Morning all!

I am feeling pretty good this morning-- despite a lot of celebration activities, food and cocktails, I remain steady at my lowest weight. I am not sure how that happened lol-- but I am not going to question it!

I am especially motivated this morning-- I had mentally prepared myself for a gain so just staying steady almost feels like a loss. LOL. I'll take the motivation wherever it comes from. It's good to start this next week feeling ready to do good things and make strides forward -- vs trying to make up ground.

Funky, I'm so glad you're newly motivated--congratulations! I think that's further testament to what JustDoIt states that it's not about the daily or weekly, but the overall. I hope all the festivities went well, too.

Congratulation, JustDoIt--that's wonderful progress! I hope you find a physical activity that you enjoy (that's the key for me).

I'm steady and feeling good. My upcoming challenge will be later this week when I take a road trip. I tend use road trips as excuses to eat gas station snacks with wild abandon. Like a 6-yo who was handed $50 and told to choose whatever they want. For my last trip, I prepped veggies, nuts and lots of gum, and those kept me occupied during the drive. I'll use this same strategy this time, as well. Once I arrive (visiting a friend and DS), I'm good about eating healthy at the destination.

I'm also going to 4 good workouts in before I leave. That's the plan.

Thanks for continuing this, Funky, and good luck to everyone this week!

Funky very happy for you.! I think that is the real trick is weight and exercise maintenance. Sounds like you've got that in the bag as it were.

Congratulations Justdoit! Yes while the journey is important the end result must be kept in mind.. she says knowing that she's a big fail on that lots.

I am on an elimination diet. I have been having nothing but migraines for the last 6 months. I am still working I am still walking I am still exercising but it is punctuated by too many migraines. So back to the more limited diet to see how much of it is weather and hormones.

So with not very many choices I've been eating a ton of my flat bread and making it into everything. Anyone who hates pineapple on their pizza or pizza like things avert your head now. I love pineapple on my pizza or at least what I call pizza.

I think I actually hid the pineapple very well. It was delicious and fortunately not too high in calories as I usually only use one coconut tortilla at a time.

@JustDoIt, that is amazing progress! You are absolutely right that the focus needs to be overall progress. I have a similar goal for the rest of the year and like you, the key for me is to get moving! We can do this!

@Feathers11, ahhh road trips! They bring back memories of mixtapes, licorice and doritos! LOL You are so wise to pack nuts, fruit and gum! Fill up your water bottle and your playlists and have a safe and wonderful trip!

@yeonassky, I am so sorry that you are suffering from migraines. I have only ever had one in my lifetime but I will never forget it. I wish you peace and relief. I do love pineapple but not sure I can embrace it on pizza.. maybe a white pizza. I do love pineapple in other savory applications like curry and kebabs so maybe I should give it a try. We used the pink pineapple on kebabs yesterday and it was sublime.. so so very good!

I was supposed to submit a grocery order today to ensure I have a good and healthy week but I honestly couldn't think about food or meal plans. I have been lazy all around this rainy sunday. I have shrimp that I will need to cook so that and watermelon will cover me for a few days.

I am going to ”art camp” later this week for 4 days in western MA. Staying at an airbnb with limited kitchen facilities. This is usually my excuse for eating junk, while no one is watching LOL. But my plan is to hit the cute country grocer and buy ONLY healthy foods! The ”camp” has very healthy options for lunch so during the day while I’m there, I know I’ll be eating well. Last year the food was a little too earthy-tofu for me so I actually mostly just had salads for lunch. And they had great iced tea!

Meanwhile, I am continuing my weekly private pilates, trying to eventually graduate to small group classes but I have quite a bit of travel coming up during the next month so it will be a while before I get into a routine. I was blaming my spring/summer weight gain on covid but I actually think it’s more likely related to the fact that I stopped taking estrogen earlier this year. It has been really hard to shake these pounds.

Art camp sounds like fun, Sue-- and a small town country grocer sounds like a perfect way to eat well. A billion years ago, I worked at a small country store in western MA. All i can say is stay away from the cider donuts! They are addicting!

Menopause has not my friend either-- we have an ongoing battle for my waist!

Hmmm…Atkins Farm?? Famous for their donuts!

Yes, indeed!

Funky- so glad your party went well and you are staying at your lowest. That is nice to be moving forward instead of catching up as the week starts - good point. Justdoit- wow! you are making such great progress. Good for you!

