I've been feeling exactly the same way so I'm of no help. At least we are now in grilling season in MN so I can switch to summer meals for a change. DH loves to grill so I take advantage of that, often with just a garden salad and a green vegetable - sometimes with a pasta dish if I'm feeling ambitious. We often have caprese salad - sliced tomato, sliced mozz, basil and store-bought balsamic reduction. Sometimes I make a package of four minute store-bought spinach ravioli or similar. We like leftovers so if I figure something out that usually covers a couple days. When it's really summer we sometimes just have a chicken or salmon caesar salad for dinner maybe with grapes and cheese on the side. Or I make a pasta salad that is entree worthy. Also BLTs in the summer. I'm just not as enthusiastic about menu planning, shopping and cooking as I once was.

I am in the same place, DLM. I am uninspired by food and cooking lately. Here are a few of my recent ideas.. but sorry, no recipes. I wing it.

I had a craving for cilantro lime rice the other day so i purchased items to make a grilled veggie burrito bowl this weekend-- cilantro lime rice, black beans, grilled corn, onions, peppers and zucchini. I'll use garlic, cayenne and chipotle powder on them.

I also have the ingredients to make the lemon pasta Zalco shared a week ago.

Tomorrow is going to be close to 100 deg and humid-- so i think I'll just go with caesar salad and watermelon. Even in AC, i don't want much in the heat and humidity.

Another dish I love is chicken salad served inside an ice cold cantaloupe half. I change my mind-- this will be my meal tomorrow. :)

I may be wrong, but i think you are completely misreading the OP, @olychick. I know my SO loves and appreciates my cooking and meals-- but left on his own, he'd eat frozen pizza and takeout. It doesn't mean i am expected to prepare meals-- or that I am trapped into the responsibility.

Grilled meats, frittatas, taco salad, tuna salad or chicken salad, with fresh veggies. Not many veggies are in here yet, but my local produce market gets two deliveries a week from Florida/Alabama. I'm hoping to get a good cantaloupe there today. I just did my grocery order, so here's a couple of things I'm fixing nest week - pork chops, a mexican casserole which has ground beef, rice (I use brown), a jar of salsa, black beans, corn. I'll do a green salad with it. I'll get cukes and tomatoes to slice and eat with a meal in place of salad. We also like cooked apples as a side.

Oly, I do the cooking, but I don't feel trapped. If I don't want to cook, there are usually leftovers or other items in the fridge/pantry. Or like last night, I wasn't in the mood to cook - we went out. I may do the cooking, but my husband does alot of things that I don't do around here. It's a team effort.

I won’t be much help! Weeknights, we rarely cook a traditional meal. Most evenings, we enjoy cocktails and nibbles on the patio. We love salads — lettuce based with lots of toppings, pasta salads, fruit salads, etc. Or a cheese/apple platter, parmesan-encrusted green beans (local store deli section has them, they bake for a few minutes and are very filling), broccoli tots, corn on the cob, sweet potato fries, sushi, thin crust veggie pizza, etc. DH likes to make himself a waffle at times. The other night, I roasted a few kinds of veggies with fresh herbs and seasonings, and we snacked on that. We might do a fridge clean out and make a big batch of deviled eggs. Just simple things.

DH likes to grill, we’ll usually have chicken or shrimp when he does. Maybe a turkey sausage link with a side. Nothing too heavy.

We’re empty nesters now and just kind of eat what we want, sometimes different things. I have some dietary/health issues now, too, so can’t do a lot of what I used to.

These are the parmesan green beans, I could eat these every night! Dip in ’lite’ Ranch dressing and that’s dinner. :)

They also have a crab-stuffed salmon dinner DH loves … he gets it often. Cooks in the oven in 20 min. Our store has a lot of very good ready made meals for decent prices.

I never enjoyed cooking but of course had to feed the children! DH and I are similar to Jinx. We like simple light dinners. I used to work with a few avid cooks. They joked my dinners were appetizers for them.

