or perhaps each decade... has its own collectibles...when you consider how many CDs I stowed...don't use them any more but can't toss them either...

What a lovely, touching gift. I'm so sorry that the company has been such a disappointment. I'd feel the same way as you.

I also think it's related to one's age. When I was a teen, I had little interest in memorabilia or hand-me-downs. It wasn't until years later that I wish I'd saved certain items for which I find I still have fond memories.

I'm a memory keeper and I think the snowflake is a lovely memory to give. It is disappointing that the packaging was damaged and they can't just send you a new one.

And a bit of a note about crafter market beads. Swarovski discontinued doing so last year. Some sellers now require designer license for people to buy beads, other companies have been selling out of stock with what they have and replacing with other crystal companies.

I can see why nekotish wants an original box. I'm decorating the tree this morning and pulled out my Swarovski. They are recessed into a fitted form and then there is blue sleeve that slides over the box. These are two that my DD gave me.

beeneeds, I had no idea...I used the S. crystal beads on the veil I made for a bride several years back...not sure how many left over I still have.

I think that is a wonderful gift to remember their grandfather by and hope it gets resolved.

I am a nostalgic person, especially when it comes to Christmas. I have a Shiny Brite ornament that was my special one as a child, so it is almost seventy years old. Both of my parents had ornaments that were theirs as a child, and my sister has those hundred-year-old ornaments now. Many of the ornaments on my tree are similar to ornaments on our tree when I was a child. I chose them because they reminded me of home and joyful Christmases as a child.

I can't fathom the type of person who is so devoid of sentimentality that an ornament, or any gift, given as a remembrance would be just another thing to get rid of if it didn't suit their taste. Or to be warned "Don't bother, because I'll only throw it away." I wouldn't gift them anything!

i think your idea is wonderful and i'm sure the snowflakes will be treasured for years to come and eventually perhaps handed down to their own children some day.

"please don't give us something you guess we may want to have without asking if we in fact do. Your money will be wasted because we'll toss it if we don't like or want it."

if my grown son said that (or anything closely resembling that) to me, he'd get a sack of coal.

I understand being disappointed in the damaged box, but it's what inside that counts. Your daughters will cherish that ornament no matter what it came in.

Elmer, with all due respect, I agree about being obtuse. The ornament is a pre-planned gift to their late grandfather who recently passed away.

As someone whose grandparents passed before I was born, I'd give almost anything if I had just one gift meant for ME, from my grandparents.

Short story. I am a sentimental person, and I never had a daughter or sister. Every few months I'd take my boys to a children's bookstore in the city which has since closed.

The first time we went I was amazed at all the books for children. I live in a rural area where there are no bookstores. While the boys browsed I did the same. When I saw this book I bought it immediately. Not for me, for my future granddaughter who may or may not be conceived some 20 years or so in the future.

Over the years I bought my future granddaughter many books.

When DGD was about four, she was in our book nook looking at the children's books I saved. She pulled this book out and asked when I bought it. Strange question from a 4 year old. It was only a few weeks ago when my now 12 year old GD was in the book nook and found another book and asked the same question.

I told her I bought the book over 30 years ago, long before she was born. Now that she can understand, she gave me a mild surprised look while it was registering with her. Then she got a smile I'll never forget.

Call me vain but I want her to remember ME, not money.

Never having a grandmother obviously did a number on me. Give the girls their ornament.

Anabel's House is no longer published, and the link will show you why I had to get this book for my future granddaughter.

"please don't give us something you guess we may want to have without asking if we in fact do. Your money will be wasted because we'll toss it if we don't like or want it."

I am guessing Elmer's kids did not say this as they were unwrapping gifts Christmas morning, probably didn't phrase it so bluntly, and were probably talking about large and/or expensive items. Why can't children be frank with their parents? A friend of mine was telling me recently that for some reason her MIL thought she liked xyz (i forget what it was exactly but some sort of $$$ collectible) and so gave them to her every holiday for years and now she has tons of it. It was told as a funny story, but I think it's a little sad too. The MIL was trying but the DIL never communicated. My stepson similarly complains that his mom gives him all sorts of large things (gifts, and heirlooms) for which he has no room. One should be grateful for gifts, but as a giver I would want to know if I am missing the mark and/or being wasteful, especially with my own children.

