Very tired of this....
ladypat1
last year
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Stained vs. Painted Cabinets: I'm tired of thinking about this!
Comments (24)Since it is a new build, I would encourage you to solve your lighting problems with a good lighting design and not by lighter or darker finishes. It's amazing how many people feel that they can't have what they want in a complete kitchen renovation because of natural lighting conditions when they could just add more lighting and it's not a problem anymore. That said, stained finishes are definitely more durable and hold up better as well as being easier to touch up. i wonder if your take on the the painted finish is because it is sprayed rather than brushed. A sprayed finish with topcoat will not look or feel like a hand brushed finish and will definitely feel more "factory" and "perfect" and less "natural" especially to someone who is accustomed to a brushed finish (I don't mean a hacked brushed finish either, but a nice one done by someone who knows what they are doing). It is definitely a different look/feel but also a lot more expensive to do a nice brushed finish....See MoreWarning Very intimate. You may want to pass on this.
Comments (49)What great, thoughtful responses to this very sensitive topic! I can relate to the loss of libido--frankly, we're about a decade younger than the OP and her husband but at 56 YO, I too have come through menopause with a decided lack of interest in sexual activity. There isn't anything physically 'wrong' with me, and my husband is as he always has been a very considerate and giving partner. But truthfully, I don't really care any more about sex and the thought of never having it again wouldn't bother me one bit. However. My husband is still interested, to say the least :). In fact he is more ardent than ever now that birth control isn't an issue, and now that our lives are a bit less stressed and child centered. Then too I do believe that most men experience sexual desire as much more of a physical *need* for release than most women do. In our marriage, both of us are very strong, independent people and as I've often said, the ties that bind us are loose--and unbreakable. We have our own jobs, hobbies and friends in addition to the family life we have built together. Our sexual partnership is for only us. Nobody else can be part of it, nobody else can or will know that part of our marriage. So at this season of my life, our sex life is what helps cement our bond, while it keeps our connection strong. And now to I'm sure no one's surprise I must address the problem the OP wanted to discuss; having a partner tell you that unless you do X, Y or Z sexually you won't be getting something you want badly. This quote says so much: "But, I'm sorry your husband has resorted to extortion to get what he wants. If you simply capitulate that clearly marks you as subordinate." Once again, living in a relationship in which a woman does not have her own resources means the risk of becoming subordinate is huge. I cannot imagine being dependent on anyone to the level of him even being able to think what the husband expressed. Regardless of where the thought is coming from, I agree it is extortion and it is despicable. How very sad too, living in a marriage in which a husband has the power and financial authority to do this. I would never, never, never live like that. I"m sure there are many levels of complexity that can't be shared in an online forum. The the OP, I truly hope you can find your way to a compromise that leaves each of you feeling respected and loved, even if it isn't in the house you want or doing the sex acts he does. Ann...See MoreIn home stretch... very tired .... last decision... help!
Comments (6)Not to give you even more choices- I concur with what Rhome410 says, are you planning on adding/updating trim to the rest of the house eventually? We literally (OK, DH is- I shovelled the walks and the rhodos) are putting the trim up now. I found the best selection at a door and moulding place. And, I also found that once you pick a style, chances are other places do NOT carry exactly the same one- unbelievable how much they can vary. we decided to do a lintel over the doors and windows, and have the side trim meet it as a straight edge rather than mitered. That's your first decision- look at pics or at the store and think about that before you decide on an exact trim style. However, that requires cutting the lintel edges on a mitered angle for the return. (We did that too on our window sills). We started with the lintel piece, then found side trim to match that- then found window trim to coordinate with door trim- then baseboard. We still haven't picked our crown molding for the house- but it'll have to tie in with what we have. Since you're starting with simple, you can pick almost any style, (Obviously not too big or ornate), and if you keep it consistent throughout your house, it'll look great!...See MoreVery Very Confused...this is long
Comments (19)Well, I talked to her last night...she knew something was wrong and asked me to tell her...I didn't feel comfortable because i'm not sure how to make sense of all this but i did anyways...I blew her mind...she didn't expect me to say these things...I told her it wasn't only about you that I left this about everything in my life...she is not doing well, and I expected that. She says she loves me and doesn't want to loose me. I don't hate her...I still love her...but these things in my head...questioning my choices in life, am i happy, do i want to stay with her...I even had a feeling of wanting to pack up and leave my life and go across the world to "start over" and get away from everything...there's so much doubt in my mind...as for the aussie girl...about 2 weeks ago she made it clear that there is nothing that can happen between us...we're on different pages...and I agree...so now we're just friends...which i'm fine with...I thought that this was the reason I felt these things but they haven't gone away and now my thoughts don't even include aussie girl..I booked some time with my doctor in a few hours, I need to talk to her...my wife agrees I need to figure this out and that I need to decide what my feelings are so she can move on...which is what I want to do...also she has no problems with waiting (not forever) on kids..no point in dragging this on...I really need to sort this out for her and myself... i'll keep you all posted.....TYVM for the advise and points of view..you've all given me a lot of think about......See Moreladypat1
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