Kids and money gift question
colduphere
last year
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College Graduation Gift - what can you give besides money?
Comments (13)My DH just received his MAster's Degree this past weekend. I bought him a custom made frame for his Degree. The company is great to work with and the frame is gorgeous! Here is their website: http://www.usadiplomaframes.com/ Or, do you know what he'll be doing? Maybe a framed print for an office wall or something that represents something that he is interested in. When DH received his undergrad he received a beautiful clock from his Dad for his office. Just some thoughts, I hope they help! Gina...See Moreforum for parents of bright/gifted kids?
Comments (34)Luth, I think it's that we, as parents, are more educated now and that our society is more open to Learning Disabilities. When I was growing up, you never heard of Ritalin, Adderal or any of the other meds out there. (I've talked to my own mom about this & my siblings and I were all probably ADD/ADHD.) Actually my nephew is ADD & his psychiatrist told my sis that she was ADHD, just by watching her behavior! I remember my sister having problems concentrating during school (K or 1st grade) because it was boring to her (she later skipped a grade). When our little bro's IQ was tested, it was just a few points from genius. But he's killed all his brain cells now with illegal drug use. Maybe if the resources available now had been available 30 years ago, things would have been different for him. (He did & still does fit into almost every category for ADHD.) I'm the parent of two tween girls. My oldest was diagnosed as being ADHD when she was 4 months into Kindergarten. She had severe behavior problems at school (climbing on the tables, under the tables, talking over the teacher, much more). After she began treatment for ADHD, there was an apparent difference. We (her doctor, her teacher & I) had a very good relationship though it all. She had dealt beautifully with her ADHD for several years & then WAM! Puberty! Actually her teachers last year didn't even know that she was ADHD until I mentioned it. (She's not currently on a 504 plan.) She's always had an extremely large vocabulary. By the time she was in 2nd grade she was reading on at least 5th grade level. She's now in 7th grade & is reading on 11-12 grade level. She's always been exposed to as much as I can expose her to. She's been taking music for the past 4-5 years. (She started on piano, but also taking clarinet & is 2nd chair on her Junior High band.) They both have picked up some foreign language too. (I took German a few years ago & they practiced with me. I've also had to purchase French tapes for them.) Now, my little one (age 10) is quietier than her big sis, but she's also got a HUGE vocabulary. Her school tests reading comp every 6 weeks & hers was 1026 on the Lexile table this past week. She's been reading above 9th grade for the past 2 years. Her teachers last year told me that she would have been in the Gifted/Talented program except that she's TOO quiet! She's taken violin since she was 5 & decided this summer that she wanted to learn flute too. Good luck with your soon-to-be little one....See MoreSecond Marriage and The Kids Money
Comments (64)Tracy - If you've never actually been abused, it's hard to see how it can happen to a strong, capable and emotionally healthy person. And when you see abused women rationalizing and excusing their abuser's behavior, blaming themselves, and walking on eggshells -- I admit -- there's a repulsiveness to this behavior. There's a part of us that wants to just slap them upside the head to clear their vision, and the temptation to blame them for allowing it to happen is strong. I mean - What self-respecting woman would put up with such garbage?! But abuse doesn't go from non-existent to full-blown. By the time the abuse is readily visible to any normal outsider, it has been building insidiously for years, and the victem's perspective has already been so skewed that she (or he) can no longer see things clearly. By the time the abuse is clear-cut, the self-respect of the person in question is already badly damaged, and they're questioning their perceptions. It starts as a little quirk, an indulgence or 'one time thing'. A request that's inappropriate but small (not worth arguing about), a comment that could be taken the wrong way (or did he mean it that way?), a slight, or a fleeting look of contempt. Things that in isolation, would and should be excused. But then they don't stay in isolation. Events get more slightly more frequent, less ambiguous, more insensitive -- but only slightly more offensive than the stuff we've already learned to tolerate. It's the proverbial frog in warm water situation; the water gets hotter and hotter, but still, the frog won't jump out. On the day of my first marriage, we left the reception and went back to Hubby's hotel. We had a few hours to pick up his luggage before heading to the airport to leave for our honeymoon. Only Hubby hadn't actually packed his suitcase, and he turned on the TV. My feelings were hurt, that Hubby's immediate post-wedding plans weren't of the 'rip her clothes off' variety, but what bride wants to spoil her wedding day by fighting with her brand new husband about when he should have packed his suitcase? Was this abusive? Insensitive, sure. But abusive? Not the term most of us would use. Yet with the clarity of hindsight, I can assure you that it absolutely was abusive. It was the start of a long campaign to diminish my value, my attractiveness, my worth and sense of self-worth. But who'd have left over an unpacked suitcase? Amaulden - I know you can't trust your own perceptions right now. You're wondering if it's really all that bad. After all, ALL of it isn't bad, and we've only heard one side of the story. But your friends, your parents, your children (if they're old enough) -- They may be able to see more clearly. If he doesn't treat you with respect, that's real and serious, and losing him would be the very best thing you could do. But do it on YOUR OWN TERMS --...See MoreHusband expects me to leave my money to all kids equally.