Annie, I don't consider CDs a collectible in the same vein as figurines and such. They had a use and its not your fault technology changes.

Pal, i don't see it as purity so much as sanity.

Maybe a finer local Jewlry store will sell you a nice bag for your gift. Best of luck, I do not blame you for being upset.

My take on the whole idea of "Collectibles" 80s and 90s style, from the collector knives in the National Enquirer to the Franklin Mint, is that this was sort of a racket. So much of it produced in such numbers that at first it creates the Dutch Tulip Craze effect, where if you were missing a Norman Rockwell plate in 1983 the prices for a particular plate would skyrocket temporarily and now of course they aren't worth the shipping.

But I have no problem with collections of things that aren't pre-programmed "sets" of collections, not at all. I think if nobody collected anything life would be awfully boring, and then everything becomes disposable.

I think the flip side of people not collecting things like Christmas ornaments and decorations is not so much sanity as buying into disposability. I know people who go to Michaels or discount stores and buy a bunch of cheap holiday stuff and throw it all away at the end of the season or a couple seasons. I know people who buy cheap holiday plates and tableware for Thanksgiving or Christmas and literally pick up the corners of the tablecloth at the end of dinner and it all goes into a giant garbage bag. Because they don't want "so much stuff" cluttering their house. So they annex it temporarily and it goes to the landfill. But they are all Marie Kando and such because they aren't tied into keeping things.

I do buy a dated Christmas bell every year and I have each year back to 1967. That's my one "collectible" collection. And they are sterling, not plate so at the vary least they probably have some scrap value.

I agree with Annie that it's at least partially related to age too.

When I was in my 20/s and 30/s, I didn't want anything "old" either. I had no interest in family heirlooms, or antiques, or anything along those lines.

When I started furnishing my first home, both my own parents and my spouse's offered us the ability to shop their cellars. I was so poor at the time it was that or use milk crates. So I took a whole bunch of "old brown" case goods that neither set of parents were using at the time.

I also bought some stuff new, as finances allowed.

And here we are thirty (ahem) years later....and the old brown wood stuff which was all built like a tank is still thriving in my subsequent homes, and the New Stuff that I bought has all mostly disintegrated.

I love all those various pieces today, and I am so grateful I took it back then.

My mother's jewelry back then meant nothing to me. I cherish it now. She has since passed on. I don't wear most of it, but just looking at a few pieces which meant a lot to her mean a lot to me.

(Side note - if I had ever so much as hinted that this MIGHT be true: please don't give us something you guess we may want to have without asking if we in fact do. Your money will be wasted because we'll toss it if we don't like or want it., my depression era parents would have likely never given me so much as a nickel ever again. )

my depression era parents would have likely never given me so much as a nickel ever again

Not everything is black and white. Hopefully one should be able to have a nuanced enough conversation between parents and children to communicate gratefulness while at the same time being honest.

My stepson lives in a small apartment. His Mom gave him and his wife a huge fake fireplace from PB. It's actually very nice, but cost nearly $1000 and he literally has no wall space for it. He did not want to offend her so it sits in his garage. It was a large expenditure for her, and it is large amount for them too. Is there no middle ground here between grateful, wonderful son and crass, money grubbing scoundrel? Of course there is.

That is all I am suggesting; I am not saying that Elmer's exact example of wording is a fine mantra for our kids and should be embroidered on lumbar pillows.

Generally, I would never impose with a large or expensive gift unless I was certain it was wanted.

Once we were past the toy stage, I don't recall my parents giving any of us anything but cash. All these years later, the memory of a check or folding money doesn't hold the same sentimental value as an object. I think the dated crystal snowflake is a perfect memento.