Sue - art camp sounds fun, and I bet you're on to something with the estrogen. Hormones definitely are at play at this stage. I don't know what can be done about that. I'm in the same boat I'm sure.

My week was good - I'm really pretty steady now, other than the socializing and alcohol. I met with my nutritionist Thursday and she told me I was really improving and I was "metabolically flexible" now :) My numbers do look good and I've noticed I can add on a couple chips a the end of a meal, or some fruit and keep my numbers in line. I'm happy about that, because that seems like a very healthy result of this lifestyle change. I'm also adding in some short walks or trampoline jumping after I eat when I can to keep my numbers in line. My app switched to a green or red score for the day - kind of all or nothing, so I'm newly motivated not to screw up my day with a barely spike when I could have walked it away.

I'm continuing with my long somewhat slow fasted morning walks, as that really seems to set my levels properly for the day.

We are traveling again this weekend to a wedding, so I am going to concentrate on more of the same, but add in some more water, so hopefully I can keep any weight swings to a minimum.

And, i just screwed up my green checkmark day with grapefruit. First time I tried that, and the spike was enough to send me too high. I thought after a full meal with lots of protein and fiber, I would be ok. Still learning:)

Isnt that something-- you have all your normal foods figured out and then one new thing throws everything off! @legomom23 so I guess Glycemic Index is completely out the window?? Must be if grapefruit is spiking your blood sugar! I used glycemic index as a guide for many years-- in fact, I still do out of habit. I'll have to deprogram my brain.

The good news is each of these surprises gives you more info for the future... you'll get more green checks!

So, it ended up the app still gave me a green check yesterday. I'm not quite sure how it figures that out, because it was a spike comparable to the day before both in rise in glucose and time over optimum level in my opinion, but not quite. Maybe I was just borderline.

Looking back on it today though, I don't want to worry too much about it. The app I am using is very strict with the numbers and I am trying to go along with that, both for weight loss and fixing my metabolic function. But I am not going to beat myself up over grapefruit. It counted as a plant product I hadn't eaten yet, so there was still a lot of benefit to it. Now, the day before was a couple too many tortilla chips that caused the spike. No nutritional value, too easy to overeat, etc. Those are the foods I need to stay away from. Not grapefruit:)

I do need to watch my fruits though, in general. I am able to eat strawberries after a meal without a spike. Watermelon I still can't do - probably because I love it too much and automatically eat too much. I'll probably try grapefruit again in the future, though. It's a great winter time fruit.

Menopause has not my friend either-- we have an ongoing battle for my waist!

Truer words.

Time devoted to daily exercise (walking) has gone up about 300% since Clementine, my new lab puppy, came to live with me.

What an adorable exercise partner, Lucille!

This week has been a challenge. I have managed to exercise every day, but had to decrease some of the level of exercising since I started feeling a bit unwell Tuesday night. Trying to get extra sleep and drink lots of water to compensate. Monday I learned that my company has been acquired by an equity fund and is replacing our CEO with one of theirs. In some ways this may be a very good thing for our company which has been stagnating without the resources to expand our sales and marketing departments, but it's also incredibly stressful. I've enjoyed working at this company for 7 years and I feel responsible the team I manage. This also happens to be during a very stressful two weeks where I'll be managing a lot of chaos to plan out the next quarter. Next week I need to go into work twice because of the new acquisition so add a little social anxiety into the mix as well and it will disrupt one of my fasting days. Oh well, I can only do my best.

@lucillle your new exercise companion is adorable! I definitely find that my shepherd helps keep me active. Clementine has the sweetest face.

@JustDoIt congratulations on 39lbs!! That's fantastic!

@Feathers11 I love your strategy of prepping healthy snacks for roadtrips. I too struggle with finding myself wanting to snack on unhealthy things when on the road. My husband always grabs unhealthy gas station snacks and it makes me want them too.

@Sueb20 your art camp sounds amazing!

@pricklypearcactus, wow, I am sorry you are dealing with so much. I am sure your body is still responding to the dietary changes and then the universe decided to pile on stress, change and discomfort! I haven't been feeling great either-- at first I chalked it up to allergies and now I am thinking it may be the change of seasons. i am not sleeping properly or drinking as much water as normal and it is completely throwing me off. The single best thing you can do for yourself is to give your body what it needs. You are clearly in tune with your body so you know that making your health and exercise top priority is going to allow you to better deal with the stress and upheaval at work. FWIW I started IF in the middle of extreme work stress and the start of the pandemic. I noticed very quickly that I was in a better headspace and better able to deal with unexpected issues, setbacks and the garden variety ah----s and still manage my sanity and start each day with drive and enthusiasm! I know I don't need to sell you on IF LOL.. but my point is, I am not sure I would be so committed to it had I not seen how much IF impacted my health-- mental and physical. (along with other healthy changes)

Hang in there -- and I hope the changing of the guard does end up being a strong and positive move for you and your team!