Comments (30)Hi everyone. This is the original Dalda nearly 7 years later. Amazing things happen when you have an excellent lawyer who puts things in motion and types up divorce papers under 48 hours. I was finally able to get a divorce. I sent my stepbrother, his wife and nibling on a 6 months full paid vacation. He's too busy, so he took one month off each year to visit each continent except the two poles. LoL. I have set up a educational trust fund for nibling. So nibling can study whatever and wherever nibling wants. Stepbrother is extremely well off on his own, and did not want or need it. But he took care of my lovely mother and wonderful stepfather for years. My stepfathers best friend was my lawyer, stepfather was the man who got down on one knee at 60 years to me and my sister and asked our consent to become family. He knew everything about the inheritance even about the extra millions and kept mumm and guided me, mentored me. Bless him. As for my divorce, ex-H contested it, it dragged on for 8 months, he had a grandchild. Without him being in contact with me or dear daughter for 4 months, we were invited to the birth of the child via a call and text. I promptly congratulated and sent a gift. Then continuously for 2 months me and daughter were bombarded with a few hundred photos of the child. Daughter was completely abandoned by him, distraught and blocked him on all media. Step kids did not remove their possessions even after written notice, I had to pack all their stuff and delivered it to their respective residents via courier service. With proof of delivery and acceptance. I must mention here that ex-h in the end was physically abusive to me. For years I was told I'm too dumb to do a PhD, I wouldn't be able to cope with the family and studies and work. I did not know that he had been funneling money from my account to his for 16 years. He was mentally abusive, which I didn't understand then. But during my daughters therapy sessions I broke down and discussed myself with the therapist and they pointed out exactly how I was being manipulated and brainwashed for 16 years into being under his thumb. They sued me for financial support, mental torture abuse, they WANTED 1 million of the 2 my parents left me, my family heirlooms, access to my house and lost spectacularly. I must write one line from the judges verdict, it went somewhat like this, it seems unfortunate that Mr. X and two of your children have been consumed by greed. You have failed to show one valid reason why you should be granted one cent. As for Mr. X, you should be ashamed as you have forgotten that you have another 15 year old daughter. Daughter and I faced a lot of vile words, threats from ex. He went to her school and tried to force her to sign papers. Tried to make her understand how and why she should share her good windfall. On my 40th birthday, I had a call and had to urgently visit my father's lawyer, telling a shocked and crying me that Instead of 2 million, my inheritance came up to 18 million in total. As my father bless him, left everything he had to me and my sister a few years later, which unknown to us was left to us to be given when we reach 40. I heard from ex-in laws that they flipped. In anger stepdaughter screamed, and broke stuff, ex ranted for days how he should have just sucked up and left his adult kids be, his life would be so much better. Ex got married twice. Him and his son sued me again, and lost, Spectacularly again. At 16 daughter won a full scholarship (she has mama's brains) and went on to an ivy league college with 4 GPA. She's 20 and blooming. With my consent she has set up a trust fund for anonymous merit scholarships for underprivileged students, we also support a local women's shelter for abused women and children. I rented out my house, which was too huge for only two people and moved to a town near her college, was a able to get a much better job in my field, which I did not know I was capable of, went on to do my PhD and Post Doctorate on full merit scholarship, I'm still doing it, it is extremely hard work. And two years later of my divorce I met a wonderful man through my work, my daughter and his daughter. Yes, it's weird. We took it slow, we have been married for two years now. Smooth sailing so far. We both have similar experience with exs and near same financial backgrounds, education. I must mention my amazing stepdaughter gave near same amount to the scholarship fund for underprivileged children from her own business. She has been a positive influence on daughter and guide her like my brother did me and my sister, like a protective wing. We agreed on an airtight prenup. Life is and can be bliss if you have the guts to leave your abusive and greedy mooching partner....See MoreJen K (7b, 8a)
last yearcolduphere
last year
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