My in-laws and my grandparents gave us some items that were well-intentioned but missed the mark. As the giver passed away, most of those things have been donated and I hope someone somewhere loves them. And no, I never had the heart or courage to tell them "Thank you, but ___ doesn't fit my taste."

There has to be a balance somewhere. I think there has to be some awareness on the Giver's side of the gift-giving situation, and it's true that sometimes the gifts are more of a projection by the giver than they are actually something the receiver would like.

I actually do not like to receive physical gifts very much, I don't feel like I need very much and for the things I do like to collect, for example, this is something very personal and I have a hard time even defining myself what it is about something that I like, so I would hardly expect someone else to be able to sort that out. So I like to be given something purely practical, like a plain hat or pair of gloves, a book, or a non-expiring restaurant gift-card.

On the other hand I am a pretty intuitive gift-giver for the people I like to buy gifts for, because I pay attention to what they like. And I ask people to whom I give repetitive sorts of gifts to, "is this something that you would still want or have you had enough?" --not at the time but away from the gift giving season. And I also don't like to give gifts to people just to give something and I don't like to receive gifts just to receive something.

Mtn - perhaps the italicized quote is poorly worded then. It is the bolded part that bothered me. Again, my parents grew up in the depression, both dirt poor. That childhood shapes a person forever, and although they had improved their situation by the time I arrived on the scene, I grew up with parents who knew what it was like to be that poor.

One of the values they instilled in me is/was gratitude.

Yes, nuanced conversations are a part of adulthood. And yes, I'm sure we've all been on the receiving end of absolutely garbage gifts. (Side note - That could be a fun thread and I've had some winners!)

However, it is literally unfathomable for me to tell my parents (were they still alive) that if I didn't like something they gave me as a gift that I would throw it away.

Nekotish, your daughters will always look at that ornament and think of their grandfather. I know my daughters would even the one who considers herself very hip and modern and not into stuff.

Oakley, I totally get it. My youngest granddaughters who are 16 would think the book is neat, but my future GGD's will love it.

because I pay attention to what they like. And I ask people to whom I give repetitive sorts of gifts to, "is this something that you would still want or have you had enough?" --not at the time but away from the gift giving season.

Great practice. Kudos.

And I also don't like to give gifts to people just to give something and I don't like to receive gifts just to receive something.

This is why DH so resents the Military Industrial Holiday Complex. He likes to (and does) give me gifts and flowers rather randomly. Both of us dislike being compelled to find a gift.now because of a date on the calendar. Our gifts to each other always include a very thoughtful card, but can range from very mundane to quite extravagant.

Nekotish, your daughters will always look a that ornament and think of their grandfather.

Yes, this. That is the best!

"little follies and tchotchkes, and then to put them in (lighted!) cabinets "

This practice was maybe more common in other parts of the country than where I am but I think this comment is maybe in the neighborhood of what I was getting at - givers assuming that their tastes and practices are the same and in line with the intended recipients' views.

I don't ever want to be the giver of a white elephant gift. I don't assume what someone would appreciate receiving and don't presuppose or impose my tastes or preferences on others. As part of the same conversation, not everyone is sentimental, nostalgic, or interested in receiving someone else's idea of a treasure. Some are and that's fine. Some people don't appreciate or want to accept that their preferences aren't universally held - that's too common but also okay. My comments seem to have opened this related element to the conversation and that's good.

Pallimpest put my gift giving/receiving feelings into much better words than I could.

Someone might threaten to throw a gift out to shock the giver into PAYING ATTENTION. Maybe it will shock the giver into not giving them gifts, which could be the recievers goal. Not everyone wants or needs gifts, regardless of how perfect the giver thinks the gift is. Maybe the receiver has already hinted, suggested, or stated outright ”no gifts” and yet they keep on coming.

@nekotish Contact customer service again. At the very least, Swarovski should offer a really good coupon for a future purchase.

As for the current ornaments, repackage both of them in nice gift boxes with a note inside, maybe it will make them feel even more personal.