I'm not ashamed say we like California Kitchen’s frozen pizza.

DLM, sounds like you just need a break to regroup.

Sounds like your DH likes simple.

Thank you all for the suggestions so far (and commiseration!) - heading out the door to a peony farm YAY! Back later to yack some more.

H traveled frequently to international offices pre-Covid so meal planning for the family always fell to me. Now that he works from home permanently, and no longer travels, it is so nice to have him sharing the cooking (and he likes to cook fortunately). However, deciding on what to eat/make is the bane of our existence and sort of a daily joke! FWIW, we still have kids at home.

This chicken dish is incredibly easy.

https://cafedelites.com/garlic-tomato-basil-chicken/

If you like salmon and asparagus, this is also easy.

https://natashaskitchen.com/one-pan-salmon-asparagus-recipe-video/

We make this grilled chicken all the time. We grill extra as it is so moist and flavorful - great slice up and serve on salad, use on a sandwich, etc. I make ziploc bags of it that my son takes back to college, frozen, then defrosts and cooks on his grill pan.

https://www.onceuponachef.com/recipes/perfectly-grilled-chicken-breasts.html

Most of the time, we eat the above chicken on top of Caesar salad using this super simple Caesar salad dressing recipe.

https://www.onceuponachef.com/recipes/caesar-salad-dressing.html

We eat lighter in the summer - we have a vegetable garden so we grill a lot of veggies (zucchini, eggplant, summer squash). We make a lot of caprese salad with our tomatoes, sometimes just have a BLT for dinner.

We also eat a lot of "bowl" dinners - poke with sushi grade tuna, chipotle w/grilled chicken or steak, Thai using shrimp or grilled pork tenderloin. Depending on the meal, I just put out the bowl fixings and family can assemble their own based on what they like (for example, chipotle - rice, black beans, diced avocado, shredded lettuce, meat/poultry, cheese, grilled peppers, salsa, etc)

@Jilly I bet you could make those green beans in your airfryer - and probably healthier too. I'm ashamed to say I have used my fryer so very little!

I do enjoy cooking - most of the time - and now that I'm retired, I enjoy it more. But, it is so easy to think of different meals! That's when I get frustrated, when I feel like I am cooking the same thing over and over. I save recipes I find online to try - and that helps. I also usually cook two larger meals a week - so that we will have leftovers. I will cook a smaller meal another night and we usually eat out a couple of times a week. Another thing hard for me is we try to eat healthy - and clean. But we eat differently. I normally eat only two meals a day - one around 11:00 am and then dinner. The Mr. is up earlier than me, he eats breakfast. He eats 3 meals a day. He is Mr. Energetic - always on the go, doing something; so I feel like he needs a bulkier meal. Of course, he is not constantly watching his weight, like I am! ***rolls eyes***

Something else I didn't mention - we occasionally like breakfast for dinner. Would that work for you and your husband?

My point was just that women seem to be (for the most part) responsible for deciding about food. For their whole marriages, if they are married. I know marriages are a partnership in most cases, too. Men have their responsibilities. But the relentless, unending need to decide about food (even if it's whether to cook, what to cook, not to cook, or go out or whatever), seems to always fall mostly on the shoulders of women. There are few other household chores that require the amount of time and effort and emotional energy that meal planning, shopping, prepping does. It really is never ending and relentless. Day after day - every day. Even when working outside the home, women do double duty re: food.
I see and hear enough complaints from women to believe it's a problem/annoyance or worse for a lot of us. A nagging that we have to do it, we have to do it right - even if it means putting our own needs and desires on the back burner because it's too much work to do it two different ways. Or to not feel guilty if we don't do it at all.

Grilling vegetables, like zucchini or tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with Parmesan afterwards is nice. Grilled raddicchio and romain lettuces are delicious. Cut the heads in half or quarters, drizzle with olive oil, serve with a saueeze of lemon.

