When I back my tractor out of my shed I have to prop the door open so it won't close while I'm pulling out. usually I get off the tractor and close it after that, but today I left it open, and ten minutes into cutting my grass I caught the aluminum edge with my tire. I didn't slash the tire immediately, and if I'd just stopped what I was doing and eased my way out of the situation I probably would have saved the tire, but instead I did the knee-jerk reaction and immediately hit the reverse pedal. In less than a second my tires went from 20psi to zero, leaving an inch-wide slash right in the sidewall. I never liked those tires anyway, but it's a shame I ruined a tire that still had the nubs on the tread. The tractor's a John Deere GT series, with 23x10.5x12 Titan Turf Master, I think. They weren't exactly great tires when it comes to traction. My yard is nearly flat, but I have a drainage ditch along the street which is graded and sodded, but about a 30 degree slope (enough that I have to hang onto the uphill fender to stay in my seat). It gets a little hairy mowing that and I've lost traction a few times trying to turn out of it or cross it perpendicularly. I've been thinking about getting some more aggressive tires, like the ones on the X700 series. Or possbly some ATV tires. Is there any real difference in the construction between ATV tires and tractor tires? I mean it's not a different bead profile on the rim or anything, right? I like the Maxxis Bighorns. I also like the All-Tracs, although they're only a 2pr and 16lbs, vice 6pr, 21 lbs of rubber for the Bighorns. I'm also looking at the Carlisle AT-489, which are $88 for 23x10x12 at jack's small engines. I need to get something soon. I don't want to have to push my lawn, but if I don't figure something out soon, I'll be walking around with green shoes. -Chris

Goodness you all! I think the last two comments summarize the groupÂs split opinion on this LR DR space. Half of you think the space is headed in the right direction, but that the furniture needs rearranging and editing to give it more coherence. You would place the two dominant red print chairs closer together, add red to the couch, and cull some of the mismatched stuff (the rocker, black chair, tapestry. . .) The other half of you are less bothered by the mismatching and think the room just needs something to tie it all together, such as a DR rug, serving table in the DR, or window treatments. I am somewhere in between the two groups. To my mind, because the room has so few colors, mostly just yellow, goldish tan, crème, red and black, the mismatching generally is o.k.(and is what we can afford!) I do think, however, that some changes are needed to bring more coherence. This is what I am thinking now. (1) Leave the chairs apart, like spurned lovers. Reuniting them just feels like too much red pattern in a not-large room. (2) Get the black wood chair out of the LR (maybe putting it back by the fireplace instead of the yellow DR chair.) (3) Stain or replace the octagonal table in the LR to make it blend in better. (4) Add a small black serving cart (on wheels) for the DR under the light switches to better demarcate this DR and for functionality. (5) Change the lampshades in the DR chandy to mimic those in the LR. (6) Reconsider, maybe, my general antidrapery bias. In terms of cooper and sheshareeÂs questions. . . .the ottoman is a pretty old one from LEE. I got it used. I am very happy with its style, comfortable, and its maneuverability. The chair is 16 years old, made by Century and was called it Gatsby style. I donÂt see it on their website now. The chair has a tight seat and back and pretty exposed legs. Because its cushions are tight, it takes a slipcover well. Any more comments/suggestions?

Jujube, you are absolutely right, you are entitled to your feelings. Criticizing you for them and telling you to feel different is no help at all. If you don't like being a parent to someone else's child, then you don't, and you are entitled to feel that way. It's certainly not for everyone. BUT. The child is also entitled to something. And that is to live with adults who will care for and protect him, and, if they can't quite love him, at least try to like the child the best they can, not see him as nothing more than a "burden." You wrote, "Choices were made either by ourselves or others that put us in this situation and I am aware that no one is completely blameless." If it's true of anyone that "choices were made" (and do note the passive voice) by others that affect them, it's certainly true of the children. They didn't choose to be born, they didn't choose for their parents to split up, they didn't choose for their parents to remarry. The adults in the story are the ones who have to make the adjustments and compromises, not just because they made the choices, but because they are the adults. Fair or not, that's it; children can't be expected to sacrifice their childhoods for a parent's or an unrelated adult's expectations of romance and marriage. And your husband is entitled to something, too. You may not have a mother's duty toward your son, but you have a wife's duty to your husband. His duty to his son is non-negotiable. How do you support him in fulfilling that duty and feeling good about it? I know it isn't easy. But look at it from his point of view. What is it like for him to feel like he is always trading off his wife's and his son's interests in a zero-sum game? You write that you love this "wonderfully amazing man." Try to let that love guide you in this situation and think of what he needs from you; don't make him choose between his son and his wife. Thus, the solution to the dilemma is NOT for the child to go away or be rejected or pushed away by his father. If you don't want to be involved with a man with children, then don't be; there is nothing wrong with that choice even though others choose differently. I won't blame you, the same as while I admire people who adopt children with serious handicaps, I don't blame those who decline to do so. But anyone who makes those difficult choices and accepts those challenges has to step up to the plate and do her best, not focus only or even primarily on her "entitlements." Good luck to you; I know it's really hard.

