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Comments (23)Oh my, that would be great, Susan! Oh, you're not awful at sending seeds out. I don't think I ever waited on anything from you. Hey, how about you and I do a trade? I can use lots of false nettle seeds, seriously. I would greatly appreciate it if you could send me some. I have Tropical MW seeds from last year or can wait until the ones that I brought in the house have seeds. The seed pods are pretty big, so I'd think that I'd have some before too terribly long. I could also send you some Salvia coccinea 'Lady in Red' seeds if you're concerned that yours might not reseed; that's up to you, but I have extra. I also collected some Vernonia altissima seeds...only I temporarily misplaced them. Ha. I'll find them eventually, really I will! You're so lucky to have all of that FN. I had planned on having a lot of plants and did up until a certain point. First of all, I don't think all of mine made it through the winter, and then the drought did in a lot more and left me with I think 8, or maybe 9. The one was "iffy", so I don't know exactly how many I did end up with then. They're in partial shade; I wasn't quite sure where to plant them. I think I'll let them where they are, replace the ones that died, and also plant some in another area that gets more sun and see which ones do the best...or maybe they'll both do fine. I really would like to raise some RA cats. It sounds like I have more trouble with my rue up here than you do there, Susan. I have mine planted in two locations, both of which get pretty much sun, but I wasn't sure where else to put it. I have a total of about 30 plants. This year I bet I replaced about half of them. They didn't come back from the winter. I don't know their extreme low temp that they can tolerate, but it got down to minus 15 deg. here, so maybe it was just a little bit too nippy for them. I think rue is such a beautiful plant; I hate that it makes me wheeze and makes me feel itchy (so does the Tropical MW). I didn't mind it at first, but I must have developed allergies to some of the plants that I have here. I don't know why but I had been thinking that the A. clematitis isn't hardy up here, but of course, you're right. I just looked and it said hardy to zone 6. I appreciate the info you gave on that and those other pipevines. Now I have some researching to do. I love reading about plants. You sure have a variety of pipevines. I have mostly all A. macrophylla right now. The PVS seem to love it, so I didn't really add anything else for them, but I suppose I will sometime, surely one or more of the ones you mentioned. I have a couple of A. serpentaria plants too from last year actually and STILL didn't get them planted outside. So now you know how slow I am! Ha. Yeah, that's kind of the case with me too, no more room in the inn. I'm not expanding the gardens. If I want to put something new in, I guess something will probably have to come out to make room for it. Let me know about the seeds, and if you want to trade, email me for my address. I need yours again too. I really could use the False Nettle seeds, and thank you for the offer. Cathy...See MoreCuriosity kills that cat. I need help!
Comments (27)Hi everyone. I am so touched by all of yours thoughtful comments and suggestions. You're like my invisible friends whom I can turned to during this difficult time in my life. I can't really share with anyone in my circle of friends/family at this stage since I want to protect my wife's just in case we are going to work things out. ( For those who want to correct my English and have bias, please take your comments elsewhere. It's not welcome here. The last thing I want to do now is to correct my English. I just type away hoping that it makes sense). So far I haven't taken any action. I just want to think it through carefully and consider all of my options. I am actually very upset but I want to give myself sometimes to cool down and to collect myself so that I can sit down and talk to her in a respectful manner so that I don't hurt her pride. It's amazing that there are so many thoughtful and observant contributors on this forum. Marco keenly identified that I am actually Asian. And yes that is how things work in our culture. Case and point: Her parents ask to meet me first and talk to me before they give the OK to take their daughter out for a coffee on our first date. Not like in our culture here where one doesn't meet the parents until both are serious about getting married. For those who replied and took the moral high ground of respecting privacy, trusting and all that. Give me a break. I am glad you happen to have good marriage and you never have to think about snooping around. Like 'Jenny alabama' & 'labmoma' said one will be curious to find out what's going on especially when your spouse is behaving cold/distant from you and constantly deny and often refuse to talk about the subject of the heart. I can't recall when was the last time she look me in the eyes lovingly. And as I said am a very passionate person. This is where I got an uneasy feeling but didn't confront her on the wedding day. I wanted to make it the happiest day of my life. This is where it hurt me second to the recent event. During the ceremony she didn't even look me in the eyes as she repeat after the pastor and exchange the ring with me. During the entire day she seem to be pre-occupied with thoughts and didn't seem to pay attention to me. Am I too sensitive of a man? I asked her about it later she told me that she was nervous planning for the rest of the day. My thinking was, what else could be more important than spending those precious moments with your spouse in front of God as a witness. And now I am thinking maybe she didn't want to look me in the eyes because she ashamed of facing God for making a decision not from the heart. Yes this is what I get for trusting too much and thinking that how can I go wrong with an educated catholic girl. Of course I respect others' privacy and I think I have placed enough faith in her for the past two years. We agreed that because of the long distance in order for our relationship to work it has to base entirely on trust. I even mentioned to her about the anonymous emails and have never question her. I didn't call around to check her out then knowing that I could very capable of doing that, since it's a small town and I do have relatives who live in the city. She came up the explanation that made sense to me at the time that it was co-worker jealousy. Right before she came over some of my relatives did give me some vague warnings that they just recently heard over the grapevines but they don't want to tell me everything because they don't want me to be unhappy or talk bad about my wife. It's hard to hear that your wife has been around the block. I do find comfort in reading 'bnicebkind's' reply. Yes she does miss home naturally from being apart from her parents and friends and adapting to a new way of life. I do my best to understand and comfort her. She talks to her sister who live in a different state on the daily and call her parent on weekly basis. I find that this might