That's too bad. I believe Costco Canada online still has them. I was going to buy one last week. $79.99 Swarovski

These are your daughters, so you know them well enough (duh) to know that they will certainly appreciate the snowflakes. Grandparents are such treasures. If your local store cannot get you an pristine sleeve, I would do as Seattle suggested and put both of the ornaments in a gift box. I think it is a lovely remembrance and I woud not waste any more time worrying about it.

If Swarovski doesn’t have the proper box, I would ask for a big refund. There are people who collect and resell Swarovski items. If the item comes in the original box people pay more on the resale market.

By not having the proper box, Swarovski is taking away your ability to earn money for a new Tesla - JK

Nice gift for your daughters. 🎄

Yes, what Maddie said... as I said way back "Not acceptable. Luxury items without pristine packaging are valued at a lower price."

Not to say you are buying them for resale value but to make the point that you aren't the only one that wants the nice box.

Uffda!

Sitting here next to our DD's 6' high lighted curio cabinet with 5 heavy glass shelves. The interior base is the 6th "shelf" if you will. There's 100 (??) Swarovski pieces in there.....from a $700 Parrot (a few years old...), down to the little Bears, Penguins, Christmas edition pieces, etc.

DD probably has a packing item you need! An entire closet is almost full of the Blue boxes with the associated packing. Yikes!!

Faron

That's a lot of Swarovski! A great woman from a nearby store is making a phone call on my behlaf, so we shall see.

@Elmer J Fudd, I am feeling really sad for you. My mother spent 11 months of the year shopping for the perfect Christmas gifts for each of us. She took great care, talking to us, listening to us and knowing who we were and what we liked. She collected the fronts of all the cards she received and used them as gift tags. She took time to sort through the cards and pick out ones that she thought each of us would like and then carefully packaged our gifts and wrapped them with gift wrap that would go with the gift cards she had chosen for us.

We grew up knowing that gift giving was a symbol of the love we felt for one another. We didn't just pick out something to give to each other, we picked out the perfect gift. Sometimes we didn't have much money so we may have only bought something small, but even if it was just a candle that candle would be their favorite scent and a color that would look nice in their kitchen.

There were years when Hallmark made an exceptional brother, sister, mother or dad Christmas card. We knew it was the perfect card when 3 or more of us bought the same card.

I can't imagine not knowing even my grand nieces and nephews well enough that I couldn't pick a gift for them that they wouldn't treasure. Not knowing my own kids well enough to be able to pick a gift that they wouldn't want to throw in the trash or give away would break my heart.

@nekotish - I think your gift in memory of their granddad is a wonderful Christmas Gift.

Did she not have better ways to spend her time and more worthwhile things to do?

i think it's safe to say jennifer's mother had plenty of ways to spend her time, not the least of which was raising thoughtful, caring children.

my mom was the same way although i never got the pony i so desperately wanted. my mom knew i had no use for dolls and girly stuff. instead, i got lots of pony coloring books and pony statues. the pony statues that made it through my childhood intact are still with me and i treasure them.

trivial? i treasure the memories of imaging my mom searching high and low for the perfect pretend pony to put under the Christmas tree.

The bottom line is gifts are not important to all people. Every family, and every person, has their own traditions, hopes, like and dislikes about the gift giving process. We should just accept opinions will vary. We can respect another opinion on gifts without feeling sad or critical that the opinions don’t align.

Fingers crossed the OP gets satisfaction on her situation.

Exactly, hhireno! As nekotish said ”My post was about dissatisfaction with a well known company.”

I hope it gets resolved.

What could possibly be more worthwhile than showing your children that they are important, worthy of your love and demonstrating that true joy is found in giving to others and not focusing on yourself?

How do you judge successful parenting? My parents raised 6 children who grew up to be self-confident, charitable, caring individuals who love learning and experiencing life and have had successful careers. Beyond our success as individuals, we are still best of friends, gathering regularly to play cards, celebrate holidays, do our shopping or just to spend time together. Rarely does a day pass where I don't talk on the phone with at least one of my siblings.