@lucillle what a sweetie! And great motivation! I have considered looking into a service dog to help with my vision issues. It feels like too big of a step now .. but I do need to start thinking about it.

@Funkyart thank you so much for the encouragement! I do feel like IF has helped me beyond weight loss. Overall physical health and I do think mental wellness too, though I can't pinpoint it exactly. I also appreciated being able to fast most of the day yesterday to give my slightly upset stomach a break for a bit.

Over the last week I've received a handful of comments on my weight loss that have mostly been a boost. Though some others have left me feeling a little uncomfortable. For example, I had a few swimming friends who haven't seen me since I've been at a different pool for the summer. One sweet lady said I looked "trim" which was such a nice compliment. And another friend said I "looked good and looked strong" which was nice as well. But then I start feeling a little weird when they ask "how did you do it?" I don't know if I really understand why it makes me uncomfortable, but it does. And then today I just finished lap swimming and was moving in my garbage cans from the street. A neighbor I'd never met before said hello (and had the sweetest little poodle pup). He said "You've lost weight, haven't you?" and to be honest it made me feel weird that someone I've never even met before was noticing my weight. Apparently he works from home in an office that looks out front and sees me going running with my dog. He was very nice, but it left me feeling a little uncomfortable. I think some of it is the knowledg that I was overweight before and people must have noticed. I hope not, but I think that's what feels uncomfortable. Not sure if anyone else has similar feelings. It's such a strange thing to feel uncomfortable about someone making a presumably nice comment or compliment.

I have mentioned before that I don't really mind comments about my weight loss but I am sure that there are people or ways of bringing it up that would make me uncomfortable. I haven't been on video calls for most of the last year but I did have a few coworkers comment on my photo--and family members commented on how good I look (only some mentioning weight loss) at my mothers party. Unfortunately there are a few candid photos from the party where I think I look like Jebba the Hut! I know they were odd angles or not my best posture, whatever-- but it made me think that if they think I look good now-- how bad did i look before??

I do think I'd be taken off guard if someone I didn't know commented on my losses-- that would suggest they were tracking me, spying on me. That is creepy! I am sure it was very innocent, as you say his office looks out over your front yard-- but still, it feels creepy!

I have been struggling this week-- it's been much cooler which has been affecting my hips (I have had bursitis since I was very young) and it has been affecting my appetite! I want more food-- I want comfort food! Also, where IF previously felt easy and natural, it is now feeling very limiting. I want to eat in the morning-- and my evening meals have been pushing right up on the 7pm timeframe. I hope all of this is temporary-- just the natural shift as fall comes in.

I am going to start making soups again-- I love soup and I find soups are an easy way to keep calories low. I ordered some beans and hominy from Rancho Gordo last night -- am excited to make Posole and spicy bean soup.

The other thing I need to do is work on improving my sleep patterns. I had a good sleep routine for a long time but I have reverted back to old patterns.. most of this week I have gotten less than 5 hr sleep and I just don't function well with that little sleep.

As for weight loss, I have remained steady at 52 lb lost .. but I haven't lost anything additional in the last two weeks. I am going out to dinner tonight.. and out for brunch tomorrow. I will make the best choices I can and then buckle down the rest of the weekend.

Way to keep on track everybody.

In terms of people commenting, I appreciate it as I can't really see the loss except for the way my clothes now fit.

I have been bad with my eating habits this month as I have been under a bit of stress and doing more comfort food. I only missed a few days of exercises but I feel bad about it because I only do 20 minutes or 30 minute routines each day. I shouldn't feel that bad though because the workouts may be short but they work many muscle groups at once so much more effective overall. Still... I found I love workout vids that use bands. I do not have to do as many modifications for my arthritis's. When you get older and have issues (many of us do) modifications is the norm. Don't get discouraged over it, slot something else in that is not hazardous that works the same muscles. Next week is a new week so I plan on getting back to healthier eating.

Pricklypearcactus I am sorry you have been feeling ill. I hope you are better soon!

With regards to work I think you've got this. You're very conscientious and you care. I think those things go far.

