Don't feel bad. What you're trying to do does require a lot of finesse and without the experience it's a learning process for sure. If you can figure it out you'll definitely save some money. It's especially fun when you can go to a second hand store and find a great piece of furniture that's cheap and unwanted because the finish is in bad shape. Okay, so you're at the point of over sanding and cutting into the underlying stain. I'm assuming the color is different and it's not just the white haze caused by sanding on varnish? It's probably still possible to blend the lighter spots back in but I'm not sure you'd want to purchase the supplies to try the techniques out. I sometimes use touch up markers from a commercial finish supplier or raw pigments and dyes mixed with thinned shellac. You'd have to invest $50+ in supplies to attempt a technique that is difficult even for a pro and may fail and the supplies will likely go to waste afterwards. Now if I were working on that table, I'm guessing I'd be swinging into full strip and refinish mode. The reason is that you say your husband's poly is cloudy in spots. If that was there before you started sanding then it could be water damage. Otherwise, it's almost certainly an indication that the finish has separated from the surface below. Trying to finish over the top of that would be a waste of time. No, you don't have to sand all the finish off. It's also really difficult to sand off an old finish and end up with nice, even coloring afterwards. Using chemical strippers is a lot easier but also a little intimidating if you've not done it before. For starters, you need to do it outside because you don't have the equipment to ventilate the fumes. Secondly, you'll need to invest in $30 of gloves, scrapers, brushes and other supplies if you don't have them already. This will also remove most of the stain and require matching the new finish to the chairs. Your best bet is to first see if there's a reputable shop in your area that is setup with a flow-over strip system, outsource the stripping but do the refinish yourself. Chances are, it'll cost you almost as much to get supplies to get started with the chemicals as it will to pay a professional to do that part. If you do that job yourself, you'll need plastic drop cloth, heavy nitrile or neoprene gloves (probably multiple pairs unless you find the good ones), some scrub brushes, plastic putty knives and half a dozen pieces of Scotch Brite. That's in addition to the stripper and the solvent required to wash away the residue. I use methylene chloride stripper but it's potent stuff. Breathing it is bad and it will burn skin within seconds of contact. Plenty of ventilation is a must when using that and since some companies add flammable solvent to the mix, explosion-proof ventilation is a must. That means work outdoors or own professional finishing equipment. The citrus-based and soy based strippers work fine but are slower and in my experience, more expensive. 3M Safest Stripper is very slow but effective when used properly and can be used indoors. Downsides are water content will make the wood moist and it was more expensive than the others the last time I checked. If after reading that, you prefer the hard, dusty work of sanding, then my approach would be to get good coated (minimizes clogging) sandpaper from an automotive finish supplier and start with 80 grit on flat surfaces. Don't bear down on the paper, just use even, smooth strokes and let the paper do the cutting. Stop using the 80 as soon as the wood starts showing through and move to 100 to get most of the remainder off. 120 is good for cleaning off the last residue and you can jump to 220 to prepare for stain. Always sand with the grain of the wood. For profiles and other details, I'd not start below 150 grit. Be careful sanding on that top though. It may be a thin veneer so avoid removing any wood. and that's another reason I use chemicals instead of sandpaper.

What you want sounds like an unfitted or evolved kitchen. I would recommend Johnny Grey as well for ideas. I found his books to be very helpful. You won't have to tear everything out of your grandmother's kitchen to start again, if you don't want to. Johnny Grey's aunt was cooking writer Elizabeth David. Her kitchen, which he shows in one of his books, is a real inspiration. We live in an 1850's farmhouse and I decided I wanted a functional kitchen that looked like it had been collected by us and the previous owners sometime during the lifespan of the house. We have some separate pieces and some fixed cabinetry, some antiques, some reproductions, some old favourites from previous kitchens, some built or adapted for this one. We hid the DW and fridge behind cabinet panels and used a Heartland Legacy stove that looks like it is out of the 1940's. We used some paint and some natural pine for the cabinets, some wood and some soapstone for counters. We opened part of the wall into the family room to allow in more light. Between the two rooms we removed and reinstalled the old wainscotting under the breakfast bar. We created new wainscotting in the same style for the backsplashes and the raised cabinet beside the stove. Here are some thumbnails from our kitchen, click on them to see enlargements:

Some photos would be helpful as "old worn look" is not specifically descriptive. Do you know what type of wood it is? I'd hold off on the steel wool. Some woods (for example oaks, that contain a lot of tannin), will react with the iron in the steel wool and leave black spots. First, your finish will never be better than your preparation. Just cleaning and sanding will not effectively remove the old finish, in general. And a finish will not smooth out a splintery surface. Second, be aware that most products called "Tung Oil Finish" are not tung oil, and most do not even contain any tung oil. Most are either a thinned varnish or a linseed oil-varnish blend. Unless it says 100% tung oil and contains no petroleum distillates, you are getting an imposter. Something that "looks sort of like tung oil." Tung oil, the real stuff, is not very protective and if you don't apply it right and allow sufficient inter-coat dry time, it will not look good and need to be stripped off. Varathane is a brand name, not a specific product. It's sort of like saying, should I buy a Chevy? Well are you talking about a Volt, a Corvette, or a cargo van? Varathane makes both urethane and acrylic (water-borne) varnishes, as well as stains and other things. It would also be helpful to know the look and feel that you are aiming for. Since we don't know that the current appearance is, it's hard to say what is going to change it.

OOh, Allison, my table top looks almost identical to your "before" pic so you have given me hope! Thanks. Now, they made me a NEW "old" table. They did NOT use the maple top. Maple does not take stain very well and wouldn't get as dark as I wanted. busybee3, the places in the close up that look like "burn marks" are the gouges. They stained darker than the top of the wood. I don't remember what they used to seal, but it made a stink for a few days after. It was not a shiny finish - matte. I never use shiny. Our hardwood floors were finished with tung oil because I wanted no shine whatsoever. My island (antique pine) was finished with Good Stuff For Wood. Not sure why they didn't use it on the table too. I will take a better picture of the top, but I'm running late so I cant do it now.