I keep chicken breasts marinating in yogurt, crushed garlic and lemon juice in the refrigerator (shish tawook.) Super easy to grill and serve with pita and store bought tadziki.

I am going to try to make salmon with an Asian sauce tonight, we'll see how that goes. Usually I dredge salmon in flour, salt and cayenne, and pan fry in butter. If I am feeling lazy or healthy I put the salmon in the oven with a glug of Vermouth and a bunch of lemon juice, cover tightly with foil for about 10 minutes or so.

Under normal circumstances I would not cook often for just myself and my husband, but somehow eating out is less than appealing these days what with the plague spreading again and all.

One of my favourite things is seafood salad or tuna salad or something like that when it is hot. I like to make sure there's something crunchy in it so often add very very small pieces of celery. I don't like the dressing to be too heavy so I go easy on the mayonnaise and a Little bit stronger on the spices. I brighten the flavors with apple cider vinegar or lemon or something like that when needed. I don't want things too heavy on the stomach during summertime heat.

For the DH situation which I understand is kind of common.. I would be very tempted to make videos of everything you make that he doesn't make. That way he could have what you make if so inclined with no excuse plus you could have fun putting the video together. Any kind of a twist to make it less boring for you.

You could make your part of the meals together using video.

olychick I agree that meal planning/cooking should not be one person's responsibility unless the couple prefers it that way. I think I'm possibly a younger generation than you but most of my friends share the meal planning responsibilities with their husbands, especially those who are dual income families. H is one of five kids, three of whom are male, and the men all jointly share the cooking. My brother and my sister's husband both cook as much as their wives. My male neighbor does most of the cooking at his house b/c his wife is not good at it, but she does help with grocery shopping, and does prepare certain meals. These are just a few examples within my greater social circle.

My father, at 87, still cooks. Anytime we have a family get together at my parents' house (had one just last week), my father plans and cooks most of the meal. And he does some elaborate stuff, not merely grilled a protein.

I have two sons and two daughters. Only my oldest daughter lives on her own, but I have always thought it important that my sons know how to cook as much as my daughters. It makes me happy when my older son texts or calls me or Dh from the grocery store near his college apartment to ask for advice or suggestions about certain recipes or things he is cooking. Younger son will have a kitchen at his campus apartment next year so he's looking forward to making some of his own meals as well. I think it's an important skill that should not be delegated to one gender.

Oly, I think a lot of the extra work women take on is out of a need to control the outcome. Whether it is about how we want the house kept, the children dressed and groomed or the food consumed, our partners are more than capable of managing, we just like our ways better and for one reason or another we may not be willing to compromise on those issues. Nobody is making us do it, but if we have a certain end goal in mind, then it's on us. My husband could not care less whether or not I make the salmon tonight. When he is hungry, he will pull out the phone and hit Uber Eats. I feel a need to make sure we eat something more wholesome than what he comes up with, so I cook, as minimally as I can, but it falls to me because I am the controlling one.

I agree with Tina, taco salad for sure! Have you had it with Catalina dressing? I also agree about tuna salad sandwiches.

Deviled eggs are great to keep on hand, and if you have an egg maker it's much easier and hassle free getting the shells off.

Tell your DH to cook me a burger and a dog. Burnt! :)

Also, cook favorites you both love in a large quantity so you can have it left over. Easy casseroles are the best, or a bunch of grilled burgers.

Maybe not all that healthy but in the summer I make a round platter of 7 layer dip to eat with tuna salad sandwiches.

yeonassky, I rely on tuna whenever I'm feeling uninspired. Sometimes sandwiches or wraps, occasionally tuna melts. As soon as I have a vine ripened tomato from the garden I'm going to try these tuna spring rolls with the spicy garlicky creamy dip.

Lately I've been making Tacos, arranged on a plate with a pile of shredded lettuce in the middle with spicy guacamole salsa on top.

Tonight it's snowing, temp is dropping. I made a penne tuna casserole, added 1/2 cup of fresh off the cob kernel corn, topped with cracker crumbs dredged in butter & grated cheddar cheese.

