Can you take one or two clear digital photos and post it? With an oil based finish or sealer (and not stained), red oak is generally amber to orange-reddish in tone, whereas white oak is more tan to golden brown. With a water based finish, both species will be much lighter or whitish, but the basic color tones will still be there. Red oak generally has a thicker or wider earlywood cell layer (the rings you see), whereas the white oak earlywood layer is usually very narrow in width. This is most easily visible on the end of a board or with rift and quartered. When looking down on flatsawn flooring, both species rings can appear wide. White oak has rays (the cells that are perpendicular to the rings) that are longer (1-2 inches) and are very noticeable as wide ray fleck in 90 degree quartered material. Red oak rays are short (1/2" - 1" long), but can be easily seen due to the lighter colored wheat or amber red oak wood and the generally wider annual growth rings. This flooring company has some good pictures of both red and white oak with an oil based finsih: Here is a link that might be useful: Launstein oak pictures

Let me tell you that if I saw pictures of my DH in bed with another woman, even fully clothed, he'd have lots of explaining to do. But, after finding these pics and seeing as how she was hiding her phone and finding out why....I'd just wait it out and see what her future and current behavior is. If she has plans, meetings or outings that are out of norm for her, I'd check those out. If her appearance changes as far as weight, hairdo, clothing...I'd look into the reasons why. If she went looking elsewhere because you're stubborn and a non- talker, then change your style because it ain't working for you. If you want things to work, then you both need to meet in the middle. She may have slept with this man. but if she did and you love her and don't want to lose her then just deal with it. It may have been just a fling to prove that someone else found her attractive because you didn't make her feel that way. if she's got what she wants at home, she won't go looking elsewhere. Hope it works out for you.

We have a few addicts in our family. You probably know these things, but in case you don't... The first things drugs do is destroy a person's conscience. Right and wrong mean nothing to an addict--they only care about finding the money for their next fix. Addicts lie. MOST of the time. NO ONE can 'fix' an addict or their relationship with one. As long as you're trying to help him (paying for life's essentials, letting him get away with abusing you, etc), YOU are keeping him an addict. Most addicts really don't change. The few who do usually do so only after they've totally hit rock bottom. Helping him as you are, is keeping him from deciding to get the real help he needs. Look, as the others have said, YOU cannot fix this problem. All you really can do is save yourself. Get out. Take some time to heal, and find a real man, who truly loves you, and won't abuse you physically, verbally and financially. And just in case those words don't help you make up your mind--are you prepared to go to jail for this man? If the police find drugs in the car while YOU'RE driving it, YOU could be charged with the crime. And do you really believe this guy would step up and claim ownership of them to get you out of trouble? I doubt it. Whatever else you decide to do, please start squirrelling money away for the legal fees you no doubt will be paying sometime in the future, because one or the other of you will probably need to be bailed out and defended at some point

Thanks, palimpsest. These were custom built. I know we told the cabinet maker we wanted 36" high counters and that one would be laminate and the other would be tile but obviously he didn't adjust sizes to accommodate the two different counter materials. Not surprising, really. We weren't all that impressed with him or the cabs. They're sturdy enough but not as nice as what we saw in the model home (the builder switched subs after we signed). Can anyone else help me figure out if I'm measuring these correctly? If I need to make an adjustment to avoid counters 36 1/2" or higher, I want to know before the granite guys show up. TIA!