I can't imagine anything would give my mother or my father greater joy or make their lives more meaningful than knowing that they were successful as parents.

Your second paragraph applies to my family, even the six siblings. And my childhood involved gift exchanges, but gifts are not as important to us as it seems they are to you 🤷🏼‍♀️. It seems you have trouble believing others can be happy, successful, fulfilled, decent humans if they don’t hold your family’s practices and values. Your feelings about gifts are not my feelings and that’s fine. Most fortunately, we are not in a gift exchange with each other so neither will be sad.

@hhireno - I think you misinterpreted what I was saying. I was responding to someone who said their children told them that the gifts they gave to them were not things they would use or appreciate. I do feel sad that they don't know their children well enough to know what they would like. I stated that my mother "took great care, talking to us, listening to us and knowing who we were and what we liked." Gift giving was one of many ways that she showed her love for us and our importance to her. My dad didn't buy gifts, but spent time with us and was always there for us.

Our family has grown to over 30 people with siblings, spouses, children and grandchildren. We don't all exchange gifts, but we still do loving and caring things for one another.

This year, my oldest sister broke her pelvis. Her husband has advanced Parkinson's.

My middle sister and I are decorating my oldest sister's home for her and helping her with shopping and wrapping so that her Christmas with her children is everything she needs it to be.

I am baking Apricot crescents for the entire family because I can still roll dough without difficulty and this was one of my mother's traditional Christmas pastry. We used to bake these together, but none of my sisters or sister in laws can roll pastries anymore. Bad backs, wrists, broken pelvis. . . I have two of my nieces coming to help and learn how to bake them, so that someday they can take over the baking.

I love building puzzles and for years have built a Christmas Puzzle each Christmas. I told my middle sister that I wouldn't be doing that this year - no time, stretched way too thin. (Still working full time and painting and replacing the flooring in my living room this Christmas.)

She bought a puzzle, built the puzzle and then took it apart, placing 20 or so interconnecting pieces into 24 small boxes. She gave it to me as an advent calendar. Each day I take a few minutes to put together 20 puzzle pieces.

I could go on with a dozen more examples of things we are doing for one another this holiday season, but my point is that it isn't about the gift - it is about giving of ourselves to make someone else's holiday better.

That was the true gift my parents bestowed on us.

i like to find unique gifts although it can be difficult sometimes. my grandson is 6 so i did buy a couple of things that will be for both him and dad (a complicated lego set, a telescope).

my son and his wife hosted thanksgiving this year, i spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my d-i-l. she loves to cook and i had been trying to think of things she would like.

while tasting my gravy, she lamented that only one of her "tasting spoons" made it through their move 3 years ago, apparently the others were lost. i took a photo of the one she used and found a set of 10, the exact same design, so ordered those for Christmas. another thing that got lost in the move was a recipe book for all kinds of different hot chocolate mixes. found one on amazon and ordered that, too.

love building puzzles and for years have built a Christmas Puzzle each Christmas. I told my middle sister that I wouldn't be doing that this year - no time, stretched way too thin. (Still working full time and painting and replacing the flooring in my living room this Christmas.)

She bought a puzzle, built the puzzle and then took it apart, placing 20 or so interconnecting pieces into 24 small boxes. She gave it to me as an advent calendar. Each day I take a few minutes to put together 20 puzzle pieces.

What a lovely gesture - truly the spirit of Christmas in my opinion. So, Swarovski is sending me a substantial gift card and while I may not use it myself, I will certainly be able to donate it to a silent auction or raffle or something. In the meantime, the friend of a friend who I had vented to buys herself an ornament each year and said she would be happy to give me the sleeve from her ornament this year. So, it has all worked out in the end. One of my favourite lines from a movie is from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel where the young fellow tells people that "it will all work out in the end and if it has not worked out, it isn't the end." Thank you all for your kind support and I have enjoyed hearing everyone's take on gift giving.

Totally stealing that puzzle idea! very cool.

That puzzle idea is wonderful! And no calories!!