With regards to the comments I like to tell myself when people make me uncomfortable and don't seem aware of it that they have the problem of being one of those poor souls who doesn't understand social cues and social etiquette. I don't have to take in what they say. But if I do it's a really good idea to share it with a group like this and to improve perspective.

So glad IF works for you! It works for me too! All the best.

You and me both, JT! Look forward not backward!

@Funkyart I'm sorry you're struggling this week. It's really hard work to stay continually focused on our efforts. It seems like you're doing remarkably well. I have always struggled with photos. Have always hated looking at myself in pictures, especially if they're random candid photos from unflattering angles. A few years ago my parents took an incredibly unflattering photo of me bending over on the beach from the side and decided that was the picture they would send out to family members with a Christmas card. I was so upset and humiliated. I'm still upset about it. These were family member who hadn't seen me in many years.

Thank you @yeonassky I am starting to feel better today. And thank you for the encouragement!

I really appreciate the perspectives on comments/compliments. I think you are all right that when someone makes me uncomfortable, they are likely ignoring social cues and ettiquette and I shouldn't take it personally. And I think @Funkyart you are spot on that it feels creepy like someone spying on me to hear a weight loss comment from someone who has never met me.

OMG @pricklypearcactus -- that christmas card! That's is not a flattering position or angle on ANYONE. WTH.

I do seem to always get caught in unflattering angles. Not sure how that happens lol.. maybe only have a limited number of flattering ones! LOL

I haven't posted much, nice to have some time to read about everyone's journey. I'm super busy with home things and now don't really have a lot of time to spend randomly online, since I'm also taking an online course . . . that about tops my sitting at a computer time quota.

I've been bouncing between 136 and 138, which was my target weight. I'd really like to bounce between 134 and 135, but so far haven't been able to make that happen. At this point I just don't want to add any more time devoted to weight management. I'm already having to work at drinking the right amount of water, taking my daily Metameucil cocktail and all my other drugs, getting my cardio in, cooking and shopping for healthy foods, and getting enough sleep. I think I'd have to do a lot more cardio to maintain a lower weight and right now it's not going to happen, I am too busy and also have some health challenges. My chronic sinus problems and foot neuropathy are causing me problems. I've had both checked out, they are "non-specific" just the weirdness of aging . . . the worst problem is trying to get a regular amount of sleep. I have many nights unable to fall asleep even though I am tired.

One resource I found and am loving is a magazine cookbook called "Eat To Beat Inflammation" put out by Better Homes and Gardens. I've been making something from it almost every day, helps take the "what healthy meals can I make?" issue off the table. One dish I made this week was grilled shrimp with spaghetti squash. I had never paired shrimp with squash before, it was delish. I just baked the squash and then seasoned with some Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb seasoning and some basil, and a little salt and olive oil. It still seemed bland so I added some Parmesan cheese. If I make it again, I will bake the squash, take it out of the skin and then sautee it a bit in a pan to evaporate out some more of the water. I don't see spaghetti squash in the grocery often or I would eat more of it.

Here's a link to the magazine. I feel like I got my 13 bucks worth. Lots of vegan recipes and ones without dairy, which for me is good. Emphasis on lots of fruits and vegetables. Probably not "low carb" but the carbs in the recipes are all the good ones, largely unprocessed with fiber, like oatmeal, whole wheat, farro, brown rice, squash, etc. Even some of the meat recipes I can adapt with fake meats or beans or tofu substituted.

https://www.amazon.com/SPECIAL-MAGAZINE-INFLAMMATION-Restorative-Recipes/dp/B094WYP8LM

Glad to hear things are going well for you @l pinkmountain i am sure you'll hit the lower range soon enough-- especially with a range of new recipes you enjoy!

I am gearing up for fall soups.. ordered some fresh spices to replace those that have been in my cupboard forever-- also some broths and tomato juice (i love a chicken broth/tomato juice blend). I may get to a pot of soup this weekend but may not. I have picked up a terrible cold and have work and house projects to get through. Either way, i have healthy food options for the coming week.

Did well at dinner last night-- I was out with my niece and great nephew. He is 7 yo and sometimes picky. He stuck his nose up at most of the dinner options I threw out until I suggested "Breakfast for dinner" LOL. We joined the senior crowd at a local diner and had a fun time. Eggs and veggies are always a favorite for me so I was able to easily stay in calorie range.

Today's brunch was pushed until tomorrow-- again, I should be able to find something healthy enough -- and of course, I'll have fun and great company.