Paella Salad from Deborah PS on the old Garden Web

Nicole, tuna casserole sounds delish. I need to go check the cupboards. :)

We eat at home almost every meal. i enjoy preparing food and over the years have developed a repertoire of delicious and easy meals. Tonight we are having lean pork loin, fresh corn on the cob, and cole slaw. The pork was in the oven about 38 minutes, during which time i shucked the corn and microwaved it (the best and easiest method to cook corn IMO), and made the coleslaw using preshredded cabbage and my own secret recipe. For lunch we had a vegetable salad with chopped raw kale and broccoli, shredded raw brussel sprouts, thinly sliced celery, dried cherries, slivered almonds, sunflower seeds, shredded savory chicken from breasts i made in the slow cooker yesterday, and a homemade lemon vinaigrette with a bit of crystallized ginger. Aside from a large snack of blueberries and blackberries that’s it for me for the day. I dont like breakfast and when i try to force myself to eat it I am miserable!

We don’t grill— in fact we didn't bother to bring ours when we moved. Dh doesnt care to do it and I frankly think its a lot of bother and inefficient unless you’re feeding an outdoor crowd.

I cook for myself and DH, although if left to his own devices he would eat takeout pizza and frozen Marie Callander fruit pies. He doesnt expect me to produce meals and when i was working we had a housekeeper who cooked. In retirement I have flexed my culinary muscles and now cook most everything from scratch— by choice. Although the food at the club is very good, it’s high calorie and we can’t use those extra calories at this stage!

My baby garden greens are still hanging in there, though the increasing heat is making them fade quickly. The beloved pea tendrils are gone, sadly. My honorary daughters (the sprites) still like to make homemade pizza on Friday evenings so we often have that over at their house so our we enjoyed that with a nice, fresh salad.

My husband had taken over most of the cooking chores and what he doesn't do, the chef Sprite does. She is also quite a menu planner at 13 so I've sort of been retired from the family food service role for quite a while!

In our house I am normally the cook not because I’m trapped but because i like things to be delicious and I’m the one who can do it to my own satisfaction so it is my problem.

But I’ll one up you in the challenge of what to cook today department because I’m vegetarian and to me that‘s harder than starting with a chicken, piece of meat or fish. But again, I created my problem.

Well I'm retired and he's not so there's no reason I shouldn't take responsibility for meal planning, shopping and cooking. There was a time when he wasn't working and I was and I came home to fabulous dinners. If I don't feel like cooking we go out or get take out. I just wish I was more inspired and enthusiastic about it but I'm not. I do get more fired up about it when we have guests at our lake cabin. Currently on a major menu planning shopping, cooking tear for Memorial weekend.

For the last many years I needed to be at work early every Sat morning but my lifestyle has changed and I’m going to the farmers market tomorrow. Yippee. hoping for spring produce inspiration.

Lettuce wraps. I forgot those earlier. Thai style … I could eat them every day and they’re so quick and easy. Minced chicken, garlic, minced mushrooms, ginger, scallions, water chestnuts, and crispy noodles topping is my fav, but there are so many good combos.

And street tacos — corn tortillas with any filling you want…. veggies, pulled pork, shredded chicken, any kind of cheese, lettuce, etc. Serve with Elotes or beans, and guacamole.

While some of the recipes above seem delicious, DLM said she wants simple. Just saying....

I'm going back to Tulsa to get me some Elotes! Best neighborhood in Tulsa too!

EASY marinades (dump and walk away). Bottled italian dressing. I use on chicken and pork tenderloin.

Soyaki from Trader Joes. I use on chicken or salmon or a vege5able stir fry.

Empty nester here too. I always cook enough for a second meal the next evening. I aim to keep a few meals in the freezer for days that I don’t want to cook (soups, cooked burgers or lasagna porttions).

