I had my computer in the shop for another reason and asked the tech if he would install that update for me. He said, "Yes, no problem." I went to pick up my computer and asked him if he had installed it and he said yes. I asked him "how" he had done it and he said he just downloaded it and installed it. I told him "I" had done that but it would just come back. He said, "It didn't come back." I said, "Are you sure."....."Yes", says he. So..I ask him if he will check it out for sure before I cart the thing home. He gives a loud *sigh* and says he will show me, but that he installed it. So...he hooks it up...turns it on...goes to updates and says, "It's back...." I told him that that is what I was telling him in the first place. I told him I had an e-mail from a Microsoft tech about it but I only got so far and couldn't figure out all he was saying to do. He said, "If I had those instructions, I would do it for you." I told him he "did" have the instructions, all we had to do was open my e-mail folder. So...he does that and opens Jo jo's (tech from God knows where) instructions and starts in...finally he gives it up and says he'll show me how to hide the thing and not to worry about it........so that is sort of the end of the story...it is hidden and I never succeeded in getting it installed, and I'm not going to read any more instructions about it :o) Another tech with the last name of Wang, who said he was Jo jo's supervisor gave me more instructions...but, hey...if it's that hard the heck with it...I'll die and go to my grave without having ever gotten the thing installed...I've come to grips with that knowledge and have accepted it :o) Thank you all for your help and concern....

snookums, I've been following your thread with some interest. My dh is a senior exec, was in the telecomm area, has been laid off numerous times due to the nature of the business, and we live in an expensive area. I'm sorry your situation is causing you such great anxiety. I do understand your almost "desparate" feelings. You do, however, have a lot of choices - even though you might not see them. I might suggest that you and your husband see someone, a neutral third party, to help you sort out your situation and the decisions your need to make. A good fee for service financial planner/advisor? A career counselor? A couples psychologist? I'm not sure, really. I do know this -- it's hard to get a senior level job, these are not 9-5 jobs, they take months to find and often months to make a decision. Good thing is, you husband has a job now. Granted, he may need a different job, but it will do no good hoping for a substantial raise in his current situation, it's just not there. Meantime, what do you do to alleviate some financial stress? Got to get to work, girl!!!! Take some deep breaths and stop wringing your hands!!! That will get you nowhere. I agree with some of the above posters, no shame in working...I know you want to be a SAHM, but that dream may need to be put aside for now if you want your family to remain at your current level of need in terms of cash flow (not to mention savings). I am a mom, I stayed at home for 5 years, my dh has a vp level position and if we lived in a low cost area, I could do what I wanted -- I know where you are at!! I've been able to find an excellent part time job that accomadates my family. Fact of the matter is, your pet sitting business could bring in lots of income for you if you went about promoting your business and working daily...one of my neighbors does this (in my area of million dollar homes) and is so successful, her dh wants to quit his job to help her run her business...so could tutoring, aren't you a teacher? You could charge $60-75 an hour to teach reading, or whatever it is that you do. Start thinking positively, about what you do have -- including about $650K worth of equity in your house...you have talents and skills as well. Take advantage of what you do have!! No amount of wishing will get your husband a job that pays the tens of thousands a year more that it appears you need to stay in your current situation. Eventually, he will probably land that dream job, but it's not there now. You will get an ulcer and become depressed worrying about it. Now, I don't know you, and I feel funny telling you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, but honestly, I've wanted to write this for a while now and am just doing it today. I certainly don't mean to be rude, it's just that I've been in your situation in a way. You and your dh need to make decisions and choices to elevate your family out of where you are. Good luck! Stay upbeat and determined. Anything is possible...jump in feet first and work like mad to make it all work! The thing about it is, if you don't like what you are doing, you have the power to change it. You really do.

Thanks for your good wishes everyone. After three interviews & two months of waiting, at least I know now. In that way it's a relief - I don't feel like I'm partly on hold anymore. I was continuing to look & apply for other things, but I was holding out hope that this one would come through. I am very disappointed. This seemed like a perfect fit for me - they had really great benefits - insurance, retirement, a good amt. of paid time off, the works. Plus finally a salary that made me feel that I would be getting paid for my knowledge instead of being taken advantage of. A couple of other people have told me that it sounded like someone knew someone else & got the job that way. It's nice to think that the most qualified person gets the job regardless of who the less qualified person knows. It's been a frustrating job search so far. I see so many ads for a combination office mgr/accountant with 5-7 years experience in all facets of accounting, management experience, etc, etc. The pay is $10-$12 DOE.

Oh thanks you guys, you are soooo nice to come and comment. Holligator! I can't believe I forgot you- you were instrumental in the original plans, for sure :) The island has a cherry top and we LOVE it. The mudroom is so fabulous- every day I think to myself, or even say out loud, "I love my mudroom!" Especially now since I have been spreading compost and cow manure all over the yard and I actually have a place to come in and sit down and take my muddy boots off :) But the mudroom and pantry are not ready for pics yet. They need doors, trim, and pantry counter/sink installed. The *&^%$ bathroom mold debacle really derailed us :( The mold is gone, now, our insurance paid for professionals to come and abate it. They also gave us rebuild money, so we designed decided to take the opportunity to renovate the master bath area. Gorgeous walk-in shower with frameless doors, soaking tub, custom mahogany vanity, mmmmmmm..... We even hired Bill Vincent to do the tile work! But there was a problem with the marble shower floor, the tile discolored right away, so he's having to rebuild it. It has been a real struggle. We've been without that bathroom since last April/May. I got to take about 8 showers in it before we had to stop due to the tile problem. So we're all sharing the tiny bath that was our "kitchen" during the kitchen reno. So not fun. danielle- We havea pretty standard 25.75" countertop from wall to front edge. I did insist that the sink be mounted as far forward as possible... they had to notch the sink base cabinet's top support stringer to accomodate that. I promise I will come back and post more pics as we get more finished!