$20

I agree with Judy - $20

Thanks. It will cost me $20 in gas to get there as well.

$20

I can't see giving cash to a 2 year old, they'd have no understanding of what it is and would get no joy from seeing or opening it. Ask their parent for a gift choice in the $15 range or pick one out yourself - it's not a big deal to do, you can find 15 minutes in your life for the task. Ask for a suggestion in the store.

I agree with Elmer to a point. I have given $10-15 gift cards from Dairy Queen or McDonalds (if you know the parents treat their kids on occasion) for an ice cream or milk shake

I too would give $20. Even if it goes to the child indirectly..

I'd go to Walmart and buy a $10 book. I'm not a bank for your kid.

And believe I'm not cheap but I will not be used by family.

Sam, I agree with Blfenton. I would go to a place like Marshall’s or TJ Max. You can find a cute toy, book or T- shirt for under $20.00.

Only you know your finances.

A two year old would be happy with a gift. Paper money and paper greeting cards means nothing to them. Maybe you have time to get Amazon to deliver something appropriate for you. You can run a search on their website for "Birthday gift for two year old" and they give you great options. Or you could take their idea and buy the item at a Walmart...and buy the card at the same time.

In this particular case, $20 in a card is perfectly fine. Other folks are invited to the party, presumably a couple of them will bring physical gifts for the toddler to unwrap and play with. A two-year-old doesn't need a ton of new stuff to be happy. Too much at one time can be overwhelming.

Go to the party, give the card to the parent(s), and be part of the happiness.

Thank you for the suggestions. Don't hate me for this but while a 2 year old doesn't know the concept of money do they even know or will remember its their bday? I don't remember my 2nd bday.

Find a book; go to your local book store and pick up something that isn't at the top of the popularity list, so they would be unlikely to have it. At two, they love interactive board books - things they can touch, pull, move, flaps that lift, etc. (I'd forgo electronic books). If no local store, look online.

Picture books.

A two-year old will remember the emotions of the celebration longer than they will remember what they got that day, let alone who gave it to them.

"while a 2 year old doesn't know the concept of money do they even know or will remember its their bday?"

My experience is - an emphatic Yes. A recent experience, one of my grandchildren had their 2nd birthday recently. There was no need to understand the concept, they were told that every person has their own important day each year (every once in awhile is enough for the explanation) when their age changes, they have a party, and friends and family come to celebrate, make them feel special and often bring gifts. This kid two weeks later could recite who was at the party and what gift they gave. Or, could go the other way, here's this gift, I got it from X.

So, yes. They can know and understand.

PS - a book is a good idea. The brighter the colors and funner the story, the better.

A book is always a go-to gift, no matter the age of the recipient. For children, I try to buy my own children's favorites that have become forgotten. Chances are good that the child doesn't own it.

If you can find Rufus Butler Seder’s book Gallop. It is interactive. I bought it years ago.

Looks like he has others.

The pictures move as you turn the pages. They impress the adults!

I would not give cash. Unless you know the parents well enough to trust that they will spend it on the child and only on the child. In my experience, most parents of kids that young will just pocket the money and use it on themselves. The kid wont know the difference and cant snitch an them at that age. I agree to get a few colorful and fun books.

Saw a book of bedtime stories on Amazon I think I'll get that.

$20 towards their college fund sounds great. That 2 year old will have enough gifts they can hold. Your gift is lasting.

Do yourself a favour and have something else that day that conflicts so you can not attend. Send $25.00 check. I have 3 children and it never ever would have dawned on me to not put gift money into their own savings accounts. A book is great. Or walk into a store, flag down a sales associate, explain your budget and buy a sweater or shirt or PJs or bathing suit......

I have a cousin who only contacts me for gift giving occasions--and that family is 1/2 way across the US!

I go with the book idea. It's very easy to get a book or two for that age group. The parents might just pocket the money.

Many people go with books which is great, but kids get a lot of those since so many people use them as a default gift. But you can't go wrong with wooden puzzles, play dough sets, finger paints, counting objects sets, bath toys, play food, fat crayons and a pad of paper, summer can mean a cute outdoor sprinkler to run through, beach or sandbox toys, bubble toys etc. All can be found for 20.00 or under.

I want to circle back to the gift of an outing. Gift card of some sort. Is there a Children's museum in your area? A water park??? Even a chain restaurant's gift card a two yr old will recognize.....Money would be fine, in fast when my third was small I wished for cash for her bank account only because the last thing needed was STUFF! With older siblings we already had anything a two year old needed or wanted. As for the worry of how mom will spend it--not yours to worry about. Your worry is YOU and a gift you feel joy giving. What happens after the gift is open is THEIRS.

ask the parents if they opened a 529 college savings plan. you can contribute directly into the account. i do it for my great-nieces and nephews for birthdays and Christmas.