I regularly toss either brocolli, cauliflower, gren beans, or even asparagus on a sheet pan, with some liberallly 21-Seasoning Salute (Trader Joes)-sprinkled chicken thighs, or pork chops(add a little smoked paprika for pork), season the veggies, and coat them with good olive oil. Throw that in a fairly hot oven until the meat is done.

About once a week we have salmon, but I do it stovetop. It is also amazing in foil, with lemon slices, butter, olive oil, and asparagus.

On our bike night we have to leave the house by 4:45, so I make Crack Slaw…brown some ground meat in bacon fat, slice up about 1/2 a cabbage head. Add the cabbage, and let it soften a bit, then add your favorite asian seasonings. I use garlic, ginger, dry mustard. Add some Coconut Aminos, sesame oil, and a few drops of sucralose(or sugar). Cover for a few minutes. Go ride your bike 20 miles!!

I broke out of my funk by signing up for a meal delivery plan! We do two a week from a local place. They hand deliver it from their kitchen directly to a cooler on our porch. The cost is about $25 per meal (for both of us) which I justify because it is less than our pizza delivery order expense. The meal plans have given me a few good ideas for brightening up our other meals. Chimichurri, splashes of citrus, unusual salsas, etc.

DH and I have very different tastes and calorie requirements. He'd be happy with steak and fries every night. The constant compromise can be frustrating. He would cook and meal plan but I really dislike his cooking so I do most of the shopping and preparation.

DLM — please tell us about the peonies!

Questions re your post:

— DH is picky eater or inexerienced or unmotivated cook?

— Is DH a good sport if you want to make something outside of his comfort zone? Will he make something, put something together for himself?-

— Will/does your DH ever cook independenty?

Are Left

— Are leftovers okay?

— Are you looking for something simple, tasty and yummy — that is you have an appetite and are uo for cooking if it doesnt feel like ho hum boring groundhog day drudgery?

— do you have many dislikes re food?

A lot of us can feel as though we’ve gotten into a cooking/ mean planning rut, I am always hungry ;) and my DH is not picky and is willing to cook. Easy tomplease, so that is good.

We have a freezer, two fridges, and ample cool pantry space, so that s helpful with creating spur of the moment meals that don’t require a trip to the market. Still, there are times when I want some tasty tidbits that come from a take out menu.

Continued, next post.

Meals, Recipes, Inspiration and planning

I keep a few binders for recipes.

I try to have a few quasi ”emergency” or ”Menu Rehabilitation” groups. For example:

— Meals/lunches when we are busy with projects. So, say, if we are painting the house, tearing out the grass, no need to go out for orders or play Sturbridge Village chef.

Tuna sandwiches and variations, rice veggiews and variations; frozen then defrosted ”kit” meals (spag sauce, casseroles, enchiladas. Defrost trimmedchicken thighs, frozen veggies; spinach-Feta Pierogies, Potstickers.

— Fast staples: cheeses, breads, spinach, condiments, pasta and noodles, garlic, ginger, scallions, napa cabbage, greens, frozen or tinned broth. Fresh basil, scallions, sweet onions, red onions, greens, eggs. Frozen shrimp. broccoli. marinara sauce. lemons. fresh vegggies.

It helps to keep a folder or list, because when heat and humidity turn my brain into mush, I can open a binder and “see.”

I am good at winging it, ad hoc concoctions. In waarm weather, with a humidity addled noggin, I find that flavor and spice come to my rescue.

Open- \face tuna melt on whole grain-seeded bread splashed with Sriracha, served with crisp lettuce works.

Poor Man’s Sushi is quick and healthful. King Oscar sardines on saltines. Yum.

Day old leftover steamed rice is easy to turn into yummy fried rice: sugar snap peas (staple), garlic, onion, Asian/Chinese condiments, napa or greens, a bit of mushroom, egg, bean sprouts, Frozen Chinese sausage (ham bits, shrimp), toaste sesame oil, oyster sauce, Jarred broth paste. Voila.