Today's focus is increasing my water-- I have not been doing as well with water these last few weeks and since I have a cold, I really need the fluids.

I have written this post out many times but chickened out of posting it. I have spent the last 12 weeks trying to refeed my anorexic teen 3000 plus calories per day. In January she and her friends, unbeknownst to me, started a “clean” diet and extreme exercise regiment. Within three months she droped from 110 to 94 pounds. Her heart rate was 41 beats per minute and her body temp was 93 degrees. She is diagnosed as having a unofficial form of anorexia called orthorexia and even when I bought her to her pediatrician in Febuary with my concerns I was told her then 55 bpm heart rate and 100lb frame was because she is a healthy athlete.

I was setting a very unhealthy example for her after my stroke by only eating low fat and low carb foods between 8 am and 7 pm and never missing my daily exercise. I had anorexia until my thirties and even after weight restoration never accepted my body and still suffer from dysmorphia. I so wish I had embraced my body and taught her self love and body confidence and taught by example that diets and restrictions not only do not work( chronic dieting results in slower metabolism) they can often be deadly. 20 percent of anorexics die, half from physical ailments and the other half from suicide. Being heavier is far less dangerous both immediately and long term than being anorexic.

To learn more about how restriction diets of even 1500 calories per day can effect your physical and mental well being please research the Minnesota Starvation Study.

I now model good behavior and eat every meal I force my daughter to eat. With the help of a dietitian we eat three 800 calorie meals and three 300 calorie snacks per day. I focus on density vs volume so she does not get further triggered by the amounts so I hide olive oil, cream and butter in everything. She is within 95 percent weight restoration but still exhibits eating disordered behaviors and is on a high suicide watch. Starvation causes suicidal ideation and even though she is no longer starving her mind will take up to a year to heal.

Although I have begun to eat six times per day and almost twice as much as I was before I actually have not gained at all and for the first time I remember my body is actually recognizing hunger and satiated clues. I no longer binge because i am honoring my bodies hunger rather than denying it. Our bodies have a set point weight I believe and when we manipulate that number we cause great harm.

Our pro ”healthy” diet culture is so f’ed up we do not even realize how it is actually creating a self sustaining unhealthy life style which sets us up to not only fail but possibly can kill us. Please think twice about losing more than 5 pounds per month!

link to an article on the starvation experiment.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/10/hunger

Over 20 percent of dieters become obsessive. Most eating disorders start from dieting not preexisting mental illnesses https://sph.umich.edu/pursuit/2020posts/the-problem-with-dieting-eating-disorders-affecting-american-college-students.html#:~:text=The%20National%20Eating%20Disorders%20Association,diets%20turn%20into%20eating%20disorders.

Falsehoods perpetuated by our anti obesity campaign https://students4sc.org/2020/06/02/anti-obesity-campaigns-do-more-harm-than-good/

Thank you for posting, Roarah .. and for sharing your experiences. I admire your strength and honesty. I am sorry that it is now an experience you share with your daughter but very glad you had the knowledge to recognize the signs of disordered eating. So often eating disorders remain hidden until they become so very serious.

I am glad to hear that both you and your daughter are traveling the road to healthier eating behaviors together... and it sounds like you've both made big improvements. Recognizing hunger and satiation is so valuable for all of us-- and no matter our size or health levels I think many of us do not have that recognition. I hope you both continue to improve and heal. Sending you strength, love and healing 💕

While I often wish to lose as much as 8-10lb a month, I am not willing to go to extremes to hit the mark. I have intermittently lost as much as 8lb a month but that is almost always due to extreme stress (like the death of my father). I average between 4-5lb/month and lately less. I do try to maintain fairly low calories but I am also not living a very active lifestyle right now and my body feels good with this level of calories. I think the area I most need to work on is loving my body whatever my weight, wherever I am in the journey to a healthier lifestyle. I don't so much recognize my self bashing as much as I recognize when I am harshly judging others-- strangers, friends and family. I need to catch myself as I can project my own dissatisfaction and self-loathing onto others.

It's a journey-- whether we need to adjust our thinking and behaviors to lose weight or gain weight. A healthy self image and relationship with our bodies is key. I am working on this-- I suspect many of us are working on this whether we put it to words or keep it inside.