$20-$25 would be my dollar amount.

Dr Suess book is always a winner...

In my family and circle of friends, if a small child is given money the parents either buy something for the child or put the money in the child's bank account.

Of course, Rose!

Books are easy gifts.

Frankly, it sounds like you resent the invitation and really don't want to go. So .... don't go! You can .send a card and/or gift or not.

A book or a small toy. And if you don't like the parents, a toy that makes noise.

Sandra Boynton books, the Pigeon books, all so much fun.

IF you think your invitation is only a form of gift harvesting, don't go. You can decline an invitation without offering an excuse. Simply..... unable to attend.

I'm thinking that the family is using this party as a way to gather family, in a way that they maybe haven't been able to. Pandemic aside, it's hard to plan things with a baby around, and they are finally on in a place where they can rely on timing and dynamics.

So go, have fun with all the relatives, find a cute book or tuck a $10 or $20 in the envelope. And have some cake.

I also think the party is a way to bring family together. I used to think otherwise. A friend unexpectedly lost his adult brother one summer. His brother had a little boy who had just turned one. The brother didn't want to throw a birthday party, but got talked into it. There were pictures and videos from that party. It's one of the few mementos this man now has of his father.and him together. I'd rather have a picture from a birthday party than a picture from a funeral although I will take both.

Honestly, my kids were given way too many toys and stuff when they were little. Thank goodness my siblings realized that very early on. They started giving practical gifts or gifts that could be consumed.

IMO, cash is fine and so is a $5 or $10 gift. My kids were as happy with a $5 jug of bubbles as they were with a $100 riding toy. They all also had favorite charcters like super heros, villains and princesses and chartoon characters. A simple tshirt with whoever on it was a hit. The garden section often has inexpensive whirlygigs and stuff that moves in the wind. My kids loved to put that in a flowerbed and admire it as they walked by. A $20 gift card to an ice cream shop would have been a highlight of a day too.

Bubbles!

OP hasn't come back because she decided on a book.

The party is quite a distance so gas also has to be included in the equation.

Sam works hard to support herself and money for extras doesn't come easy, I'm sure.

I think the family will be happy she made the long trip to be part this celebration.

Consider attending, Samkaren. Ignore what you might suspect. Give yourself the opportunity to reconnect with some family and meet the 2 year old.

You never can know how a set of relationships might evolve over time. Even if the child’s parents seem awkward, there will be others there. Even the kids and relatives of uninteresting people can include some fun and interesting individuals, you are exhibit A ;)

I’d get an affordable gift (good suggestions above) and forego the card, but wrap the gift in colorful, fun wrapping that a todder would enjoy.

Have a great time. Don’t let a mis-reading or assumption or whatever disconnect you from your extended family.

“Saw a book of bedtime stories on Amazon I think I'll get that.“

Perfect.

Amazon? Even better. Have them sent directly there and not attend if you don't want to.

A book of bedtime stories is great! Just wanted to comment on cards, as some people here think they are not necessarily worth it.....I always send my nieces and nephews cards. They LOVE getting mail, whether they're 2 or 22 (that is currently the age range of my 13 nieces/nephews!). When they're little tykes, I select a really cute card with a large cat or dog or other animal they'll recognize on it and I put stickers on the outside of the envelope. Their parents always let me know they love to carry the card around the house. I get all the kid cards from the Dollar Tree, 2 for $1, so it doesn't break the bank, though postage just might these days!

Thanks for all the feedback. It's not so much that I don't want to attend...it's more I've become such a hermit I just don't like going out. Lol of course I'll be the only one wearing a mask. There will be around 50 people attending and I'm going to protect myself. Some attending don't believe covid is bad and are unvaccinated. (Foolish I know) you have all been helpful and I appreciate it.

Little kids love to hand the cashier their own cash, so I would give the cash. A gift card is a pain because if you don't see anything you want, you're stuck with it. Or if you do but there's a dollar left, you have to buy something else to use up that dollar. At least with cash the child can buy slurpees at 7-11 if that's what they want, or a toy at the dollar store, or simply put it in their piggy bank. I am on a cashier almost every day and trust me: kids love to pay for their own items. With money. $20 sounds like a good amount to me too.

How about a savings bond. 50.00 face value will cost 25.