I ”steal” and reverse engineer recipes too. ”Mollies (Asian) noodles from a farm stand deli; Chicken salad w ginger and curriy on Rustic bread (from a deli in Acton, MA 1996).

Ad hoc ramen with frozen home made broth and staples.

Pump up the Flavor Recipes:

Kung Pao _____; spicy condiments on lots of regular fare (ex brussels sprouts, halved.

Pan toasted then add Sriracha and maple syrup, serve w day old pan crisped rice.

Enchiladas — refried beans, add onion, cumin, corriander, jalrpeno, refried beans, cheese, any slasa verde if in pantry.

Omelettes — add anything

pastas — add anything

So sorry! Did not mean to ask for help then disappear - had a couple of minor crises to deal with (all is well) and now I'm back reading through all your suggestions.

First I want to address what oly said about women who seem trapped in a role - can't speak for anyone else but you're not wrong in my case. I have absolutely been the one in my marriage who is (for the most part) responsible for deciding about food. It was different BK (before kids) but ever since and continuing empty nest, it has been my role. It's neither good nor bad, it's what worked for us but I am well and truly tired of it now! That said, it's not going to change at the moment, maybe at all. DH is not retired, I am the one with more interest in different foods and here we are. It's not about his expectation that I cook because if I say we're having turkey sandwiches for dinner he's perfectly content to make his plain with turkey and mayo while I make mine with tomato, lettuce, aoli etc on toasted sourdough rye. You're correct again that I don't want to make two meals and could leave him to fend for himself but cooking something that's beyond basic food for just me is a hassle and not something I'm going to do regularly if at all. Sometimes I will say scr3w it and make something using an ingredient he doesn't like - he can pick it out - but it still irks me seeing things get pushed aside and thrown out. He is who he is, he is never going to eat asparagus or scallops or raw tomatoes or, or, or. Being the Chief Food Officer is at least 50% mental and I'm mentally depleted, hence looking for ideas but obviously there was more rant inside me.

Tina we're in the same boat - we're a team and although the chore division is very much along traditional lines, I have no intention of cleaning the gutters or changing the oil so cooking it is! Tell me about your cooked apples and do you have a specific frittata combo you use? DH always has eggs for breakfast (work is physical, he needs the protein and calories) so egg based dinners are infrequent for us but once in a while it works.

Jinx I can't tell you how jealous I am of your cocktails and nibbles! That's my kind of evening. The green beans sound yum.

eld I do need a break and DH does like simple which is fine much of the time but I get bored with it. Appetizers are my favorite way to do dinner - little bits of really tasty things.

4kids I have made that cafe delites chicken many times! I have almost stopped buying chicken breasts because they have no flavor and are often dry so will def try that recipe from OUAC - I like her recipes but for some reason never tried that. My sons both cook and love experimenting with different foods - generational for sure but I also had them in the kitchen with me early on.

Zalco I am married to a man with 14 year old boy eating preferences -I can't even imagine the look on his face if I presented him with grilled raddicchio but it would be worth trying just to see his reaction! I have husband envy ;-) Shish tawook (had to look that up) in pita sounds really good - do you use tomatoe paste in yours? We love salmon - I actually freeze mine in a marinade (pineapple juice, garlic powder, soy, bourbon, oil) so it's always on hand to grill - DH won't eat it any other way. We're still not eating out either, although going to brunch on Sunday with friends for our anniversary. Numbers are up here but it's porch dining.

yeonassky I love celery in my tuna or chicken salad - that's the way my mom made it so I do too. You made me laugh about making videos for DH - I'd rather just cook!

Oakley I have not had Cataline dressing since I was a kid. As I remember there's a lot of sugar in it, yes? Leftovers are my jam - and thankfully DH likes them so I do try to cook with that in mind a couple of times/week.