Thank you @roarah for your corageous post. I am so sorry about your daughter and what you are both going through. Yet, I am hopeful that you have been able to get help and are on a path towards health for her. I hope our posts here have not caused you agony. I do 100% agree that our society has created a culture that makes it easy to fall into disordered eating and/or unhealthy obsession over weight, fitness, diet, exercise, etc. I hope I am not perpetuating that in any way. For me this year has been a journey of trying to heal my digestive system and return to a level of fitness and weight that allows me to do the things I enjoy (swimming, running, hiking, etc) and hopefully reduce my blood sugar and cholesterol to reduce risk of developing health issues down the road. Yet I also realize our culture has stigmatized weight in a way that is not correct in defining what is "healthy".

@Funkyart thinking about what you said about judging ourselves harshly and bashing ourselves. Somewhere I read someone suggest that when we talk to ourselves that way we should ask "Would you ever say that to your best friend if she were in your situation?" We should treat ourselves at least as well as we would treat our friends, even when we talk to ourselves. We are all good, valid, valuable people at any weight and size. Whether I lose 5lbs or gain 10lbs, I am still just as valuable of a person.

I am grateful for the support we show one another here. I have been absent because I have had a hard time working out and eating properly, by my needs. And getting into better shape is a profound need of mine.

To those who have made healthy new habits, thank you for the inspiration.

I am back. I have worked out very moderately every day this week. I have a refrigerator full of veggies to prep so that should I decide to snack in between meals, it will be almost as easy to choose carrots as Chloebud's shortbread.

No calorie counting for me, as discussed before because that sets me down a bad path. Just a focus on lean protein and veggies with as little starch as I can manage, but not no starch either, because just the thought of that makes me lose my mind a little.

Exercise will be super easy walking, squats, planks and bicep/tricep weight stuff.

I will start the thread for the new week a little later this morning-- but I wanted to respond to some of the later posts first.

@pricklypearcactus of course I do not talk to my friends the way I sometimes talk to myself. Why give grace to others but not ourselves? It is a process. I am doing better but I have a long way to go.

@Zalco/bring back Sophie! so glad you have rejoined us. There was no reason for you to feel you couldnt participate but I get that it is more fun and valuable when you are feeling good about your choices and lifestyle. I have posted less lately and I try to tell myself it is because I am busier-- but I need to face up to the truth that it was because I was slipping and not doing as well. I knew what I was doing but wasn't facing it head on-- that stops today.

Smart move to stock the fridge with veggies! Every single time I slip it is because I have not shopped, planned or prepped. I also do not stop carbs/starches. I know that seems odd to many as it is the most common diet for those trying to lose weight. I find I need water soluble fiber in my diet -- my digestive system gets verrrrry sluggish without it. But also, this is a way of living for me. I can't imagine never having a slice of bread or oatmeal or pasta ever again. I am mindful of the proportion on the plate and choose healthier grains. I am comfortable with that-- it's a way of eating I can live with.

Looking forward to your posts and progress, Zalco! Since I am restarting in a way, we can do this jumpstart together!

@lucille - it is so impressive that you were able to make changes to reduce your medications. That is a huge accomplishment and i think highlights the way food affects our health. How wonderful that you have a new exercise companion. You have such great momentum and now an extra boost to your motivation! I look forward to hearing about your progress too.

@roarah, I want to thank you again for your post. I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about it-- surely thinking about your and your DD but also reflecting on my own history with eating and my current behaviors and my motivations. I can look back to my youth and teen years and see where I started some very bad behaviors (not worth going into now) and then fast forward to the current. My thinking is still effed up-- sure, I am working towards a healthier lifestyle. I want to have more energy, I want to be physically stronger and more flexible, I want all my organs to be less strained -- but how am I measuring my successes? By my appearance! If I look in the mirror and I don't SEE weight loss, then I dismiss all my progress in healthier living. In my mind, it only counts if it improves my appearance... and let me be honest, you don't become 100lb overweight without some body dysmorphia and denial at play so should I even trust what I see in the mirror. I really need to work on this. Much as my motivations are honest, my measures of success are skewed.

I don't mean to overshadow you or your daughter's experiences, struggles and strides towards a healthier body. I continue to send you love and strength and wishes for the future. I just want to thank you for increasing our awareness.. MY awareness because I think we can all fall prey to the messed up messaging and messed up relationships with our bodies and eating.

Well said, heartfelt and a good description of how weight problems at booth ends of the spectrum are rooted in many of the same causes, Funky. iI my own case it is not appearance that drives me but BMI. I don’t know why I am so fixated on the number even though I understand each category is a range.