be what she is going through: "Bushduh, sometimes after marriage (and especially after a baby) a woman may start thinking about a past boyfriend, and become obsessed with the fantasy of "what if". It does not always mean that if she actually had the opportunity to be with him again, that she would really want him, but sometimes women fantasize about that person, building him up in her mind to more than he ever really was in real life. Perhaps he was more romantic or made her feel beautiful, or wanted/loved in a way that marriage and the reality of real life cannot measure up to. The "reality" of marriage, responsibility, laundry, and dirty dishes, make some women yearn for the carefree life of a single woman just wanting to be loved, and the romance and excitement of it all. Real life with all of its responsibilities of being a grown up intrude on the fantasy. " Thank you 'bnicebkind'. I wouldn't have the experience and the insight to think of this. As you can see this forum helps me alot. Back home her mom cooks and if needed she simply swing to the corner cafe and get something to eat. Now she has to go to school and go home and cook. She certainly not ready to do that day in and day out. I offer to help cooking and I do the dishes. The problem is most people from a third world country form their perceptions though movies and think that the US is a piece of heaven. I have never promised her of heaven but did tell her as much as I can about how impersonal and busy life here is. Yes money is tight because I am looking for a job. But we live in a nice home. Some how she had a vision in her head that when she come I'd take her traveling before settling down to work/ or go to school and I'd take her on a shopping spree. So she was kind of disappointed when that didn't happen and I only took her to sight seeing locally and shop just enough. I am sure if I were to be well off go out eating often, travel, and shop without thinking then she's not as sad as she is today. But if she can find happiness in little of what we have and build a life together with me then we're in for the long term. I sure hope that it's a phase that she is going through. But for now I have a lot of doubt that is the case. For the life of me I can't understand writing to someone else about missing, hugs and kissing them while being married. But there is more...there is a little details I almost forgot to mention. She actually writing to two guys, one from her home country and the other I don't know(could be here in the US) with similar tone of voice. I am not sure what this fact tells me. Either she is as manipulative as others have warned me or this is how she deals with missing her home. Until we have the 'talk' then I can better judge the whole situation. I hope I am not naive then and accept one excuse to the next. I hope I have a clear vision to see though it and decide once and for all. Like Marco said: "Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't love you back." Thank you for reading my lengthy writing...please check back with this posting regularly and give me some insights.... Bushduh...See MoreMy cat got outside for 6 days she came back now wont eat
Comments (28)Hi Jimmy's Girl: So glad to hear your cat's ok. Please don't let obnoxious losers - who have nothing better to do than hide behind their computer and be a negative a$$ - deter you from visiting this site. Best just to ignore that type of person. You'll find that the number of kind people here more than make up for that sad type of individual. I agree that vet bills are, at times, ridiculous. I've found that you really need to shop around. I have a vet 10 minutes from me, but I drive 45-60 mins across town to go to a vet that is much less expensive and also much more caring and knowledgeable. If you need to, try several different vets as various issues arise until you find one you like. To get some good referrals, check with some cat rescue organizations in your area. They will know. It's such a relief for me now to have such a good vet, and to know that if I have to take one of my cats there, it's not going to break the bank. Also, do some reading, either on here or get some books from the library, so that you know which symptoms are the most urgent. To scope out which books are the best, use the reviews posted on Amazon. And, yes, please get your kitty spayed. Not only just in case she gets out again, but for behavioral purposes overall. You don't want her going into heat. Plus, if she's not spayed, that is definitely a driving force for her wanting to get out. And, and this is my opinion, please don't declaw her. When I was young, I declawed my first set of cats w/o realizing what a horrible thing it was. If you decide that you need to declaw her, it's your decision, but do educate yourself first. I know that money's tight, but you may want to consider adopting another kitty to be a friend for the one you have - especially while she's young, so they will definitely get along. If you adopt one from the Humane Society, you most likely won't have to pay much, if anything, for the cat; and they will provide a coupon for free spaying. And, again, your kitty may not be so keen to get out if she has a friend to play with. Another good source for cat info is Cats Int'l - I've provided the link below. I hope this post hasn't come across as preachy - I guess I'm assuming that you are young and/or new to cat ownership. ;) Best of luck, and please don't hesitate to come back again for help if you need to. Betsy Here is a link that might be useful: Cats International...See MoreCat people, I need your help, please.
Comments (25)outright fighting is not the only way they show hostility Funny you should say that, Breenthumb. I came downstairs this morning and discovered that one of the cats had peed on top of an antique table during the night. I have a tendency to blame Annie, but this time she was locked up, and so was Rocky. Pogo and Annie were so skittish this morning. Pogo usually spends some time in my bedroom after I get up, but he didn't stay this time. Peachy was afraid to come downstairs. They were nervous, and I was nervous. I played with Rocky a lot before Pogo and Peachy joined us downstairs, hoping to discharge some of his energy. He has an abundance of it. Then a few minutes ago Peachy (much smaller than Rocky) hissed at him, and he took a step toward her. That was all it took to make me want to put an end to this situation, at least for now. So I put Rocky outside. I know he'll want to come in. I have loved seeing him enjoying the comforts of home. But we'll try this for awhile, and continue to give the situation some thought. At least in the warm weather Rocky will have lots of human companionship outdoors, as we're a family of gardeners. I cancelled the vet appointment. Annie has never been easy to handle, and when I showed up she hid under the bed. The last thing I want is to risk another cat bite. I changed the dressing this morning, and my hand and wrist are swollen, red, and hot. I hope the Augmentin takes care of the infection. My thanks again to all....See Moreblfenton
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