Judi my tuna repertoire is pretty limited but that looks good.

nicole - taco/burrito type dishes were on regular rotation here but I haven't made them in a while - thanks for the reminder.

bbstx I'd love that Paella salad not sure I could get DH on board

Now Kswl you can't say "my own secret recipe" on a thread talking about recipes and food and then not share! I have never met a cole slaw that I don't like and would love to know your secret.

rhizo I will never see the day my DH takes over cooking - lucky you!

lisaam I could probably be 75% vegetarian. The older I get the more I am bothered by the process

petalique - peonies were lovely but we had a few days of heat so they wereprobably better a week ago. Plus they were VERY expensive at least IMO. $7/stem for cut flowers, $60 - $160 for a plant to bring home. DH is picky - the list of things he won't eat is frustrating. He has no interest in cooking. He eats leftovers no problem. There are very few things I don't eat - eggplant, okra and eel - pretty easy to work aroud! Reading your second post two things are obvious to me - we need to invest in a small freezer so there's a stash available and I have obviously lost my mojo because I used to do just about everything you mentioned. I did laugh at the sardines, though - sardines, pickled or creamed herring, smoked oysters were standards in my house growing up - DH would turn tail and run.

Weird. I updated this 3 hours ago and it never bumped to the first page. Wonder if this will do it.

It bumped-- but no post from you 3 hr ago :(

I just spent a scant 45 minutes emptying my refrigerator into my largest dutch oven to make ribollita. The Times had a recipe for ”spring” ribollita with sliced pea pods and other spring veg, but I just made it my same old way with onions, celery celery, spinach (finished the kale yesterday), zuccini zucchini, yellow squash, cannellini beans, leftover shredded plain chicken in lieu of pancetta, san marzano tomatoes, tomato- chocken broth and croutons i made from a loaf of sourdough we could not eat. It was mostly chopping that took all the time, and putting all the containers in the dishwasher 😎 I had it for dinner all by itself for a healthy filling meal.

Really Funkyart? I can see it above my 'Weird' post. You don't see that? I spent an hour on that!

Kswl that sounds delicious.

No — nothing Maybe you have a word that triggered the spam filter? you could try to cut and paste it in a new post i hate that you spent so much time on it and we cant see it!

Is is delicious, Funky! I added a picture….my main concern is not to over cook the veg.

It was long so maybe over a word limit? I'll try breaking it up into 2 posts. Ahhh.... I bet I know. I used the word that's like a nail but you don't use a hammer you use a tool to turn it. I even wrote the word using a 3 instead of the E trying to be clever with filters.

part 1

So sorry! Did not mean to ask for help then disappear - had a couple of minor crises to deal with (all is well) and now I'm back reading through all your suggestions.

First I want to address what oly said about women who seem trapped in a role - can't speak for anyone else but you're not wrong in my case. I have absolutely been the one in my marriage who is (for the most part) responsible for deciding about food. It was different BK (before kids) but ever since and continuing empty nest, it has been my role. It's neither good nor bad, it's what worked for us but I am well and truly tired of it now! That said, it's not going to change at the moment, maybe at all. DH is not retired, I am the one with more interest in different foods and here we are. It's not about his expectation that I cook because if I say we're having turkey sandwiches for dinner he's perfectly content to make his plain with turkey and mayo while I make mine with tomato, lettuce, aoli etc on toasted sourdough rye. You're correct again that I don't want to make two meals and could leave him to fend for himself but cooking something that's beyond basic food for just me is a hassle and not something I'm going to do regularly if at all. Sometimes I will say "that word" it and make something using an ingredient he doesn't like - he can pick it out - but it still irks me seeing things get pushed aside and thrown out. He is who he is, he is never going to eat asparagus or scallops or raw tomatoes or, or, or. Being the Chief Food Officer is at least 50% mental and I'm mentally depleted, hence looking for ideas but obviously there was more rant inside me.

Tina we're in the same boat - we're a team and although the chore division is very much along traditional lines, I have no intention of cleaning the gutters or changing the oil so cooking it is! Tell me about your cooked apples and do you have a specific frittata combo you use? DH always has eggs for breakfast (work is physical, he needs the protein and calories) so egg based dinners are infrequent for us but once in a while it works.