I agree. I been looking hard for place closer to work then available at this time. As soon as I can get out of here the better. I can very easily head back to Washington State but I took on a good job here as a Strictures Technician on Boeing Aircraft for an MRO (Maintenance Repair & Overhaul) and will be making good money in the next year. Hopefully I can find a place soon enough. Shame of it is this kid has spent on many occasions time with his dad and things around here could not be better between us. We go places, laugh all the time and are pretty lined up with each other. Its what I signed on for until the evolution of her son started going down hill however, he has always been a bit of a manageable problem at times but now he stresses her out so bad shes off the rails at times. Anyway I agree with your advice which is the same advice given to me by my sisters and close friends but most importantly myself. Most recently he threatened to call the Sheriff telling them I threated to shoot him but they know of him because we have had the Sherriff here many times and we were told to file an unruly child report with the county clerk. We went there and they told us they needed to see her divorce papers and also the father would have to be on board. Well John didnt want to do it so that was that. If we were able and he acted out tge Sherriff would take the necessary actions if I had to call. The real problem I have right now and is a major part of why I need to get out of dodge asap is because of my other half and my different shifts, shes on 1st shift and Im on 2nd it leaves me home alone with the kid most if the day and he starts in, last week he got violent once again and got right in my face wanting to fight with nobody here, so I told him Im not getting into it with nobody here so Ill call the Sheriff. Well thats when he started yelling "good ill call and tell them how you just threatened to shoot me etc. Meanwhile that was his exact threat to me when he got in my face saying him and his friends will shoot me. I can wipe the streets with this kid, hes a spoiled brat who lies, steels, drugs etc and I don't want to be here alone because if some false report gets written i can and will lose my job and maybe even freedom. That day he called his mom lying as always and crying to her and she believes him. While this was going on I had his dad in the phone so he heard everything and knows how bad this kid is and so does she, then she posts on facebook " nobody threatens my kids etc" Right then I saisaid its time to move out of here fast. When ththis was happening it all stemmed from the night before when he was on drugs yelling at her and he never went toto sleep tge whole night. Anyway she wasn't answering my call when this was going on only to find out becausebecause he was on the phone with her crying about me. Then she posts thathat on facebook. So it proved that if shes not here Im getting the blame and if he did call the Sheriff she would side with him. Time to go. Two weeks ago he broke into my closet and took my riffle and started firing it off the back deck into the woods where there are houses on the other side. My nieghbor told me about that, he asked me if he was allowed and I said he is forbidden to even touch those riffles. He said yeah we didnt even know where the shots were coming from and even the road workers were ducking for cover. This a 13 year old kid whose mom grants him adult privileges, big mistake and if I get on him she takes his side. I told her about the riffle incident about a week later because I dont tell her anymore because it always gets turned around on me so I just removed all the riffles from the home. Turns she knew about it and never said anything to me. I told her you do relize if he struck anybody on the other side of those woods or anywhere, you go to prison for murder and possibly even John. In not legally responsible for this kid. Anyway this is getting to long winded, its so much longer of a story and all I can say is I dont even like coming home from work and once it gets that bad its time to leave. With all I have explained, its obvious its just not safe for me to be here any longer. God knows I put up with alot but God cant physically bear witness for me so its time to move on. Like you said she is not on my side and in the long run its only going to hurt the kid and maybe even her as time goes on and he contunes to get worse. Hes even pulled stolen credit cards fraud when he was 11 and 12 till we found out. But, never really got in any trouble. His parents are smart people to. Moms a nurse snd dads an engineer so we are not talking about uneducated people. I suggested bording or military school. I been pushing this kid to go into the Coast Guard. Two weeks ago I got special clearance at work and brought him up into the cockpits of the Boeing 767s I work on and a tour threw all the hangers and other airplanes in attempt to try and plant some seeds. Last month I aranged for him to come to NY to my Moms funeral where I have to admit he was on great behavior alone and miles away from Ohio. We stayed with very close friends of mine and he had a great time outside of my moms funeral proceedings. It was night and day. But I also had a man to man talk with him about it and he saisaid dont worry I know how to act, I laughed with him and said thats what Im worried about. Anyway once there I tried like always to show him some responsibility and arranged for him to be next to me and carry my moms coffin. He did wonderfull in NY with me and my family, I had mamany of them write to me telling me how nice he is and handsome etc. Why that all kinda changes at home is beyound me. I think he knows Mom is not around and Joe has support from his family if I get out of hand. His biggest problem is his mom doesnt engage in team work with me to reprimand him when hes out of line, instead she looks for every which way to turn t around and blame me mainly because im here or his teachers before he was kicked out of school or his dad. This is the key factor of why this kid is the way he is.