Jinx I can't tell you how jealous I am of your cocktails and nibbles! That's my kind of evening. The green beans sound yum.

eld I do need a break and DH does like simple which is fine much of the time but I get bored with it. Appetizers are my favorite way to do dinner - little bits of really tasty things.

4kids I have made that cafe delites chicken many times! I have almost stopped buying chicken breasts because they have no flavor and are often dry so will def try that recipe from OUAC - I like her recipes but for some reason never tried that. My sons both cook and love experimenting with different foods - generational for sure but I also had them in the kitchen with me early on.

Part 2

Zalco I am married to a man with 14 year old boy eating preferences -I can't even imagine the look on his face if I presented him with grilled raddicchio but it would be worth trying just to see his reaction! I have husband envy ;-) Shish tawook (had to look that up) in pita sounds really good - do you use tomatoe paste in yours? We love salmon - I actually freeze mine in a marinade (pineapple juice, garlic powder, soy, bourbon, oil) so it's always on hand to grill - DH won't eat it any other way. We're still not eating out either, although going to brunch on Sunday with friends for our anniversary. Numbers are up here but it's porch dining.

yeonassky I love celery in my tuna or chicken salad - that's the way my mom made it so I do too. You made me laugh about making videos for DH - I'd rather just cook!

Oakley I have not had Cataline dressing since I was a kid. As I remember there's a lot of sugar in it, yes? Leftovers are my jam - and thankfully DH likes them so I do try to cook with that in mind a couple of times/week.

Judi my tuna repertoire is pretty limited but that looks good.

nicole - taco/burrito type dishes were on regular rotation here but I haven't made them in a while - thanks for the reminder.

bbstx I'd love that Paella salad not sure I could get DH on board

Now Kswl you can't say "my own secret recipe" on a thread talking about recipes and food and then not share! I have never met a cole slaw that I don't like and would love to know your secret.

rhizo I will never see the day my DH takes over cooking - lucky you!

lisaam I could probably be 75% vegetarian. The older I get the more I am bothered by the process

petalique - peonies were lovely but we had a few days of heat so they wereprobably better a week ago. Plus they were VERY expensive at least IMO. $7/stem for cut flowers, $60 - $160 for a plant to bring home. DH is picky - the list of things he won't eat is frustrating. He has no interest in cooking. He eats leftovers no problem. There are very few things I don't eat - eggplant, okra and eel - pretty easy to work aroud! Reading your second post two things are obvious to me - we need to invest in a small freezer so there's a stash available and I have obviously lost my mojo because I used to do just about everything you mentioned. I did laugh at the sardines, though - sardines, pickled or creamed herring, smoked oysters were standards in my house growing up - DH would turn tail and run.

Yes. When are we going to do something?

DLM. I dnt see part 1

Yes, get a moderate, med sized chest freezer for your own stash (you‘re essentially cooking good food for one) and for the ho hum DH fare. For DH, go to a good cafeteria (do you live around greater Boston?) and stock up on simple meals. Date and freeze ”kits” for DH.

The need to eat, and eat so often, is definitely a design flaw.

I love to cook and entertain, but the relentless drudgery of feeding oneself and ones family is a different matter.

I think it helps to have some structure, so that you at least are not wasting time and energy on decision making. So maybe it would be something like each given night is Pasta or Salad or Seafood or Chicken or Beef or Takeout/Dineout, Leftovers, or Random recipe generator. Also, make meals modular. Every meal is a protein, a green, and a starch. List your faves in each category.

Of course, I do none of these things.

Meal planning is not a task to be underestimated. My DD2 and DS are going to Maine this weekend with friends. The week after DD1 is going up with a group of her pals. They are trying to plan meals, and I have to laugh at them realizing how tricky this is! It's a very complex optimization problem.

Of course, I do none of these things.

Misery loves company.